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-   -   My boyfriend is a wimp (https://www.bikeforums.net/commuting/441386-my-boyfriend-wimp.html)

cg1985 07-15-08 12:43 PM


Originally Posted by edbikebabe (Post 7064983)
Is there a women's club near you? Or a group that goes at a more relaxed pace? Getting discouraged will make it harder for her to stay interested. Or do more "destination" rides where she sets the pace & you just follow.

There are only two biking clubs as far as we can tell in this area, Bike Ypsi, which was only started last year, and we do rides every sunday. And the Ann Arbor Touring Society, which does some longer rides.

There may be more clubs, but they are hard to find.

We go on a lot of short rides here and there. It'll be better when she gets her own bike. Since the bike she is riding is such highly geared, I let her ride mine once, but she didn't like it. Mine has a super light Aluminum Frame, So you feel the vibrations and bumps more. She rides on an old steel road frame, so it feels better to her. vOv

kellyjdrummer 07-15-08 12:50 PM


Originally Posted by maddyfish (Post 7064817)
You have missed the obvious, GO AT HER PACE, and go as far as she wants. And don't whine about going slow, or complain about how it stinks that you are missing a training ride or whatever

She will never keep up with it if you take her out and drop her every time.

This goes for men or women, all new riders, rie with them like they are children. Go slow, talk to them, make it fun, make it easy, especially in the beginning. And make sure they are on a working, decent, comfortable bike.

+100 on that one.

Bookman 07-15-08 01:06 PM


Originally Posted by recumelectric (Post 7062210)
I love him because he's a really sweet and intelligent guy (aside from the bike issue). He just won't go anywhere over 1/4 mile without a car, though. Tomorrow, I have to drive him back from his car mechanic drop-off, which is less than 2 miles away. There's a city bus that runs down the street, and there are places to pedal.


I dropped my car off for service this morning with my bike on the rack. I rode an EZ 6 miles home in a half-hour including traffic stops. This is the only way to drop a car off, believe me.

As to getting your boyfriend motivated to ride, I can empathize. My wife and I bought our bikes together 3 months ago. I've ridden 560 miles, and she's ridden 54.

recumelectric 07-15-08 01:31 PM


Originally Posted by jbabic (Post 7062552)
+1

Be careful when trying to change someone.

Oh, he ain't changin'! I've been in this relationship for over 10 years, and we're well past believing that either one of us could change the other.

...Although I am enjoying reading about peoples' ideas for messing with him. It's fun, in theory, at least.

recumelectric 07-15-08 01:42 PM


Originally Posted by jyossarian (Post 7063081)
Tell him to HTFU cuz when the apocalypse comes, if he can't keep up w/ you, you won't think twice about leaving him behind for the zombies to snack on.

What is "HTFU"? (Is it "Hurry the F--- Up?")

edbikebabe 07-15-08 01:45 PM


Originally Posted by recumelectric (Post 7065443)
What is "HTFU"? (Is it "Hurry the F--- Up?")

Harden the F--- Up

Tabor 07-15-08 01:49 PM

My car is in the shop today, so I rode my bike 20.8mi to work (for the second day in a row). Tell him to stop whining or you will come date me ;-).

Lambo 07-15-08 01:50 PM

A 2 mile walk is what, maybe 30-35 minutes? I understand you're in the desert and it may be hot, but still...

HardyWeinberg 07-15-08 01:53 PM


Originally Posted by Hydrated (Post 7063299)
Plus the zombies will prolly go for the targets with more meat on their bones. Thin down and get faster! :D

But zombies eat brains, and I was just reading somewhere that aerobic exercise is good for your brain. Too much biking, maybe too yummy to zombies. Although I guess then you have that incentive to bike away from them even faster.

evblazer 07-15-08 01:53 PM


Originally Posted by cg1985 (Post 7064931)
Part of the problem is she's riding an EXTREMELY highly geared single speed bike. It's her brother in law's bike. He's the same height she is, so the fit is pretty close. But she just gets tired. She is getting her own bike built by her dad, but wont likely be ready for a little while.

I try to go at a much more relaxed pace, I try to let her lead, but I often times get ahead of her, (usually because we ride side by side, and when a car comes, I speed up to get in front of her.)

I'm sure this is dependent on the situation but as far as I can recall I always drop back when I'm riding side by side with my wife when the car is coming from the rear. If the car is coming towards us it hasn't usually been neccessary to move or much of an issue.
A) Puts her in front and in control of the speed
B) Puts me in the rear since I have a more noticable self and ride.
C) Puts me in the rear between her and said car
D) Puts her in my field of vision instead of me in hers :thumb:

Long ago she got a BikeE which is a slow compact long wheel based recumbent and that bike was slooooow. I just couldnt' ride with her that well on my commuter bike so since I planned on riding with her a long time I went out and found a BikeE of my own. It was much easier to ride with her on the same type of bike. If you both had fixed gears perhaps you could keep an easy even pace and get some fixed gear training (spin) in at the same time?

HardyWeinberg 07-15-08 01:57 PM


Originally Posted by evblazer (Post 7063792)
If you really want to embarrass him borrow/rent a tandem and pick him up :o

I mean it could work or he might just call a cab, or his mother, for a ride.


Or an xtracycle/big dummy so he doesn't have to pedal:


http://forums.teamestrogen.com/attac...1&d=1179109010

But seriously, riding my wife's bike makes me miserable. It is interesting that we use the same seat and mirror settings in the car, never have to adjust when either of us gets in, but our bikes are very different setups.

