Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Folding Bikes
Reload this Page >

Stop Press - Cameron's Bike Nicked..

Notices
Folding Bikes Discuss the unique features and issues of folding bikes. Also a great place to learn what folding bike will work best for your needs.

Stop Press - Cameron's Bike Nicked..

Old 07-24-08, 11:28 AM
  #1  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Stop Press - Cameron's Bike Nicked..

...from outside Tesco's....



bwahahaha.
snafu21 is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 11:51 AM
  #2  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Mr Andrew Grassie
Tesco Customer Services


Dear Mr Grassie

You may have seen the news on national television today - my bicycle was stolen from outside one of your London stores, even though it was locked up.

You will recall recent correspondence from some of the saner members of the Folding Bicycle Forum in which you declined to allow folding bicycles into your store. You will now note that if cyclists leave bicycles outside your store as per your 'policy' they will be certainly be stolen by urchins, tosspots, and vagabonds.

Indeed the National Press newshounds are hot on the trail of the 'facts' behind this important story, and will probably ring you up a lot if I happen to give them your number by mistake.

Kindly revoke this silly policy at once, so that cyclists may roam freely in your stores, carrying their beloved cycles with them, thus released from the worry and duress about leaving bikes outside.

If Winston Churchill, or the Queen turned up at a Tesco store with a folding bicycle, you would not turn them away, would you?

Anyway, it's a very silly policy. As you may know, Tesco is a retailer of folding bicycles, and if they are not allowed in your stores, how may anyone buy one? Eh?

Quad et demonstrandum as we say in Parliament.

The free passage of bicycles over the Queen's domain is guaranteed by the Magna Carta, and if you don't immediately allow folding bicycles into your stores, come the next election, when I become the new Prime Minister, I will immediately have you summoned to the Tower, and then beheaded for treason, or something.

Res ipsa loquitur
as we say in Parliament.

It would serve you jolly well right.

Sincerely:

Rt Hon. David Cameron MP.
Witney, Oxon

Ps. My wife says you're cruel to chickens. ' Abutebaris pollo denuo', as we say in Parliament.

Last edited by snafu21; 07-24-08 at 12:12 PM.
snafu21 is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 12:19 PM
  #3  
mulleady
The Metropolis, UK
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,353
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
Mr Andrew Grassie
Tesco Customer Services


Dear Mr Grassie

You may have seen the news on national television today - my bicycle was stolen from outside one of your London stores, even though it was locked up.

You will recall recent correspondence from some of the saner members of the Folding Bicycle Forum in which you declined to allow folding bicycles into your store. You will now note that if cyclists leave bicycles outside your store as per your 'policy' they will be certainly be stolen by urchins and vagabonds. Indeed the National Press newshounds are hot on the trail of the 'facts' behind this important story.

Kindly revoke this silly policy at once, so that cyclists may roam freely in your stores, carrying their beloved cycles with them, thus released from the worry and duress about leaving bikes outside.

If Winston Churchill, or the Queen turned up at a Tesco store with a folding bicycle, you would not turn them away, would you?

Anyway, it's a very silly policy. As you may know, Tesco is a retailer of folding bicycles, and if they are not allowed in your stores, how may anyone buy one? Eh? Quad et demonstrandum as we say in Parliament.

If you don't immediately allow folding bicycles into your stores, you may care to ponder that, come the next election, I will certainly become the new Prime Minister, and immediately have you summoned to the Tower, and then beheaded. Res ipsa loquitur as we say in Parliament.

It would serve you jolly well right.

Sincerely:

Rt Hon. David Cameron MP.

Ps. My wife says you're cruel to chickens.
Dear Snafu21 dubiously posing as a dubious political leader,

As per the recent Tesco thread, you have been clearly told that it is Tesco's property rights to do what we want, customers do not matter. In addition we do not need to justify our policies to you unless we need planning permission to demolish the Houses of Parliament and build a super duper Tesco flagship store with loads of apartments that MP's can rent on their expense accounts for free. In addition a forum representative from Riga (secretly working for us) clearly told you that Tesco kindly provide bike racks and that if you use a NY3000 lock instead of a chain such a thing would never ever happen in the UK.

