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We aren't alone

Fifty Plus (50+) Share the victories, challenges, successes and special concerns of bicyclists 50 and older. Especially useful for those entering or reentering bicycling.

We aren't alone

Old 06-08-11, 01:47 AM
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We aren't alone

No, not sci-fi, but more to do with how we tie ourselves in knots and keeping to ourselves problems.

This thread had its genesis in a comment by Retro Grouch about how helpful it is knowing that others had experienced something of the frustrations he is having getting motivated again with his cycling.

It got me thinking. It's a feeling that 50+ people can leave themselves open to for reasons such as becoming more isolated as family grows and leaves home, or the job bosses get younger and younger.

There have been occasions when I have kept things to myself only to find others had experienced them, too.

I can think of a female boss I used to have who was the domestic partner of the chairman. She was extremely difficult to work for and with, and when I left the organisation after three years, I felt it was all "my fault".

Then I found out she treated others the same way, and they had similar feelings. Another, luckily for him, was able to cope with the battering and survived much, much longer in the business... without it affecting his nice guy-ness.

I've also had the odd medical issue. In one case, I had an enlarged gonad, and when my doctor diagnosed it as being non-malignant and nothing really worth worrying about, he related the tale about an Italian familly for whom the family symbol was three balls.

So, what have you done that has left you feeling as though you are the "single voice", then you've found you are but a member of a much larger choir (so to speak)?
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Old 06-08-11, 02:18 AM
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Some things I find frustrating...
First, bike shops. Being older, seems the young buck race conscious salespeople never take me 'seriously'...seem to want to point me in the direction of the comfort bikes and beach cruisers, ha. I take biking very seriously and want to compete, even if only against myself. But...I'm old now [to them, ha], and certainly not the adonis lithe body of a twenty year old.
Second, is CONNECTING with others who like the things I do...and have the same general attitudes. That's probably my fault due to my personality, but I end up training and riding alone. I really envy some of these husband and wife 'teams' who attend some of these touring events. This forum seems to be the only 'outlet' for sharing the adventure [for me anyway]. If God ever does this again [if there is such a thing], he should program into the design a 'better' way that people of like attitudes and interests 'connect', ha. Life could be a pretty good thing...but for lack of this one thing, empty [even if full of adventure].
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Old 06-08-11, 08:42 AM
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I've actually become more social as I've aged. I can't point to a reason why that has happened, except to perhaps more confidence in myself. I was a solo rider for a long time and started group rides (and joined the local club) just last July. I've made many new acquaintances through that, some have friend potential. That's a good thing!

Husband and wife or partners? It would be nice to have a relationship with someone with my interests so we could share, but I have difficulties in relationships and have about given up on the idea. That's about all I'll say on that subject.

Work? I am the chick at work! I'm at the point in my career where I'm weary of "challenges" and I just want to go home at night and forget about the whole thing. I've had a good career, despite being a woman in a "man's world" (I'm in aviation). I've stayed away from potential trouble (read: fooling around with coworkers), and I've been good at what I do. However, I am, as I said, tired of it all now.

Oh, yeah...try being a woman, an older woman, and walking into an LBS. It's even worse if you know what you're talking about! However, I just nod my head and smile. I eventually get my way!

This forum has been a wonderful place to share cycling highs and lows, adventures, ideas, and knowledge. It is a social gathering, too, but it's superficial, mostly, and that's okay with me. That said, it would be fun to go ride with some of the folks on here, and write about it the next day!

Thoughtful topic, thank you!
"Can you add a signature line please? The lack of words makes me think you are being held hostage and being told to be quiet"
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Old 06-08-11, 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Ron Harry
Second, is CONNECTING with others who like the things I do...and have the same general attitudes. That's probably my fault due to my personality, but I end up training and riding alone. I really envy some of these husband and wife 'teams' who attend some of these touring events. This forum seems to be the only 'outlet' for sharing the adventure [for me anyway].
Ditto on this for me. However, you might actually connect with someone via this forum if you put your location in your avatar See the relevant thread in this same forum for instructions. Not that I have yet, but at least putting a location makes it a possibility.

Personally, I am getting less and less connected to people at work, as the team I am now on is so dispersed that I rarely interact with them, and the others around are mostly younger with kids at home and focused on them, while those my age don't share interests. I definitely need to join up with some sort of cycling club but being an introvert makes that difficult.

Last edited by KillerBeagle; 06-08-11 at 09:13 AM.
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Old 06-08-11, 12:28 PM
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I may be way off base but here goes:
>Almost everybody is discriminated against for some reason. "You are a conservative; I'm a liberal and you are nuts. Or the reverse" "You are too old, or too young, or the wrong color, "You are male/female", etc"
>People are lazy and so would rather pigeon hole others than find ouit more abouit them. Of course our hyperactive society doesn't help a lot in this.
>Shedding and gaining friends as life goes on and interests change is natural and should be accepted as such. Our interests change so do, and should our friends. Doesn't mean they become enemies. Rather they become treasured heirlooms from the past.
>Look at nature around you. The old saw "Birds of a feather flock togther is demonstrably true in much of nature. We are part of nature. Why should we be any different?
>We need to adopt a positive attitude of accepting What Is rather than worrying or complaining about What Isn't/Should Be.
>We take ourselves way too seriously. In the geologic scale of our planet we are relative recent creatures and given what science tells us we may not have a whole lot of years left on it. Oh, the planet and life on it will survive; but we may not.

Just a few perspective thoughts.
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