Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Commuting
Reload this Page >

What are your best one-liner come-backs?

Commuting Bicycle commuting is easier than you think, before you know it, you'll be hooked. Learn the tips, hints, equipment, safety requirements for safely riding your bike to work.

What are your best one-liner come-backs?

Old 09-04-09, 06:49 PM
  #51  
turtlewoman
Senior Member
 
turtlewoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Santa Fe
Posts: 380

Bikes: Peugeot something 1975

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by I_bRAD View Post
Once I was at an Issac Hayes concert with an aisle seat and a woman asked me "Is this 'U'?" I responded "This is so me, baby..."
That is so cool. How did you think of something so cool, so fast. I think I love you.
turtlewoman is offline  
Old 09-04-09, 07:09 PM
  #52  
coldfeet
Senior Member
 
coldfeet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,118
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I had 4 youngsters in a civic ( 20 somethings is young, right? ) shout in unison " get a car!"

The traffic was rolling slow enough that I could give them all a good look , particularly their waistlines, then said " I think you should get on bikes!"
coldfeet is offline  
Old 09-04-09, 08:52 PM
  #53  
julianpowell
ding ding
 
julianpowell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: new jersey via richmond, va
Posts: 39

Bikes: jamis citizen 2, huffy cruiser

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by MikeR View Post
I tried that once and it did NOT work!

Guy tried to beat the crap out of me.
ha! le mot juste!
julianpowell is offline  
Old 09-04-09, 09:38 PM
  #54  
mredison
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: madison, wi
Posts: 51

Bikes: '73 schwinn speedster, motobecane phantom cross

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Cold Stare, no words. Being a big dude helps, though.
mredison is offline  
Old 09-04-09, 10:11 PM
  #55  
DX-MAN
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I'm usually pretty direct.

"Get on the sidewalk!" isn't one I hear much of -- one time, from an off-duty cop; I told him, loudly, "Same right to the road as you!" When he repeated himself later, so did I, a bit more colorfully; for which he threatened to jail me. He got a chewing from the Chief, after I wrote a nasty-gram with a CC for the mayor.

Most of the time, I hear, "Get off the road!" To which I usually reply, "Get off your mama!" But as they speed off when they say their piece, they rarely hear me.
DX-MAN is offline  
Old 09-04-09, 10:16 PM
  #56  
UprightJoe
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I don't remember who it was but somebody here used to yell "Jesus loves you!" whenever somebody gave them **** from a car. I thought that was a brilliant way to flummox somebody. How do you respond to that?
UprightJoe is offline  
Old 09-04-09, 11:23 PM
  #57  
Eutychus
Senior Member
 
Eutychus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 51
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I've got 4 years and 18,000 miles of biking 16 miles a day to work and 16 home, and people here in Portland, OR, are incredibly considerate (for the most part). I can remember only 2 or 3 times when a snappy come-back would have been needed, and they were pretty mild. I just smile and wave. I ALWAYS wave and mouth "Thank you" when they stop for me as the R2T crosses a street. And they almost always do. Of course, Portland is the most bicycle-friendly city in America.
Eutychus is offline  
Old 09-05-09, 12:12 AM
  #58  
wunderkind
Pro Paper Plane Pilot
 
wunderkind's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,645
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
"I like it when you talk dirty to me...."
wunderkind is offline  
Old 09-05-09, 02:39 PM
  #59  
crispy010
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 369

Bikes: too many to list

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Motorist: "Get off the road" or "Get on the sidewalk"

Me: "Get off the road!" Usually throws 'em for a loop.

My mouth usually isn't the quickest part of me.

If I catch them at a stoplight after they've done something stupid I'll beat on the window (amazing how many people will roll it down, don't they know that's dangerous?) and I'll say "What the f**k were you thinking? Are you really that stupid?"
crispy010 is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 08:42 AM
  #60  
noglider 
aka Tom Reingold
 
noglider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: West Village, New York City
Posts: 37,135

Bikes: 1962 Rudge Sports, 1971 Raleigh Super Course, 1971 Raleigh Pro Track, 1973 Raleigh Twenty, 1974 Raleigh International, 1975 Viscount Fixie, 1982 McLean, 1996 Lemond (Ti), 2002 Burley Zydeco tandem

Mentioned: 419 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5358 Post(s)
Liked 77 Times in 60 Posts
Originally Posted by CCrew View Post
Nope, sorry, I was born here. As were my parents and their parents.
I disagree, but even so, I feel you cannot antagonize and influence at the same time. It makes no sense to me to resent immigrants when you look at how the USA and Canada were built.
__________________
Tom Reingold, tom@noglider.com
New York City and High Falls, NY
Blogs: The Experienced Cyclist; noglider's ride blog

“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments.” — Elizabeth West, US author

Please email me rather than PM'ing me. Thanks.
noglider is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 09:55 AM
  #61  
hairyman
cyclocommuter
 
hairyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brunswick, ME
Posts: 195

Bikes: L.L. Bean Evolution hybrid, Jazz Voltage rigid mtb

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Respond with something that doesn't make any sense:


Motorist: "Get outta my way!"
You: "Mmm! I'd love some shepherd's pie!"

