Stop Press - Cameron's Bike Nicked..
07-24-08, 11:51 AM
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Mr Andrew Grassie
Tesco Customer Services
Dear Mr Grassie
You may have seen the news on national television today - my bicycle was stolen from outside one of your London stores, even though it was locked up.
You will recall recent correspondence from some of the saner members of the Folding Bicycle Forum in which you declined to allow folding bicycles into your store. You will now note that if cyclists leave bicycles outside your store as per your 'policy' they will be certainly be stolen by urchins, tosspots, and vagabonds.
Indeed the National Press newshounds are hot on the trail of the 'facts' behind this important story, and will probably ring you up a lot if I happen to give them your number by mistake.
Kindly revoke this silly policy at once, so that cyclists may roam freely in your stores, carrying their beloved cycles with them, thus released from the worry and duress about leaving bikes outside.
If Winston Churchill, or the Queen turned up at a Tesco store with a folding bicycle, you would not turn them away, would you?
Anyway, it's a very silly policy. As you may know, Tesco is a retailer of folding bicycles, and if they are not allowed in your stores, how may anyone buy one? Eh?
Quad et demonstrandum as we say in Parliament.
The free passage of bicycles over the Queen's domain is guaranteed by the Magna Carta, and if you don't immediately allow folding bicycles into your stores, come the next election, when I become the new Prime Minister, I will immediately have you summoned to the Tower, and then beheaded for treason, or something.
Res ipsa loquitur as we say in Parliament.
It would serve you jolly well right.
Sincerely:
Rt Hon. David Cameron MP.
Witney, Oxon
Ps. My wife says you're cruel to chickens. ' Abutebaris pollo denuo', as we say in Parliament.
Tesco Customer Services
Dear Mr Grassie
You may have seen the news on national television today - my bicycle was stolen from outside one of your London stores, even though it was locked up.
You will recall recent correspondence from some of the saner members of the Folding Bicycle Forum in which you declined to allow folding bicycles into your store. You will now note that if cyclists leave bicycles outside your store as per your 'policy' they will be certainly be stolen by urchins, tosspots, and vagabonds.
Indeed the National Press newshounds are hot on the trail of the 'facts' behind this important story, and will probably ring you up a lot if I happen to give them your number by mistake.
Kindly revoke this silly policy at once, so that cyclists may roam freely in your stores, carrying their beloved cycles with them, thus released from the worry and duress about leaving bikes outside.
If Winston Churchill, or the Queen turned up at a Tesco store with a folding bicycle, you would not turn them away, would you?
Anyway, it's a very silly policy. As you may know, Tesco is a retailer of folding bicycles, and if they are not allowed in your stores, how may anyone buy one? Eh?
Quad et demonstrandum as we say in Parliament.
The free passage of bicycles over the Queen's domain is guaranteed by the Magna Carta, and if you don't immediately allow folding bicycles into your stores, come the next election, when I become the new Prime Minister, I will immediately have you summoned to the Tower, and then beheaded for treason, or something.
Res ipsa loquitur as we say in Parliament.
It would serve you jolly well right.
Sincerely:
Rt Hon. David Cameron MP.
Witney, Oxon
Ps. My wife says you're cruel to chickens. ' Abutebaris pollo denuo', as we say in Parliament.
Last edited by snafu21; 07-24-08 at 12:12 PM.
07-24-08, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by snafu21
Mr Andrew Grassie
Tesco Customer Services
Dear Mr Grassie
You may have seen the news on national television today - my bicycle was stolen from outside one of your London stores, even though it was locked up.
You will recall recent correspondence from some of the saner members of the Folding Bicycle Forum in which you declined to allow folding bicycles into your store. You will now note that if cyclists leave bicycles outside your store as per your 'policy' they will be certainly be stolen by urchins and vagabonds. Indeed the National Press newshounds are hot on the trail of the 'facts' behind this important story.
Kindly revoke this silly policy at once, so that cyclists may roam freely in your stores, carrying their beloved cycles with them, thus released from the worry and duress about leaving bikes outside.
If Winston Churchill, or the Queen turned up at a Tesco store with a folding bicycle, you would not turn them away, would you?
Anyway, it's a very silly policy. As you may know, Tesco is a retailer of folding bicycles, and if they are not allowed in your stores, how may anyone buy one? Eh? Quad et demonstrandum as we say in Parliament.
