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I feel lonely and stressed out, do you feel the same?

Old 12-15-20, 07:05 AM
  #1  
ropetwitch
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I feel lonely and stressed out, do you feel the same?

Hey guys,

How is everyone? I just wanted to breath a little so I am sharing this.

I hope all is going well with you guys. I, myself don't feel good especially when Covid19 started. I can't go out and ride. I have this feeling that it is unsafe to go out, thinking what if the person I meet is infected, what if the places I go is contaminated. I feel something is lacking. My body feel sick since I used to have an active life before this Covid happened. How can we survive all of these things?

I do smile and laugh,...but deep inside I have this anxiety if we ever gonna be real safe...

Did you also feel the same way?
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Old 12-15-20, 07:17 AM
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I'm not worried about it. When I go out for a ride I don't stop to talk to others, so no issues there. I also go out to stores in the early AM, which I've always done to avoid the crowds. I'm on a work-from-home assignment these days but have Zoom meeting a few times a week (god I hate zoom meetings!), and I never really hang out with co-workers after work hours.

As for the COVID situation: Vaccines will help a lot, but it'll probably be the end of 2021 before the widespread vaccination programs are completed and I'd be confident enough to mingle in crowds, and I might keep using a mask until then too (at least until then).

Big elephant in the room: Will the COVID vaccine be a 'one-time' vaccination thing, or will we have to get it every year (or ten years, or ???)? Still an unanswered question.
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Old 12-15-20, 11:04 AM
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^^^ +1

Eating healthy well-balanced meals and getting good sleep helps with the stress of periods like we are going through. I’m use to video conferencing and tele-commuting for work and mostly just do that now. The social aspect of video or phone chats today can also be a benefit in connecting with friends, family and community and can help you feel socially connected, less lonely or isolated. I’ve always done some volunteer community work with non-profits and can continue doing that safely with video or phone meetings which connects me with the needs of my community and especially my neighbors. I always wear a mask, keep a distance and use hand sanitizer when going out and that helps with feeling protected when doing in-person needed shopping, business work or volunteer work and also getting bicycle or walking/running exercise. I’ve also been getting some of my needed exercise by doing my pilates class online.

So my advise is until vaccines are widely given take personal safety measures to safely get the needed exercise and connection with others for emotional health and to help make you feel productive and caring within body, mind and spirit!!!
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Old 12-15-20, 11:04 AM
  #4  
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COVID or quarantine fatigue... quite common... lots of folks are just damn tired of not meeting others at favorite hangouts, going to restaurants, even group riding. The only things on TV or to stream are old or you've already seen them... the local library is closed, and it has been far far too long since you've heard the joy of live music.

The feelings are shared by many. clemsongirl hit the nail right on the head. I have been making phone calls to folks I have not talked to in a long time. And I do meet with neighbors, outdoors, 12-15 feet apart... but still close enough to share an unmasked smile.

One thing that helps me quite a bit is being home with my wife. I was on the road for over a year an a half... with the latter period being during COVID lock down... full isolation. I am finally back home (since September), and hugs help a lot.

Get outside... exercise... that helps. And know that you are not alone, in spite of what you may feel.
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Old 12-15-20, 12:32 PM
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I'm sorry you feel all this stress.

In my opinion (<-- important caveat!!) you don't need to worry about 'places that I go are contaminated', as long as the kind of outdoor places you go on a bike or hike, like bike lanes and trails. A thing my wife read made a lot of sense to me, if you're out in a park or something and encounter somebody else crossing your path, treat them as if they are smoking a cigarette and you don't want to breathe in their smoke. Otherwise don't worry.

Here's an article by the Mayo clinic, maybe you find it helpful in choosing outdoor activities that you can do safely and without worry or stress, get outside, try to combat some anxiety with exercise. Good luck!
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Old 12-15-20, 12:47 PM
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I'm not lonely with all the voices in my head

Depression sucks and the sad thing is a lot of people don't get it and they see you happy and are like "you can't be depressed". Yeah try me.

The important thing is to get out and ride and do things away from others. Yeah it is a scary world out there heck I worked in a bike shop through all of this and had to deal with all manner of yahoos deciding to not wear a mask or not follow our rules and getting angry at us for them not following our rules in our business to keep ourselves and also them safe. Some of my friends and I play games and Zoom chat at the same time and it helps get through stuff and we occasionally do socially distant hikes and biking but it is a risk but we do our best to stay safe and keep our masks on and not touch each other and such.

Getting outside can be crucial and in my case a lot of it has been early or late to avoid people and it works pretty well aside from my sleep schedule.

