I text my wife when I get to work to let her know I am ok. I general share "news" with the wife and she stays disconnected for the most part about what goes on in the news. Cycling news can be pretty easy to avoid.

Obviously, the more you commute the easier it gets

Comparing bike vs car per distance is skewed because of the speed difference. If you compare per hour instead of per mile, then all of those bike curves get slashed down by whatever the auto/bike speed factor is, which is at least 3x, if not 5x.

Not sure I understand. If I drive to work it takes about 23 minutes. If I bike to work it takes anywhere from 65 to 80 minutes. Does that mean I'm more or less likely to die if I drive or bike?

Right. It has nothing to do with speed, but total miles traveled by mode. Given that vastly fewer miles in the U.S. are accumulated on a bike, the stats on bike injuries/fatalities will always look high in comparison to car travel, just as airlines are statistically vastly safer than car travel. Yet because most people do the vast majority of their traveling in a car, the safety of air travel has little overall impact on their daily life.

Awh, there's a lot of considerate spouses here....

all I know is that I see a lot fewer cars on the bike (11.5 miles @ 40-45 min. using residentials, light arterials and bike paths) than I do in the car (12 miles @ 20 minutes mostly interstate).

probably more like reluctantly accepting

Per hour it's about equal and that really makes sense since a fatality probably involves a collision, and collisions are mostly caused by inattentiveness or impairment. And would be dependent on the amount of time exposed.

Per mile traveled, three to ten times as many cycling fatalities per mile as car fatalities per mile, depending on which stats you find.

But, you cut it in half just by not riding the wrong way, not riding at night without lights, not riding on sidewalks and not drinking. I had the data to back that up but not at the moment so take it or leave it, or with a grain of salt as you prefer.

Additionally, in urban areas a third of the fatalities are at or near intersections (in NY, almost 90% were within 25 feet of an intersection, but maybe NY is dense with intersections?) In any event we can zoom in on that 1/3 of fatalities by taking extra care at intersections.

With some other risk-shaving - and you can find data to support it if you really dig - most commuters can cut it statistically to not much more dangerous than driving.

Per hour is equal? Bicycle fatalities are about 5 times that of cars. I'd guess most people's commutes don't take them 5 times as long.

I recorded my commute on my GoPro. We watched it. She remarked how "uneventful" it was.

Also, make sure you're insured.

A lot of the fatalities are from overtaking on long rural roads. Higher speed differentials. Commuting is not a large portion of bicycle miles in general. That's one of the ways that we cut down on the odds. Most of us don't have the 20 miles on winding rural roads.

Personally, I think that the high end of the range of estimates (5 times) is rather ... high.

Yep, mine does. 4 to 5 times as long.

Actually average effective speed is much closer then that. I forget the actual, but I think it on the order of 1.5 to 2x... We speed a heck of a lot of time stuck in traffic. I'm sure someone in commuting forum can get you the actual numbers with references.

But even though my google-fu is quite weak. Here's a reference with citations.
http://www.ohiobike.org/misc/CyclingIsSafeTLK.pdf

It seems that the activity's decrease in mortality vastly offsets the crash risk.

And this where the bicycle fatalities there are, well they heavily skew to people NOT on this board. Sidewalk riders, Salmon, Ninja Salmon, and drunks make up the vast majority of fatalities. Heck, just drunks alone are almost a majority by themselves...
So DO YOU DRINK AND RIDE?
Sidewalk surf?
Are you a Salmon?
or a Ninja?

We have many built-in errors in the way we asses risk. Think of it as flying from NY to LA... Far more like to die in car on the short ride to the airport then the long flight by many orders of magnitude. However, we vastly over estimate the risk of flying for many reasons.

I see you read post #60 . For the record, do you really STILL think I am wrong. By the way, I see you ride a Nashbar road bike. I do also and really like it.

That " The smartest thing would be to stop commuting. It is to dangerous in the long run"? absolutely I still think it's wrong and the chart doesn't change that, for several reasons.

First, it's on the higher extreme of estimates, which have generally had some problems in methodology. I haven't checked that particular source, but take it with a grain of salt.

Second, even if it's God's honest truth that still doesn't make it safer to stop commuting with bikes.

My wife is not prone to anxiety (a medical condition)... although she can be a bit of a worrier. We have discussed the dangers involved with cycling. I explained the low risk-serious consequences.... I don't think she fully grasped the idea. So then.... I reminded her I will most certainly die.

Because of my age... the odds of my passing in the next few years are really pretty good. Since most people do understand that death is inevitable that may be a good place to start. Lots of military, police, fire fighters face much greater risks... no matter how they get to work. Once people pause long enough to remember that life is temporary.... making the most of the brief time each of us have makes good sense.

The old saying about the reason we pray before meals.... is because it is to remind us that we are mere mortals. We must practice many ritual routines like eating and sleeping.... just to stay alive. Tell your loved ones that you are doing all the stuff you need to do to stay alive.... and enjoy your life.

Worrying is a sign of love. When she says, "do what you want, I don't care", then you know you're in real trouble.

My wife worries, particularly when we have a conversation with friends about "how dangerous cycling is" or crazy drivers, etc. That said she has still always been VERY supportive about me riding to work as the health benefits generally outweigh the relatively low risk.

I was very concerned at her reaction when I had my first crash a couple days ago, winding up with me spending a few hours at urgent care. She was concerned, but didn't seem to change her thoughts to me biking (or she held it in). She did ask if I would still ride. I said yes, once I am healed, and at some point something like this may happen again, but maybe not for a long time. SHe didn't snow concern about that response.

I try to ease her concerns by taking appropriate safety measures with viability, taking a safe route, etc. My rides are all saved on Strava, so she can see when I arrive safe. I have debated a live update app at some point as well.

I also use a Garmin 510, with live tracking that's emailed to my wife. I also discuss/text my intended route(s) prior, and she's pretty familiar with my popular rides, since she's been along for a few of them.

We have also done 'recon' together, on proposed routes while in the car.

I used to ride and commute by motorcycle for many years, so I guess this additional TWO Wheeled addiction is nothing new to her...