BassNotBass

+1. Any legitimate individual would understand that they would have to fork over some form of collateral when being handed something of value. If I were test riding someone's $3,000 bike, I sure as hell wouldn't feel any ill will towards the seller if they asked me for my DL or whatever I brought to pay for the bike in the first place.

As for the "nature" vs "nurture" debate... genetics help determine the development of the brain however an individual can also change the brain and how it works by learning and growing. Psychological development isn't easy and it can be painful... it involves rewiring/reprogramming... accepting one's weaknesses and having the will and want to overcome them... it exposes vulnerabilities and is the reason why some people choose to take the easy way out and not develop psychologically.

bautieri

Now I don't feel quite so bad for thinking the same thing.

whitecat

Let him hand over the cash he brought with him (if he really wants to buy that bike). After all, if he flees then, at least you can consider it sold. I see that as a fair trade, if he doesn't like the bike he gets his money back, and you are pretty sure he wont run away with the bike. Driving license or something similar doesn't prove much, it might be fake and he could still ride away without you ever knowing who he really is.

whitecat

I would concur with you, if it were not for one little fact - it is scientifically and empirically proven that there are indeed hard, quantifiable differences from normal people to those that are hard wired for all sorts of immoral, deviant and criminal behaviors. So that is not a debate anymore where different opinions are voiced; it's a proven fact. It is hard for some people to grasp that concept; as it was for me, but in light of new scientific evidence, only conclusion is that some people are evil by their nature, that's simply how it is. As soon as I realized not everyone is good, life got better for me as I learned how to recognize those, and then avoid contact with such people. If you choose to see that and understand it, better for you.
https://tamagawariver.blogspot.com/20...-see-scan.html
https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6198704.stm

BassNotBass

I agree with you that there are such cases, especially with people who exhibit extremely deviant behavior. However not every criminal or person who exhibits anti-social behavior can be considered a "victim" of genetics. There are no absolutes, it's difficult to determine to what extents nature and nurture played in someone's development (or lack thereof) and I think it would be foolish to use "evidence" of certain cases or findings and apply it to all "abnormal" behavior. I'm not saying that people like serial killers didn't have significant differences from non-sociopaths in how their brain was wired... but all too often I see people with selfish tendencies and total disregard for others, who otherwise know right from wrong and have the ability to understand the concept of empathy, show indifference for how they treat others when they themselves wouldn't want to be treated that way... what I view as immaturity. As I said there are no absolutes. I think that in most cases the brain and behavior can be developed... but I certainly don't think that it applies to all individuals... just as a leopard is incapable of changing it's spots.

Artkansas 

Neither of the two studies you cited made any claims to behavior being hard-wired. One even admitted that there were no physical differences in the brains that were studied. They did discover big changes in how the brain was used, but they did not know how that came about. So nature vs nurture is still open. We are discovering that the genes are blueprints not the structure itself and that much can happen after conception. And much we don't understand.

RogerB

Nature vs nurture? The winner is...





...Both.

Sgt Skidmark

Thanks. That just made my day.

Seattle Forrest

Just a guess, but he might have asked you for your bike hoping you'd give it to him. As others have said, if only one in a thousand people is so timid that they'll comply instead of provoke a confrontation ... some people won't mind bothering 999 other people before they find their "mark."

But a better guess is about how the guy thought he was going to get away with it: bikes are fast! Every time I see a cyclist leave their bike outside a bathroom at a park, I always wonder what's going through their mind. If I wasn't already on my own bike, and had no morals, I could be 1/4 mile away by the time they finish peeing. The guy may have thought your girlfriend chasing him down to fight for your bike wasn't likely, and that the time it would take her to get off the bike, give it to you, you to get on, and then to chase him down on an ill-fitting bike would let him get away.

I try to never let my bike out of my sight (and unlocked) for even a split second when I'm out and about, for this very reason. And maybe that's not what this guy had in mind ... but still good to remember.

MNBiker

Regardless of what caused him to approach you like that, whether he was high or a criminal with an aberrantly developed brain, in all cases he was not dealing with you using the same kind of rules as you.

Pragmatically speaking, if you are out biking at midnight, whether in the supposed "safe" suburbs or somewhere else, I think your chances of meeting someone with criminal intent is higher than during earlier hours. Similar to what my dad told me about one's chances of meeting someone on the road who's been intoxicated going up dramatically at night (my dad was a truck driver).

So if you grant my assumption, it would be wise for us to be more careful then usual when out biking at night.

Rhodabike

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder explain a lot of petty criminals. Symtoms include a lack of ability to plan ahead and think in the future tense, inability to learn from experiences, and poor impulse control. These are the same people you see blowing the welfare check on groceries at 7-11 or Macs when a real grocery store is just a few blocks away.

destikon

Midnight?? Go to bed. I haven't had any experiences like that but I commute during business hours so the crazies aren't out yet. I reserve that time slot (midnight) for MW2.

Juha

But now you expect HIM to trust YOU. For all he knows, you could be one of those criminal individuals with faulty wiring? There must be a dozen ways for you to take his cash and leave him with a lemon.

The approach you describe only works as long as everyone else is less suspicious than you.

--J

TFS Jake

haha

Or possibly, "I can't ride this bike without my knees knocking me out."

nahh

just in the case of a $3k bike? I ask for something if i'm selling a $50 bike. I had a guy pull his car into my driveway and give me the keys for a walmart bike once, because he was being weird about the deal.

travelmama

The responses here are comical. OP, it appears to me that you got scared or hell bent for no reason. If someone asks you for something the answer should be "Yes" or "No" and that is all. When I am out riding my bike in shorts or a cycling skirt, I am approached by men who say the dumbest things and have been asked to give them a ride. I just ignore them and carry on. It is nothing of importance for me to get hot and bothered by so much that I have to post it on this forum. If it were so bad for you, why did you not contact the police and post the address of the bus stop to prevent another cyclist from being asked for his/her bike?

whitecat

I don't expect anything really. If he wants to try the bike, he can hand over the cash first. If he doesn't want it, he's free to walk away. So yes, I know full well how much integrity I have, but I can't say the same for someone I saw first time in my life when he came to take a look at the bike. I'm not overly concerned with what will prospective buyer think - in my experience, being too concerned of what others think of my actions often led to poor judgment and to me being ripped off. So from now on, I just don't give it too much attention. Situation is like this - I have something you want to buy, you can try it and do so under my terms, if you don't like them, nobody's stopping you from walking away. As far as I'm concerned my conscience is clean, as I know I won't rip nobody off. And that's all that counts.