It can be a scary world right now but take care of yourself. If you need a therapist ask around and don't be afraid of them. Know you aren't alone ever. We might be all random internet people but I have no doubts that at least a good portion of us wouldn't be there to talk for a little bit about stuff even if it is to argue chain lubes and discs vs rim brakes...LOL.

Keep your chin up and don't be afraid to ask for help. If you ever need to just chat you can also PM me and I am down. We can talk about just about anything doesn't have to be bike related.
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Old 12-15-20, 02:30 PM
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Catastrophizing is a term I learned earlier this year which causes the kind of stress you describe. Physical exercise is my number one go-to for the blues and cycling is my favorite. Here are a couple notes on Catastrophizing:

1) Deal with evidence. Challenge your own mind saying “that’s not true, because [insert evidence here]

2) Reframe. “A better way to see this is...”

3) Plan. “If this happens, then I’ll...”

4) Gratitude is your superpower. Express gratitude to others daily—spoken, written. Be part of the “Hunt the good stuff Army”.

Like Red Green up at possum lodge says “Keep your stick on the ice and remember, we’re all in this together.”

Cheers!
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Old 12-15-20, 02:45 PM
  #8  
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No matter how bad things seem to be We have it way better than people 200 years ago. Even Kings didn't have it as good as we have it now. If you're hungry, no need to hunt your food, you just go to your refrigerator. You got TV, phones, cars. I mean we got it made...comparitively speaking.
I totally get your fears and I believe you should have some natural fears of the virus but don't make it a phobia... I have a natural precautionary fear of snakes but not a phobia. I have a healthy fear of spiders, bears, mountain lions, etc but no phobia. I think once you get to phobia level we should seek professional help.
I always look to the skilled pro. Look at the leading experts of contagious virus. He exercises daily, I exercise daily, he wears a mask , I wear a mask. The day he stays Inside and doesn't leave his house I'll be worried. When I fly and I get nervous because of some turbulence I look at the flight attendant, if they're smiling I'm good. If the day comes that they look scared, I'll be scared but it'll be only one last time.
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Old 12-15-20, 10:39 PM
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It's a difficult time. There's nobody alive who has seen this; it's not a healthy environment, mentally or physically.

I work with about twenty guys, webexing almost all day long. I can tell everyone is feeling stress, some sound down. People react differently. My boss is usually a fairly aggressive, edgy guy. He's become pretty toned down, letting things slide he'd have been all over before. Another guy, one who works for me, has become more aggressive than normal. I've had to talk him down a couple times.

I get out and ride. I feel I have to for my mental health. Not everyone is comfortable with that, and that's their decision. Landing in a hospital at this time isn't a great way to avoid COVID. I'm choosing to take that risk, but that's my choice.

Take care of yourself.
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Old 12-15-20, 10:46 PM
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I don't feel lonely, since somebody always keeps finding my hiding spot. and I only get stressed out when they try to drag me out from my hiding spot.
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Old 12-15-20, 11:36 PM
  #11  
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Originally Posted by texaspandj View Post
No matter how bad things seem to be We have it way better than people 200 years ago. Even Kings didn't have it as good as we have it now. If you're hungry, no need to hunt your food, you just go to your refrigerator. You got TV, phones, cars. I mean we got it made...comparitively speaking.
I totally get your fears and I believe you should have some natural fears of the virus but don't make it a phobia... I have a natural precautionary fear of snakes but not a phobia. I have a healthy fear of spiders, bears, mountain lions, etc but no phobia. I think once you get to phobia level we should seek professional help.
I always look to the skilled pro. Look at the leading experts of contagious virus. He exercises daily, I exercise daily, he wears a mask , I wear a mask. The day he stays Inside and doesn't leave his house I'll be worried. When I fly and I get nervous because of some turbulence I look at the flight attendant, if they're smiling I'm good. If the day comes that they look scared, I'll be scared but it'll be only one last time.
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Old 12-15-20, 11:56 PM
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Originally Posted by ropetwitch View Post
Hey guys,

How is everyone? I just wanted to breath a little so I am sharing this.

I hope all is going well with you guys. I, myself don't feel good especially when Covid19 started. I can't go out and ride. I have this feeling that it is unsafe to go out, thinking what if the person I meet is infected, what if the places I go is contaminated. I feel something is lacking. My body feel sick since I used to have an active life before this Covid happened. How can we survive all of these things?

I do smile and laugh,...but deep inside I have this anxiety if we ever gonna be real safe...