I'd like to point out there are sanitation issues as some of your regulars on these forums ride folders downhill and collect horse and cow poo for a hobby which would cause us concern if it infected our poor chickens lying peacefully in the fridges.

I would suggest we are more than happy to let you wheel a bike to the checkout each time as long as you buy it from Tesco on each visit. However the previous one won't be allowed in. Finally, perhaps if you some of you used a Tesco bike in the first place rather than buying fancy contraptions the thieves wouldn't bother stealing them!

Yous Unsincerely,

Sir Terry-ible Peahy
CEO of the mighty Tescoli PLC (Watch out Walmart)
mulleady is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 01:09 PM
  #4  
Simple Simon
Life in Mono
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: London
Posts: 498

Bikes: 5 bikes, all the usual types

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Liked 3 Times in 2 Posts
Love the banter Snafu (& Mulleady)
I Wonder which bike co is most aligned with the tories to offer him some free wheels like Trek did for Bush .. in hindsight that may have been a dubious decision .. (or is that dub-yer-us .

All Riese for the The right Hon camBeltdrive
Bromptories unite and get Downtube work !
Simple Simon is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 01:31 PM
  #5  
mroli
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Ah - I think this is brilliant!!! The (possible) future prime minister has his bike nicked and only a matter of days after Tesco's anti-bike policy is spread all over here. Superb! Obviously poor Dave, but if I get stopped by security holding my bike in store, certainly adds to the desire not to leave it locked outside!
mroli is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 01:31 PM
  #6  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
What is entirely Very Silly in this complete PR Cycling fubar, is that Tesco's have volunteered to donate the value of Cameron's allegedly stolen bike, to a cycling charity.

We live in interesting times. Morever, the Man Who Wants To Lead The Country is himself a ne'er do well, and cycling renegade:

Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised after being photographed ignoring red lights and cycling the wrong way up a one-way street. Pictures in the Daily Mirror newspaper showed the politician breaching traffic rules as he cycled to work.
"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," Mr Cameron said in a statement.


-BBC



Vote for me. I sometimes cycle on sidewalks, and once, I stole a traffic cone. I was at uni though, so it doesn't count as a felony.

Let the war-cry ring out! SNAFU FOR PM!

Last edited by snafu21; 07-24-08 at 01:34 PM.
snafu21 is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 01:36 PM
  #7  
mulleady
The Metropolis, UK
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,353
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
What is entirely Very Silly in this complete PR Cycling fubar, is that Tesco's have volunteered to donate the value of Cameron's allegedly stolen bike, to a cycling charity.

We live in interesting times. Morever, the Man Who Wants To Lead The Country is himself a ne'er do well, and cycling renegade:

Conservative leader David Cameron has apologised after being photographed ignoring red lights and cycling the wrong way up a one-way street. Pictures in the Daily Mirror newspaper showed the politician breaching traffic rules as he cycled to work.
"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," Mr Cameron said in a statement.


-BBC




Vote for me. I sometimes cycle on sidewalks, and once, I stole a traffic cone. I was at uni though, so it doesn't count as a felony.
Been up one way streets the wrong way myself albeit cautiously. Nightmare around Tottenham Court Road and Oxford St! The only thing Cameron the Chameleon and I have in common
mulleady is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 01:41 PM
  #8  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Originally Posted by mulleady View Post
Been up one way streets the wrong way myself albeit cautiously. Nightmare around Tottenham Court Road and Oxford St! The only thing Cameron the Chameleon and I have in common
<wags finger>
snafu21 is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 03:46 PM
  #9  
Sammyboy
The Legitimiser
 
Sammyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southampton, UK
Posts: 4,849

Bikes: Gazelle Trim Trophy, EG Bates Track Bike, HR Bates Cantiflex bike, Nigel Dean fixed gear conversion, Raleigh Royal, Falcon Westminster.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
If I could afford to, I'd give him a Downtube. The publicity would be priceless......


