Why you should never strike up a conversation...
 

...with a tired cyclist who happens to be a hotheaded.

Mile 36ish of 60 or 6 miles into the return trip home.
I am riding up a narrow 2 lane street with cars on both sides, effectively making it a one way street.
Basically I take the lane almost the entire way up the street. When I approached the instersection I positioned myself to the left side of this lane to prevent right hooking. After pulling to a stop a man in a grey SUV (nissan I think) pulls up next to me. The following conversation ensues (disclaimer: I'm paraphrasing parts of it. My memory is a tad hazy when I loose my temper). Parts in parantheses are my thoughts added during writing this post.

Him: Do you know I almost hit you back there?
Me: Sounds like you have a problem
Him: How long have you been cycling?
Me: 5 years (what qualifies as cycling anyway? I could have said 25 if I counted from when I learned to bike). What is it to you? I am allowed to ride in the streets by Colorado state law
Him: I've been cycling twice as long and ......(can't remember this part). You have to ride to the right side of the street.
Me: No I do not. (should have remembered the part of the law the states as is practical or safe to do so). What does the length of time you have been a cyclist have to do with anything? Is the fact you are older than me make you more intelligent?
Him: snicker
Me: <the next minute or two are filled with me degenerating into 4 letter words and calling him various names not fit for polite company>
.....
Me: f'ing idiots like you driving gas guzzling SUVs are one of the main reasons so many cyclists are killed.
(strange comment. I have no issues with owning a SUV. Not that I do)
....... <more cursing>

The last thing I remember is me saying the following:
You are such an a$$, please tell me you did not procreate. (or something to that effect)

Then I pull out in front of him (stupid move) and slowly cycle taking up the whole lane. A minute later he buzzed me within an inch of my elbow. Where in I proceeded to haul and follow the fool fairly close until he escaped.

Solution:
1) Do not open your mouth when tired from cycling. Nothing good will come of it.
2) Do not volunteer to be a cycling advocacy representative. You aren't the best we have to offer. :p
3) For God's sake by a mirror and start using hand signals!
4) Breathe!
5) Ponder taking the whole lane the entire length of this street.

At least that provided me with one heck of a incentive to ride very fast for the next 10 miles until I cooled down.

I do not understand how other cyclists can actually have an intelligent conversation with fools like this.

...not that I wasn't being an idiot.

Generally, the most difficult thing to do is to "take the high road", and not get into arguments like that, but you have obvously pointed that out. You won't accomplish anything, really.

That being said, seeing through the haze of rage to get a plate # may be good, should you choose to enter into this form of contention again. What if he had hit you post argument? No matter how much of a horse's rear you may have been with your temper, attempted homicide with a 3 ton lethal weapon is obviously NOT the appropriate answer for wielder of said weapon. That was close!

I agree, you were being an idiot. But entertaining.:D

In the future, try not to anger someone 3000# heavier than you.

Well, I never said I didn't have a temper. :p

Anyhow I had his plate number but forgot it and then moved on with my life (sort of). Needed to air my (and his) stupidity on BF to put it to rest.

Whoever stated Denver is cycling tolerant is full of it. Of course, I don't exactly help things when I act like this.

You represented bicyclists poorly that day, but you already know that. If it helps any, most motorists are crappier to each other on a daily basis than your little hissy fit, so dont worry about. Be smarter next time, be couteous, think less is more when speaking to motorist.

IMO there's almost no point in speaking to a motorist who is too lazy or apathetic to try to avoid hitting you when you're riding. You're not going to change their opinion or behavior. However, a visit from the local sheriff's dept representative may yield positive results.

It's easy to lose your temper when someone blatantly demonstrates a total disregard for your safety. So dont try to talk to them, just get their plate number and report it to law enforcement. Thats their job.

Pick your battles carefully too. I only go after blatant, potentially lethal drivers who have demonstrated a clearly illegal manuever, and usually in a habitual manner. Pretty much something thats cut and dried, that a law officer is going to be more willing to act upon.

I used to try to "work it out myself" with motorists, and its proven to be a waste of time. I get good results using the sheriffs dept.

Right after he said that he "almost hit you back there", you should have replied with something like "well that could have cost your insurance company several thousand dollars" or thereabouts. You are after all in sue happy America and getting hit by an unnecessarily large vehicle is definately grounds for a suit.

Or option 2 - do not say a word and look straight ahead :D

I saw a sign today in a shop that resonated: "When you lose your temper, you lose your intelligence." Been there, done that. It took me a while to realize that two people both trying to educate the other by screaming through the window of a car are just going to get irritated at each other.

Think of the positive side: once the heat of the moment was over, your reaction was regret and introspection. It's possible the motorist felt the same way and right now is sitting at his computer googling local cycling law and safe riding practice, and that the end result is his attitude changes. We can dream can't we?

it's tough isn't it.

I was riding home the other night and there is this one section where the road I take splits to the left so I must take the whole right lane from the last traffic light, signal my intention to go left and then go left. I move very quickly here ( the whole maneuver takes less than 10 seconds) and end up leaving plenty of room for anyone going to the right to simply pass me on the right. Most nights drivers are completely cooperative and almost appreciative of my assertiveness since they clearly know where I am going and which direction I am intending to go. But every once in a while some jerk absolutely, steadfastly wishes to pass me on the left in order to take the right because they feel I have slowed them down by taking the lane for the very few seconds necessary to take the lane and go left.

It's amazing how ticked off they can be as they do this. The other night, after a particularly grueling day (a scaffold fell outside my building killing two construction workers and a passerby), this car whips around me on my left and narrowly misses my front wheel as it jerks back into the right lane to take the right split. Needless to say I was not in the best of moods and with little tolerance for near misses and the fragility of life my hand shot up so fast with one finger pointed skyward and surrounded by fist that it took all my effort to transform it into an unnecessary adjustment of my helmet as the driver jammed on his brakes as he looked in his rearview mirror.

Part of me so wanted him to see I'd flipped him off and I could have vented some really ugly venom in his direction and even loved shoving my fist through his face if necessary but it's so much better to let it go. So much better. The world has enough people killing each other for stupid, pathetically petty things I don't need to add one more.

i can't help laughing. of course We Don't Approve, but i bet the conversation went nothing like what he had planned in his head when he rolled down that window.

I ride on the right edge of the road when it is practical. Never been right hooked, though. When that happens, I'll probably change my tune.

I generally keep my temper in check most of the time. However, twice a year I tend to loose it and this would be one of those times.
I detest loosing my temper since the end result is my IQ dropping 120% until I reach the level of a babbling buffoon. :p
Ah well. I will take preventative measures to keep this from happening again.
Maybe next time I will be the better man and walk away. I just hate capitulating an argument or my rights to the road. Maybe in this situation pulling up further would have been in order. Guess I will never know.