So how do you justify another bike in the stable?
 

So I currently have two road bikes, a very capable (and most expesive of the fleet) mountain bike, a low end cruiser and a budget tandem. However, I recently got the itch for a higher end carbon fiber mountain bike. My wife doesn't share the same passion for more than one steed in the stable while I seem very convinced that I need (O.K., want) another bike.

In the past I have broached the N+1 aquistion using multiple approaches:

The justification method: Cycling is becoming more and more the go-to physical fitness activity I will rely on as I age, therefore, this is a purchase for life (perhaps literally) or until technology advances to force another itch (and that would be a medical issue to be dealt with at a later time).

The selfless approach: Having another bike will allow me to share the fun of mountaing biking with family/friends that come to visit us (we have a second home in the mountains where I mostly ride spring through fall).

The redundancy approach: Because we have a second home it is more convienient to have one bike in each location rather than having to constantly move them back in forth with each trip (this is my current excuse and use for two road bikes).

My favorite: "It is better to ask forgiveness than it is permission."

The assertive approach: I still work very hard and long hours, I can afford it, and I have the room for it, therefore, if I want it I will get it no matter what others might think!



So how do you approach a new acquisition with a lesser approving spouse?

Please understand, I know this is a very 1st world problem. I would like to think I am also generous with those in need. In fact I use my bike every February to raise money to build homes for those less fortunate in Mexcio-Hey, I just remembered that one: Charity work, another justification.

'bob

This is bull crap.

Marriage is supposed to be a complete union. Two become one. If you are not discussing things with your wife and are doing things behind her back then don't expect to be married long.

Talk it over. If you can't agree then it doesn't happen.

Ask yourself how you would feel if you didn't approve of a $3000 purchase and she did it anyway.

I'm sure others will disagree with me.


-Tim-

Marriage might be intended to be a complete union of two souls, a perfect cooperative venture between two people each committed to the well-being of the other ... but in my experience marriage actually involves two actual human beings, with faults and foibles, idiosycracies, oddities, different strengths, different motivations ... making a marriage work is hard work for this reason.

i figure there are a few times one must tell one's spouse, 'This is how it is, deal with it." Abuse that and you abuse your spouse, but sometimes to do otherwise is accepting spouse abuse.

That said, i wouldn't waste one on a bike.

As @jppe notes, if you are not convinced you need this bike, you cannot sell the idea that you need it.

Also ... I wouldn't (in my and Only my specific relationship) try to play or fool my spouse.

I generally have said something like, "I am planning to buy this bike." Sometimes she listens to why, sometimes not. She knows that I have a bike-buying issue, but she knows I know and I manage it without hurting us. I don't consider buying Anything big without considering the household, not just my desires.

Since you can apparently buy another bike without hurting the household, then it is simply a matter of you deciding what you really want. once you understand it, just explain it your wife honestly.


But ... that is only how I might do it ... or it might not be. I don't know you, or your wife, or your situation. What is best for you, I cannot say.

Not sure if this is about the marriage or the bike? I have been the "breadwinner" for the bulk of our 42 years together...that said, it is our money and our life together. We each have savings or investment accounts for big items we want to purchase as well as big items for our home and vehicles. We typically discuss any purchase over ~$300, and pay cash. Not a hassle and a good balance of power.

Bottom line, if I really wanted a new bike given I now have a nice road bike, and a good enough MTB and hybrid I barely ride, I'd save the cash for the new bike and probably sell the bike I'm replacing. It is just stuff...and amassing more stuff to gather dust won't improve our life together. Keep smiling.

I am in an interesting position because I have too many bikes now. I just rehabbed two old frames and i wish i could sell like, three bikes and get one Lynskey to replace them all .... but no one would pay for the bikes I would sell, and I haven't found good homes to which to donate them. Because of each bike's idiosyncrasies I wouldn't want to give them to Goodwill or something.

My wife wouldn't be thrilled if I bought another bike, but so long as I used my own cash that would be the issue. It would be the senseless acquiring of stuff, to which @Stormsedge refers.

Again, until you know that you really want this bike, you can't get it .... and once you know whether you really want it, you shouldn't have much trouble, I hope.

Sorry, folks, this thread was meant to be a tongue n' cheek look at how we try to justify acquiring things we don't really need-not how to navigate through a marriage.

FWIW, it is true I have been eyeing the acquisition of a new carbon mountain bike. Just knowing what my wife (one and only for over 33 years) will think serves as a more succinct assessment as to what I also know down deep-as we are usually on the same page about most things. However, as a materialistic human being, these justifications (some that were mentioned) will pop into my head in an effort to convince my conscious in want over need. It's the angel and devil on each shoulder scenario.

I only posted this with the intent of it being a light hearted conversation to see if others struggle in the same way, and to "confess" some of the justifications we (I) have used to convince us into buying more stuff.

Another victim of text-based social interaction.

But back to your question, I quote Sheryl Crow,

"If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the h*ll are you so sad?"

I bought a new carbon fiber mtb in March and it's really fun to ride. Mrs. John doesn't care and she didn't even see it for several weeks and when she did, she wasn't impressed.

In this case, the N+1 is harder to justify because a capable steed that performs the same function (MTB) already exists in the OP's corral.

