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Helmet Hair -- ĦQue Horror!

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Old 10-14-05, 09:56 AM
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I need more cowbell.
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Helmet Hair -- ĦQue Horror!

So if I'm riding for an hour or more, when I take off the helmet, I have what my kids call "helmet hair." My beautiful salt and pepper locks (which aren't more than an inch long to begin with) have taken on the pattern of the helmet, complete with ridges and such.

So if I stop to have lunch somewhere, or have to be somewhere right after the ride and can't shower, wash my hair and do all that, I must inflict on the world a sculpted pate that appears to cause unsuspecting passersby moments of shock and awe, which leads to hearty guffaws at best, and puzzled bewilderment at least. Of course, if I am carrying my helmet at the time, they get it.

So, what should I do? Must I wear a babushka under the helmet? Ignore the passionate if impolite staring? What???
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Old 10-14-05, 11:01 AM
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I prefer wearing a cycling cap under the helmet. I hate it when my hair gets stuck in the foam.
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Old 10-14-05, 11:48 AM
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It is a sign of honor, much like the suntan mark in the open spot on your gloves. Wear it proudly, as it announces to the world that you are a BICYCLER!


Or, do as I do, shave your hair.
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Old 10-14-05, 11:54 AM
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And don't forget the greasy chain-rub imprint that occurs on the inside of your right calf when stopped at lights with a foot down. Someone told me that only happens to Freds.
--Proudly a Fred

P.S. Last weekend I saw a guy with half a chainring (literally) tattooed to his lower thigh.
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Old 10-14-05, 01:11 PM
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Heck! I am glad I still have some hair to get messed up!!! Perhaps, that is why I now wear a helmet. Bob
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Old 10-14-05, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by GrannyGear
And don't forget the greasy chain-rub imprint that occurs on the inside of your right calf when stopped at lights with a foot down. Someone told me that only happens to Freds.
We call that a "Rookie Mark".
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Old 10-14-05, 01:22 PM
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I need more cowbell.
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I think I may have solved the problem. However, this is a photoshop solution...heh heh:
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Old 10-14-05, 01:32 PM
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What is this "helmet hair" that you talk about? My hairline started receeding before I finished grade school. By 17, when I started college, it was bad, but allowed me to buy beer without getting carded. Now my helmet protects me from both crashes and the sun.
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Old 10-14-05, 01:54 PM
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DO NOT LOOSE THE HAIR! My helmet hair is sooo bad that I just don't usually take off my helmet at stops. And the doo-rag dealies work well for some people (esp. pirates - yaarrr!), but people just assume that your'e bald (or, that you're a pirate). If you've still got it, flaunt it.
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Old 10-14-05, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by GrannyGear
And don't forget the greasy chain-rub imprint that occurs on the inside of your right calf when stopped at lights with a foot down. Someone told me that only happens to Freds.
--Proudly a Fred

P.S. Last weekend I saw a guy with half a chainring (literally) tattooed to his lower thigh.
Noobiesville

Haven't had one of those for say - a week?

Naw, I really don't tattoo myself any more.
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Old 10-14-05, 04:28 PM
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Gary, now I know you. You played mobster Frankie Pantangeli in "Godfather 2". Your passion wasn't cycling, it was whacking the Sforza brothers.
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Old 10-14-05, 05:01 PM
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No hair left; consequently no worry about 'helmet hair!'
Besides, I always wear a cycling cap so as not to get the tanned imprint of helmet ventholes on my skull!
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Old 10-14-05, 05:12 PM
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I need more cowbell.
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Originally Posted by GrannyGear
Gary, now I know you. You played mobster Frankie Pantangeli in "Godfather 2". Your passion wasn't cycling, it was whacking the Sforza brothers.

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Old 10-14-05, 07:10 PM
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[QUOTE= Someone told me that only happens to Freds.
--Proudly a Fred

P.S. Last weekend I saw a guy with half a chainring (literally) tattooed to his lower thigh.[/QUOTE]

Freds???

I have a chainring tattoo on my right calf from my 2nd or 3rd time in clipless.
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Old 10-14-05, 08:01 PM
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"Freds"....the dweebs of the cycling world....instead of pocket protectors, they sport kickstands (damned handy gizmo if you ask me!), wear old Bell Biker helmets, ride in argyle socks pulled up to their calves, wear t-shirts instead of jerseys, ride lugged steel (hehe), and are generally laughable and don't belong to the elite tribe called "serious cyclist". Oh yes, the also think "carbon fibre" is an aid to regularity.

