Go Back  Bike Forums > The Lounge > Foo
Reload this Page >

What are the lamest calling in sick excuses.

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

What are the lamest calling in sick excuses.

Old 06-15-17, 08:06 PM
  #1  
Siu Blue Wind
BACK2ME
Thread Starter
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12,838
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1477 Post(s)
What are the lamest calling in sick excuses.

Ones that were actually used, not ones that people WANT to use.

Someone called in sick because her husband died. For the second time in the past two years. Same guy.

She forgot that she used that excuse before but the boss was the one that remembered.
__________________
"Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both to you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace. " ~ Dalai Lama

Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline  
Old 06-15-17, 08:35 PM
  #2  
toytech 
Senior Member
 
toytech's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: san leandro
Posts: 1,453

Bikes: enough bikes to qualify for Hoarders......

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I sharted and have to go home.
__________________
"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."--Harry S. Truman
toytech is offline  
Old 06-15-17, 08:43 PM
  #3  
ahsposo 
Titanic Member
 
ahsposo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Deep in the North Atlantic
Posts: 7,086

Bikes: A Home Built All Rounder, Bianchi 928, Specialized Langster, Dahon Folder

Mentioned: 17 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2700 Post(s)
Originally Posted by toytech View Post
I sharted and have to go home.
That's not lame. That's obvious. I hope public transport isn't involved...
ahsposo is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 12:27 AM
  #4  
Rollfast
What happened?
 
Rollfast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Around here somewhere
Posts: 7,190

Bikes: 3 Rollfasts, 3 Schwinns, a Shelby and a Higgins Flightliner in a pear tree!

Mentioned: 29 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1391 Post(s)
I've been fully self employed for twenty years, but the new minimum wage will get me in the mood to try for the Salvation Army bell ringer this year *unless we get two feet of snow in a week again and half the buildings collapse again, forget it.

No mowing jobs when all your elderly client pass.
__________________
I don't know Everything...I've just been at it long enough to know why it's probably messed up.
Rollfast is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 06:01 AM
  #5  
Zedoo
( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 304

Bikes: several

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 702 Post(s)
I lost my wallet and couldn't drive to work.
Zedoo is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 06:07 AM
  #6  
hay
tumbleweed
 
hay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: txs
Posts: 154

Bikes: stumpy,bianchi,Wabi classic

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 48 Post(s)
I have eye trouble. I just can't see going to work on this beautiful day
hay is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 08:33 AM
  #7  
chewybrian 
"Florida Man"
 
chewybrian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: East Florida
Posts: 1,652

Bikes: '16 Bob Jackson rando, '66 Raleigh Superbe, 80 Nishiki Maxima, 07 Gary Fisher Utopia, 09 Surly LHT

Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 852 Post(s)
One of my coworkers wanted a day off, and my boss at the time, who is really cool, told him he would just mark him down for a sick day.

The next day, the guy calls him and says he is still sick, can't make it in...

When I was the boss back in the day, everyone's favorite was car trouble. I would offer to pick them up.

Dead air...
__________________
Campione Del Mondo Immaginario
chewybrian is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 11:04 AM
  #8  
no motor?
Senior Member
 
no motor?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 5,920

Bikes: Specialized Hardrock

Mentioned: 20 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 838 Post(s)
These aren't reasons for not coming in, but reasons for not coming back to work and both relate to my days as a damn yankee in jsharrland. The first was coming back from lunch and seeing one of our employees in haqndcuffs getting ready to get into a police car. He'd gone to pick up a car at a dealership customer for us and got pulled over because it didn't have a license plate on it. It turns out he'd lost his drivers license due to a DUI and apparently that meant a mandatory trip to jail. The cop asked me if this was OK, and I said I wasn't going to disagree with him.

The second involved another employee grabbing the bank deposit from a supplier and running away with it. He got caught pretty quickly and I was glad to see him go, he was an idiotic troublemaker and I used to have to call him in the morning so he'd wake up and get to work on time.

I forgot about the third knothead who cashed his paycheck at a currency exchange, told us he lost it and then cashed the replacement at the same currency exchange.
no motor? is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 11:20 AM
  #9  
brianmcg123
Senior Member
 
brianmcg123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: TN
Posts: 1,209
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 321 Post(s)
I had a guy call to say he was pooping like a goose.
brianmcg123 is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 12:04 PM
  #10  
Juan Foote
LBKA (formerly punkncat)
 
Juan Foote's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Jawja
Posts: 3,400

Bikes: Spec Roubaix SL4, GT Traffic 1.0

Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 917 Post(s)
Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
These aren't reasons for not coming in, but reasons for not coming back to work


Giggle. Worked for a bonded alarm company back some years ago. Somehow one of our employees had gotten into trouble that hadn't showed up on that side yet, but one of the jobs we went to required a background check each and every time you went through the door. He got busted in our customers lobby with a warrant hold.
Juan Foote is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 12:35 PM
  #11  
indyfabz
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 21,409
Mentioned: 152 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7920 Post(s)
I told my employer that I had a stomach bug when, in fact, I was totally hung over after the Eagles-Packers playoff game where Freddy Mitchell caught a 26 yard pass on fourth down that kept what became a game-tying drive alive. Eagles won in overtime. I would have been o.k. had I gone home at that point, but nooooooooooooooo! Some guy I knew from the bar bought a couple of us shots. The bar tender poured YUGE ones. I drank mine relatively slowly. When I finished, I realized my mistake. Stumbled home, got the bed spins, woke up in my clothes and instantly determined that there was not enough coffee and cold shower to make myself even remotely functional.
indyfabz is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 01:06 PM
  #12  
aadhils
Bike Junkie
 
aadhils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Santa Clara, CA
Posts: 1,610

Bikes: Orange Brompton M3L; Milwaukee Bicycle Co. Fixie (Eddy Orange)

Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)
I'm lucky that I work for a company that I only take a day off when I'm really sick
aadhils is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 03:21 PM
  #13  
BenzFanatic
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chicagoland area
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 88 Post(s)
Burned foot on George Foreman grill that was preparing delicious bacon at the bedside.