But the Redundancy and Selfless approaches are truly valid here, and improve the OP's quality of life, and are reason enough to get another MTB (of equal quality and materials to the existing one), with one bike being kept and ridden by the OP at each location.

But what wasn't justified at all was the carbon frame upgrade on the new redundant bike, as well as the other upgrade expenses that typically come with a carbon frame (hydro disc brakes, longer travel (and lighter) fork, tubeless rims/tires, higher quality front/rear suspension, etc...), all of which make the bike easier to control in sticky situations, and more likely to avoid a fall in the first place, and therefore make the justifications of the those upgrades covered under the "Safety Approach". Using these upgrades to avoid just one fall and the out-of-pocket expenses resulting from the ambulance ride and Emergency Room visit would easily pay for those upgrades.

Other purchase requisitions that are covered under the Safety Approach are: toasty warm winter shoes, dynamo hub, studded snow tires, fancy polarized glasses, light-weight MIPS helmet, etc...

My wife kicked pretty hard when I bought my last bike, a coupled bike for travel, 10 years ago.

She's seen me using it since then. She's also seem most of the maintenance I've done on all my bikes, so she's started asking me if I don't need a new bike that's not so old? So far I've held her off, but you know, my resistance is slowly being eroded. Someday I'll buy another bike -- just because she asked me to! :D

When negotiating in business it is best to seek a Win-Win outcome in long-term relationships.

So, what's in it for your wife?

I think I would pull back and assess if any of her needs are not being addressed first.

Your leverage in negotiating is a happy wife.

The goal of each spouse is to make the other happy if at all possible. So if you guys can afford it and it's important to you, she should not object. And if she approaches you with something she wants (or wants to do) and its important to her, you should make it happen.

And heck, if that fails, I like the second home excuse. If you have your bikes on your roof, you'd save the price of the bike on fuel savings in ... oh 20 years or so. lol

I wish the OP had never mentioned a spouse in the original question, since the basis of this question is not really about getting the spouse's approval, but is simply about the process of justifying an N+1 expense, more so to yourself than to anyone else.

It's not like single people spend every last dollar on 100's of bikes because there's no significant other to hold them back.

Been married for 29 years and I always let my wife know what I am up to. I don't get a new bike very often. Last one was a frameset in 2012. Before that it was 1986. She understands we both work hard and don't piss our money away on junk. With that being said, if you truly have a need for a replacement bike, do it. If it is a want, reexamine that desire and justify it first. After that, if the justification aligns with your vision, then do it!

Wives aren't always rational when it comes to bikes. :innocent:

I told my wife it was cheaper than a triple bypass copay?

Express the strong desire
Determine your position
Meet the spouse's Pleasure Dome wishes
(If you have to ask her, the battle is lost)
See if money is left over for dream CF mtn bike
If necessary, Take it as a Xmas gift.
Or Birthday, if sooner.
Win - Win.

Except for the bank acct, which is only fair given excessive needs.
I took up European 1970s&80s lightweight roadies = much cheaper, no financial issues even given my excessive needs.

Start looking at sports cars. Browse eBay motors, research makes and models, stop by the dealership on the way home.

Start talking about hiking the AT. Read hiking blogs, research gear. Maybe even go for a day hike or two.

Let that go on for a good long while, maybe a couple months. Actually get yourself psyched up, if you can.

Then one day say, "maybe I'll just get a new, lighter MTB instead."

You'll be good to go.

.......In 1972 my girl friend gave me a new Schwinn Continental. In May of 2013 my wife since 1973 gave me a 2013 Giant Propel Advanced SL to use in November during IRONMAN FLORIDA. In July of 2017 for my 67th birthday my wife since 1973 purchased a 2018 Specialized Roubaix Expert to use in February during Bike Sebring 12/24 Hour Race.
.......One irrational gal I'm lucky to be married to. :love:

Formula for a 45+ year happy marriage, since the git-go, her money was hers, my money was hers and she can do anything she wants with that money as long as I get an allowance. :D

I like that this question was posed in the context of a marriage.

I sense a disparity theme in the want vs need categories. Having one mountain bike, enables mountain biking. Having two mountain bikes for the same person, crosses into the want category.

A reasonable person could understand a need based purchase. Want purchases cost brownie points.

Of course if you're cycling all the time and highly active or competitive, the want becomes less of a stretch. There's a practicality there.

Just because "I want the pretty n+1" is pretty weak and could be perceived as self centered, inconsiderate, or immature.

Just reverse the person asking and the purchase and it should make it pretty clear (a second diamond wedding ring? What are you trying to tell me honey?)

Part of being in a relationship is the challenge that comes with it. Through embracing that challenge, we grow. But it all comes down to transparency. Honesty really is the best policy. Unless you want a divorce. Then lie like a mutha f-er.

:thumb: I hear you...it did generate some interesting perspectives though! Cheers!

Sacrifice something: sell off one of the existing bikes and replace with another.

Demonstrate to yourself that the numbers come out right. Go through the retirement income analysis to support your First World situation. That your investment assets can actually generate the income to make such a purchase feasible. All this without jeopardizing future budget needs.

Then show it to "wifey"