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Suckah-punched by the Scofflaw

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Old 07-13-06, 08:48 AM
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Suckah-punched by the Scofflaw

You know, I was just NOT in the mood today . . . . It's hot out, I'm late for work. I'm chugging up the last hill, taking it easy so as not to work up a sweat right before wipe-off. Then. Out of nowhere. "He" comes flying by. That's right, the unmistakely kit of the Scofflaw, green gym shorts, orange safety vest, white 70's style commuter helmet, helmet mirror. No mistaking. "NO freaking way" I muttered audibly. There was no catching him. He darted left in front of a car. Then in pure Scofflaw-style, darted right to pass the next car turning left from the stop sign. Then he turned left! "What kind of F*()&*()& move was that" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I was pissed. He probably didn't hear me because for all the trappings of a safe cyclist, this dude is wearing EARPHONES! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, I am pissed off. I am checking my shoulder on every hill from now on. GA.
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Old 07-13-06, 08:54 AM
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There's only one knave...
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Old 07-13-06, 08:58 AM
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I'm having trouble understanding why you care what this guy does. You commute your way. He'll commute his way. I could see it if he crashed into you or interfered with your cadence or path in some way.
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Old 07-13-06, 09:10 AM
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Squeaks: I think you're missing the irony in the original post. If you look closely, you'll see it right there, under a lattice of self-loathing, frustration, and impotent jealousy at those green gym shorts. BillH, I feel your pain.
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Old 07-13-06, 09:21 AM
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LOL...pure gold!
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Old 07-13-06, 09:23 AM
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He was wearing a helmet. What's the problem?
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Old 07-13-06, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Bklyn
Squeaks: I think you're missing the irony in the original post. If you look closely, you'll see it right there, under a lattice of self-loathing, frustration, and impotent jealousy at those green gym shorts. BillH, I feel your pain.
Oh, I get it. A little slow on the uptake here.

Lucky for me I have no competition on my commute. One time I rode in with a guy I work with who lives 3 miles out farther on the same road I ride. We just talked as we rode and I showed him my route. I think he took it easy because he was riding with me. I had my 35 pound low geared SS MTB. He was riding a really nice light weight road bike with many gears and clipless pedals.
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Old 07-13-06, 01:29 PM
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I'd really like to have some of those green gym shorts. Maybe a bunch of us could wear them and form a club!!!
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Old 07-13-06, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by FLBandit
I'd really like to have some of those green gym shorts. Maybe a bunch of us could wear them and form a club!!!
Do we need a name with no vowels for the club or can we just get the shorts autographed by Fred Scofflaw.
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Old 07-13-06, 01:54 PM
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You know I've taken to wearing some nylon gym shorts instead of righteous cycling shorts on some of my shorter rides. And I have to say, I find that feeling the breeze where I normally don't is quite enjoyable and invigorating.

DanO
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Old 07-13-06, 02:14 PM
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Are these the cotton shorts with the white piping? I'm seeing Larry Byrd on a creaky old hybrid....
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Old 07-13-06, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by DanO220
You know I've taken to wearing some nylon gym shorts instead of righteous cycling shorts on some of my shorter rides. And I have to say, I find that feeling the breeze where I normally don't is quite enjoyable and invigorating.

DanO

That is waaaay too much information.
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Old 07-13-06, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted by WiseOwl
That is waaaay too much information.
But it is inspiration for me to try cycling in some old gym shorts which I have. A brilliant idea!

The Scofflaw will have his day...right in front of you. Just be sure to give him enough space to go down without taking yourself down. Maybe you should see if you can force him into the dreaded door zone...
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Old 07-13-06, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by billh
You know, I was just NOT in the mood today . . . . It's hot out, I'm late for work. I'm chugging up the last hill, taking it easy so as not to work up a sweat right before wipe-off. Then. Out of nowhere. "He" comes flying by. That's right, the unmistakely kit of the Scofflaw, green gym shorts, orange safety vest, white 70's style commuter helmet, helmet mirror. No mistaking. "NO freaking way" I muttered audibly. There was no catching him. He darted left in front of a car. Then in pure Scofflaw-style, darted right to pass the next car turning left from the stop sign. Then he turned left! "What kind of F*()&*()& move was that" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I was pissed. He probably didn't hear me because for all the trappings of a safe cyclist, this dude is wearing EARPHONES! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, I am pissed off. I am checking my shoulder on every hill from now on. GA.
Maybe he really, really had to take a dump.