If you don't immediately allow folding bicycles into your stores, you may care to ponder that, come the next election, I will certainly become the new Prime Minister, and immediately have you summoned to the Tower, and then beheaded. Res ipsa loquitur as we say in Parliament.
It would serve you jolly well right.
Sincerely:
Rt Hon. David Cameron MP.
Ps. My wife says you're cruel to chickens.
Tesco Customer Services
Dear Mr Grassie
You may have seen the news on national television today - my bicycle was stolen from outside one of your London stores, even though it was locked up.
You will recall recent correspondence from some of the saner members of the Folding Bicycle Forum in which you declined to allow folding bicycles into your store. You will now note that if cyclists leave bicycles outside your store as per your 'policy' they will be certainly be stolen by urchins and vagabonds. Indeed the National Press newshounds are hot on the trail of the 'facts' behind this important story.
Kindly revoke this silly policy at once, so that cyclists may roam freely in your stores, carrying their beloved cycles with them, thus released from the worry and duress about leaving bikes outside.
If Winston Churchill, or the Queen turned up at a Tesco store with a folding bicycle, you would not turn them away, would you?
Anyway, it's a very silly policy. As you may know, Tesco is a retailer of folding bicycles, and if they are not allowed in your stores, how may anyone buy one? Eh? Quad et demonstrandum as we say in Parliament.
If you don't immediately allow folding bicycles into your stores, you may care to ponder that, come the next election, I will certainly become the new Prime Minister, and immediately have you summoned to the Tower, and then beheaded. Res ipsa loquitur as we say in Parliament.
It would serve you jolly well right.
Sincerely:
Rt Hon. David Cameron MP.
Ps. My wife says you're cruel to chickens.
As per the recent Tesco thread, you have been clearly told that it is Tesco's property rights to do what we want, customers do not matter. In addition we do not need to justify our policies to you unless we need planning permission to demolish the Houses of Parliament and build a super duper Tesco flagship store with loads of apartments that MP's can rent on their expense accounts for free. In addition a forum representative from Riga (secretly working for us) clearly told you that Tesco kindly provide bike racks and that if you use a NY3000 lock instead of a chain such a thing would never ever happen in the UK.
I'd like to point out there are sanitation issues as some of your regulars on these forums ride folders downhill and collect horse and cow poo for a hobby which would cause us concern if it infected our poor chickens lying peacefully in the fridges.
I would suggest we are more than happy to let you wheel a bike to the checkout each time as long as you buy it from Tesco on each visit. However the previous one won't be allowed in. Finally, perhaps if you some of you used a Tesco bike in the first place rather than buying fancy contraptions the thieves wouldn't bother stealing them!
Yous Unsincerely,
Sir Terry-ible Peahy
CEO of the mighty Tescoli PLC (Watch out Walmart)
07-24-08, 01:09 PM
#4
Life in Mono
Love the banter Snafu (& Mulleady)
I Wonder which bike co is most aligned with the tories to offer him some free wheels like Trek did for Bush .. in hindsight that may have been a dubious decision .. (or is that dub-yer-us
.
All Riese for the The right Hon camBeltdrive
Bromptories unite and get Downtube work !
I Wonder which bike co is most aligned with the tories to offer him some free wheels like Trek did for Bush .. in hindsight that may have been a dubious decision .. (or is that dub-yer-us
.All Riese for the The right Hon camBeltdrive
Bromptories unite and get Downtube work !
07-24-08, 01:31 PM
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Ah - I think this is brilliant!!! The (possible) future prime minister has his bike nicked and only a matter of days after Tesco's anti-bike policy is spread all over here. Superb! Obviously poor Dave, but if I get stopped by security holding my bike in store, certainly adds to the desire not to leave it locked outside!
07-24-08, 01:31 PM
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What is entirely Very Silly in this complete PR Cycling fubar, is that Tesco's have volunteered to donate the value of Cameron's allegedly stolen bike, to a cycling charity.
We live in interesting times. Morever, the Man Who Wants To Lead The Country is himself a ne'er do well, and cycling renegade:
Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised after being photographed ignoring red lights and cycling the wrong way up a one-way street. Pictures in the Daily Mirror newspaper showed the politician breaching traffic rules as he cycled to work.
"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," Mr Cameron said in a statement.
-BBC
Vote for me. I sometimes cycle on sidewalks, and once, I stole a traffic cone. I was at uni though, so it doesn't count as a felony.
