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Old 04-24-05, 07:44 PM
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MattP.
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English Research Paper

I'm stumped.

For English I have to do a research paper. And I have to "invent" my own product. Well not necesarily invent, but remake an existing product. And then write about it, and tried to persuade why your product is better than other ones out on the market.

For example, you can choose cola, think up a new cola, and then wite a 6 page paper on why yours is better than the other preexisting colas.

But.... i can't think of a product to "remake," I want to do something with bikes, but no idea.

Any help guys?
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Old 04-24-05, 07:52 PM
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Why not some kind of computer program that gets other people to do your homework for you--and it's free! You could call it Internet Explorer v.8!
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Old 04-24-05, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Roody
Why not some kind of computer program that gets other people to do your homework for you--and it's free! You could call it Internet Explorer v.8!


I wish internet was out when I was a kid. I'd be a straight A student!

Do it on bikes, then convince people who drive why your product is so good at times like this when oil prices are causing gas prices to skyrocket.

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Old 04-24-05, 09:10 PM
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Maybe some new bike that can fly or something?

Seriously, maybe you can invent some new type of bike, or part, or improve on something?
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Old 04-24-05, 09:22 PM
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Actually, going off koffee's idea, your paper should be: bikes are the perfect form of transportation because:......

That's just one idea.
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Old 04-24-05, 09:23 PM
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Thanks guys! A bunch of things just popped into my head

Thanks!!
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Old 04-24-05, 10:08 PM
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Ah, the age-old art of fine bulls***ing. Heres what I have realized about papers; they are 95% pure, unfiltered bulls*** and the rest facts. All you have to do is sound smart, throw out a few numbers and fake sources, and you are set to go to college to be a teacher.
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Old 04-24-05, 10:23 PM
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Or you could try putting some original thought into the assignment and actually learn something. Sounds like mattp may have belatedly chosen that option.
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Old 04-24-05, 10:56 PM
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Well... you can create something like a humongous array of rotaries by having a rotary that has like 20 lobes in a long shaft like compartment that runs the length of the car into a transaxle.
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Old 04-25-05, 05:37 AM
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Originally Posted by trekkie820
Ah, the age-old art of fine bulls***ing. Heres what I have realized about papers; they are 95% pure, unfiltered bulls*** and the rest facts. All you have to do is sound smart, throw out a few numbers and fake sources.
that all depends on the teacher you have. additionally, the education you are participating in is your own. Half•ass your way through it and of course it is a joke. I would hope someone at the college level would have figured this out by now.


Originally Posted by trekkie820
and you are set to go to college to be a teacher.
Another wounderful generalization.
Maybe you should join me or one of the other people going through their undergrad teacher certification and/or master's program in order to become a teacher. All we do is play tennis or croquet and drink Remy Martin. How easy it really all is! Thanks for reminding me.
I would stay around to chat more, but I am off to learn the secret handshake and eat lobster. Ta-ta.
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Old 04-25-05, 06:40 AM
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Originally Posted by [165]
Half•ass your way through it and of course it is a joke. I would hope someone at the college level would have figured this out by now.
I was more refering to the assignments that have a set amount of pages and strict guidelines which make BS'ing the only way to get to the page limit. I can send you a copy of a recent assignment that I had to do if you're interested.

Originally Posted by [165]
Another wounderful generalization.
Maybe you should join me or one of the other people going through their undergrad teacher certification and/or master's program in order to become a teacher.
I am.
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Old 04-25-05, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by trekkie820
I was more refering to the assignments that have a set amount of pages and strict guidelines which make BS'ing the only way to get to the page limit. I can send you a copy of a recent assignment that I had to do if you're interested.



I am.
part #1 - agreed 100% - no need to send any examples as I have enough of my own work to stand and testify. I just read a book by Jim Burke that does a nice job of discussing this. Bird by Bird is another great book on writing with purpose vs. writing for page filling. The worst thing is that sometimes it is necessary. Even worse is that some teachers like to make this their way of teaching writing. You know: topic sentence - supporting sentences (X3 minimum), summary sentence. Gotta love that.

And you are going to be a teacher? What content area?
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Old 04-25-05, 08:06 AM
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I'll be teaching technology, such as wood shop, metals, graphic arts, etc. The best papers that I have written were actually in my educational theory classes, such as my philosophy of education. There were no length requirements to that assignment, and it ended up only being 3 pages, but it was only what I wanted, none of the filler garbage that is required in other courses. Nothing makes me more pissed than a teacher who has strict length requirements, because people write to fill pages rather than to make their point. It just doesn't make sense.

What will you be teaching? I am guessing English...
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Old 04-25-05, 08:38 AM
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Just modifiy this a little. Read this carefully.

Turboencabulator
JH Quick

[From The Institute of Electrical Engineers, Students Quarterly Journal 25]

For a number of years now, work has has been proceeding in order to bring
prefection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would work to not
only supply inverse reactive current, for use in unilateral phase detectors, but
would also be capable of automatically synchronising cardinal grammeters. Such
a machine is the 'Turboencabulator'. Basically, the only new principle involved
is that instead of the power being generated by the relaxive motion of
conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the modial interactions of magneto-
reluctance and capacitive directance.

The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated amulite, surrounded by a
malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were
in direct line with the pentametric fan, the latter consisted simply of six
hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar vaneshaft that side
fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-
o-delta type placed in panendermic semiboloid solts in the stator, every seventh
conductor being connected by a non-reversible termic pipe to the differential
girdlespring on the 'up' end of the grammeter.

Forty-one manestically placed grouting brushes were arrranged to feed into the
rotor slip stream a mixture of high S-value phenyhydrobenzamine and 5 percent
reminative tetraiodohexamine. Both these liquids have specific pericosities
given by p=2.4 Cn where n is the diathecial evolute of retrograde temperature
phase disposition and C is the Chomondeley's annual grillage coefficient.
Initially, n was measured with the aid of a metapolar pilfrometer, but up to the
present date nothing has been found to equal the transcetental hopper dadoscope.

Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubbing together a
regurgitative purwell and a superaminative wennel-sprocket. Indeed, this proved
to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1943, it was found that
the use of anhydrous nagling pins enabled a kyptonastic boiling shim to be
tankered.

The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed
largely because of lack of appreciation of the large quasi-pietic stresses in
the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed to hold the roffit bars to
the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented
by the simple addition of teeth to socket, almost perfect running was secured.

The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the HF rem peak by
constantly fromaging the bituminous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on
the standard nivelsheave in that no drammock oil is required after the phase
detractors have remissed.

Undoubtedly, the turboencabulator has now reached a very high level of technical
development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In
addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in
conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal
depleneration.
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Old 04-25-05, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by trekkie820
What will you be teaching? I am guessing English...
Yes, I should be done summer 2006
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Old 04-25-05, 08:53 AM
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I'll be graduated in May 2006. Hopefully with a job soon to follow.
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Old 04-25-05, 05:16 PM
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Remember:
Use 2.15 spacing instead of double.
Make the page margins 1.1" if they want 1".
Make size 12 font size 12+1/4.
Adjust the spacing between letters to 1.1.
After typing the essay, go back and replace ". " with ". ".

I think the last step is proper grammer anyway...

Last edited by slvoid; 04-25-05 at 08:51 PM.
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Old 04-25-05, 05:24 PM
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Haha nice ideas slviod

I decided to do my paper on "why bikes are better than cars"

Woo Hoo!
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