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-   -   Worrying spouses (https://www.bikeforums.net/commuting/959779-worrying-spouses.html)

Ky_Rider 07-21-14 10:03 AM

I use the road id and runmeter app. Runmeter sends a text message to her every 2 miles. She also knows I have my life insurance policy pretty much maxed out at work and another policy at home so she doesn't worry too much. I take precautions and try to ride as safely as possible.

noglider 07-21-14 01:05 PM

Riding a bike is safer than being in a car. Hard to believe. It's safe if you know what you're doing, which is to say that skill is key.

Cyclists being killed and badly injured are newsworthy because it's not common. We shrug when it happens to people in cars unless it's someone we know. It's all too common.

Show your wife what you know about riding in traffic. Show her some statistics. I don't have them handy. I really should compile and bookmark them.

Leisesturm 07-21-14 03:00 PM


Originally Posted by Ky_Rider (Post 16959457)
I use the road id and runmeter app. Runmeter sends a text message to her every 2 miles. She also knows I have my life insurance policy pretty much maxed out at work and another policy at home so she doesn't worry too much. I take precautions and try to ride as safely as possible.

This post is typical of several in this thread and... ... I don't know... it makes me sad on several levels. I mean... you guys have bought into the whole male stereotype. Life insurance policy... two of them? That's what reassures her? If you get creamed, she will be maintained in the manner to which. Nice. I'd like to ask ALL the men running apps like runmeter: are your wives also using similar apps on their smartphones? If not, why not? Because she doesn't ride in traffic? Weak. Fair is fair. I don't care if she doesn't ride. If you are going to be tracked via your phone, then she should be also.

I would also suggest you give more than passing attention to the opinions of the posters who, like myself, belive that, as cyclists, we are actually at less risk for accidental death and/or dismemberment during a commute. It is, in part, because many of you have tremendous fear and loathing of vehicular cycling yourselves why you so easily accede to your spouses needs for reassurance that you are ok out there.

H

Mark Stone 07-21-14 03:21 PM


Originally Posted by Leisesturm (Post 16960617)
This post is typical of several in this thread and... ... I don't know... it makes me sad on several levels. I mean... you guys have bought into the whole male stereotype. Life insurance policy... two of them? That's what reassures her? If you get creamed, she will be maintained in the manner to which. Nice. I'd like to ask ALL the men running apps like runmeter: are your wives also using similar apps on their smartphones? If not, why not? Because she doesn't ride in traffic? Weak. Fair is fair. I don't care if she doesn't ride. If you are going to be tracked via your phone, then she should be also.

I would also suggest you give more than passing attention to the opinions of the posters who, like myself, belive that, as cyclists, we are actually at less risk for accidental death and/or dismemberment during a commute. It is, in part, because many of you have tremendous fear and loathing of vehicular cycling yourselves why you so easily accede to your spouses needs for reassurance that you are ok out there.

H

There's no resolution, because every relationship is different.

wphamilton 07-21-14 03:57 PM


Originally Posted by Leisesturm (Post 16960617)
This post is typical of several in this thread and... ... I don't know... it makes me sad on several levels. I mean... you guys have bought into the whole male stereotype. Life insurance policy... two of them? That's what reassures her? If you get creamed, she will be maintained in the manner to which. Nice. I'd like to ask ALL the men running apps like runmeter: are your wives also using similar apps on their smartphones? If not, why not? Because she doesn't ride in traffic? Weak. Fair is fair. I don't care if she doesn't ride. If you are going to be tracked via your phone, then she should be also.

I would also suggest you give more than passing attention to the opinions of the posters who, like myself, belive that, as cyclists, we are actually at less risk for accidental death and/or dismemberment during a commute. It is, in part, because many of you have tremendous fear and loathing of vehicular cycling yourselves why you so easily accede to your spouses needs for reassurance that you are ok out there.

H

I could track her phone if I wanted to, with either google location or wheresmydroid. I've never wanted or needed to. The capability does not imply a lack of trust. It's a measure of my trust that I never would without prior agreement, and of her trust knowing that I wouldn't.