(runs off to email Yan)
Sammyboy is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 03:54 PM
  #10  
mulleady
The Metropolis, UK
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,353
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Would be a brillliant PR move especially if his downtube could change colours as many times as Cameron the Chameleon.

Now there's a thought a new model called the Downtube Chameleon and presented to Cameron on its launch as a PR stunt by Sammyboy in his full naked regalia

I suspect Snafu already has a Downtube Cham that changes from orange to white to black depending on its moods
mulleady is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 04:26 PM
  #11  
gdh81
Senior Member
 
gdh81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 56

Bikes: Raleigh Folder

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I'm a bit proud of myself for knowing who Snafu meant by Cameron before I had read the article. It looks like TiVo-ing the House of Commons on CSPAN2 has come in handy. I love watching that. I'd relish the sight of American politicians berating each other like that. I do kind of feel bad for him, cause at least he doesn't drive everywhere. I can't imagine the head of the conservative party here riding a bicycle, not for recreation and certainly not for commuting. The cons here drive their 10 mpg SUVs to go twenty feet, while throwing trash out the window and burning tires doused in gasoline.

Cameron looks tough, I wouldn't take his bike. Now Clegg, I'd take his bike. I'm on the same political side, but he looks like a wuss... I could take him.
gdh81 is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 07:58 PM
  #12  
markhr
POWERCRANK addict
 
markhr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: North Acton, West London, UK
Posts: 3,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Labour, either corrupt or incompetent or...

https://news.google.com/news?ned=uk&n...ic=h&scoring=n

https://ukpress.google.com/article/AL...xqwAbynnmF0L_A

Labour beaten in by-election shock

9 minutes ago

Labour has sensationally been beaten by the Scottish National Party in the Glasgow East by-election.
The SNP's John Mason won 11,277 votes (43.08% of the poll), up 26% on his party's vote in the 2005 General Election. He beat Labour candidate Margaret Curran - already a Glasgow MSP - on 10,912 (41.69%) as the Labour vote fell by nearly 19%.
The result is a devastating blow to PM Gordon Brown and one of the biggest by-election upsets in political history.
__________________
shameless POWERCRANK plug
Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
markhr is offline  
Old 07-24-08, 11:17 PM
  #13  
Sammyboy
The Legitimiser
 
Sammyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southampton, UK
Posts: 4,849

Bikes: Gazelle Trim Trophy, EG Bates Track Bike, HR Bates Cantiflex bike, Nigel Dean fixed gear conversion, Raleigh Royal, Falcon Westminster.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Originally Posted by gdh81 View Post
Cameron looks tough, I wouldn't take his bike.
Are you serious? Transatlantic ideas of "tough" are clearly different. I think he's got more than a little Walter the Softy about him.

Sammyboy is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 01:01 AM
  #14  
gdh81
Senior Member
 
gdh81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 56

Bikes: Raleigh Folder

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Well he's no Jason Statham, but compared to Dick Cheney, Cameron is Rambo. Maybe its just that the Brits are tougher in general. Most of our politicians appear to have the physical prowess of John Inman. Oh snap! Bustin' out the 70's Britcom references!
gdh81 is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 01:11 AM
  #15  
mulleady
The Metropolis, UK
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,353
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
I'd be more likely to say that the Mayor of London, big Boris is a strong looking toughie if engaged in a wrestling match. He'd floor Cameron lol!
mulleady is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 01:22 AM
  #16  
Sammyboy
The Legitimiser
 
Sammyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southampton, UK
Posts: 4,849