But seriously, I recently had a coworker take a week off because his brother in law's brother died, if I understand correctly. The guy never takes his vacation so he was long overdue for some time off, but I thought that was a crappy way to do it.
BenzFanatic is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 06:17 PM
  #14  
spinnaker
Every day a winding road
 
spinnaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 6,245

Bikes: 2005 Cannondale SR500, 2008 Trek 7.3 FX, Jamis Aurora

Mentioned: 20 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3182 Post(s)
My dog is getting married.

I couldn't find my other shoe.

Isn't National Doughnut Day an official holiday?

I need to finish sorting my belly button lint.

I ran out of clean underwear.
spinnaker is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 07:22 PM
  #15  
Siu Blue Wind
BACK2ME
Thread Starter
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12,838
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1477 Post(s)
One guy called in sick because he had the flu. The next day, his pic was on the front page of the newspaper because the grand opening of a Fry's Electronic store had people camping over night to be first in line.

And yup. He was first in line.
__________________
"Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both to you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace. " ~ Dalai Lama

Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 08:42 PM
  #16  
chito1016d
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 11

Bikes: Trek FX 2

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I'm a manager at work so I hear quite a few. My in law had a house fire ( guess he went to put it out himself), I need to watch my son(keep in mind he only has a single 17 year old kid). Same guy for both of these so at least he is creative with them.
chito1016d is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 08:49 PM
  #17  
c0urt
moving target
 
c0urt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: birmingham, al
Posts: 2,890

Bikes: looks like a specialized crux now

Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 213 Post(s)
guys calling in with pms issues
c0urt is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 09:54 PM
  #18  
Siu Blue Wind
BACK2ME
Thread Starter
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12,838
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1477 Post(s)
Originally Posted by c0urt View Post
guys calling in with pms issues

Really? Someone actually used that excuse?
__________________
"Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both to you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace. " ~ Dalai Lama

Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline  
Old 06-16-17, 10:01 PM
  #19  
c0urt
moving target
 
c0urt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: birmingham, al
Posts: 2,890

Bikes: looks like a specialized crux now

Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 213 Post(s)
single guys to
c0urt is offline  
Old 06-17-17, 09:07 AM
  #20  
BenzFanatic
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chicagoland area
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 88 Post(s)
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
One guy called in sick because he had the flu. The next day, his pic was on the front page of the newspaper because the grand opening of a Fry's Electronic store had people camping over night to be first in line.

And yup. He was first in line.
In his defense Fry's is pretty awesome.
BenzFanatic is offline  
Old 06-17-17, 11:50 AM
  #21  
no motor?
Senior Member
 
no motor?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 5,920

Bikes: Specialized Hardrock

Mentioned: 20 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 838 Post(s)
I once had a patient that had a great excuse for not coming back for a follow up visit. I'd treated a couple of family members, but hadn't seen the father yet before I got the "you've got to help me" call. And it came the day before he was flying to Germany for Octoberfest - for work.
no motor? is offline  
Old 06-17-17, 01:43 PM
  #22  
fietsbob 
coprolite
 
fietsbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NW,Oregon Coast
Posts: 40,219

Bikes: 8

Mentioned: 176 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6336 Post(s)
A friend, owning the store below my apartment, in the past, would put a sign in the window saying
'Closed to enjoy Nature's Beauty'.
fietsbob is offline  
Old 06-17-17, 09:10 PM
  #23  
bigbenaugust 
always rides with luggage
 
bigbenaugust's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: KIGX
Posts: 2,101

Bikes: 2007 Trek SU100, 2009 Fantom CX, 2012 Fantom Cross Uno, Bakfiets

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 245 Post(s)
Originally Posted by BenzFanatic View Post
In his defense Fry's is pretty awesome.
+1. One of the very few things I miss about the Bay Area.
I Need a Fry's in Durham, Raleigh, Cary, or somewhere close by.
__________________
--Ben
2006 Trek SU100, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX, 2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, and a Bakfiets
Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011), 2011 Windsor Shetland (2011-2014), 2008 Citizen Folder (2015)
Non-Bike hardware: MX Linux / BunsenLabs Linux / Raspbian / Mac OS 10.6 / Android 7
bigbenaugust is offline  
Old 06-18-17, 04:45 AM
  #24  
JagR
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 357

Bikes: S-Works Tarmac 2017 - TREK Madone - Cannondale CAPO

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 206 Post(s)
Explosive diarrhea. Not sure if it's lame or good but one of my guys uses it regularly.
JagR is offline  
Old 06-18-17, 09:41 AM
  #25  
Siu Blue Wind
BACK2ME
Thread Starter
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12,838
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1477 Post(s)
Originally Posted by fietsbob View Post
A friend, owning the store below my apartment, in the past, would put a sign in the window saying
'Closed to enjoy Nature's Beauty'.

__________________
"Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both to you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace. " ~ Dalai Lama

Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.