Motorist: "Get on the sidewalk!"
You: "Me too! Mötley Crüe's my all-time favorite, though."
hairyman is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 10:22 AM
  #62  
capejohn
Senior Member
 
capejohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Fairhaven, Massachusetts
Posts: 1,826

Bikes: Novara Randonee, Felt Z45, Scott Sub 40, Marin Belvedere Commuter

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by cyclefreaksix View Post
I He just gave the peace sign and yelled,"J***s loves you man". I liked it so much I've used it several times. Really tends to completely throw them off their game. If that doesn't work, I'll ask them to pull over so we can discuss things further.
The J**us insult usually works well.
capejohn is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 10:38 AM
  #63  
MikeM21
Senior Member
 
MikeM21's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: No. Va.
Posts: 287

Bikes: '13 Storck Aero, '04 C50, '04 Merlin Magia, '97 Stumpjumper

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by noglider View Post
I disagree, but even so, I feel you cannot antagonize and influence at the same time. It makes no sense to me to resent immigrants when you look at how the USA and Canada were built.
Who said anything about resenting immigrants? And are you saying that you disagree that CC and his parents and grandparents were born here? Do you have some insight into his family history that he may not?

MM
__________________
There are no tailwinds. There are headwinds and days when I'm awesome!

Last edited by MikeM21; 09-06-09 at 01:20 PM.
MikeM21 is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 01:19 PM
  #64  
Luddite
Mrs. DataJunkie
 
Luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,527

Bikes: Asama "Luddite" and Kuwahara MTB from the 90s

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Middle finger salute, failing that "**** you" or "**** off" or my favourite "Eat ****"

I've busted out with a "Go **** yourself" a time or two as well. Did I mention I'm a girl?
Luddite is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 02:41 PM
  #65  
DX-MAN
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Lud, you're my kinda woman! I bet you're not afraid to break a nail, either, are you?

j/k, cancel the restraining order...............
DX-MAN is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 02:43 PM
  #66  
Luddite
Mrs. DataJunkie
 
Luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,527

Bikes: Asama "Luddite" and Kuwahara MTB from the 90s

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I don't give a crap about my fingernails, nope. I'm low maintenance but not a dirty hippie, I shave my armpits and legs. I never wear makeup, can't be arsed.
Luddite is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 02:54 PM
  #67  
mustang1
Senior Member
 
mustang1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: London, UK
Posts: 2,719

Bikes: 2006 road bike, 2012 cx bike, 2012 carbon rb, 2014 hardtail

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
cant u tell i'm vegetarian?
mustang1 is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 03:04 PM
  #68  
Luddite
Mrs. DataJunkie
 
Luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,527

Bikes: Asama "Luddite" and Kuwahara MTB from the 90s

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
^ You say that to cagers? That's a confusing statement.

I actually am a vegetarian, which makes it even weirder.
Luddite is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 05:36 PM
  #69  
RhinoBiker
Bikes fear me!
 
RhinoBiker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pendleton, SC
Posts: 40

Bikes: Specialize Sirrus Sport, Walmart crap

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Do I look like I'm "walking?"
RhinoBiker is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 05:45 PM
  #70  
rumatt
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
"Try reading the drivers manual, dumbass"
rumatt is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 05:51 PM
  #71  
Luddite
Mrs. DataJunkie
 
Luddite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,527

Bikes: Asama "Luddite" and Kuwahara MTB from the 90s

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I will one day say "where'd ya get yer driver's license, from a cracker jack box?!"
Luddite is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 06:14 PM
  #72  
CB HI
Cycle Year Round
 
CB HI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Honolulu, HI
Posts: 13,566
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1246 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
JAM: "Get on the sidewalk!"


cyclist: "Get on the freeway!"
CB HI is offline  
Old 09-06-09, 06:41 PM
  #73  
rainking63
Deluded...
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Old Lyme, CT
Posts: 51

Bikes: Jamis Trail XR

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Leaving work one night, a coworker in the parking lot saw me leaving on my bike. As he took a drag off of his 30th Marlboro of the day and adjusted his equator-sized belt to fit over his 350 pound frame, he snorted "You ride a bike home? Jeez, that's DANGEROUS."
I didn't really think a comeback was necessary, but I laughed for quite a long time and said, "No man, YOU'RE dangerous."
rainking63 is offline  
Old 09-07-09, 01:44 AM
  #74  
Treespeed
Warning:Mild Peril
 
Treespeed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Seattle Refugee in Los Angeles
Posts: 3,171

Bikes: Cilo, Surly Pacer, Kona Fire Mountain w/Bob Trailer, Scattante

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by anaheim flash View Post
my grandmother was comanche......
And about 10,000 years ago her ancestors were immigrants.
__________________
Non semper erit aestas.
Treespeed is offline  
Old 09-07-09, 01:53 AM
  #75  
Treespeed
Warning:Mild Peril
 
Treespeed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Seattle Refugee in Los Angeles
Posts: 3,171

Bikes: Cilo, Surly Pacer, Kona Fire Mountain w/Bob Trailer, Scattante

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by MikeM21 View Post
Who said anything about resenting immigrants? And are you saying that you disagree that CC and his parents and grandparents were born here? Do you have some insight into his family history that he may not?

MM
I don't know about resent, but you seemed to think it was a pretty good comeback to point out that this driver was from another country, what with his accent and everything. The driver was obviously wrong, but your bus back to your country retort was pretty lame. The only way your zinger works is if there is something inherently wrong with being an immigrant. It's about as witty as noticing a dumb driver has a rainbow flag bumper sticker and telling him to take a bus back to the bathhouse.
__________________
Non semper erit aestas.
Treespeed is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.