Come to think of it, sounds like most of us! (Glassman and his Scattante excluded.)
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Old 10-14-05, 09:27 PM
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What's "hair?"
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Old 10-14-05, 09:38 PM
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I need more cowbell.
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Originally Posted by GrannyGear
"Freds"....the dweebs of the cycling world....instead of pocket protectors, they sport kickstands (damned handy gizmo if you ask me!), wear old Bell Biker helmets, ride in argyle socks pulled up to their calves, wear t-shirts instead of jerseys, ride lugged steel (hehe), and are generally laughable and don't belong to the elite tribe called "serious cyclist". Oh yes, the also think "carbon fibre" is an aid to regularity.

Come to think of it, sounds like most of us! (Glassman and his Scattante excluded.)

I'm a proud member of the Fred club.
I insisted the LBS mount a kickstand on my bike, I not only wear t-shirts but look for sales on loud ones (red, yellow, orange and the like), and wear running shoes on platform peddles.

Matter of fact, I found some long sleeved t-shirts at a DRUGSTORE, for God's sake, for $5 each, so I snapped up a couple. I'll wear them when the weather turns cooler, and maybe even put one of my bright yellow t-shirts on top.

Oh, and I also wear basketball shorts instead of biking shorts, 9 times out of 10.

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Old 10-15-05, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Digital Gee

I'm a proud member of the Fred club.
I insisted the LBS mount a kickstand on my bike, I not only wear t-shirts but look for sales on loud ones (red, yellow, orange and the like), and wear running shoes on platform peddles.

Matter of fact, I found some long sleeved t-shirts at a DRUGSTORE, for God's sake, for $5 each, so I snapped up a couple. I'll wear them when the weather turns cooler, and maybe even put one of my bright yellow t-shirts on top.

Oh, and I also wear basketball shorts instead of biking shorts, 9 times out of 10.

Sounds like my attire. Just substitute Bata Bikers for the running shoes & running shorts for BB shorts.
That's why helmet hair is of no concern. Bob
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Old 10-15-05, 08:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Digital Gee

I'm a proud member of the Fred club.
I insisted the LBS mount a kickstand on my bike, I not only wear t-shirts but look for sales on loud ones (red, yellow, orange and the like), and wear running shoes on platform peddles.

Matter of fact, I found some long sleeved t-shirts at a DRUGSTORE, for God's sake, for $5 each, so I snapped up a couple. I'll wear them when the weather turns cooler, and maybe even put one of my bright yellow t-shirts on top.

Oh, and I also wear basketball shorts instead of biking shorts, 9 times out of 10.

I guess I suffer from schizophrenia!

There are days when I am so Fred it would put you folks to shame.

Tennies with dangling shoelaces, a rubber band around my jeans pants leg, t shirt and sweat whirt.

Others like yesterday:

My "Ride the Rockies" beautiful bicycling lycra jersey over my Lycra bibs, Shimano SPD clip-in sandals.

Sort of depends on the bicycle I am riding.

For comfort, you just can't beat the lycra.
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Old 10-15-05, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Digital Gee
So, what should I do? Must I wear a babushka under the helmet? Ignore the passionate if impolite staring? What???
I keep my hair buzzed since I started cycling. It's usually about 1/4" long at the max. I do, however get "helmet stripes" from the sun coming through in the summer time.

That must be why Linda calls me a tiger

Steve
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Old 10-15-05, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Digital Gee

I'm a proud member of the Fred club.
I insisted the LBS mount a kickstand on my bike, I not only wear t-shirts but look for sales on loud ones (red, yellow, orange and the like), and wear running shoes on platform peddles.
The "Fred" club. That's funny. I never heard that one before.

For the longest time, I never wore spandex or lycra. Now, that's all I wear on rides. Before that, one of my favorite shirts was a long sleeve bright tie-dye henley. I still have it, but I just don't wear it on rides anymore.

Steve
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Old 10-16-05, 12:53 PM
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I still have Tire Savers on my Mondia. Does this qualify me as a Fred? Bob
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Old 10-16-05, 01:04 PM
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I came back from delving into the bargain box at my local LBS with a Turquoise and red long sleeve top. I proudly announced to my family that I should be seen in this brightly coloured top. The Only replay came from my eldest daughter which was " Not with me you won't"
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Old 10-16-05, 01:54 PM
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Yes....kinda like Zorro being disguised as effete, mincing Don WhateverHisNameWas. You're out there motoring along in your argyles and are passed on the left by a smirking, young lycra/titanium/carbon fiber cyclobot. You tear off your Rivendell certified poplin shirt, and reveal a tie died henley beneath...........which is a blur as you blast by him and on over the horizon.

In the meantime, proud to be fred.
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Old 10-16-05, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Digital Gee
I think I may have solved the problem. However, this is a photoshop solution...heh heh:
For some of us, that solution isn't "Photoshop" !!!
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