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-   -   Condescending things people say (https://www.bikeforums.net/commuting/201522-condescending-things-people-say.html)

JohnBrooking 06-05-06 08:53 PM

Well, bhchdh, he only says it to me.

oboeguy 06-05-06 09:00 PM


Originally Posted by slvoid
The way I ride.. my coworkers mean it when they say "ride safe", which is often preceeded with "for the love of god."

I've seen you ride in light traffic... it boggles the mind to think of heavy traffic. Your co-workers know you well, it appears. :D

Old Dirt Hill 06-05-06 09:02 PM


Originally Posted by golgotha
do you always ride with a microphone? That's uncanny.

I too am impressed.

Flak 06-05-06 09:33 PM


Originally Posted by JohnBrooking
To clarify: I don't take offense. But he says it almost every night, so it's getting to be like water dripping. And he does tend to be a little paternalistic in other ways, too, so that's probably a contributing factor. The reason it bugs me, I think, is the implication that what I'm doing is so much less safe than, say, driving, hence my "you, too".

The "drive friendly" comeback is nice, but probably not applicable, because he already does. He's actually really a nice guy, it's just this slight paternalistic streak... :)

But I didn't mean for this thread to be all about me - what else do you hear that bugs YOU?

Wow, some really nice guy who sincerely wishes you well...and that pisses you off.

You're weird.

vrkelley 06-05-06 09:38 PM


Originally Posted by slvoid
The way I ride.. my coworkers mean it when they say "ride safe", which is often preceeded with "for the love of god."

:p they know you're riding habit ay? :lol: so I'll join 'em

Slvoid Ride Safe - For the Love of God

donnamb 06-05-06 09:40 PM

I have a very Catholic coworker who was worried about me and praying for my safety. Thanks to the information from another thread, I was able to steer her in the praying direction of Our Lady of Ghisallo. It never hurts to be precise.

vrkelley 06-05-06 09:46 PM

Your boss rocks. Alot of bosses just don't give a rip...as long as you're mak'n money for the company. And even in the software biz now days...bosses are too busy trying to export the job to notice much - well they should be notic'n that their own hide is next ---> but then that's a foo topic ;)

tokolosh 06-05-06 09:55 PM


Originally Posted by unkchunk
people are genuinely concerned about me [snip] What throws me is that I can't figure out why.

will . . . act my age. . . will . . . not . . . try to be funny . . .

here in canada people say 'take care' about 12 times a day. same kind of principle, i guess, but i think your boss' habit would start bugging me too. maybe it's just a verbal tic of the kind that can sometimes be addressed by saying 'listen, could you do me a favour ' (pleasantly) if a nice occasion presents.

i don't usually attract enough interest to get patronised. but i admit i'm still kind of irked from last week's encounter with the fellow baseball mom at the supermarket. i think my bike and i can get 1.5kg of corn pops home by ourselves without aid from an suv.

chephy 06-05-06 10:16 PM


Originally Posted by tokolosh
i think my bike and i can get 1.5kg of corn pops home by ourselves without aid from an suv.

:roflmao: You tried not to be funny? Man, you failed BADLY! :D

SingingSabre 06-06-06 01:37 AM


Originally Posted by tokolosh
but i admit i'm still kind of irked from last week's encounter with the fellow baseball mom at the supermarket. i think my bike and i can get 1.5kg of corn pops home by ourselves without aid from an suv.

Relax...she probably thought you were a roadie!


OP, my boss, mom, dad, etc. always tell me to drive, or ride, safely. I tell my clients and friends to drive safe. I think it doesn't show distrust or condescension, but rather concern and caring. I would just say "Thanks, I will. Drive carefully! See you tomorrow."

MikeR 06-06-06 02:39 AM

I got “Well, you have more energy than me!” from a couple of people. Thing is it doesn’t sound like a complement when they say it. It’s like “I have a more tiring life so I can’t do that”.

Last time someone said that I answered with “I don’t ride bike because I have more energy. I have more energy because I ride bike.” That made her think, then in the evening this same person said “Be CAREFUL out there!” She knows that my commute is a small safe rural road.

I really think that they need a rationalization about why they do not exercise. They are not saying this stuff for me but for themselves.

oboeguy 06-06-06 06:31 AM


Originally Posted by MikeR
I got “Well, you have more energy than me!” from a couple of people. Thing is it doesn’t sound like a complement when they say it. It’s like “I have a more tiring life so I can’t do that”.

Try working in the financial sector in NYC and you'll get that attitude. I got a bad vibe along the lines of maybe I'm not serious enough if I ride my bike to work. Boo!

