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When coffee makers are demanding a ransom

Old 09-27-20, 11:59 AM
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Seattle Forrest
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When coffee makers are demanding a ransom

Fun article about security and the "internet of things." Imagine a world in the distant future when even the terminators have to take a week off from killing humans because Skynet got hit with a ransomware attack.

https://arstechnica.com/information-...machine/?amp=1

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Old 09-27-20, 12:20 PM
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My coffee makers do not have colour panels. They just make black coffee. Am I missing something? (I never did associate them with intelligence. Traditional Italian Moka stovetop pots.)

Reading that link, I think I'll just keep using my stupid coffeemakers (which make coffee I love with no shortcuts anywhere. In fact, I burr grind my beans with a small grinder that takes ~1200 turns; enough to do full, long stretches of both Achilles and hamstrings. (Knees love it and I no longer stop for stretches early in rides.)
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Old 09-27-20, 12:49 PM
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Installing software and wi-fi in common items so that you don't have to get off the couch or "we can track your preferences" . . . yep, we need more of that.
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Old 09-27-20, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by 79pmooney View Post
Reading that link, I think I'll just keep using my stupid coffeemakers (which make coffee I love with no shortcuts anywhere. In fact, I burr grind my beans with a small grinder that takes ~1200 turns; enough to do full, long stretches of both Achilles and hamstrings. (Knees love it and I no longer stop for stretches early in rides.)
You have a grinder attached to your bike?

https://road.cc/content/news/103472-...ssory-or-spoof
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Old 09-27-20, 12:54 PM
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If you get a coffee maker without 256 bit AES encryption, you're asking for trouble.
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Old 09-27-20, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by tyrion View Post
If you get a coffee maker without 256 bit AES encryption, you're asking for trouble.
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Old 09-27-20, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by FiftySix View Post
Installing software and wi-fi in common items so that you don't have to get off the couch or "we can track your preferences" . . . yep, we need more of that.
Hey! Getting off the couch has caused heart attacks. (They're working on a machine that will pour, deliver, pick up and wash. All in the cause of good health.)
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Old 09-27-20, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by FiftySix View Post
You have a grinder attached to your bike?

https://road.cc/content/news/103472-...ssory-or-spoof
Not yet but i should, It wold mean going back to the early pre-breakfast rides I did in my racing days.
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Old 09-27-20, 02:35 PM
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I think somebody hacked the fridge, it refuses to open, my password doesn't work, and I'm going to starve to death if IT can't figure it out.
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Old 09-27-20, 02:46 PM
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This is sort of the functional equivalent to parking your 1971 rusted out Pinto in San Francisco to prevent a car break-in.
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Old 09-27-20, 10:12 PM
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Somewhere's a comic showing the CEO and CFO in the pool, high-giving as they lounge in their floaty chairs drinking daiquiris. In the foreground the CIO is drowning but they don't notice. At the bottom of the pool is a skeleton, the CSO.

Our only protection is there are a lot of us and we all pretty much look the same. Like Zebras.
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Old 09-27-20, 11:30 PM
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Originally Posted by wgscott View Post

This is sort of the functional equivalent to parking your 1971 rusted out Pinto in San Francisco to prevent a car break-in.
I drink Folgers Instant coffee. It works good.
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Old 09-28-20, 01:17 AM
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I used to know somebody who ate that stuff by the spoonful every morning.
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Old 09-28-20, 05:18 AM
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I drink no name brand instant coffee using hot water from the tap. I don't want taste, I want the results.
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Old 09-28-20, 06:01 PM
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My coffee maker looks like this:


I've never upgraded the firmware, now I'm terrified of getting hacked
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Old 09-28-20, 06:09 PM
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Originally Posted by DeadGrandpa View Post
I drink Folgers Instant coffee. It works good.
I definitely lived off that stuff in the 1980s. Or, the stuff that would come out of a coffee dispensing machine for 10 cents.

One of my customers currently has a coffee dispensing machine in their employee breakroom. Costs 25 cents for about 4 ounces of coffee in a paper cup with a playing card printed on the bottom. Add a dime and you get 8 ounces. Kinda tastes like dark tea instead of coffee.
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Old 09-28-20, 06:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
I think somebody hacked the fridge, it refuses to open, my password doesn't work, and I'm going to starve to death if IT can't figure it out.
Silicon Valley had a plotline involving hacking a smart fridge
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Old 09-28-20, 07:02 PM
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Originally Posted by FiftySix View Post
I definitely lived off that stuff in the 1980s. Or, the stuff that would come out of a coffee dispensing machine for 10 cents.

One of my customers currently has a coffee dispensing machine in their employee breakroom. Costs 25 cents for about 4 ounces of coffee in a paper cup with a playing card printed on the bottom. Add a dime and you get 8 ounces. Kinda tastes like dark tea instead of coffee.
The coffee I really want to drink comes out of a percolator, like you can make with a $12 stovetop stainless steel camping appliance from Walmart.. Gas stove, camp fire, it doesn't matter. Best caffeine delivery device ever invented. K-cups are a step backwards.
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Old 09-28-20, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
I used to know somebody who ate that stuff by the spoonful every morning.
I just cook it in a spoon and main-line it.
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Old 09-28-20, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by wgscott View Post

This is sort of the functional equivalent to parking your 1971 rusted out Pinto in San Francisco to prevent a car break-in.
I have to chuckle at this as I rode a rusty beat up ugly girl frame (no top tube) bike to my college one whole year, and never bothered to lock it anywhere. It was always there when I was ready to ride home.

That bike cost me a six pack of Pacifco, and some time repairing/lubricating all the moving bits... at the end of the school year, I sold it for a six pack of Pacifico...

Sometimes, "simple" IS the best solution.
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Old 09-28-20, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by RubeRad View Post
Silicon Valley had a plotline involving hacking a smart fridge
One of the first devices on-line was a Coke machine.
https://www.ibm.com/blogs/industries...st-iot-device/
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Old 09-28-20, 08:20 PM
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Originally Posted by DeadGrandpa View Post
The coffee I really want to drink comes out of a percolator, like you can make with a $12 stovetop stainless steel camping appliance from Walmart.. Gas stove, camp fire, it doesn't matter. Best caffeine delivery device ever invented. K-cups are a step backwards.
Lol. I have one of those camp percolators. It's our backup for when we lose power. We have a gas stove/oven and I have yet to lose gas flow during a storm.
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Old 10-01-20, 09:09 AM
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Nice thing about percolating style makers is that you can just keep brewing until the coffee is how you like.

....somewhere around the consistency of mud.
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Old 10-01-20, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by FiftySix View Post
Lol. I have one of those camp percolators. It's our backup for when we lose power. We have a gas stove/oven and I have yet to lose gas flow during a storm.
Yup, the camp percolating old fashion coffee tastes the best. Set it up the night before whoever is up first turns on the Coleman stove burner. Takes some time but having hot coffee is great.
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Old 10-17-20, 06:01 AM
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I use foster coffee maker and it has even worse random display pictures.. I was really surprised when I saw it for the first time. Honestly I guess I couldn't handle it without foster coffee makers user manuals pdf instructions here. I found out how to fix this but sometimes I even miss those funny pics..

Last edited by alexsandro22; 10-18-20 at 04:05 AM.
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