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Your favorite phrases for throwing at drivers?

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Your favorite phrases for throwing at drivers?

Old 09-24-09, 08:28 AM
  #26  
nelson249
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Originally Posted by AltheCyclist View Post
Flashing this usually ends the conversation...
Yeah, when the driver shoots you in self-defence. Cars make better gun platforms than bikes.
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Old 09-24-09, 08:48 AM
  #27  
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favorite words

"Thanks", "Share the road" and one of my favorites " I Like Chicken"
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Old 09-24-09, 09:08 AM
  #28  
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When I communted regularly while stationed in Wash D.C. I used to wear a hockey elbow pad on my left elbow. A quick downward motion will take off the passenger side mirror on most American cars and darn near any rice burnner. I only resorted to that if a guy put his cage in close enough proximity and was being aggressive. For those drivers who absent mindedly "wandered" over into the bike lane, I would just tap the passenger side glass with my padded elbow. Got a few priceless looks over the years with that move. Like they couldn't see the guy in a Day-Glo orange jearsey with reflective chevrons printed on the back.

These days I live in a more commuter friendly environment, but still have to occasionally start a sentence with, "Listen real close you freaking moron...."
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Old 09-24-09, 09:26 AM
  #29  
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Some nonsensical and completely off the wall to make them think your certifiably crazy. Look them straight in the eyes with your best crazy face and shout "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BAGELS!!!!"

Or the old stand by of a smile and a wave, unless they are stopped it’s unlikely they will hear you anyways.
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Old 09-24-09, 10:18 AM
  #30  
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I'll yell at motorists and call them an effing idiot or an effing dumbass if they cut me off or force me to hit my brakes. I almost never swear at pedestrians though, but I buzz them hard if they get in my way.
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Old 09-24-09, 11:13 AM
  #31  
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"No, YOU get on the sidewalk" !
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Old 09-24-09, 12:46 PM
  #32  
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" Back off, or I'll stick a glass rod up your ureathra, then whack your pee pee with a ball peen hammer!" Then I show them the glass rod.
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Old 09-24-09, 01:07 PM
  #33  
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Whatever I'd like to say to them, I just mutter it under my breath, because I have no hope whatsoever of influencing anyone in that situation.
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Old 09-24-09, 01:22 PM
  #34  
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*blows kisses*
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Old 09-26-09, 11:03 PM
  #35  
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true that! I usually try to avoid reacting in anyway. However I confess to flipping the finger at times. IT is usually best not to react. (safer)
 
Old 09-26-09, 11:42 PM
  #36  
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I just close my eyes and they just go away.
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Old 09-27-09, 12:15 AM
  #37  
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"Hey, I'm riding here"
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Old 09-27-09, 12:17 AM
  #38  
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"MOVE!" and "GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
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Old 09-27-09, 06:26 AM
  #39  
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"Hey, Tubby." Because they usually are.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:06 AM
  #40  
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It all depends on the situation, but when I get someone who obviously needs to chill out I like to ride up next to their window and start a one way conversation. If the person wants to share their opinion to me I show them two items;
1. My cell phone
2. My police badge
Then I follow it with a question, “would you like me to call an on duty officer so we can further the conversation about your aggressive behavior, or would you like to just simmer down and realize your being a dumba$$?
This usually works
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Old 09-27-09, 07:19 AM
  #41  
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ear buds, you see em but don't hear em. Then just smile and enjoy the ride.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:22 AM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by CFXMarauder View Post
Car pulled over at he first side street and a quite large man stepped out..
at that point, hold a hand behind your back as if you are ready to pull something out of your pocket. It may make them think twice. If you want to actually have a small tube of pepper spray back there, all the better. Living in griz country, I usually have a nice large can.
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Old 09-27-09, 07:35 AM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by daredevil View Post
at that point, hold a hand behind your back as if you are ready to pull something out of your pocket. It may make them think twice.
Or it may make them go for the weapon in their pocket.

A good corollary to "Don't carry it if you're not prepared to use it; don't use it if you're not prepared to kill" would seem to be "Don't threaten someone with a weapon that you're not actually carrying."
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Old 09-27-09, 07:42 AM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by lil brown bat View Post
Or it may make them go for the weapon in their pocket.
OK good point but I'm going to guess most people don't walk/ride around with guns. If some guy is approaching me, I probably could tell if he had a gun or not. Besides, am I not supposed to attempt to diffuse the situation and defend myself if someone comes after me? Of course I would probably try to ride away first if I could.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:15 AM
  #45  
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Originally Posted by DoB View Post
I almost never respond to the rare motorist encounters I have, but when pressed I have leaned on the catchy phrase "F**K OFF C**T!"

Now, that might seem extreme as a response to someone who told me to "Get on the sidewalk" but I was mostly responding to the previous 3/4 mile in which she leisurely followed me at 20 mph, ignoring the constant ease of passing on a one-way two lane road and simply laid on her horn.

After a few solid minutes of her horn blowing she earned it....even with her two kids in the car with her.
Probably my idiot cousin. Punch her in the face next time and scream BEEEEEEEEBBBBBBEBEBBB when you do it.

I got a couple J walkers near the College I pass that stepped out without looking by leaning in next to their ear and going "Boo!" as I slip past. Scares the crap out of them.

I try not to get in a cussing match with drivers and when they cant seem to pass I just let them sit back there and hope for a cop.

Last edited by Grim; 09-27-09 at 08:21 AM.
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Old 09-27-09, 08:19 AM
  #46  
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Originally Posted by daredevil View Post
OK good point but I'm going to guess most people don't walk/ride around with guns.
Do you think they don't know that too?
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Old 09-27-09, 08:35 AM
  #47  
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I learned some pretty horrible things in the army, it usually ends up coming out as a loud deep bellow with random curses interjected, swinging my ulock and chain also helps.

They always seem to honk their horn and buzz me going up one particular hill on my commute, I love the terrified look I see as I catch up with them at the stop sign over the top of the hill.

One of these days I'm going to scare somebody into an accident. Maybe I should be a little more careful in that respect.
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Old 09-27-09, 06:07 PM
  #48  
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I think lots of things, but with my luck I'd probably be popping-off at the Wing Commander's wife! Discretion is indeed the better part of valor... particularly when riding on base.
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Old 09-28-09, 08:15 AM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by fredgarvin7 View Post
" Back off, or I'll stick a glass rod up your ureathra, then whack your pee pee with a ball peen hammer!" Then I show them the glass rod.
Awesome! But you'd have to say this pretty quickly...
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Old 10-05-09, 11:28 PM
  #50  
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Unless I'm a particularly ornery mood, I go with the Smile & Wave, the Neutral Stare or the Finger Gun & Smile Gotcha.

If I'm in an ornery mood and I catch up to them at the next light, I enjoy a nice loud "Boo!" right in the driver's ear (or passenger's, depending on who foolishly yelled at me). Always followed with as good-hearted a smile and stare as I can muster. Used to do the same thing with an AirZounds, but something chewed a hole in its air tube last off-season and I haven't bothered to replace or repair.

I used to respond to "Get off the road!" or "Get on the sidewalk" with "Get out of the gene pool!" but I gave that up in favor of the above.

For some reason, I haven't gotten as much verbal stupidity from car drivers lately. For which I'm grateful.
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