The Big Deal.
 

On August 4, 2009, I was having fun riding with my grandson and everything was going GREAT! One second later, I swerved to keep from running into him, fell and broke both of my elbows. I've been screwed up every since.

The following February Mrs. Grouch suggested that, if I wasn't up to riding conventional bikes, we would have to either switch to recumbents or find different lifestyle. Switching to recumbents hasn't come easily for the grouch. Every tiny little detail has been an issue - getting started smoothly is a biggie, looking side-to-side for traffic is more difficult, drinking while moving, even shifting is a little different. I had a terrible time getting acclimated to my new SWB recumbent and I'm still not completely there. If riding a single recumbent was bad, trying to ride a tandem recumbent was doubly difficult. We seriously struggled.

All this adversity has been messing with my head. Several times Mrs. Grouch and I drove our Screamer tandem somewhere, assembled it to ride, and I freaked out and simply wasn't able to do it. I continued to struggle and had around 10 sessions with a Psychologist. I did make some progress and was able to complete several 50 mile rides last Summer, but I never regained that carefree feeling that I used to have when I rode. We continued to struggle with the tandem. We drove 35 miles for a ride on Mother's Day 2011, and never even got launched. We did a major Tombay and I got a serious concussion. We continued to try and attempted the same ride on Labor Day. Nearing the end we caught a wheel on the edge of the trail, fell and I broke my femur.

I haven't had a doctor's diagnosis of PTSD, but I'm pretty sure that I've got it. I rode this morning and did pretty well but, on my way to the ride, I could feel the tension growing in my arms and shoulders. I'm convinced that the anxiety and tension has contributed to all of the falls that I've had since the elbow incident. The question is: how to eliminate that anxiety and tension? I've visited a Psychologist but didn't feel she did me very much good. Maybe a different Psychologist would be better. "Getting back on the horse" hasn't been working very fell for me. So far I haven't tried any medications. As I posted in another thread, the most successful thing has been "EFT" as practiced by my son-in-law.

So that's the big deal. You don't get to 20,000 posts on a bicycling board unless bicycling is a pretty significant part of your lifestyle. Right now that part of my life isn't going so well and I'd like to get it back.

Are you afraid that you will fall again? Would you feel more stable on a trike?

Congrats on 20 million posts! :-)

You've had what seems to me as an incredible string of bad luck. I don't have any advice except I think you're correct when you wonder if a different psychologist may be more helpful. Psychologists, like any other profession, tend to be best at an aspect of their profession. I'd shop for one that either specializes, or has a lot of experience, in overcoming your issues.

Ask very clear questions if they are skilled.

Me too, pal
 

[QUOTE=Retro Grouch;14355739]I never regained that carefree feeling that I used to have when I rode. QUOTE]

That's a pretty brave and frank post, and I think it's one of the best things about BF that people can be open and confident of a supportive reply.

You and I have exchanged injury stories, and wished each other well. I do so again now.

If I can mention my own feelings now, just to empathise....

I still love riding my bike, but I'm so inhibited. I won't let the bike roll free on a downhill, and I hate riding in close company - if a good friend and sound bike-handler wants to be alongside to chat, I explain why I don't want proximity and I'd prefer to shout.

I just wish you some easing of the anxiety, which will probably come with more times of less demanding rides. Hang tough

Wishing you the best on your recoveries. Due to road racing, cyclocross and mtb riding I crash too often, but have yet to have a significant injury and getting back on the bike has been a 2nd thought after checking myself and the bike out. I hope you will find some therapy or mechanisms that will enable you to regain the confidence to put the nasty thoughts behind.

Lots of bad luck there. I haven't much to offer that is useful beyond good wishes, but one thought occurs to me. Switching to a recumbent does not seem to have done much for your confidence, in fact, from your account, it sounds as if you feel less safe on a 'bent. Sure you wouldn't be better off trying a conventional bike again?

So, this is the 20,000 post!!!

I'm getting close, as you can tell by the post count.

My only advice is that time is a great healer, helped along with whatever resources one might find, such as someone to talk things through.

As I am going through my 70's, I am riding more and more and more simply for the pleasure of being out in the open/nature, enjoying the little things - this morning the wife and I went for a 7 am ride - the birds wre singing wonderfully, there were some friendly folks and we chatted, my LBS guy passed us and as he passed we chatted a bit, I let the wife lead and followed at a very low speed.

We didn't go very far, nor did we care how far or how fast we went.

We just enjoyed the ride for what it was worth. A relaxing time together. Lot's of folks - as I read the obituaries - no longer have those times. I don't want to miss out on them.

FWIW

+1 I was wondering the same thing or do you need a tandem to get Mrs. Grouch out with you?

That's quite a string of crashes. Is there a way of riding you can think of that might be enough different that it would break the down cycle (npi)?