With or without a particular location app, isn't it common courtesy to let someone know where you are if you're late and that person is expecting you? What difference does it really make how that information is relayed?

TransitBiker 07-21-14 04:09 PM

Got a helmet and always wore one since. No one seems to be too bothered, but then again, i kinda do know what i'm doing. ;)

- Andy

RubeRad 07-21-14 05:42 PM

My wife is great, she is very supportive of my full-time bike commuting, but she does have some concerns. One time near the beginning I didn't call home before I left work, and when I got home she was crazy because she couldn't reach me at work, and didn't know if I was on the road, or stuck or crashed or injured. So now I tag up before every time I leave work, and she likes that.

Also, I try to share with her information about what I do on my rides to keep safe. Like when we drive by one of my problem intersections, I'll point out "sometimes I'll just get through the intersection and wait at the curb for the light to turn red to hold back the cars so I can change lanes here", or "here is a place where cars have to cross over the bike lane into the right turn lane, so I'm always looking for gaps in the traffic to make sure I can move through, or take extra care to communicate with drivers and watch them close anyways" etc.

Also a good idea as mentioned above to take her on a ride sometime. Preferably a weekend morning when traffic is light...

Ky_Rider 07-21-14 06:39 PM


Originally Posted by Leisesturm (Post 16960617)
This post is typical of several in this thread and... ... I don't know... it makes me sad on several levels. I mean... you guys have bought into the whole male stereotype. Life insurance policy... two of them? That's what reassures her? If you get creamed, she will be maintained in the manner to which. Nice. I'd like to ask ALL the men running apps like runmeter: are your wives also using similar apps on their smartphones? If not, why not? Because she doesn't ride in traffic? Weak. Fair is fair. I don't care if she doesn't ride. If you are going to be tracked via your phone, then she should be also.


I would also suggest you give more than passing attention to the opinions of the posters who, like myself, belive that, as cyclists, we are actually at less risk for accidental death and/or dismemberment during a commute. It is, in part, because many of you have tremendous fear and loathing of vehicular cycling yourselves why you so easily accede to your spouses needs for reassurance that you are ok out there.

H

I had my life insurance before I became a cyclist. It's as much for my piece of mind as it is hers. I also have seizures, but I refuse to sit in the house and hide from the world. I started using a tracking app after my seizures started or she wouldn't even let me take a walk. I expect to be bike commuting 20 years from now. Btw my wife frequently texts me when she's leaving work also. We're pretty good about staying in touch.

cafzali 07-21-14 09:38 PM


Originally Posted by Leisesturm (Post 16960617)
This post is typical of several in this thread and... ... I don't know... it makes me sad on several levels. I mean... you guys have bought into the whole male stereotype. Life insurance policy... two of them? That's what reassures her? If you get creamed, she will be maintained in the manner to which. Nice. I'd like to ask ALL the men running apps like runmeter: are your wives also using similar apps on their smartphones? If not, why not? Because she doesn't ride in traffic? Weak. Fair is fair. I don't care if she doesn't ride. If you are going to be tracked via your phone, then she should be also.

I would also suggest you give more than passing attention to the opinions of the posters who, like myself, belive that, as cyclists, we are actually at less risk for accidental death and/or dismemberment during a commute. It is, in part, because many of you have tremendous fear and loathing of vehicular cycling yourselves why you so easily accede to your spouses needs for reassurance that you are ok out there.

H

I get where you're going, but you're lumping together two things that really shouldn't be. Preparing for your financial future, while it's not something that Americans are particularly good at, is just plain smart. Many spouses have life insurance policies because things happen and the lack of a policy that will help your spouse provide for themselves following your death can translate into a severe financial burden. Losing a spouse is tough enough, but think about adding the potential stress of being forced out of your home because you can no longer float the costs, etc. (And no, I'm not in financial sales at all).

