You cr@pped your pants?
 

I realized I forgot my pants as I was getting ready to take a shower after my morning commute to the office. Ok, its 7am, Target opens at 8am, I can just stay in my cube, and, assuming no one comes to see me, I can sneak out without furrowing anyone’s brows, go to Target, buy some pants, finish getting ready, and be sitting in my desk, being productive, by 8;30 am. It was very important to me that no one became aware of my blunder. First of all, because the office is full of jokers, second of all, I just don’t want to deal with the attitude that maybe I would be better off if I just drove to work.

7:50 am, I am out the door and on my way to Target. I start thinking; maybe I should let someone know that I will be right back, if anyone does go to my cube and my bike and I are absent, it may cause a bigger stir. So I call one of the project managers at the office.

Me: “Jim, I had to step out and go to Target, I need to buy a pair of pants. If anyone comes lookin for me just tell them I will be right back.”
Jim: “Ummm, OK.”

Target kicks ass. I explained my situation to the manager and included the fact that I didn’t have a lock since I typically leave my bike in my cube. I asked her if I can bring my bike with me into the store. She said, in a very welcoming voice, “Of course, please come in.”

8:30am. Finished getting ready and was sitting at my desk working, thinking, “You sly dog, pulled it off without anyone bearing witness to your bare legs.”

Then, from behind “Did you cr@p your pants?” bellowed Jim.

“No, I simply forgot them. Why don’t you shut your trap and keep the cr@p from spewing out.” I countered. But it was too late, the damage was done.

From cube B, “What happened, did you have Mexican for dinner?”

Cube C, “Guess those cycling diapers you wear didn’t do their job.” (Ok, I made that last one up, but that’s what I would have said had I heard the conversation).

In any case, the damage was done, Jim executed his revenge. Revenge served to me because I was delinquent with the money I owed him for the Girl Scout cookies he was hocking at the office for his little girl. So let this be a lesson to you all, pay for those damn GS cookies.

Jim got my 8 bucks…. But it’s not over.

:roflmao2:

and on a serious note: why did you wait to pay the GS********** :twitchy: I'd rather owe the mafia or the feds (o wait, I do....they are printing money so maybe they won't notice :innocent:)

Next time, call one of the other project managers and say, " I had to step out and go to Target, I need to buy a pair of pants for Jim. He just cr@pped his pants and asked me to help him out. If anyone comes lookin for me just tell them I will be right back."

Problem solved.

:lol::lol::innocent::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2:

thanks for the laugh and advice!

You work with 12 year olds? :p

everyone has at least one 12yr old in their office depending on the day...just reality.

OP, if it ever happens again just say you did crap you pants after you sat in his desk chair and noticed the tranny porn folder on his desktop. Should even you right out.

Here's a nasty little revenge. Get a screenshot of his desktop, set it as his desktop background, and then turn off his Icon Display. :p

1. If you are on time and doing your work, F-'em. Otherwise, your life is your own.

2. If I sprang for every strong-arm attempt by my colleagues, I wouldn't be able to afford a bicycle tube. F-'em.

3. If someone doesn't like my shorts, my answer is, "I wear 'em nice an' tight to make it more convenient in the event someone needs to KISS MY ASS!" Short answer: F-'em.

Am I popular around the office? F-'em. :D

That is cruel.

Not I. All disillusioned 40-60 year olds with several 30 somethings thrown in.

Woah, and I thought it was mean to cancel someone's subscription to "New York Review of Books"!

I didn't even go there with the thead title. I read it as CROPPED.
I thought they were making fun of your knickers. lol

Just one? I have an office full of them. :(

Freakin' magnificent! :roflmao2:

I hounded our office rep for weeks with the line "I want my two boxes!" Figure I already rode a bike in.

LMFAO... Ive already done that. not to Jim but one of our engineers last year. It drove him crazy..... good times

Yes, thank God. One of the reasons I accepted the offer to work with this firm is because the staff and management have great senses of humor and aren't so stuffy. Makes for a really good work environment.

Thats loser talk.

Another reason to keep spares of all the essentials at work.

Why did you not just tell them that you have "an errand to run?"

I forgot my shirt once, and just wore my safety yellow jersey all day. No one said anything about it.

Implicit in my comments is the idea that what I do is not predicated on what other people think.

If that makes me a loser, then I lose--and happily so.

1. Always keep a spare pair of pants and a pair of underwear at work. Always. If you need to wash them, take them to a dry cleaner that is within WALKING distance from work, if possible.

2. How do you turn off Icon Display in Windows XP? I remember being able to do it in 98 and NT, but a quick scan of where I thought the setting would be turned up nothing?

Back at the other building, back in the day when I had my office, back when I had more cabinetry than a furniture outlet, I would commute almost every day. I always had several sets of clothes with a couple pairs of shoes stashed in one or another cubby at work.

Now, I sit all out in the open, have exactly one itsy-bitsy little filing cabinet, and find myself vapor locked, unable to commute before working out all of the new logistics. I think I am experiencing a mental disorder :twitchy:

Shart-tastic!

1. Right-click on your desktop.
2. Point to Arrange Icons
3. Click on "Show Desktop Icons" which will remove the check mark.

Sorry Mike. I stand corrected. I believe your particular dialect of Loser Talk is actually known as Wussy. :thumb: