"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
- Emiliano Zapata

I don't believe I asked him to defy his parents, but offered a possible solution. All you have offered is the opposite of what others have...to cower like a dog rather than to stand up like a man.

It's all about choices, consequences, and priorities. Instead of whining, think.

22 yo here, and quite reliant on my parents. University ain't cheap. I might just might be making enough $$ over the summer to go independent, I'm not interested.
So, yeah, my parents do have different views on some stuff than I do and forbid my some stuff. I've defied them in some (tiny) matters, but for the most part, I obey. I'm waiting to move out and being able to do stuff the way I like it...

if they aren't giving you the gas money they promised, RIDE YOUR BIKE. If they can't hold to their end of the bargain why should you?

Can't say I blame you. That's what parents are for. I was very dependent on my parents, mainly putting me through college.

I will appreciate that for the rest of my life. But I think it's an unwritten civic duty to provide for your child. If you can't then don't have any.

HUH? The only duty parents have is to prepare you for adulthood. Once you reach legal age, you are on your own. Sure, we might help you out, but that help is directly proportional to your own effort. If you want to be a worthless bum and think mommy and daddy have some duty to support you or bail you out of trouble...think again.

Maybe I didn't make myself clear, but I was talking about from the time you are born until your 18. Anything after that you best be greatful!

Suggestions:

Ask Dad to go with you on a bike ride. Ride with him to your job on a Saturday or Sunday (when traffic is light)--see what he says.

If he won't, then tell then you'd like to try the route to work. It isn't that you'll ride it daily but you want to get a feel for it and see if it's what you really think it is--a great way to get excersize and a nice commute. Also, take Chip's suggestion and look for the best route.

I'm jealous. I've got an 18 year old who thinks it's somewhat embarrasing to ride a bike instead of a car.

My wife's folks found out about her motorcycle when they called her house in college and room-mate said 'oh she's not here she's out riding her motorcycle'

Chipcom...you clearly weren't hugged enough as a child.

Maybe his parents are still preparing him for adulthood and they don't think he is there yet. Just because someone turns 18, it doesn't mean they are automatically an intelligent adult...I believe Hollywood has given us plenty of examples not to follow.

Anyways, this tread is becoming quite Freudian...I will once again suggest the OP should pick the battles he really wants to fight, this might not be one of them.

I hear ya, my 17yr old used to love to ride, even did centuries and stuff with us. Now he whines everytime I make him ride it to & from work. It's not my fault he couldn't keep his grades at Cs and stay out of trouble, which is why I haven't taken him for his driver's license or helped him buy a car. You wanna be an adult, don't ***** when you are held to adult standards. :D

mcsteve, clearly you don't know your butt from a road apple...please show me where I made any comment whatsoever concerning the OP's adulthood? I didn't think so...thanks for playing, you might try being a bit more careful with your assumptions, Mr. Freud.

McSteve--to become an intelligent adult is not about following parents rules and picking battles as you see fit.

My 18 year old is going to college in the fall. Then, he can choose to stay up all night. He could come and go as he pleases. He can behave just like Brittany Spears, who I assume you're talking about. I'm well aware of this. So it's my obligation to flex my house rules and give him leeway to make his own mistakes and become responsible. I trust I've raised him well. My point is now is not the time to teach and rein him in. Instead, I'm doing the picking and choosing of battles.

Push a little, Hickeydog, and work it out. Prepare. Your parents will come around.:)

Hey Chip...not sure where all of your hostility is coming from. You had no problem insulting me, but if you read and comprehend my post (something you may not be capable of) you would not have responded in that way.

You never commented about the OP's adulthood and I never claimed you did. What you did say was it is the parents' job to prepare their child for adulthood. I merely stated this might be their current intent.

All you have done is suggest the OP not listen to his parents, grow up and get some balls, stand up for himself and pretty much just tell his parents to go f themselves. I'm wondering if there is a happy middle ground...therefore, I suggested choosing the battles this particular OP would like to fight.

Remember, Chip, Reading is Fundamental. Maybe they didn't teach you that in Wussyville Junior High.

You obviously haven't met my dog. Most men would cower before her, and she once separated an intruder from a size 14 shoe he was wearing. Cops caught the guy 5 min later, but that's another story...

While I'm not a fan of "FU" style defiance, it is OK to explore limits, and I think that acknowledging the parents' concerns and trying to find a way through this is the way to go. It's not what you do that's so important, but your motivation for doing it. My experience that if your motives are good, history will normally be kind to your decisions, even if they lead to short term trouble.

HickeyDog, you want to think twice before bucking your folks, but sometimes it is the right thing to do. If you go against your folks' wishes, be prepared to face the consequences and don't whine if your risk doesn't pay off. You will someday encounter similar situations in employment. Some people complain that they're trapped and can't do anything. Others realize that they have plenty of options and then choose the best course of action based on the costs/benefits of doing one thing or the other.

If you decide to ride, do it smart, and be as safe as you can. Be visible, use a mirror, communicate with motorists, and talk to your folks about how you manage the risks they are worried about.

A number of us ride on roads that most people consider suicidal. The fact of the matter is these roads can be really dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. However, if you know how to work with what's out there, it's quite safe.

some quick thoughts

First, and foremost, just don't defy your parents and throw down with them. Doubt if any good would ever come of it. You will lose more than you gain. Don't know your parents, but can assure you that if any kid of mine decided at 18 to be defiant and go their own way, then so be it. I'd be happy to cut ties, let them out on their own, and be out of any obligation to provide them support. think long and hard before you take any of the half a*** advice others have dished out.

Second, remember, their sandbox so it's their rules. Don't like the rules, tough. Two choices. Go your own way and make your own rules, or accept their support and the obligations that come with it. Nothing in between.