I do agree with you, however, that ideally people should just relax, take precautions that they can and let the chips fall. I was just hit by a car last week. Luckily, the incident was minor as accidents go and apart from some nasty scrapes, I didn't really have any damage and my bike escaped unharmed thanks in large part to my body serving as a shield :) Despite being shaken up by it a little, I thanked my lucky stars I wasn't injured, took to heart some defensive things I might could have done along that stretch to avoid a similar situation and was back out for two rides this weekend.

As the late, great Warren Zevon famously said "Life'll kill you." You might as well have some fun while you're around.

CrankyOne 07-22-14 11:09 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Perhaps she has reason to worry? Bicycling: Relatively Safe | streets.mn

http://bikeforums.net/attachment.php...hmentid=394697

thechemist 07-22-14 11:14 AM

I text my wife when I get to work to let her know I am ok. I general share "news" with the wife and she stays disconnected for the most part about what goes on in the news. Cycling news can be pretty easy to avoid.

Obviously, the more you commute the easier it gets

RubeRad 07-22-14 11:27 AM

Comparing bike vs car per distance is skewed because of the speed difference. If you compare per hour instead of per mile, then all of those bike curves get slashed down by whatever the auto/bike speed factor is, which is at least 3x, if not 5x.

PatrickGSR94 07-22-14 11:44 AM


Originally Posted by RubeRad (Post 16963565)
Comparing bike vs car per distance is skewed because of the speed difference. If you compare per hour instead of per mile, then all of those bike curves get slashed down by whatever the auto/bike speed factor is, which is at least 3x, if not 5x.

Not sure I understand. If I drive to work it takes about 23 minutes. If I bike to work it takes anywhere from 65 to 80 minutes. Does that mean I'm more or less likely to die if I drive or bike?

cafzali 07-22-14 12:01 PM


Originally Posted by PatrickGSR94 (Post 16963610)
Not sure I understand. If I drive to work it takes about 23 minutes. If I bike to work it takes anywhere from 65 to 80 minutes. Does that mean I'm more or less likely to die if I drive or bike?

Right. It has nothing to do with speed, but total miles traveled by mode. Given that vastly fewer miles in the U.S. are accumulated on a bike, the stats on bike injuries/fatalities will always look high in comparison to car travel, just as airlines are statistically vastly safer than car travel. Yet because most people do the vast majority of their traveling in a car, the safety of air travel has little overall impact on their daily life.

Null66 07-22-14 01:40 PM

Awh, there's a lot of considerate spouses here....

metz1295 07-22-14 03:03 PM


Originally Posted by PatrickGSR94 (Post 16963610)
Not sure I understand. If I drive to work it takes about 23 minutes. If I bike to work it takes anywhere from 65 to 80 minutes. Does that mean I'm more or less likely to die if I drive or bike?

all I know is that I see a lot fewer cars on the bike (11.5 miles @ 40-45 min. using residentials, light arterials and bike paths) than I do in the car (12 miles @ 20 minutes mostly interstate).

metz1295 07-22-14 03:03 PM


Originally Posted by Null66 (Post 16964011)
Awh, there's a lot of considerate spouses here....


probably more like reluctantly accepting

wphamilton 07-22-14 03:48 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 16963498)

Per hour it's about equal and that really makes sense since a fatality probably involves a collision, and collisions are mostly caused by inattentiveness or impairment. And would be dependent on the amount of time exposed.

Per mile traveled, three to ten times as many cycling fatalities per mile as car fatalities per mile, depending on which stats you find.

But, you cut it in half just by not riding the wrong way, not riding at night without lights, not riding on sidewalks and not drinking. I had the data to back that up but not at the moment so take it or leave it, or with a grain of salt as you prefer.

Additionally, in urban areas a third of the fatalities are at or near intersections (in NY, almost 90% were within 25 feet of an intersection, but maybe NY is dense with intersections?) In any event we can zoom in on that 1/3 of fatalities by taking extra care at intersections.

With some other risk-shaving - and you can find data to support it if you really dig - most commuters can cut it statistically to not much more dangerous than driving.