Maybe he called his wife at home and another man picked up the phone.

Maybe he was going after the license # of a driver that nearly killed him.

People with safety vests, mirrors and helmets generally have a good reason for doing seemingly stupid things.
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Old 07-13-06, 03:56 PM
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huhu...he said scofflaw that's like a big word or something
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Old 07-13-06, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by DanO220
You know I've taken to wearing some nylon gym shorts instead of righteous cycling shorts on some of my shorter rides. And I have to say, I find that feeling the breeze where I normally don't is quite enjoyable and invigorating.
I've found that if I weight the pleated pockets of my cargo shorts just right, it holds the legs open for maximum cooling.
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Old 07-13-06, 05:31 PM
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I'm lost, not getting the jokes here. Somebody help?
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Old 07-13-06, 09:21 PM
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shakeNbake, do a search for "scofflaw" and read the past posts. You'll get it.
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Old 07-14-06, 06:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Bikes-N-Drums
Maybe he really, really had to take a dump.

Maybe he called his wife at home and another man picked up the phone.

Maybe he was going after the license # of a driver that nearly killed him.

People with safety vests, mirrors and helmets generally have a good reason for doing seemingly stupid things.
LMAO!!!
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Old 07-14-06, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Bklyn
Squeaks: I think you're missing the irony in the original post. If you look closely, you'll see it right there, under a lattice of self-loathing, frustration, and impotent jealousy at those green gym shorts. BillH, I feel your pain.
. . . finally, someone UNDERSTANDS me! THANK you!

Did I make it clear the Scofflaw did not stop at the sign but weaved left around one car, then right around the stopped car, then without stopping turned left as the stopped car turned left! The unmitigated GALL!

I shouldered-checked all the way to work this morning, even on the straights, straining for a glimpse of that geeky anachronism. No such luck. As it is written, "He will come like a thief in the night" . . . like a terrorist in Tennessee . . . like an earthquake in St Louis. No warning. When I least expect it. He's just . . . "there". Always haunting me. My shadow. My alter-ego. My dark side. Yes, Scofflaw. We shall meet again.
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Old 07-14-06, 09:33 AM
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There still is only one knave...
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Old 07-14-06, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by billh
. . . finally, someone UNDERSTANDS me! THANK you!

Did I make it clear the Scofflaw did not stop at the sign but weaved left around one car, then right around the stopped car, then without stopping turned left as the stopped car turned left! The unmitigated GALL!

I shouldered-checked all the way to work this morning, even on the straights, straining for a glimpse of that geeky anachronism. No such luck. As it is written, "He will come like a thief in the night" . . . like a terrorist in Tennessee . . . like an earthquake in St Louis. No warning. When I least expect it. He's just . . . "there". Always haunting me. My shadow. My alter-ego. My dark side. Yes, Scofflaw. We shall meet again.
Remember the scene in Breaky Away where the Italian cyclist jambs his frame pump in the kid's wheel. Not that I'm suggesting you do that...

I can see a Spy vs Spy rivalry developing. I wouldn't litter his path with tacs, though. You'll be coming by the same spot tomorrow.
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Old 07-14-06, 10:11 AM
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I'm waiting for the dramatic, fight-club-style twist, where billh looks at his own reflection in a passing window, and realizes that he IS the Scofflaw, and the Scofflaw is him.

Maybe not.
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Old 07-14-06, 10:16 AM
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This is precious!!! Very, very funny.

A co-worker rides in a lot (no, he's not a scofflaw), like I do, and we take the same route for most of the way. Anyhow, I rarely see him, seeing as how we both go the same way and come at different times. But... one day back in May, I turned atop a hill and went right for a few yards, to remove my coat and pack it away under ths shade of a big fat tree. We were only a mile from work, and I didn't want to sweat too bad. Anyhow, as I'm getting back on my bike this co-worker passes me. I quickly catch up to him and he's surprised as heck to see me. He's got a roadie and I've got a commuter bike, with upright handlebars. We just talked and rode in together--yet I know this guy is thinking--how did he catch me??? Am I that slow?

One day he'll pass me and he'll have his mojo back--but in the meantime it is kind of fun ;o)).
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Old 07-14-06, 10:22 AM
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I finally get it!
Wow, that's nuts!
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