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Florida man?

Old 04-12-19, 11:07 AM
  #76  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
How about some Twinkies or Reeses Cups?
Does it still say "free candy" on the side of your van?
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Old 04-12-19, 01:59 PM
  #77  
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
Does it still say "free candy" on the side of your van?
Yeah, that and "Unicorn on Board, come aboard and touch it's horn".
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Old 04-12-19, 02:03 PM
  #78  
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That's always worked for you in the past.
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Old 04-13-19, 09:03 PM
  #79  
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Floridaman killed by large, flightless bird

ALACHUA, Fla. (AP) — A large, flightless bird native to Australia and New Guinea attacked and killed its owner when the man fell on his farm in Florida, authorities said Saturday.

The Alachua County Fire Rescue Department told the Gainesville Sun that a cassowary killed the man Friday on the property near Gainesville, likely using its long claws. The victim was apparently breeding the birds, state wildlife officials said.

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Old 04-15-19, 07:43 AM
  #80  
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I saw the picture and knew what thread I was in and though "Why on earth are there cassowaries in Florida?" Because Florida, obviously.
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Old 04-15-19, 10:51 AM
  #81  
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Because Florida Man brought them there.
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Old 04-15-19, 03:25 PM
  #82  
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Originally Posted by bigbenaugust View Post
I saw the picture and knew what thread I was in and though "Why on earth are there cassowaries in Florida?" Because Florida, obviously.
Need something to feed the pythons...
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Old 04-20-19, 06:07 AM
  #83  
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Florida Man Charged With Threatening to Kill Omar, Booker, Tlaib


...Florida man has been arrested by the feds for allegedly threatening to murder her...
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Old 04-20-19, 04:11 PM
  #84  
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California Man Sets Himself on Fire in Target Parking Lot

The man, who was not identified in the report, was allegedly engulfed in a fireball that he sparked by trying to melt the mouth of a plastic gas canister with a lighter, according to Fox40.

The victim’s girlfriend reportedly told investigators the pair had run out of gas and pulled into the parking lot to refuel.

Dustin Bruley, supervisor of the Stanislaus Regional Fire Investigation Unit, was cited by the Sacramento Bee as saying that preliminary findings suggested the man was trying to melt the plastic at the mouth of the jug to make pouring fuel into his car easier.
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Old 04-20-19, 04:12 PM
  #85  
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Oops! Sorry, wrong thread...
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Old 04-22-19, 11:23 AM
  #86  
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He could have been Florida man on vacation. I wonder what kind of adventures Florida man had on 4/20?
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Old 04-22-19, 11:39 AM
  #87  
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Floridaman pretending to be a deputy tried to pull over a real detective and got arrested
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Old 04-22-19, 04:00 PM
  #88  
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I guess this belongs here too. https://wgntv.com/2019/04/22/easter-...ntown-orlando/
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Old 04-22-19, 09:29 PM
  #89  
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Standing your ground can be lonely. https://www.miamiherald.com/news/sta...229455604.html
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Old 04-23-19, 09:14 AM
  #90  
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
That's why I don't go bar "hopping" with furries.
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Old 04-23-19, 09:29 AM
  #91  
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Fox News again is on Floridaman's trail...

Floridaman accused of building pipe bomb, posting video of it to Facebook
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Old 04-25-19, 04:26 PM
  #92  
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Floridaman catches flesh-eating bacteria while fishing
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Old 04-27-19, 09:27 AM
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Floridaman on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say From staff reports

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

....Oquendo had stabbed the mattress with a bedpost, then ripped it apart
with his hands. He then locked the bedroom door and refused to let the woman leave, but she was able to escape while he was preoccupied with the mattress, according to an arrest report.
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Old 04-27-19, 12:39 PM
  #94  
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I wonder how normal these people were before they moved to Florida.
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Old 04-27-19, 01:20 PM
  #95  
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This fits in here quite nicely (NSFW!!):

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Old 04-29-19, 08:44 AM
  #96  
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Originally Posted by skidder View Post
This fits in here quite nicely
that's what she said
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Old 04-29-19, 02:29 PM
  #97  
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I just saw something very Florida while walking my dog, just a hundred feet from my condo. A hawk pulled a snake from the creek and took off with it. I did not have my phone with me to catch it, but but it was pretty cool. Here is a snake I did catch from the same creek. I was crossing here:



to cross over and walk my dog by the highway, when I almost stepped on this guy:



which I think was a juvenile water moccasin. He may or may not have been eaten by a hawk moments ago.

Here, a little way down the creek, is a favorite sunning spot for gators. This time of year, they are small, but in the summer you will see some bigger ones there.

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Old 04-29-19, 02:46 PM
  #98  
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Originally Posted by chewybrian View Post
I just saw something very Florida while walking my dog, just a hundred feet from my condo. A hawk pulled a snake from the creek and took off with it. I did not have my phone with me to catch it, but but it was pretty cool. Here is a snake I did catch from the same creek. I was crossing here:



to cross over and walk my dog by the highway, when I almost stepped on this guy:



which I think was a juvenile water moccasin. He may or may not have been eaten by a hawk moments ago.

Here, a little way down the creek, is a favorite sunning spot for gators. This time of year, they are small, but in the summer you will see some bigger ones there.

So, while you were walking this "dog" were you

a) carrying a gun, rifle, crossbow or sword

b) naked

c) high on drugs

d) en route to committing a crime

e) all of the above

?
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Old 04-29-19, 05:04 PM
  #99  
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f) on your way to Walmart
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Old 04-29-19, 06:06 PM
  #100  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
So, while you were walking this "dog" were you

a) carrying a gun, rifle, crossbow or sword

b) naked

c) high on drugs

d) en route to committing a crime

e) all of the above

?
My public defender told me not to answer and to drink a fifth of Amendment, so I'm off to the liquor store with my 'dog'.
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