Let the war-cry ring out! SNAFU FOR PM!
We live in interesting times. Morever, the Man Who Wants To Lead The Country is himself a ne'er do well, and cycling renegade:
Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised after being photographed ignoring red lights and cycling the wrong way up a one-way street. Pictures in the Daily Mirror newspaper showed the politician breaching traffic rules as he cycled to work.
"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," Mr Cameron said in a statement.
-BBC
Vote for me. I sometimes cycle on sidewalks, and once, I stole a traffic cone. I was at uni though, so it doesn't count as a felony.
Let the war-cry ring out! SNAFU FOR PM!
Last edited by snafu21; 07-24-08 at 01:34 PM.
07-24-08, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by snafu21
What is entirely Very Silly in this complete PR Cycling fubar, is that Tesco's have volunteered to donate the value of Cameron's allegedly stolen bike, to a cycling charity.
We live in interesting times. Morever, the Man Who Wants To Lead The Country is himself a ne'er do well, and cycling renegade:
Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised after being photographed ignoring red lights and cycling the wrong way up a one-way street. Pictures in the Daily Mirror newspaper showed the politician breaching traffic rules as he cycled to work.
"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," Mr Cameron said in a statement.
-BBC
Vote for me. I sometimes cycle on sidewalks, and once, I stole a traffic cone. I was at uni though, so it doesn't count as a felony.
We live in interesting times. Morever, the Man Who Wants To Lead The Country is himself a ne'er do well, and cycling renegade:
Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised after being photographed ignoring red lights and cycling the wrong way up a one-way street. Pictures in the Daily Mirror newspaper showed the politician breaching traffic rules as he cycled to work.
"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," Mr Cameron said in a statement.
-BBC
Vote for me. I sometimes cycle on sidewalks, and once, I stole a traffic cone. I was at uni though, so it doesn't count as a felony.
07-24-08, 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by mulleady
Been up one way streets the wrong way myself albeit cautiously. Nightmare around Tottenham Court Road and Oxford St! The only thing Cameron the Chameleon and I have in common
07-24-08, 03:46 PM
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If I could afford to, I'd give him a Downtube. The publicity would be priceless......
(runs off to email Yan)
(runs off to email Yan)
07-24-08, 03:54 PM
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Would be a brillliant PR move especially if his downtube could change colours as many times as Cameron the Chameleon.
Now there's a thought a new model called the Downtube Chameleon and presented to Cameron on its launch as a PR stunt by Sammyboy in his full naked regalia
I suspect Snafu already has a Downtube Cham that changes from orange to white to black depending on its moods
Now there's a thought a new model called the Downtube Chameleon and presented to Cameron on its launch as a PR stunt by Sammyboy in his full naked regalia
I suspect Snafu already has a Downtube Cham that changes from orange to white to black depending on its moods
07-24-08, 04:26 PM
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I'm a bit proud of myself for knowing who Snafu meant by Cameron before I had read the article. It looks like TiVo-ing the House of Commons on CSPAN2 has come in handy. I love watching that. I'd relish the sight of American politicians berating each other like that. I do kind of feel bad for him, cause at least he doesn't drive everywhere. I can't imagine the head of the conservative party here riding a bicycle, not for recreation and certainly not for commuting. The cons here drive their 10 mpg SUVs to go twenty feet, while throwing trash out the window and burning tires doused in gasoline.
Cameron looks tough, I wouldn't take his bike. Now Clegg, I'd take his bike. I'm on the same political side, but he looks like a wuss... I could take him.
Cameron looks tough, I wouldn't take his bike. Now Clegg, I'd take his bike. I'm on the same political side, but he looks like a wuss... I could take him.
07-24-08, 07:58 PM
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Labour, either corrupt or incompetent or...
https://news.google.com/news?ned=uk&n...ic=h&scoring=n
https://ukpress.google.com/article/AL...xqwAbynnmF0L_A
Labour beaten in by-election shock
9 minutes ago
Labour has sensationally been beaten by the Scottish National Party in the Glasgow East by-election.
The SNP's John Mason won 11,277 votes (43.08% of the poll), up 26% on his party's vote in the 2005 General Election. He beat Labour candidate Margaret Curran - already a Glasgow MSP - on 10,912 (41.69%) as the Labour vote fell by nearly 19%.
