baj32161

DC's Tony Kornheiser! Bashing cyclists and new lane
On cycling:

Kevin: Reading: "The center of Pennsylvania Avenue from the White House to the Capitol soon may be reserved for just two things: the president's inauguration and people riding bicycles. A pair of bike lanes are destined to grace the middle of one of the country's most fabled boulevards, an avenue that ranks as a destination with Broadway, Fifth Avenue, Hollywood Boulevard and Bourbon Street. The two lanes will be part of an expanding network of dedicated bicycle lanes in the District, soon to include L, I and Ninth streets NW and more of 15th Street NW. "
Tony Kornheiser: When I read about this early this morning, and I just assumed this would be one of those dedicated bike lanes...
Kevin: To the right
Other Dude: Like you get at the beach, just a little strip
TK: ...on the right hand side, where bicycles are free to go - maybe two by two, but mostly one by one.
Kevin: And they never use them
TK: And I'm fine with those. Then I heard on Channel 4 that these things were going to remove an entire lane of automobiles, which last time I looked the roads were made for automobiles, and that they were going to somehow be in the middle and not on the sides and we were somehow going to be dominated, as if this was Beijing, by hundreds of thousands of bicyclists. And I don't really care what they do on Pennsylvania Avenue, if they can't ride a car on that anyway, but how are they going to get the bikes down there? They're going to have to go through other streets. I think this is a terrible, terrible idea. I don't mind those one lanes, but you get in Rock Creek Park and 3 or 4 of these people start riding abreast, and I swear to you it's all you can do to not RUN THEM DOWN, like Wile Coyote's, run them over. Just stay on the right. Stay on the right. I'm happy to share the road with you, but by share the road what I mean is you have room on the right and I have room on the road. Get the hell out of my way. Am I wrong on this?
Woman: Here's the problem I have. I'll give you bike lanes if we open up Pennsylvania Avenue on one side of the White House and the other street behind...You add this and it's going to make it even worse worse.
OD: These chesty cyclists, I mean they take that right lane and they're already moving over to the middle.
TK: And they all wear...my God...with the little water bottle in the back and their stupid hats and their shiny shorts, they are the same disgusting poseurs that come out in the middle of a snow storm with cross country skiing on your block. Run them down. I mean, let them use the right I'm OK with that.
OD: Or they can ride on the top of the curb
TK: I don't take my car and ride on the sidewalk becaue I understand that's not for my car. Why do these people think that these roads were built for bicycles?
Kevin: Because they're crunchy granola, they just want us to live in a cleaner world.
TK: I know someone's going to hate me for this, am I wrong?
Woman: I'm all for people truly sharing the road. I'm all for people getting their exercise.
Kevin: They don't share it now.
TK: They don't share the road. They dominate the road. They dare you to run them down.
Kevin: Yes they do.
TK: And then when you do, they get angry. What is that about?
Kevin: If you honk, they slow down...in front of you
TK: And so you tap them. I'm not saying you kill them. I'm saying you tap them. Tap them once.
Kevin: Just a spill, not a fatal spill, but a little spill.
TK: If you're not rubbing, you're not racing right? So you pop them a little bit and see what happens.
Kevin: They're so annoying. This is a Fenty move. He's a big cyclist.
Woman: With his security detail of course.
TK: But again, why can't they just.. what's wrong with the little lane on the right. I don't drive in the little lane on the right.
Woman: Here's the argument they would make - because the little lane on the right is often covered up by cars that are parked at the wrong time of day and buses that have pulled into the path...
OD: Tell them to take Metro
TK: Really? Then they can veer out a little bit. My objection to them is when the ride in the middle of the road. They give you the finger. They do all the time. They think they own it. Because they think that you think that you own it. I don't think I own it. I own it. I have a car. I have a large powerful car compared to your stupid little bicycle.
OD: It seems a little discriminatory to me. What about unicyclists? Why can't they have a lane
TK. They can have the same lane on the right. Anything with less than four wheels, or three wheels...
Kevin: ...can use the right lane, if there is one. If there isn't one, take the Metro.
(Group makes fun of segways)
TK: so the whole city is going to be just for bicycles? I tell you, it's Beijing. It's going to be buses and bicycles. That's all there's going to be.
Kevin: There are plenty of paths. The Capitol Crescent Trail gets you to Georgetown and then you can take the Metro from there. Get on a bus.
TK: Yes. What is there problem?

Standalone 

kill kill kill!

good grief.

i like how they lump motorcycles in with the bicycle ghetto.

DallasSoxFan

There's a guy on my commute who I've seen on a big-wheeled unicycle.

CCrew

Shame it couldn't have stayed in A&S

AdamDZ

Yeah...

RogerB

Fine place for it.