Did you also feel the same way?
A lot of people are in your same situation, so you're not alone. there are a lot of ways to have positive human interactions that are safe. take baby steps and go outside for solo walks or bike rides. just seeing people (even from a distance) in outdoor spaces can make you feel better.
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Old 12-16-20, 12:04 AM
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It's a hard time and it can be scary. I'm very grateful that this has happened in the modern world that we have, as I can easily video call my friends and family, I can reach out to people across the world over the internet. With riding I have avoided riding where there are lots of people (if it's just me on a mountain I don't have to worry about covid). I did take a tumble on my bike the other day (20 years since my last accident, talk about bad timing) and that has made me think about things a bit more. In parts of the USA hospitals are very crowded so if it had been serious it might have been difficult to get treatment. Luckily it was small enough that the walk in clinic could patch me up.
Be safe out there, reach out to the people you know, and as veganbikes said, don't be afraid to ask for help, the people here are nice/glad to help a fellow cyclist
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Old 12-16-20, 12:22 AM
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Cheer Up! I’m here last summer in the chair of shame. Having a beer getting loved by beagles. Times are hard I am bored to tears so you are not alone. You have a community that you can vent and talk to when times are tough and life really sucks. Everything will get better we just have to get strong and get through all of this BS. At the end we will all be stronger!
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Old 12-16-20, 02:21 AM
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Originally Posted by ropetwitch View Post
Hey guys,

I hope all is going well with you guys. I, myself don't feel good especially when Covid19 started. I can't go out and ride. I have this feeling that it is unsafe to go out, thinking what if the person I meet is infected, what if the places I go is contaminated. I feel something is lacking. My body feel sick since I used to have an active life before this Covid happened. How can we survive all of these things?

Did you also feel the same way?
Going out in the sunlight to exercise will improve your immunity. You will probably feel better as well.

Research information about Covid-19, so you get a better understanding of it. Are We Being Told the Truth About COVID-19?

Also research information on natural things you can use to promote immunity. If you understand these things, you will probably stop worrying.

I am not stressed or worried at all. I go out cycling often.
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Old 12-16-20, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Hondo Gravel View Post

Cheer Up! I’m here last summer in the chair of shame. Having a beer getting loved by beagles. Times are hard I am bored to tears so you are not alone. You have a community that you can vent and talk to when times are tough and life really sucks. Everything will get better we just have to get strong and get through all of this BS. At the end we will all be stronger!
BEER & Dogs ....... it aint ever much better in the south of Texas
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Old 12-16-20, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Hondo Gravel View Post

Cheer Up! I’m here last summer in the chair of shame. Having a beer getting loved by beagles. Times are hard I am bored to tears so you are not alone. You have a community that you can vent and talk to when times are tough and life really sucks. Everything will get better we just have to get strong and get through all of this BS. At the end we will all be stronger!
I've always pictured HG being chased by hound dogs and being put behind bars...Dang! I was right.
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Old 12-16-20, 12:49 PM
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Really stressed right now. My wife decided that due to the virus we needed to homeschool our kids since they didn't handle online learning and she worried about the school. So great, except I've got a doctoral thesis rough draft due by dec 30th or the program is done and my 3.8gpa won't matter for anything, end of the program. Meanwhile my job didn't go away it only got harder due to the demands of the illness. My usual escape is cycling but even that is stressful since its time from the things I need to be doing. I've also got severe ADHD so I'm typing this since I hit a road block in what I was writing and need to distract myself from the writing I was trying to do till I can clear my head. But if I leave the computer I won't come back to it till 11 tonight due to the rest of life.
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Old 12-16-20, 03:44 PM
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I'm not so worried about Covid itself perse, but some of the changes it has brought about in my situation and in people around me.

I actually feel a lot safer out riding - you tend to be a lot further away from folks than you are going to a store or doing any family or work activity. Someone suggested above that getting out might help - bit of fresh air, vitamin D from the sunshine, and a few good endorphins!

Lonely is not something a married person with a 3 year old often gets the chance to feel, but I do miss the old regular things and being able to see some of my friends and interact 'normally' with them. I guess that living in a large apartment building which has a good sense of community helps too.

Work is a bit stressful. A few projects are not going to plan because of Covid (delays etc). I've also just clashed with a couple of people in my industry. My ex-boss can go to Hell in a handbasket, but someone else was really hurtful and made a very public - but entirely false - allegation that I'd committed a criminal act. I genuinely sought legal advice about suing them! The lawyer said that I'd likely win a defamation action (case is fairly straight forward), but then she asked 'but what are you actually hoping to win?' That I couldn't answer. I decided to let it go. The other person will probably have karma bit them on the backside soon enough, although I fear that they are mentally troubled enough that they would be a genuine suicide risk if under great stress. I don't like them, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

And my brother in law is still deserving of being stoned in public. You can all join in. Please. Long story, not Covid related.

Being on a low dose anti-depressant helped, although I'm off them now as the Doc advised to trial coming off for a bit to see how I was feeling.