The result is a devastating blow to PM Gordon Brown and one of the biggest by-election upsets in political history.
https://news.google.com/news?ned=uk&n...ic=h&scoring=n
https://ukpress.google.com/article/AL...xqwAbynnmF0L_A
Labour beaten in by-election shock
9 minutes ago
Labour has sensationally been beaten by the Scottish National Party in the Glasgow East by-election.
The SNP's John Mason won 11,277 votes (43.08% of the poll), up 26% on his party's vote in the 2005 General Election. He beat Labour candidate Margaret Curran - already a Glasgow MSP - on 10,912 (41.69%) as the Labour vote fell by nearly 19%.
The result is a devastating blow to PM Gordon Brown and one of the biggest by-election upsets in political history.
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Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
shameless POWERCRANK plug
Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
07-24-08, 11:17 PM
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Originally Posted by gdh81
Cameron looks tough, I wouldn't take his bike.
07-25-08, 01:01 AM
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Well he's no Jason Statham, but compared to Dick Cheney, Cameron is Rambo. Maybe its just that the Brits are tougher in general. Most of our politicians appear to have the physical prowess of John Inman. Oh snap! Bustin' out the 70's Britcom references!
07-25-08, 01:11 AM
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I'd be more likely to say that the Mayor of London, big Boris is a strong looking toughie if engaged in a wrestling match. He'd floor Cameron lol!
07-25-08, 01:22 AM
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Boris certainly has the looks of a rugger-bugger. If you want a conservative politician not to be messed with, however, I'd opt for Norman Tebbit. There's no way I'd steal his bike (or his dad's for that matter), not because he looks physically tough, but because he's ruthless, and if he wasn't carrying a knife, I'm sure he'd come round the corner 5 mins later with a broken bottle, and wouldn't have the smallest compunction about lacerating you
Of course, the real fighting politician is Two Jags/Jabs Prescott. Here he is on the campaign trail:
Of course, the real fighting politician is Two Jags/Jabs Prescott. Here he is on the campaign trail:
07-25-08, 06:18 AM
#18
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There should have been a warning before the Tebbit pic. My gosh. What a scary evildoer.
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07-25-08, 06:50 AM
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Mr Cameron needs a lesson in bike security.... draping a chain over a 2” high bollard is asking for trouble.
07-25-08, 09:30 AM
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I think he probably just rushed in and didn't think he was going to be very long so just chained it to the first thing he saw... Won't make that mistake again...
07-25-08, 10:07 AM
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Cameron lives on salad. So did Hitler.
Res ipsa loquiter as we folding bicyclists say..
Res ipsa loquiter as we folding bicyclists say..
Last edited by snafu21; 07-25-08 at 10:12 AM.
07-25-08, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by snafu21
Cameron lives on salad. So did Hitler.
Res ipsa loquiter as we folding bicyclists say..
Res ipsa loquiter as we folding bicyclists say..
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Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
shameless POWERCRANK plug
Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
Last edited by markhr; 07-27-08 at 10:54 AM. Reason: ol' lightning strikes again
07-26-08, 03:16 PM
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IT IS FOUND!
Hurrah! Cameron's bike was found in an alley and has been handed back to him. It's made the national news....
cripes.
Hurrah! Cameron's bike was found in an alley and has been handed back to him. It's made the national news....
cripes.
07-27-08, 12:03 AM
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Bugger. A PR opportunity for Velo Chocolate and Downtube goes....ahem.....down the tubes.
07-27-08, 01:15 AM
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The Times has a good feature on bikes, theft, and "crack addicts stealing bikes to fund their habits" . But they pick up on Tesco's brainless un-policies:
" There is also no obligation on landowners such as Tesco to provide cycle racks, even though this could easily be made a planning condition. Tesco concedes that it has no policy for encouraging shoppers to switch to bikes – despite claiming it is doing all it can to cut carbon emissions."
And, Tescos are alleged to be chicken-botherers and planet-murderers. Cannot the awesome political lobby of the folding bicycle forum be brought to bear on these vile monopolists?
" There is also no obligation on landowners such as Tesco to provide cycle racks, even though this could easily be made a planning condition. Tesco concedes that it has no policy for encouraging shoppers to switch to bikes – despite claiming it is doing all it can to cut carbon emissions."
And, Tescos are alleged to be chicken-botherers and planet-murderers. Cannot the awesome political lobby of the folding bicycle forum be brought to bear on these vile monopolists?
