rsbob 

Losses are never easy, especially when they are close. My wife and I cringe every time we hear of a cyclist being killed locally. It is a risky sport unless you get off the roads completely (look at the popularity of gravel <-a friend of mine gave up road riding for fear of getting run down by a car). Everyone calculates their individual risk tolerance and and there always are an unfortunate few.

My thoughts go out to you and your buddy’s family and friends. A tragedy that touches all of us.

PeteHski

This is a tough read. For a long time (a good 15 years) I gave up road biking entirely and just rode off-road mtb. While mtb has its own risks, at least they are mostly under your own control. Eventually, I did make the decision to go back out on the road, but threads like this always make me think twice. I can see the attraction of gravel biking as an alternative to road more and more with stories like this. So I might just investigate my local gravel riding options for next season, along with more focus back on my mtb. I'm not going to give up road biking again, but I would like to reduce my exposure to the danger of modern road traffic.

Anyway, I hope sharing your thoughts with us helps a little in coming to terms with your loss. 3 strikes is very unfortunate indeed.

WNCGoater

Always saddens me to hear this. Sorry for your loss.
Sad commentary but I believe a reality today, which I have told my wife, if I get hit I have zero expectation the motorist will stop to render aid. I have bright blinky lights front and rear, wear florescent jerseys, and use a prominent rear-view on my helmet. I watch every car approaching from behind, always ready to hit the ditch. Does that make me safe? Not from a motorist that doesn't care and there are plenty that have no problem putting your life at risk. But I won't stop. I've had surgery on both shoulders, both knees, both wrists, two cancer surgeries and two cancer treatments. Worst accidents on a road bike were forgetting to unclip and falling over! Had some pretty awesome crashes on mtn bikes however, and have quit that altogether. Yet still I'm in pretty good shape for 62. I figure my odds of getting killed in an automobile accident are higher than on my bike, statistically speaking. So I keep going,

I believe our days are numbered and when my number comes up I'm leaving this world, whether on a bike or not. I'm ready to go when the time comes.

Carbonfiberboy 

May I suggest . . . a double dose of Red Molly:

I only ride outside on the tandem with my wife anymore.

MoAlpha

I love ocean racing, but I would sure rather clot off a coronary artery and die on the couch than go overboard and drown at sea. Getting smashed on the road is somewhere in between.

oldbobcat

I think I'd prefer drowning at sea to getting smashed on the road. But your point is well taken.

MoAlpha

May we all get to pick our modes of exit!

MinnMan

You guys are reminding me of Wolf Hall, where Henry VIII shows mercy on various poor souls by allowing them to be beheaded, rather than burnt at the stake.

MoAlpha

Reminds me, in turn, of the old joke whose punchline is, “Okay, death, but first a little [moomba, cheechee, or bunga bunga if you’re Silvio Berlusconi]. Medical trainees tell it as an allegory.

MinnMan

I am NOT Silvio Berlusconi.

And now we've taken a somber and serious thread and turned it light-hearted. That's a feature, not a bug.

PeteHski

It's a tough call between an instant violent exit or dribbling away in a nursing home. I think I'd prefer the former, but only when I reach the point where I can barely ride! I was thinking of buying a Superbike (as in motorbike) for my 85th birthday to avoid the latter ending.

RH Clark

Sorry for your loss. Roads are so dangerous these days with distracted drivers that I only ride seldom traveled country roads and actually dismount and get off the road when a car is coming. Fortunately, I live where I can sometimes ride several hours without seeing an automobile on the road.

Dan Burkhart 

Very sorry for the loss of your friend.
I try to pick less dangerous routes when I ride and prefer to head for rail trails when my wife and I go for a ride together.

RH Clark

What you want to avoid is dribbling in the nursing home as a result of getting the Superbike.

MoAlpha

Yes, and the risk of dementia is much lower than national average in this lifetime-fit population anyway.

I-Like-To-Bike

Which/what "lifetime-fit population" are you referencing? Source?

MoAlpha

The one reading this thread.

I-Like-To-Bike

That is what I thought defined your so-called "lifetime-fit population", and their reduced risk of dementia as determined by the one who posted this tidbit?

curbtender

I'm pretty sure this discussion is about fate and loss. It's a survivor thing.

rsbob 

I can so relate to Pete. I too gave up road riding for 12 years and strictly mountain biked. The reason was the fear of getting creamed on the road, for all the reasons we all know so well. I loved mountain biking with the challenge, the skill building, the concentration and the self selected level of risk. When I controlled all the variables, life was good. A back injury and becoming more risk averse took me back to the road. Getting back, I realized how much I missed it. It was not technical but descending at speed can be a reward in itself. I am currently riding an endurance bike which is comfortable on non-technical trails as the road. But as I age, I just find the jostling on the trail irritating compared to smooth pavement, so I keep mostly to the road. And this is a rather long way of saying is that I have gone full circle, and accept the risks. I have lived a good life, and a very privileged life compared to the majority of the world. If I die on the road, I can live, and die, with that.

May we all live long healthy lives.

PeteHski

That's why I'm not getting a Superbike until I'm so old that dribbling away in the nursing home is my likely fate regardless. Not that I was being entirely serious you understand. It was more of a philosophical thought about suffering a quick vs slow demise. From what I've seen the latter is not a great way to go, especially if you are mentally aware.

MinnMan

This thread has taken some turns that are quite different from where it began, but so be it.

I'm not sure that there is a better way to die. I understand how miserable and sad it is to fade away on a couch, in a hospital bed, in a long term care facility, etc. But there is something to be said for fading away- making your peace with the end, making plans, saying goodby, giving people the opportunity to say goodbye ....

The sudden demise- on the road, or just dropping dead from a heart attack whilst walking down the street? I picture it - the instant of terror and confusion, the thousands of things flashing through my mind, left undone, left unsaid, left unplanned......

We'll all go through it, one way or another.

RH Clark

I've often had the same sentiment. I'm not sure getting old is a blessing. The older I get the more I think that the blessed and lucky ones lived long enough to experience a full life and died fast and painless.

Our culture doesn't like to even think about death, but we would all lead much fuller lives if we accepted and acknowledged that every day could be the last.

PeteHski

Very true and well put.

rsbob 

My mother will be 91 in May. I have watched her steady decline for the last 15 years to the point that she can no longer read (her favorite pastime) write, or perform simple tasks like fixing a bowl of cereal. She has a care taker to make sure she takes her meds which she never remembers on her own. Her life is full of problems and crises just like the one I helped her/actually her caretaker with yesterday, doing a change of address on a bill to mine. Reopening an envelope and writing my address was just too much. Then there are the indignities of personal cleanliness, the ever present pain, dizziness and virtually routine trips to the ER courtesy of the local EMTs. Her quality of life frankly sucks, but she endures.

I have my Will in order and have vowed to not go down the same road. Watching her and helping her I have resolved that I will never allow myself to go this way. Selfish? Perhaps, but I find burdening others or living so disabled is not something I choose to do. I have lived a life of few regrets (regerts) and with many privileges compared to the greater world. I will take a swift death, rather than the alternative. Just my take. TMI?