PaulH 07-15-08 02:26 PM

My wife got me a bike for my birthday about fifteen years ago, and it just sat in the garage for years. I never rode it, because what was the point in riding it? Not everyone wants to ride for the sake of riding.

Four years later, when I had a job where parking spots were difficult to find and the way to work was always gridlocked during rush hour, that bike suddenly had a mission. Now, I ride every workday, and I sometimes even ride for the sake of riding.

Maybe you should find a mission.

Paul

zeytoun 07-15-08 03:04 PM


Maybe you should find a mission.
Remember the Monty Python, where everyone was Superman, and the bike repair guy was the superhero?

RubenX 07-15-08 03:18 PM

I've been married for 13 years. My wife was the the female version of your boyfriend. Look up my thread on foo "Family member lack of activity and health issues" to get an idea about your quite possible future with this guy.

annc 07-15-08 03:24 PM


Originally Posted by RubenX (Post 7066126)
I've been married for 13 years. My wife was the the female version of your boyfriend. Look up my thread on foo "Family member lack of activity and health issues" to get an idea about your quite possible future with this guy.

Weird. The search entire post option does not include the title. Anyways, here's the link

BA Commuter 07-15-08 04:05 PM

Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Brangelina whining also!

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c1...loody-nose.jpg

devildogmech 07-15-08 04:14 PM

Your BF should read some Heinlien

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

-Robert A. Heinlein

Why build a bicycle isn't in there, I don't know :D

nemo 07-15-08 04:23 PM


Originally Posted by unkchunk (Post 7062254)
Plan #1 - Take the TV remote and place it somewhere on the MUP. When he asks, tell him where it is and that he should go get it. Every day place it 20 yards farther away.

:roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2:
too funny dude

recumelectric 07-15-08 04:57 PM


Originally Posted by RubenX (Post 7066126)
I've been married for 13 years. My wife was the the female version of your boyfriend. Look up my thread on foo "Family member lack of activity and health issues" to get an idea about your quite possible future with this guy.

I read some of the thread, and it sounds like your wife could be seriously depressed. It also sounds like she resents you fussing over her health. (She's deliberately scheduling Dr. Appointments so you can't come.) I've been on her side of the equation, too, by the way. Years ago, I had some big, buff boyfriend who liked working out and spent a great deal of time informing me of my health and fitness shortcomings. As time went on with him, I actually gained more weight and became less active. Within 6 months of us splitting up, I lost about 15 lbs., and I never went on a diet or deliberately worked out. I just got more active because I was feeling better, in general. Oh, and my job delivering pizzas helped, too. Lots of running when taking pizzas from building to vehicle, etc.

So, the moral to my long tale here is that I will not nag my boyfriend about this. He's already got a mother to do that for him. Ultimately, the decision to change one's habits comes from within and can be unknowingly sabatoged by those who think they are helping. Not to mention the fact that he tolerates my many shortcomings, as well.

...Of course, that doesn't stop me from making fun of him on this forum. ;)

uke 07-15-08 05:02 PM


Originally Posted by recumelectric (Post 7066691)
So, the moral to my long tale here is that I will not nag my boyfriend about this. He's already got a mother to do that for him. Ultimately, the decision to change one's habits comes from within and can be unknowingly sabatoged by those who think they are helping. Not to mention the fact that he tolerates my many shortcomings, as well.

Wise thoughts here. I'd do well to remember them when trying to change those around me.

hxzero 07-15-08 05:36 PM


Originally Posted by HardyWeinberg (Post 7065540)
Or an xtracycle/big dummy so he doesn't have to pedal:


http://forums.teamestrogen.com/attac...1&d=1179109010

But seriously, riding my wife's bike makes me miserable. It is interesting that we use the same seat and mirror settings in the car, never have to adjust when either of us gets in, but our bikes are very different setups.

that picture is AWESOME. especially the dog.

Tabor 07-15-08 05:44 PM


Originally Posted by recumelectric (Post 7066691)
So, the moral to my long tale here is that I will not nag my boyfriend about this. He's already got a mother to do that for him. Ultimately, the decision to change one's habits comes from within and can be unknowingly sabatoged by those who think they are helping. Not to mention the fact that he tolerates my many shortcomings, as well.

I agree 100%, but that shouldn't include you schofering him around.

crhilton 07-15-08 05:47 PM


Originally Posted by unkchunk (Post 7062254)
Plan #2 - Go to Home Depot and pick up a bunch of those paint chip sample things. Tell him you want to spend the day talking about his feelings on these paint chips match different items in the house. This is how most guys got started riding.

+1

If that one doesn't work out it's time for an upgrade. Ahem.

crhilton 07-15-08 05:49 PM


Originally Posted by HardyWeinberg (Post 7065540)
Or an xtracycle/big dummy so he doesn't have to pedal:


http://forums.teamestrogen.com/attac...1&d=1179109010

But seriously, riding my wife's bike makes me miserable. It is interesting that we use the same seat and mirror settings in the car, never have to adjust when either of us gets in, but our bikes are very different setups.

That picture should be surly's marketing campaign for that frame. That's the only time I've seen one and not thought "that thing looks stupid."

No offense to anyone who rides one, I'm obviously a bit obsessed with the aesthetic aspect of bicycles.

HardyWeinberg 07-15-08 05:53 PM

I think a BD is the solution to my 2-child toting problem, 7 yr old is too big for trailer, 3.5 yr old is too small for trail-a-bike. Just park'em both on the back deck of a big dummy. That's what I'm thinking.


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