blade740

I would never beat someone with a bike lock, but anyone who tries to steal a bike deserves a scare. Also, when I say "little kids" I mean that they were in the 14-16 range. Old enough to know better. How would you suggest I resolve such a situation?

And I've never seen the movie "Blade".

vol

If I were in that situation I would not go in the grocery store and leave the bike outside. I would worry the kids may flat my tires or do other damages.

As for the U-lock, it's good that it worked before you had to actually throw it at them. I wouldn't consider it a great weapon because once you have thrown it out, it can be picked up and thrown back at you.

Ira B

+1.

A Tarus PT-22 weighs a lot less than an extra U lock too.

AlmostTrick

Key word being "average". Never assume a persons age, how well they can fight, or what weapons they may or may not have on them. Also, once you raise a weapon or even your voice in any confrontation you have just put your aggressor on red alert. Surprise attack (or escape) is way more effective.

GriddleCakes

That's funny, buzzman, when I read the original post, I also went through the OP's post history. Ridiculous internet tough guy fantasy story, plus the nom-de-net of UrbanWarfare, mentions of "U-lock justice" in both his avatar and twice in his sig; it seemed to add up to the OP being some sort of blunt force trauma troll/gimmick poster.

After reading his post history, I'm calling gimmick. His posts are funny, in a 12 year old posturing on the internet sort of way. But you missed the best one, buzzman, his very first! Observe:

I don't know about this, Han Solo was pretty deadly with the old blaster. Just ask Greedo.

Yeah, my friends also looooved the seatbelt buckle on my Chrome messenger bag. Just push the release button and off if comes! I never assaulted anybody over it, though, friend or not. Note that this is the first instance of "U-lock justice" alluded to in the original post.

A paraphrasing so nice, you just gotta use it twice. And that was Teddy Roosevelt (sort of), by the way. Maybe someone should spend less time on their U-lock katas and more time on their American History.

Droppin' dope rhymes to blow y'all minds. Haters gonna whine but can't nothin' confine this U-lock justice. *beatboxes*

I'll admit it, I laughed. This is some funny stuff. UrbanWarfare, well done. This is undoubtably the single most awesome introductory post, ever.

Compared to this, the thread starter here tastes like stale seconds. Although that Batman and Robin parody was pretty sweet. Might've been the OP's ne plus ultra of U-lock justice fantasy, if he hadn't broken character and admitted that it was merely flight of fancy. Plus he loses a few internet points for failing to end a Batman related post with the obligatory "I'm the god-damned Batman!" Nice execution, but failed to stick the landing.

aley

Last week I saw a bunch of kindergartners on a field trip messing with my bike. I went running out, and it was obvious that their teacher was showing them how to pick my U-lock with a Bic pen. I whipped my spare chain out of my jersey pocket - I always carry an extra-long chain with me just in case, you know, so I can get the padlock on the end of it going supersonic speeds as I twirl it. A couple of sonic booms over their head made them scatter. Their teacher looked like she might take me on for scaring her class, so I was all worried until one of the mall cops came by on his Segway and hit the teacher between the eyes with an Orange Julius. She started crying and ran away, and since then the mall cop and I have been best buddies. He even let me use his iPhone to make this post.

How'd I do?

Fizzaly

u-lock justice, that is now my favorite phrase.

buzzman

You got me good! Still laughing...

More! I want more!

CB HI

You live in New York, you should know that you do not throw the lock, you hold the rounded end and use the weighted part like a club to repeatedly bash their head in.

buzzman

My suggestion :

blade740

Should I go with a rack-mounted sheath or just wear the sword on my back?

bhop

OP.. where in L.A. are you? I rarely get harassed.. you mention you do daily.. just curious.

aley

Rack mount gets the weight off your back, which is better for longer commutes. On your back is more convenient if you're getting on and off the bike a lot (that's why you see all the messenger scabbards), and may be more aero. Some prefer one or the other for utterly inscrutable reasons that have nothing to do with what I've listed. A few advocate strapping the hilt to the rack with the blade out into traffic to enforce a three-foot passing zone, although this can be a (metaphorically) double-edged sword if it's a (literally) double-edged sword, so be sure to keep an eye on your mirror so you don't lose a leg if a car buzzes you and hits the blade. A scimitar is probably a safer choice than a saber if this is something you worry about.