CrankyOne 07-22-14 04:51 PM


Originally Posted by wphamilton (Post 16964479)
Per hour it's about equal and that really makes sense since a fatality probably involves a collision, and collisions are mostly caused by inattentiveness or impairment. And would be dependent on the amount of time exposed.

Per hour is equal? Bicycle fatalities are about 5 times that of cars. I'd guess most people's commutes don't take them 5 times as long.

Dave Mayer 07-22-14 05:05 PM


Originally Posted by PatrickGSR94 (Post 16948211)
How many of us bike commuters have spouses who are almost overcome with anxiety and worrying while we're out riding to or from work? What have you done, if anything, to help overcome your spouse's fears?

I recorded my commute on my GoPro. We watched it. She remarked how "uneventful" it was.

Also, make sure you're insured.

wphamilton 07-22-14 05:37 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 16964664)
Per hour is equal? Bicycle fatalities are about 5 times that of cars. I'd guess most people's commutes don't take them 5 times as long.

A lot of the fatalities are from overtaking on long rural roads. Higher speed differentials. Commuting is not a large portion of bicycle miles in general. That's one of the ways that we cut down on the odds. Most of us don't have the 20 miles on winding rural roads.

Personally, I think that the high end of the range of estimates (5 times) is rather ... high.

PatrickGSR94 07-22-14 07:31 PM


Originally Posted by CrankyOne (Post 16964664)
Per hour is equal? Bicycle fatalities are about 5 times that of cars. I'd guess most people's commutes don't take them 5 times as long.

Yep, mine does. 4 to 5 times as long.

Null66 07-22-14 07:43 PM


Originally Posted by RubeRad (Post 16963565)
Comparing bike vs car per distance is skewed because of the speed difference. If you compare per hour instead of per mile, then all of those bike curves get slashed down by whatever the auto/bike speed factor is, which is at least 3x, if not 5x.

Actually average effective speed is much closer then that. I forget the actual, but I think it on the order of 1.5 to 2x... We speed a heck of a lot of time stuck in traffic. I'm sure someone in commuting forum can get you the actual numbers with references.

But even though my google-fu is quite weak. Here's a reference with citations.
http://www.ohiobike.org/misc/CyclingIsSafeTLK.pdf

It seems that the activity's decrease in mortality vastly offsets the crash risk.

And this where the bicycle fatalities there are, well they heavily skew to people NOT on this board. Sidewalk riders, Salmon, Ninja Salmon, and drunks make up the vast majority of fatalities. Heck, just drunks alone are almost a majority by themselves...
So DO YOU DRINK AND RIDE?
Sidewalk surf?
Are you a Salmon?
or a Ninja?

We have many built-in errors in the way we asses risk. Think of it as flying from NY to LA... Far more like to die in car on the short ride to the airport then the long flight by many orders of magnitude. However, we vastly over estimate the risk of flying for many reasons.

jbenkert111 07-22-14 08:15 PM


Originally Posted by wphamilton (Post 16959139)
I played with the Glympse app again this weekend (free in the Google Play store). You can set up a favorite, "work to home" for instance, and one button starts it up. It runs in the background and I can start up Strava also if I want. My spouse gets an email and/or text that I'm leaving and can track the ride from a link in the message. It works as advertised!

I wouldn't do that every commute of course, but working late or in severe weather conditions it seems like it would be considerate and reassuring.



I don't know if you're joking, but for the record this is wrong.


I see you read post #60 . For the record, do you really STILL think I am wrong. By the way, I see you ride a Nashbar road bike. I do also and really like it.

wphamilton 07-22-14 08:28 PM


Originally Posted by jbenkert111 (Post 16965247)
I see you read post #60 . For the record, do you really STILL think I am wrong. By the way, I see you ride a Nashbar road bike. I do also and really like it.

That " The smartest thing would be to stop commuting. It is to dangerous in the long run"? absolutely I still think it's wrong and the chart doesn't change that, for several reasons.

First, it's on the higher extreme of estimates, which have generally had some problems in methodology. I haven't checked that particular source, but take it with a grain of salt.

Second, even if it's God's honest truth that still doesn't make it safer to stop commuting with bikes.


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