Bikes: Gazelle Trim Trophy, EG Bates Track Bike, HR Bates Cantiflex bike, Nigel Dean fixed gear conversion, Raleigh Royal, Falcon Westminster.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Boris certainly has the looks of a rugger-bugger. If you want a conservative politician not to be messed with, however, I'd opt for Norman Tebbit. There's no way I'd steal his bike (or his dad's for that matter), not because he looks physically tough, but because he's ruthless, and if he wasn't carrying a knife, I'm sure he'd come round the corner 5 mins later with a broken bottle, and wouldn't have the smallest compunction about lacerating you



Of course, the real fighting politician is Two Jags/Jabs Prescott. Here he is on the campaign trail:

Sammyboy is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 05:10 AM
  #17  
mroli
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Wasn't Paddy Ashdown in the SAS? Sammy - get Dave a folder, you know it'd make sense!
mroli is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 06:18 AM
  #18  
LittlePixel
Raleigh20 PugFixie, Merc
 
LittlePixel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: London UK
Posts: 1,997

Bikes: 1982 Raleigh Twenty Hotrod Fixie; 1984 Peugeot Premier Fixie, 2007 Merc Lightweight folder

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts
There should have been a warning before the Tebbit pic. My gosh. What a scary evildoer.
LittlePixel is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 06:50 AM
  #19  
PDR
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Cheshire, North West England, UK
Posts: 574

Bikes: Brompton S2L-X, Bridgestone Moulton, 1963 & 1966 Moultons, Scott Mountain bike

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Mr Cameron needs a lesson in bike security.... draping a chain over a 2” high bollard is asking for trouble.
PDR is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 09:30 AM
  #20  
mroli
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 114
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I think he probably just rushed in and didn't think he was going to be very long so just chained it to the first thing he saw... Won't make that mistake again...
mroli is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 10:07 AM
  #21  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Cameron lives on salad. So did Hitler.

Res ipsa loquiter as we folding bicyclists say..

Last edited by snafu21; 07-25-08 at 10:12 AM.
snafu21 is offline  
Old 07-25-08, 10:21 AM
  #22  
markhr
POWERCRANK addict
 
markhr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: North Acton, West London, UK
Posts: 3,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
Cameron lives on salad. So did Hitler.

Res ipsa loquiter as we folding bicyclists say..
What does son of Bean, sorry, I meant Stalin, live on? Winds of change soufflé, with a sprinkling of on your bike and topped off with a twist of "Not for turning? I've been spinning like a top since I got in."

__________________
shameless POWERCRANK plug
Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!

Last edited by markhr; 07-27-08 at 10:54 AM. Reason: ol' lightning strikes again
markhr is offline  
Old 07-26-08, 03:16 PM
  #23  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
IT IS FOUND!


Hurrah! Cameron's bike was found in an alley and has been handed back to him. It's made the national news....


cripes.
snafu21 is offline  
Old 07-27-08, 12:03 AM
  #24  
Sammyboy
The Legitimiser
 
Sammyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southampton, UK
Posts: 4,849

Bikes: Gazelle Trim Trophy, EG Bates Track Bike, HR Bates Cantiflex bike, Nigel Dean fixed gear conversion, Raleigh Royal, Falcon Westminster.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Bugger. A PR opportunity for Velo Chocolate and Downtube goes....ahem.....down the tubes.
Sammyboy is offline  
Old 07-27-08, 01:15 AM
  #25  
snafu21
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
snafu21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mangroves, UK
Posts: 1,896

Bikes: None.

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
The Times has a good feature on bikes, theft, and "crack addicts stealing bikes to fund their habits" . But they pick up on Tesco's brainless un-policies:

" There is also no obligation on landowners such as Tesco to provide cycle racks, even though this could easily be made a planning condition. Tesco concedes that it has no policy for encouraging shoppers to switch to bikes – despite claiming it is doing all it can to cut carbon emissions."


And, Tescos are alleged to be chicken-botherers and planet-murderers. Cannot the awesome political lobby of the folding bicycle forum be brought to bear on these vile monopolists?
snafu21 is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.