ItsJustMe 06-06-06 07:01 AM

I generally respond "have a safe drive home"
One woman said it every time she saw me in gear heading out, so finally one day when she said it on the stairs, I said "be careful on those stairs; walking on stairs is 4 times more dangerous than riding a bike in traffic." She still says "have a good night" or "good ride home" but she doesn't say "safe" any more.

FLBandit 06-06-06 10:50 AM

My boss tells me to be careful all the time. Of course he took me to the ER once when I piled up my motorcycle! Hmmm, he also saw the road-rash when I fell on the roadie, and the back brace when I flipped the dirt-bike (I've worked here a long time) Maybe I should be careful!!! Anytime someone says be careful to me I just say thanks and ride on. The way I look at it, the more positive vibes the better!

TexasGuy 06-06-06 11:42 AM


Originally Posted by JohnBrooking
Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver? :mad:

I've started replying "You too." :D

May your life wither away from you 20 years before your time for fretting about this.

TeflonJohn 06-06-06 11:54 AM

I've never really thought of this stuff untill now, but the people at work all say "have a GOOD ride home" I guess that's because most of them are ridders as well. Just depends on your perspective I guess.

DataJunkie 06-06-06 12:28 PM

The only thing that comes to mind happened at a company lunch at a nice italian joint.
I was sitting at a table of 6. One female coworker looked at me and asked someting along the lines of "are you ever going to stop riding a bike". As in "grow up and by a car".
I was so taken aback that all I could respond with was "I know 80 year olds who bike. So, no"
Another lady I work with is an avid cyclist and tri athlete. She took care of the first coworker and ripped her a new on. Too bad I can't remember what she said.

unkchunk 06-06-06 01:33 PM


But I didn't mean for this thread to be all about me - what else do you hear that bugs YOU?
Oh that. Okay, it's not something that is said. What gets me is the "WTF" hand and arm gesture. Fore arms bent out to the sides and palms up flat like they are balancing trays. And their eye brows go up, can't forget that part. It's like they are saying "You can't ride on the road you crazy fool". I'll give them the crazy fool part, but the fact that I am currently riding in the road disproves their original thesis. But they will continue with the pose like it was some great undefeatable argument. It makes we want to ride over and beat the crap out of them with some sort of 18th century agricultural implement. It's gota be a an old rusty farm tool, nothing else will do. It's a real catch-22 because there aren't many lying around in a handy accessible sort of way. I can handle getting flipped with the bird, but that WFT thing... Hey, maybe I'll just stop, pull out my camera, take their picture, ride off and let them figure it out. Yeah, maybe that. I don't know, I gotta come up with something.

vrkelley 06-06-06 03:00 PM


Originally Posted by vrkelley
And even in the software biz now days...bosses are too busy trying to export the job to notice much - well they should be notic'n that their own hide is next ---> but then that's a foo topic ;)

Err how prophetic of me...our merger occurred this mornning 5AM...

rec-cyclist 06-06-06 03:51 PM

I've recently been called cheap for riding my bicycle instead of driving. But I have been called worse

crtreedude 06-06-06 05:49 PM

One thing that has made my life a lot more enjoyable is to choose to take what most people say in the best way possible. After all, it isn't pleasant for me to be upset - and it isn't pleasant for them either. I will also feel like a total fool if they weren't meaning anything by it.

Face it - people rarely are thinking of you. They don't understand cycling - they think for sure you are running the gauntlet on the way home. (and maybe you are!). They feel safe inside that huge SUV - up until the time it rolls over of course.

If the person is a bit, shall we say, chubby - you might point out that the lack of excercise is the really dangerous thing. One kind remark deserves another...

Flak 06-06-06 07:30 PM

Wow, you'd make fun of someone overweight because they wished you a safe ride home? I think alot of you guys are looking for an insult when one isnt present. Even if there is one, who cares?

I never understood people that get bothered by the small stuff. Its much easier not to worry about what "they" say than you might think.

urbanknight 06-06-06 08:50 PM

So glad I'm a teacher. All my coworkers are humanitarian types and would support and appreciate such choices. I am, however, concerned about what my 7th and 8th grade students would say if I started riding to work in bike shorts. I'll just have to try to keep grease off of my slacks if I get to star commuting next year (I hope).

mobilemail 06-06-06 09:05 PM

In the past I've responded with, "Thanks, look out for me!". My thought is that the recipient of my comment might be more cautious with the next bicyclist (s)he encounters, thinking it might be me, a person of acquaintance. Can't hurt, right?

MikeR 06-07-06 02:34 AM


Originally Posted by mobilemail
In the past I've responded with, "Thanks, look out for me!". My thought is that the recipient of my comment might be more cautious with the next bicyclist (s)he encounters, thinking it might be me, a person of acquaintance. Can't hurt, right?

Great point! I'll do that next time.


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