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I'm a Terrorist!

Old 07-20-01, 07:49 AM
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AlphaGeek
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I'm a Terrorist!

I've done it! I'm a gasp! Squirrel Terrorist!

I was gleefully spinning to work, and out comes Old Furry Tail, zig-zagging in all directions. (Why is it those varmits can't walk a straight line?) Within inches of my wheel he zipped off to the bushes, fearing for his life!

Well, I thought little of it...except, what bizzare creatures! :confused: Then I got to work, stopped by the breakroom, and who should I see, but Old Furry Tail ! Man, he must be fast to get there before me!!!

But gee, I must have finally driven him to drink! There he was smashed, with his little head on the table, snookered!

Suicidal Squirrel (Are there any other kinds???)


I'm a gasp! Squirrel Terrorist!
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Old 07-20-01, 09:04 AM
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The search for meaning in our lives is lost for some squirrels. This is tragic and beautiful tale.

Jonathan
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Old 07-20-01, 10:06 AM
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Don't be too hard on yourself, AlphaGeek. That squirrel probably already had plenty of problems, and your bicycle wheel just acted as the catalyst to spur definitive action. I'm pushing for free Internet access for troubled squirrels (which means virtually all of them), so they can get helpful psychological counseling on the Web. But it's a long, uphill struggle.
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Old 07-20-01, 10:10 AM
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JonR, I haven't seen your sense of hunor in a long time. It's great that it is back.
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Old 07-20-01, 10:22 AM
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JonR
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Originally posted by fubar5
JonR, I haven't seen your sense of hunor in a long time. It's great that it is back.
I didn't know it was gone, but I'll take your word for it, 'cause I respect you, Matt!
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Old 07-20-01, 01:49 PM
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Squirrels:

They don't taste anything like chicken.

I used to have a cat (Spam) who would sleep on the backyard picnic table, seemingly oblivious to the squirrels scampering around, beneath, and even sometimes on top of him. They'd even swipe some of the dry cat food from his plate. I swear, he'd rarely even flinch at them, preferring instead to sleep as deeply as week old roadkill.

One day I came home from work, pedaled past the picnic table on my way to the bike shed... and found five bodyless squirrel tails on it, like popsicle sticks. Spam was on the back porch, washing and grooming himself.

He was just biding his time, like the shark in Jaws.
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Old 07-20-01, 06:04 PM
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I refuse to feel guilty about close encounters of the wildlife kind anymore. When I'm up in the mountains, kangaroos have a habit of charging out of thick bush across the road right in front of a descending cyclist. I've never hit one (yet!) but it can be scary sometimes. Maybe that's why I like climbing better

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Old 07-20-01, 06:40 PM
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You are truly on the edge, Alpha G. (too funny!)

Chris, I saw kangaroos (the small kind, maybe wallabies?) bounding across a grassy field, startled by our presence. The grass was very tall, so all I could see were their heads popping up and down above the grass as they scampered away...

I would rather hit a squirrel, if I could choose. Those varmints could cause a nasty tumble, as big as they are!

As for Stumon's cat, well, what master wouldn't be well-pleased with (as in my case) the uneaten half of a squirrel left on the doorstep as a love-gift? Hm?

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Old 07-20-01, 06:58 PM
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Originally posted by Pete Clark
Chris, I saw kangaroos (the small kind, maybe wallabies?) bounding across a grassy field, startled by our presence. The grass was very tall, so all I could see were their heads popping up and down above the grass as they scampered away...
The smaller ones were probably wallabies. The kangaroos would cause a bit of a wreck, which may be why I'm motivated to avoid them. Of course, cyclists also tend to upset magpies from time to time and they can be a bit scary (I had one chase me for 5km last spring). They go for the head and neck.

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Old 07-20-01, 07:01 PM
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Originally posted by Chris L
Of course, cyclists also tend to upset magpies from time to time...They go for the head and neck.
S**T!

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Old 07-27-01, 05:03 PM
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Originally posted by JonR
I'm pushing for free Internet access for troubled squirrels
Give them the gift of fire. Even eons later, their mythologies will mention you respectfully.
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Old 07-27-01, 08:09 PM
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Originally posted by bipedal

Give them the gift of fire. Even eons later, their mythologies will mention you respectfully.
I wonder what "Prometheus" is in Squirrel...

Welcome to the Bike Forums. Lots of squirrels--I mean great people, CYCLISTS, really--here.
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Old 07-28-01, 04:12 AM
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Mention of all this wildlife , I have just come in from a morning run , came across this Badger at the side of the road , obviously been hit by a motor vehicle.
It was not dead! I stopped and tried to approach . but Badgers are very aggresive (with sharp teeth)
It must have been injured in the rear as it was dragging its back legs . I felt so helpless to assist the poor animal. I mean hell what can a guy on a bike do to help .
The ride home the rest of the way and since has been soured by thoughts of what I could have done to help the poor creature. IM MORITFIED .
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