I'll go along with the suggestions of trying a trike. There are also tandem trikes available as well. My wife & I both have tadpole trikes (2 wheels in front); they're built fairly low and wide, so ithey're about as stable as you can get. Plus, even if you do manage to roll a trike, you're not falling very far; my trike sits fairly high for a tadpole, and the seat height on it's about 18-20". I probably average about 10 mph or so on the trike, but that's not the trike's fault. I'm badly out of shape, but even at that I can do a half mile or so at 18+ mph - the trike's willing, but the flesh is weak! ;)

Another vote for the trike. There's a guy near my office who rides one and I have to admit they're pretty cool. Man, are they ever low to the ground! I'm glad he has a big orange flag on the end of it.

Maybe a more upright bike, like a beach crusier, or a crank forward bike like a Townie, and short east rides would help. Build some stength, and confidence with lower stress. You had(are having) a string of loses, putting one in the win column will do wonders.
Good Luck.

See a therapist that does cognitive behavior therapy.

I had a terrible fear of flying after I was in a small plane that had a near miss with the tree line and a difficult landing into a lake. I started CBT to work through getting past the anxiety using various tools. I didn't stick with it. While I was doing this therapy my FIL was suffering health problems and we persuaded him to come live with us. He said that if he got on a plane he would die. We persuaded him that he would be fine and my spouse and FIL got on a plane to come to our home. He died on the plane. My spouse had to sit out part of the flight with his dead father beside him. I'll never fly--I quit going to therapy after he died. If I go to an airport to pick up my spouse my palms sweat.

But you love to bike. I don't give a crap about flying. CBT is work. It takes a good therapist. But it can be very successful.

I also like the idea of a trike--maybe you and your wife could get a couple of delta trikes. With kits a lot of them can be joined into tandems.

The other option is a crank forward, like a Rans, where you can stop with both feet flat on the ground.

RG,
No easy answer here, just that I have followed all the bad things you have had to endure since I joined here. I will offer that I have had 16 surgeries since 2000, several times they wrote me off. I guess getting the support from my family and church is what got me through and with a better outlook than when it all started. I am sure Mrs. Grouch is with you totally, take strength from her support. I can't offer a solution to you but I will tell you that I have kept you on my prayer board through this and won't take you off anytime soon. Please keep all of us posted on your trials and any progress you may have. Best wishes for a recovery to come your way.

Bill

Actually, a trike is under serious consideration.

Mrs. Grouch has a Greenspeed trike that she loves. I've ridden it but it's a loooong way down to the seat and even farther getting back up. Also, being tadpole style, it won't link to make a tandem. Both bikes fit inside our Honda Element, but we have to disassemble and fold the Greenspeed. We have done some rides together, me on my SWB, but it's not the same as tandemming.

In August we are traveling to Stevens Point, Wisconsin for the Midwest Recumbent Rally. I have already contacted the good people at Hostel Shoppe about arranging a test ride for 2 (delta style) Greenspeed Anuras that we can link together. They were receptive but I didn't hear a firm promise. I'm also wondering how much disassembly will be necessary to fit the 2 Anuras inside our Element.

We'd probably want one of those "Tandem Talk" communication devices too. All it takes is money. Just means I'll move in with one of the kids a few months sooner.

My thinking is that only you know your abilities and your limits. If you still have the coordination, reflexes and skills to ride, you know that you can ride. If you are riding for health reasons, then you have to decided if the risk reward ratio is good enough to continue to ride.

I can't remember any sport or exercise that I have done and not suffered some injuries.

Every time that I clip a foot onto a pedal, I am on full alert for the unexpected. It is not fun to crash. I like to ride but if I ever get too spooked to ride, then I will move on to something more suitable.

I hope that you can get things sorted out and make the decision which is right for you. I feel like it is very important for you to not be influenced by peer pressure. Just do what is right for you.

Have you thought about a higher recumbent trike like the EZ3?

Sun Bikes

Utah Bikes

Use advanced brain-washing techniques.
1. Eat pie Before your ride. Train yourself to feel guilty if you don't burn off those calories.
2. Slap your grandchild. Little bugger never should have cut you off. I know its a little late for road rage, but see what you can work up.
3. n+1. Buy a new two wheeled object. Ride it a bit, and if it isn't the one, Buy another until you find it. Make it a quest. Remember there is not upper limit to n.
4. Be a BF poser, or poseur as they say in France. Don't ride anything that doesn't contribute to climate change. But stay on BF and keep us entertained by your fine wit and dry sense of Ha-ha.

We all know how important cycling is to you, so I sincerely hope you are able to overcome this so you can fully enjoy the activity once again.
I've no advice to offer in this regard, just best wishes.