Don't forget to attach a blinkie to the pommel for proper nighttime visibility.

blade740

Can anyone recommend a good lightweight sword? Is it worth it to shell for the carbon fiber? Or should I stick with good old-fashioned steel?

cyclokitty 

Pfft u-lock justice. How 1990s. I bring along my ninja kitty cat and he bats the stuffing out of miscreants. He's one mean cat.

GriddleCakes

Steel's great for soaking up those nasty vibrations from hitting vertebrae, but I hear that it can go soft over time, plus you have to worry about rust. The lighter weight of a carbon fiber sword will allow you to swing faster, for longer. Be aware that the carbon fiber sword might fail catastrophically, though, possibly injuring someone.

bmclaughlin807

*yawn* Everybody knows that it's MUCH more effective to use the BIKE as a weapon and skip the u-lock. Unless, of course, you've got one of those pansy-ass carbon fiber jobs that weighs less than a fart.

I have on two separate occasions used my bike to defend myself from attackers: once by swinging it in a circle around to force the three teens attacking me to back off before throwing it at the windshield of the truck they jumped out of (The driver was still in the truck.... he turned white as a ghost and backed up, then took off through the parking lot with his three buddies chasing, calling "Wait up! Wait for us!" and me chasing all of them, carrying my bike, calling them every name I could think of. I'm sure the conversation when the driver got home and tried to explain the shattered windshield to daddy was awesome.)

The other was when I threw it at a guy charging at me, swearing and yelling about how he was going to kill me. Slowed him down enough for me to start wailing on him. 50 pound touring/commuting bike packs some stopping power! Ended up chasing him back to his car (which he left running in an intersection at a red light... it cycled while we were fighting) He was so scared of the insane cyclist that he floored it, ran the red light and nearly caused an accident.

MichaelW

Ive had to use my bike as a fence between me and bad guy one. I picked the bike up and held it at face height. Bad guy had no target to punch so he gave a little girlie kick to my bike then, honour satisfied, got back in his car.

Ive also had creeps fixate on me and follow me around or recognise me later. In a small town you have to be careful, you are not anonymous like in a big city.

hairytoes

There are multiple posters on here talking about hitting teenagers with chains and U locks.

Were you guys perfect little angels when you were young? Do you have kids and if so, do you think they are always sensible?

Most young lads do some damn stupid things when they are young. How would your feel if a child of yours lost his teeth or ended up brain damaged because a harassed (adult) cyclist decided to "dish out some U-lock justice"?

There is an old kids rhythm "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".

For pete's sake people, these are kids, just kids. The day you are justified in attacking them with lumps of steel is the day they have tried to hit you first. Man up and grow a pair, learn to turn the other cheek.

gunner65

WTF? 4 on 1 and you are defending the teens? If these were my kids? I have kids and would kick their asses myself if they did this to a stranger. Buddy you are living under a rock if you think cause they are young they cannot kill ir seriously injure someone. How about the fact the law would stand behind the OP if they attacked as 4 on 1 is deadly force! Get real there were three teens here recently that murdered another teen in a gang fight.

KD5NRH

I'd take the 20 year old any day; by 50, most people know their limits, so the 50+ who wants to fight probably has a realistic expectation of winning, while the 20 year old is more likely to just lack the sense to back down from a fight he's going to lose.

sudo bike

You may consider a fork scabbard as well. It seems to work well for guns, and would keep your sword in easy reach. I recommend a cavalry saber - it allows for nice charges and can both cut and thrust pretty effectively.

Just remember to wear a helmet, and ride safely.

bmclaughlin807

I got punched once in the back of the head, and once in the face before I hit one of those 'poor kids' with anything.... yes, I think I was fully justified, and I relish the thought of the beating the driver likely got from daddy when he got home.

I have never once taken a swing at someone or tried to hit someone with anything if they haven't already taken a swing at me. I've never started a fight, though I've ended my share.

gunner65

Apparently you need to google "epic beard man" I would never count out a 50 + year old they were raised much tuffer than the young ones these days.

Fizzaly

I was not a perfect little angel , but i also didn't try or actually cause any bodily harm. Like said above the youth of today are no where near as innocent as people portray them to be, im still pretty young (28) and look even younger so i dont seem to have any problems with teens but, they are by no means a force to be taken lightly. As also stated above they lack reasoning and judgement skills that adults have, so when a incident is in front of them they are not going to act as an adult would. But either way young or old someone comes at me im defending myself with what ever i have handy, which i do believe will now be 14" 6pound knox lock.