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I知 applying for US citizenship

Old 12-12-19, 11:14 PM
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I知 applying for US citizenship

I知 seeking dual Texan and United States citizenship. I was heading to a casino in Oklahoma but got detained or caught trying to cross the Red River. I was detained for hours and I知 not very happy. You Texans are trying to steal our jobs they told me. I was like WTF I don稚 plan on staying here I will return back to The Republic Of Texas. I知 here to gamble then go home you clowns. What is the world coming to? I guess I will apply for US citizenship but it may take up to 20 years.
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Old 12-12-19, 11:48 PM
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I heard there's an invasion of Texistanis and we're building a wall to keep you people away.

Not that it matters. It's cold and rainy here, and Texans melt in the rain, they did a story about it on KING5.
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Old 12-13-19, 12:39 AM
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Real Okies aren't fond of us folks from Baja Oklahoma. We're considered troublemakers, what with all our bluster about being a republic and wanting to secede. And they're worried about Texans smuggling weed from Mexico into Oklahoma, cutting into their planned market for state approved recreational wacky tobacky.
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Old 12-13-19, 12:45 AM
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They probably put beans in their chili too. Barbarians!
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Old 12-13-19, 01:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
... they did a story about it on Almost Live.
ftfy
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Old 12-13-19, 07:35 AM
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It's due to the Arkansas-Oklahoma-Louisiana tripartite pact which was in response to the border checkpoint and taxation at the Sabine river charged to incoming Louisianans that started in September 1999.
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Old 12-13-19, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
I heard there's an invasion of Texistanis and we're building a wall to keep you people away.
Too many people coming here from other states. Build that wall on our borders, please.

Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
Not that it matters. It's cold and rainy here, and Texans melt in the rain, they did a story about it on KING5.
Depends on the part of the state. Here in Southeast Texas we get plenty of rain, even when a hurricane or tropical storm isn't around.

Last edited by FiftySix; 12-13-19 at 07:52 AM. Reason: fixin' links
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Old 12-13-19, 09:09 AM
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If you don't watch out we'll send some more west-coasters to your neck-of-the woods and Californicate the place. Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana all better watch out (maybe not New Orleans; none of you care about that filthy craphole on the bayou, do you?)
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Old 12-13-19, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
I heard there's an invasion of Texistanis and we're building a wall to keep you people away.

Not that it matters. It's cold and rainy here, and Texans melt in the rain, they did a story about it on KING5.
I hear Colorado and New Mexico are at least getting a wall around them.
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Old 12-13-19, 09:59 AM
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You know why it's so windy in TX and KS? Because OK sucks. Actually, KS sucks worse, in my opinion, but I was there longer than OK.

True story: Shortly after I moved to OK (Tulsa), I had a cashier at a grocery store ask where I was from. I told her Tucson, and she asked, "Is that west Oklahoma?"

I had a hard time not laughing.
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Old 12-13-19, 10:43 AM
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Do they make you take your shoes off and remove your belt when crossing the border?
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Old 12-13-19, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Notso_fastLane View Post
You know why it's so windy in TX and KS? Because OK sucks. Actually, KS sucks worse, in my opinion, but I was there longer than OK.

True story: Shortly after I moved to OK (Tulsa), I had a cashier at a grocery store ask where I was from. I told her Tucson, and she asked, "Is that west Oklahoma?"

I had a hard time not laughing.
Drinking beer around a campfire a few years ago my redneck friend thought Idaho was in Canada LMFAO.. I couldn稚 convince the poor ****er that Idaho is in the United States.
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Old 12-13-19, 11:17 AM
  #13  
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Originally Posted by TakingMyTime View Post
Do they make you take your shoes off and remove your belt when crossing the border?
Luckily I made it to Native American tribal territory before the Okies got me. I was safe at Windstar Casino. When Tool played San Antonio the lead singer wasn稚 satisfied with the response. He said you can do better than let痴 say Oklahoma of course the crowd erupted. The Tool singer laughed because he goaded the crowd with the Texas-OK rivalry in everything.
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Old 12-13-19, 11:18 AM
  #14  
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Back in '96 when Atlanta held the Olympics, some people from New Mexico tried to buy some advance tickets. They were told that the USOC could only sell tickets to Americans and they had to order their tickets through the Mexico Olympic offices.
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Old 12-13-19, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Hondo Gravel View Post
Drinking beer around a campfire a few years ago my redneck friend thought Idaho was in Canada LMFAO.. I couldn’t convince the poor ****er that Idaho is in the United States.

Maybe he has his own private idaho
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Old 12-13-19, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by StupidlyBrave View Post
Maybe he has his own private idaho
That reminded my of the B-52 song Private Idaho. Another time at another beer party campfire I tried to explain there is a popular band called the B-52s and that they didn稚 fly a B52 bomber. Then I started singing Love Shack and the intoxicated redneck said he going to get his ****** which made the group laugh. His GF explained to the buffoon what it was about. She turned on the radio until Love Shack was played. This happened back when it was popular. He spent the rest of the party huffing and puffing which made it even more funny .
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Old 12-13-19, 11:43 AM
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Old 12-13-19, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by skidder View Post
If you don't watch out we'll send some more west-coasters to your neck-of-the woods and Californicate the place. Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana all better watch out (maybe not New Orleans; none of you care about that filthy craphole on the bayou, do you?)
leave your poop on the side walks nobody else wants to smell that crap
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Old 12-13-19, 12:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Hondo Gravel View Post
Drinking beer around a campfire a few years ago my redneck friend thought Idaho was in Canada LMFAO.. I couldn稚 convince the poor ****er that Idaho is in the United States.
Idyho.
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Old 12-16-19, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Hondo Gravel View Post
I’m seeking dual Texan and United States citizenship. I was heading to a casino in Oklahoma but got detained or caught trying to cross the Red River. I was detained for hours and I’m not very happy. You Texans are trying to steal our jobs they told me. I was like WTF I don’t plan on staying here I will return back to The Republic Of Texas. I’m here to gamble then go home you clowns. What is the world coming to? I guess I will apply for US citizenship but it may take up to 20 years.
Now that brings a whole new game to when the local Sheriff asks: "You boys workin' 'round here, are ya?"

Somebody needs to maintain their roads. I don't think they do.

Next time greet 'em with a "Surf's up dude" and have an extra California DL to show them. Tell them you're a Democrat lobbyist working to open up all the "dry counties" for selling alcohol.


Then stop and steal some corn or a watermelon somewhere . . . If they let you live.

Last edited by Zinger; 12-16-19 at 10:22 PM.
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