AlmostTrick

Bestest reply so far! Thanks for the laugh Chip. You da man!

MNBikeguy

Actual Image of BF commuting forum poster:



Attempted Projected Image of BF commuting forum poster:



That's right babee..... kick some bike stealin punk ass! (cough..cough)

JPprivate

I probably just get in my car and run him over .... (afterward I can always say that I didn't see him).

Randochap

Flip the switch on the remote-control detonator on my keychain.

AltheCyclist

Just let him steal it and then collect the insurance money .... oh wait, that's my wife I'm thinking of....

dwilbur3

You can collect insurance if they steal your wife?

Randochap

Seriously though, I once heard a commotion at a gas station as I was driving by in my van. Then saw this guy riding off like a bat out of hell, with a woman screaming "He stole my bike!" I chased the guy for a couple of blocks 'til I was right on his tail. He finally dove off the bike toward the sidewalk and landed right on his face.

The ironic thing though, was the owner when she arrived on the scene assumed I was his accomplice, about to chuck the bike in the back of the van! It was hard to convince them as the bloodied perp had leaped back up, dove over a fence and escaped through a yard.

AltheCyclist

Minus the deductible

Grillparzer

It's a high, high deductible though.

colleen c

Yes! I also like that reply. Only thing I ponder is who's gonna clean the potty mess left from the thief when he poop on himself?

CB HI

Do not sell yourself short. From your other post, it sounds like you have been cycling for awhile. A lady who has been commute cycling regulary for over a year, will likely have much stronger legs than most men out there. Just learn to kick (especially with hard sole bike shoes on) and you have a mean weapon.

colleen c

More than likely so, but I rather not risk injuring my knee in the process and ruining my next ride. I think I"ll stick to asking "Bruno" to take care of business for me

pubb

And worth every penny.

exile

Like another poster mentioned most thiefs are cowards. Do your best to scare them off Colleen C. I can't speak for other posters but I'm not a computer/internet geek. I've dealt with some situations (very few) by the use of physical confrontation. I do try to avoid them as much as possible though.

HappyStuffing

There should be a law that says hurting bike thieves in any way, even if it leads to death - is permissible.

Subsequently, this means anytime of the day or night. I mean, they should never be able to sleep without fear. Bike thieves should go to bed fearing some cyclist will smash their bike over his face in his sleep. Hey, i would gladly ruin my bike for a good face smash.

"beater bike" comes to mind

lambo_vt

You're right, there should be a law that says I can kill somebody over my $200 bicycle. And my tv too! Look basically the government should let me kill a person but I don't want to have to join the military. I love to kill and I want to do it all the time, especially over things I have. I need to kill.

mikewille

You looking for any roommates? You want to come to my company Christmas party?

Sixty Fiver

I have the skills, experience, and training and even more important than this... have no problem inflicting massive amounts of pain and injury on people that deserve it.

But not over a bike... especially when the perp is probably gonna run when they are confronted verbally.

If the perp wanted to get confrontational and take the bike by force, then I might find a reason to pull that switch.

I am laughing at Clif's remark about "these keys"... thinking that the perp must have wet themselves when they saw how big a guy he is.

HappyStuffing

I specifically meant bike thieves and not just things i have. Furthmore, i'm speaking specifically of bike thieves , not just anybody that i feel like removing from Earth forever.

And are you suggesting that if i joined the military, they will put forth orders to enforce bicycle theft? Maybe even resulting in the deaths of bike thieves? Sweet!

irclean

My experience is that a loud "What the f**k do you think you're doing?" is a very effective theft deterrent. Most would-be thieves are already in a heightened state of anxiety during the attempted act and it's easy to startle them into flight. Faced with the possibility of actual violence, though, the sensible side of me says, "Walk away, it's just a bike." That being said the indignant side of me says, "Yeah, but it's my bike. It's go time!"

akohekohe

Take their picture then call 911. Even if they make off with your bike you will have a photo to show the police but most of the time I expect they will get out of there real fast. I keep a small camera in my bike bag but almost everyone has a cell phone with a built in camera these days so this is an option for almost everyone. I've never caught someone trying to steal my bike but I did use this tactic on someone who I saw trying to cut the lock on a bike they claimed was theirs. They left immediately once I got out my camera and I had a picture to show campus police.

The Aardvarks

I work on a college campus. On home game football Fridays the band marches through campus at 4:30. We were standing around waiting to watch the band go marching through when one of my car-free co-workers yells "thats my bike, thats my f***ing bike" and takes off running after this guy riding his bike, yelling at him. Luckily there are so many people around the guy couldn't ride to fast, so my friend was able to run up right beside him and grab the bike. The guy/college student said a friend let him borrow the bike and gave it up rather quickly. The funny thing is, the friend of mine who did this is also the audio guy in our department and he tape records everything. He had a small tape recorder in his pocket waiting to tape the band go by. It was taping the hole time and we could hear the entire exchange from the beginning. It provided lots of future entertainment.

seenoweevil

I wish I could do that, but I am not that nice a person. That story reads like something that could easily happen here in the states though. I don't think the person stealing my bike would be walking for a VERY long time. However, my anger issues would be in check for a while!

HappyStuffing

w00t! I like your thinking!

lil brown bat

They sure would be, because you'd be in prison.