Try to talk with your parents about the virtues of cycling, healthy lifestyle, save the planet, responsibility, etc. I really think you are on high ground and can win them over in part. In actuality, you are probably at greater risk in that vehicle than you are on the street on a bicyle. There are some accident statistics out there, and you can google for them to make your case. Be respectful and acknowledge their concern comes out of love and protectiveness, not necessarily a desire to prevent you from doing something you like.

Wait three months and then take your bike to college and ride all you want. Good luck

As a parent, part of me says as long as you're living in their house, they make the rules.

As a 45 yr. old, married with 2 kids, retired Marine who still gets unsolicited advice from his parents, if they didn't cough up the promised gas money up front, I would run the car until it ran completely slam out of gas, and leave it where it dies. If they want it they can go get it, I have a bike.

I'm good at playing other people's silly games.

You apparently didn't get enough hugs as a kid either, jughead. :D

All I have done is what?

Take your own advice and learn to read, numbnutz.

I would agree that it would not be very beneficial at all to defy your parents. Remember, they are doing this because they care. You "slap them in the face", so to speak, and stuff will happen.

In my family, I state categorically that I am a "benevolent dictator." Each of my children has one vote; I have 30,000,000.

Remember what happens to people who mutiny; if that was my family,and there was a blatant mutiny, well, the gloves would come off and the reasoning would cease. Reason with your parents and try to meet them half way...Then prove to them that you can do it, and reason some more. Play the game---do not pull any stunts---that, in my eyes, will only make it worse.

Tim C.

Another solution. Give your parents a gas card application to fill out to get a gas card for you. If Exxon/Mobil sends them the bill you don't need to nag for your gas money.

If you still want to ride...note when the bill comes and drop hints when it arrives. ("You know dad, if I rode my bike to work you wouldn't have to pay for that bill.")

Well, thanks for all the tips. I think I may try something similar to the "take dad along for the ride." I'll just borrow his video camera and set it on the dash facing out. Record the trip both ways and then show him.

For those of you who know the area, I would be riding early (6:30-7:30 AM) and starting home around 4:30, so I would miss the worst of rush hour, but still be on the fringes.

I've gotten so fed up with the freeway (the 271-480 merge/interchange makes no sense whatsoever) that I have taken to driving the route I would cycle. I can see the reasoning behind their concern, but they are being a little over protective.

'Nother ironic thing: My mom let me apply for West Point (fully qualified, still rejected, maybe next year), but won't let me ride. So I can get shot in Iraq but can't ride......hmmmm.....

And Chimp, I would be north of the 8/271 construction by the time I got on 8.

I'll try working on them some more tonight.Maybe give them a Power Point Presentation...

Ooops, you and McSteve seem to have hijacked the thread and left the OP behind somewhere. Kool yer jets please, or take it to A&S. ;)

If you think the route is safe, maybe go along it and take pictures, give them a virtual ride from the bicycle perspective.

You're doing well at working it out.

Don't forget that your folks' reaction is largely an emotional one. It's good to be calm and rational, but you're likely to be disappointed if you think you can prove anything. If you want to appeal to reason, I'd take the angle that you've really given this a lot of thought, know what you're doing, and need them to trust your judgment sometimes.

I do not think that failing to follow parents' wishes automatically qualifies as rebellion. The fact that you've even given this much consideration to the problem is strong evidence that you're not the type to act out just for the heck of it. Your parents will already know this about you, and unless you're reading signals that you'd upset them for real (as opposed to just ticking them off for awhile), I would not discount riding anyway while trying to address their concerns the best you can.

You're a better kid than I was -- I would have just ridden, and explained that everything was OK. I should add I've paid a price more than once for attempting to secure permission after the fact.

I have to confess that from 3rd grade on, that I pretty much ignored the limits my parents set for me. But that also made me VERY careful to avoid trouble and ride safely. I knew that to get caught would have been big trouble. That's the basis of "Pedaled too far".

:roflmao2: Yes, I have two motorcycles as well as two bicycles. I hid my motorcycle riding from my parents for about a year. They hardly batted an eyelash when they found out in spite of years and years of them telling me motorcycles were a horrible, dangerous thing...Now the bike, that's truly a death-trap.

37 yo father of an 8 and 6 year old here.

They, especially the 8 year-old, want to ride, and ride in the street...with traffic. They see me do it every day and think it is (reasonably) normal. Honestly, in the right traffic with me there, my 8 year-old has done fine on a camping trip and one spin around the neighborhood, but I'm still a nervous wreck.

I have fantasies about going on bike trips all over the place with them, but it is very hard to know when is the right time to introduce "advanced riding in traffic." Few more years....like 10.

All this is to say, I understand the anxiety your parents have. I'd keep working with them. Don't whine, don't defy, reason, and definitely call them on it if they are not keeping up their end of the deal.

If you REALLY want to be on your own (and think the military might be a good option), feel free to join Uncle Sam's Misguided Children (USMC :roflmao2: - I kill myself :roflmao2:).... Its what I did a month and a half after HS graduation. Of course, if you think you have no freedom now......:twitchy:

Just thinking out loud......

You're actually right in the middle of the rush hour...and you're gonna hit traffic related to the 271/8 construction on Olde 8 bout the time you get to Highland and all the way up until you merge back on to 8.

As far as alternative routes that might make your parents feel better (not that you have to take them), you could take the Hike and Bike all the way up to Alexander, then either take Dunham up to Rockside, and pick up 8 from there, or take Egbert to 8. You could even take the towpath clear up to Harvard. Just some options to look at...there's more than one way to skin a cat and parents like those MUPs! ;)