What would you do if you caught someone trying to steal your bike?
 

We've had plenty of threads about how to not have your bike stolen, but let's say you get off of work one day and see someone going at your U-lock with a hacksaw, what do you do? Don't be shy, I know I've spent some time thinking about it, and I'm sure I'm not alone.

I'll admit, I've practiced my U-lock-fu. I'm pretty sure you could do some serious damage with one of those.

Well, they would most likely be in a kneeling position. So my knee to their back, if they are facing me bum rush, knee/foot to the face/neck/ribs/outside of the knee. My U-lock is always on the bike so, if they are trying to mess with it, I can't use it. Basically, I'd be VERY aggressive. I always have my Fenix LD20 on me, if its at night I guess I can try the strobe. hehe, or use the crowned head of it, on their head or other area of their body.

If you're really sick and the person doesn't see you as you sneak up on them, reach for their man hood (if its a man) and lift them off the ground holding onto that area. Then procced to kick a little sense into the gentleman.

Good times

Well seeing that it is winter right now, i tend to have my boots on all the time. Consequently, they are steel toe boots.

I would probably use those liberally. I have no sympathy whatsoever for bike thieves. None.

If the thief happens to recover from the injuries i produce on him/her (yes, i will kick "her" if she is stealing my bike, no sympathy), it's simply a shame he/she didn't die from them. If the thief gets away with my bike, i hope he gets run over by a car, no less. That would amuse me to no end.

I didn't hold back! Someone's gotta say it :)

I would put the boot to them, medium-style.

..
I'm not sure what I would do, I'm really not a very aggressive person and quite quiet in real life. Maybe try to attract a lot of attention to the guy.

I'm tall with big legs though, maybe I should just kick him.

. . . and then some.

I'm telling you, there really is a special place in hell for bike thieves. I'll even bus them down myself free of charge.

They'd be crouching down working on my u-lock.... they would not be getting back up any time soon. I wouldn't go for the head because I'm sure I'd kill them easily, but a couple in the kidney or groin then a whole bunch into the legs. There's a 99.9% chance that I'd be wearing my SPD hard soled shoes. They are very good for kicking, and I have 10+ years of tae-kwon-do training as well as quite a few cycling miles in these legs.

I caught a guy on my bike once, as I was coming out of the store. He wasn't alone but had a couple of friends. They weren't trying to steal my bike/trailer but were messing with it. I rushed him and got in a real good first punch to his head. He collapsed like a soggy biscuit and didn't even try to get back up. His buddies wanted nothing to do with me, maybe because I was channeling lucifer yelling at them in a gutteral voice how I was going to eat they livers (and their combined size probably wouldn't have filled my t-shirt :D)

I admit, I had a crowbar in my messenger bag for about a week (long story, and not nearly as interesting as it sounds) and I was kinda hoping for a chance to use it.

So, after locking your bike up, you carry around a u-lock with you?

I'd probably call the cops first. It's hard to judge a man's size when he is kneeling no matter how vulnerable he may be. I'd probably look for something to use as a weapon as well. However if he did get up and I think I could take him then I guess we'll see. Especially if he was going to take my bike.

Using a hacksaw you say? Hmm, I don't think I've ever shoved a hacksaw up somebody's ass...but if he's using that hacksaw to steal my bike I figure it would be a better outcome than having to go to the hospital with him to get my boot out of his ass. ;)

I was gonna say "apply U-lock liberally" but then I realized the U-lock is still on the bike.

Kick 'em in the nuts, for a start, at any rate.

It happened to me. By the time I saw a guy riding my bike out of a parking lot he was already too far away to do anything about it. But instead of taking off like a bullet, he stuck around, joy riding in big circles. I chased him down and made a flying tackle, making damn sure I landed on top of him. That was pretty much the end of it. I felt a little bad about it later because he looked like he was having such a good time.

Quite honestly, I would politely ask the thief to go and steal someone else's bike. I would then call the newspaper and tell them why I didn't do anythng else, and I would quote the current state of British law with this bloody bull5hit:
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standa...t-is-jailed.do

So no, I wouldn't do anything, I wouldn't chase the guy, I wouldn't beat he guy up, I would just ask, nice and politely, leave my bike alone. (really, and seriously).

I would do like a lot of Commuting posters and imagine that I'm really tough and pretend-fight the guy in my head while I peed my pants looking on from afar, fumbling with my phone to call 911. :o:rolleyes:

Me, personally I'd say "Nice bike, too bad it belongs to me and not you", then call the police while trying to prevent the thief from taking my bike. If the thief got a way, along with my bike, so be it, since if I used force like others have posted, it would cost me far more in legal fees to defend myself than the bike was worth.

I've had it happen twice. First time, I asked the guy what he was doing, and got the reply of "Uh, I lost my keys so I have to cut the lock." I just dangled my keyring and said "You mean, these keys?" This was pre-cellphone era, I didn't have any quick way to get the police, so the guy just left when it was apparent I didn't intend to do anything else.
Second time, I was just having a bad day in general. Came out to see a guy messing with my lock, so I clubbed him over the back of the head with my helmet.

Why stick around? If you handle it right you'll get the job done and be out of there in under a minute.

A lot would depend on the mood I'm in or where they're stealing the bike from. If it's out of my property then they could get shot. In a public place then it would more than likley be a verbal exchange and since I'm 26 years military I now how to sound very threatening. If it's just me and him, then I would let him get up and face me, if he wants to play then it's game on.

I had something like this in mind! :)


http://i37.tinypic.com/2hxvlvp.jpg

One of the stupidest things you can do is put yourself in a position where you will go to prison. Committing assault fits well within that definition. Run him off, call the cops, get over your Rambo fantasies and get on with your life.

My bikes are protected by Sig Sauer!

Can you define your version of "Handle it right"?, my imagination can be quite extensive at times.

First I'd put my headband on and gut him with my fillet knife.
Then I'd tear out his heart and eat it while standing over his dead body.
When the cops arrive, I'll say in a very incoherent nasally mumble... "He drew first blood."

http://images.usatoday.com/life/_pho...0/26/rambo.jpg

Bah.... I'd really pee in my pants while fumbling for my cell phone.

LOL

They just might have a buddy acting as a lookout so I don't know that attacking them is the smartest thing in the world. From a reasonably safe distance, I'd yell at them to get the F*ck away from my bike while calling 911. I'd maybe snap a few pictures for good measure.

If that wasn't enough to scare them off I'd have to consider how likely it is that a physical confrontation would go well for me.

Then I'd call 911 again.


Edit: Truth is it's hard to know what I'd do in a situation like that without having had it happen before. I once had a bizarre confrontation with a guy on a bike (of all things) while I was on foot. I'm not sure that he was quite all there mentally. He threatened to take my money but never actually tried to take it nor was I going to offer it to him. I just kept walking. Eventually he made a feeble attempt to shove me. I just stopped and glared at him and then he rode off.

I'm not to going to pretend that there was no fear involved but for whatever reason I wasn't afraid enough to feel truly threatened. Nor was I confident enough in the outcome to try to and attack him. So I chose neither fight nor flight.