Anyway...you are not alone in having this odd year tip you on your head. We feel and share your pain. Hang in there...and go for a ride!
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Old 12-16-20, 05:19 PM
  #20  
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Yup, that really is the bottom line... the OP is not alone... it has been one odd year.

I actually drove cross country with an RV travel trailer in March in the middle of the COVID lockdown... It was "Twilight Zone" weird. Empty streets and highways, unattended gas stations, and doing business at stops by phone and no physical face to face contact.

On the plus side, the roads were empty... period. A few truckers here and there, and the rare Highway patrol, but otherwise, no traffic at all.

I started a new job... never went into the office. Have never met my co-workers.

Yeah, it has been a strange year... for one to not feel "something is odd" with this year, would in of itself be odd.
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Old 12-16-20, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by ropetwitch View Post
Hey guys,

How is everyone? I just wanted to breath a little so I am sharing this.

I hope all is going well with you guys. I, myself don't feel good especially when Covid19 started. I can't go out and ride. I have this feeling that it is unsafe to go out, thinking what if the person I meet is infected, what if the places I go is contaminated. I feel something is lacking. My body feel sick since I used to have an active life before this Covid happened. How can we survive all of these things?

I do smile and laugh,...but deep inside I have this anxiety if we ever gonna be real safe...

Did you also feel the same way?
Dear ropetwitch:

Get help. I'm being serious, not snarky, and I am not implying you are crazy (you aren't) or that you are somehow defective (you aren't). I'm saying that dealing with all the stresses of 2020, which have been piled on top of all the stresses we usually face, can be very difficult - you obviously don't need me to tell you that. But I can guarantee that the vast majority of us are dealing with more now than we were a year ago, and it hits some of us harder than others. The feelings you describe are completely legit. But there are things you can do to reduce - not eliminate, but reduce - the impact they have on your life.

A good counselor or therapist can make a big difference. He or she won't make everything rainbows and unicorns, but they can help you understand where your fears and anxiety are coming from. With that, they can help you learn ways of better coping with them. All of this has to come from within you, but a good counselor/therapist can be invaluable in directing your search.

So please, get help. You are worth it.
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Old 12-16-20, 08:41 PM
  #22  
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Originally Posted by JonnyHK View Post
I'm not so worried about Covid itself perse, but some of the changes it has brought about in my situation and in people around me.

I actually feel a lot safer out riding - you tend to be a lot further away from folks than you are going to a store or doing any family or work activity. Someone suggested above that getting out might help - bit of fresh air, vitamin D from the sunshine, and a few good endorphins!

Lonely is not something a married person with a 3 year old often gets the chance to feel, but I do miss the old regular things and being able to see some of my friends and interact 'normally' with them. I guess that living in a large apartment building which has a good sense of community helps too.

Work is a bit stressful. A few projects are not going to plan because of Covid (delays etc). I've also just clashed with a couple of people in my industry. My ex-boss can go to Hell in a handbasket, but someone else was really hurtful and made a very public - but entirely false - allegation that I'd committed a criminal act. I genuinely sought legal advice about suing them! The lawyer said that I'd likely win a defamation action (case is fairly straight forward), but then she asked 'but what are you actually hoping to win?' That I couldn't answer. I decided to let it go. The other person will probably have karma bit them on the backside soon enough, although I fear that they are mentally troubled enough that they would be a genuine suicide risk if under great stress. I don't like them, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

And my brother in law is still deserving of being stoned in public. You can all join in. Please. Long story, not Covid related.

Being on a low dose anti-depressant helped, although I'm off them now as the Doc advised to trial coming off for a bit to see how I was feeling.

Anyway...you are not alone in having this odd year tip you on your head. We feel and share your pain. Hang in there...and go for a ride!
I have two of those.
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Old 12-17-20, 12:22 AM
  #23  
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Engage in activities that are guaranteed to elevate your mood and sense of self worth, I suggest vigorous exercise, blasting rock and roll and consuming potato chips. I recommend Tim's cascade style chips 🚀
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Old 12-17-20, 02:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Goofball View Post
Engage in activities that are guaranteed to elevate your mood and sense of self worth, I suggest vigorous exercise, blasting rock and roll while doing some serious air guitar action dressed like Tom Cruise in the film Risky Business.
FIFY. You can have the chips later as a bonus if you want.
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Old 12-17-20, 11:59 AM
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2020's been rough. I found consolation in my biggest hobby this year--gardening/landscaping. I look at it the way I do public speaking, which some find terrifying. When speaking about a topic that you're comfortable/passionate with, it makes all the difference. Anxiety melts away. Do the same with the challenges of 2020 and beyond. Find your comfort zone and go with it. I only did two, yes two, modest bike rides this season. I was that caught up in an alternative activity that I enjoy immensely. And I'm not even an old retired fart yet.
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