May i suggest Bugs Bunny
or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0D6D...layer_embedded

my prayers are with you.

You know, it's been almost 3 years. My grandson asked Mrs. Grouch recently if I blamed him for making me fall. He was 9 at the time. I think that's a serious load of guilt for a 9 year old to carry. Besides, I don't think that it was his fault anyway.

Hello RG,

First off, it takes a lot of courage to post a message like yours and be honest. I commend you for that.

The last couple of years have been very difficult for me. I lost my dear wife when she passed away in August 2010. She had four lawsuits against clients that were in progress when she passed away. They went to mediation and the client's lawyer via the mediator had the nerve to tell me, since your wife is dead your case is weak!

My two grown sons have had some personal and legal issues that they have had to deal with the last couple of years....some unresolved...so that wears on me.

But I decided about a year ago I had to get out and do something different, and that was cycling. It has been a tremendous blessing for me and I've made some great friends, something I've never been good at.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we as humans have an amazing way of overcoming many things in our lives. My late wives family was such a blessing for those first six months I was in shock after losing my wife. I will never, never forget that, ever. My faith has gotten me through many tough times.

When I feel sorry for myself I come to grips and remind myself that many other people have their own issues that they somehow overcome via their sheer fortitude, friends and professional help.

I don't know if I can help any but I truly believe you will overcome this issue, I have faith in you. Reach out to your family, friends and seek the professional help you need. Here' s looking forward to you getting back to where you want to be and there is always an open door to a visit to south Texas to ride or just a visit. I'd be more than happy to meet you and your wife...a change in scenery might be good :)

Hang in there I know you can overcome this!

There's your motivation to get over this as well as you can. Get the guilt load off your grandson. :)

I sympathise to a degree with you. I still have apprehension about descending on winding roads when they are wet. I probably won't ever go as quickly down them as I did before I came off and dislocated my shoulder eight or nine years ago.

But, that incident didn't stop me from riding. It just was that I had to do a lot of it before I was more comfortable in certain conditions.

I'd also get rid of your current tandem. It seems to be a liability, for reasons I don't know, but I'd venture to say that two-wheel recumbent are more difficult to balance in a straight line let alone a tandem one.

My feeling is that once it's gone, you've got a clean slate to start again, and the temptation to persist with getting a successful ride in on it will disappear. You can then concentrate on finding the bike that suits you.

Also, have you had a check for osteoporosis?

But under any circumstance, keep posting here with your advice and experiences.

Retro:

I am not a professional by any means, but it certainly sounds as though you are suffering from PTSD.

It is an unfortunate feature of human biology that when we suffer a traumatic event, our bodies produce stress hormones which serve to "cement" the memory of the event in our brain. This is nature's way of helping us learn to avoid dangerous situations in the future. Unfortunately, in a situation like yours, this means that an activity you love--cycling--now has a very strong negative associations in your mind. This was only compounded by the subsequent cycling accidents you endured.

What to do about it?

If nothing else, stick with the EFT you've been practicing. You yourself stated that it seems to be helping. You have been able to go on some long rides. When you are able to complete a ride, take some time to review the ride in your mind. Reflect on the positive things which came out of the ride. In this way, you are reinforcing the positive feedback from the ride. This will help to degrade the negative associations (actually, a negative neural pathway) in your brain and help build new, positive associations (neural pathways) in your brain.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

I am a huge believer in CBT. Several years ago, I read two fascinating books about the recent research in neuroplasticity--the ability of the human brain to grow new neural pathways: The Mind and the Brain, by Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Sharon Begley (see the Amazon.com entry at http://tinyurl.com/838ksdu ), and The Brain That Changes Itself, by Norman Doidge, M.D. (see the Amazon.com entry at http://www.tinyurl.com/7n93xnd .) In particular, The Mind and the Brain has a long chapter which discusses how modern cognitive research has demonstrated how CBT helps get rid of negative neural pathways and grow new, positive neural pathways. A superb introduction to CBT written for the popular audience is Dr. David D. Burns' Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (see the Amanzon.com entry at http://tinyurl.com/7zfjrh7 ).

Hypnosis

Forget all the unfortunate stereotypes about hypnosis which are perpetuated by the media. A competent professional hypnotist can help his clients rid themselves of deeply rooted fears and phobias. Here's a link to a wonderful "TV Magazine" story about hypnosis. One of the stories in this video is how a young woman with a debilitating fear of spiders was cured with the aid of hypnosis (just click on one of the links immediately to the right of the camera icon in the middle of the screen): http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/s1440855.htm .

Meditation and/or Yoga

It has been demonstrated that these disciplines also help one grow new neural pathways in the brain. If nothing else, they are superb stress relievers.

The best of luck to you. I sincerely hope you are able to find a solution which will allow you to enjoy cycling like you used to--without the stress.