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It was the Worst of Presents, It was the Best of Presents

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It was the Worst of Presents, It was the Best of Presents

Old 12-24-20, 10:22 AM
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It was the Worst of Presents, It was the Best of Presents

Tell us the worst present you ever received, gave or saw given or the best gift or both. Let's hold off on the new crutch for Tiny Tim, okay?

I give my wife scratch off tickets for a stocking stuffer. One Christmas I thought it would be fun to give her a fake mixed in with the real. Her joy at winning $10,000 made me realize I was in deep **** when it dawned on her it was a fake. I truly misjudged her ability to take that kind of joke. Now I know her sense of humor stops at the $ sign.


Do Not Give to someone you have to live with...
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Old 12-24-20, 10:53 AM
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I hate to tell you, but most people dislike being pranked. Double points if it involves embarrassment or money.
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Old 12-24-20, 11:16 AM
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I gave my wife can openers one year... three of them to be exact... one crappy manual, one nicer manual and an electric can opener, as "the ultimate gift."

Then, when all other gifts had been opened... I gave her a can.

Inside the can was a nice silver bracelet.
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Old 12-24-20, 11:30 AM
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I'm thinking of giving my kid a box with all of the tools he broke.
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Old 12-24-20, 11:43 AM
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Friend gave his wife a $0.99 mylar survival blanket. That was the only thing he got her. She still talks about it and she's still pissed off when she does.
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Old 12-24-20, 11:57 AM
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My father's "Big Gift" to my mother was like an annual running joke when I was growing up. He would swing for the fence but inevitably whatever the thing was it would miss the mark. For example, he buys her these big diamond earrings, nope, she likes her diamonds where she can see them and she couldn't see 'em in her ears. Bought her a Pontiac convertible one year; too cold in December for a convertible take it back.

He finally scored when he bought her the K Mart stock. This gift was perfect for my mother as she loved a blue-light special. When she got that stock she went from being a customer to an owner and she ran her local store with an iron fist. That poor GM must have dreaded having her come through his doors after that Christmas.
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Old 12-24-20, 12:46 PM
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Originally Posted by genec View Post
I gave my wife can openers one year... three of them to be exact... one crappy manual, one nicer manual and an electric can opener, as "the ultimate gift."

Then, when all other gifts had been opened... I gave her a can.

Inside the can was a nice silver bracelet.
Clever I hope she didn't shake the can first to try and guess its contents.
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Old 12-24-20, 12:50 PM
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Originally Posted by skijor View Post
Clever I hope she didn't shake the can first to try and guess its contents.
It wasn't loose in there... it was actually in a little velvet bag surrounded by that crinkly gift paper. But she needed a can opener to get to it. It was packed by a gag gift company in a mall... and had a Christmas appropriate label.

The thing is, before the holidays, she had been complaining about our existing can opener... so this was a dual gift.

I have not been as clever since...

I actually got her a vacuum cleaner one year...
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Old 12-24-20, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by genec View Post
It wasn't loose in there... it was actually in a little velvet bag surrounded by that crinkly gift paper. But she needed a can opener to get to it. It was packed by a gag gift company in a mall... and had a Christmas appropriate label.

The thing is, before the holidays, she had been complaining about our existing can opener... so this was a dual gift.

I have not been as clever since...

I actually got her a vacuum cleaner one year...
Miele?
That's an occasional Foo topic. I'm sick of my Kirby trying to eat my area rugs.
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Old 12-24-20, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by skijor View Post
Miele?
That's an occasional Foo topic. I'm sick of my Kirby trying to eat my area rugs.
No, Kenmore. It lasted about 4 years... that was so so long ago.
Vacuum cleaners and printers... they both seem poorly built and easily disposed of... I have no idea how many of either I have bought and tossed over the decades.
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Old 12-24-20, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
My father's "Big Gift" to my mother was like an annual running joke when I was growing up. He would swing for the fence but inevitably whatever the thing was it would miss the mark. For example, he buys her these big diamond earrings, nope, she likes her diamonds where she can see them and she couldn't see 'em in her ears. Bought her a Pontiac convertible one year; too cold in December for a convertible take it back.

He finally scored when he bought her the K Mart stock. This gift was perfect for my mother as she loved a blue-light special. When she got that stock she went from being a customer to an owner and she ran her local store with an iron fist. That poor GM must have dreaded having her come through his doors after that Christmas.
So that's why K Mart went bankrupt? Your mom "micromanaged" the place to financial ruin!
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Old 12-24-20, 02:33 PM
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For the "Christmas Story" fans.

.
...like Ralphie and every other male kid I knew at the time, I wanted the Daisy BB gun. I wanted it for several years, but I was never "old enough".

The Christmas morning I finally got one, I was elated when I unwrapped it. There it was...MINE A LAST!!!

It took me about five minutes to figure out that my mother had, once again, outsmarted me. She bought me a Daisy air rifle. You pumped it up with a lever, and when you pulled the trigger, it made a loud "Pop!". No BB's, no pellets, not even any explosive rolls of caps, that you could pound with a rock,or set on fire , and hope for some excitement. Five minutes of elation, followed by six years of resentment.

There was some minor joy when I figured out you could jam the muzzle in dirt, and shoot a wad of clay ten or twelve feet. But that was about it. I never managed to shoot anyone's eye out.
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Old 12-24-20, 03:47 PM
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gag gifts are a blast. got my granddaughter at 1 year old a beer bottle dog toy she trued drinking it right away it was so funny. got my daughter a ****ts creek coloring book called a ****ty coloring book. my son in law is a gamer I got him a chocolate controller and his now 3 year old daughter got him a dog toy controller. got the granddaughter Scottie dog cookies this year and my daughter who does not like politicians a pooping either Joe biden or pence figure its hard to tell. wife loves frogs so I got her a aloha shirt with lots of frogs and its green her favorite color.
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Old 12-24-20, 04:52 PM
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I got my GF a keypad opener for the garage door so she could open it without walking outside in the bad weather as a little something extra one year and she was ecstatic. She still talks about how it's her favorite present, I guess that's both good and bad news.
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Old 12-24-20, 05:02 PM
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worst/most useless x-mas present i ever got was one of those peel-off tacky strip lint rollers.
yes, it was a serious gift.
yes, it went to goodwill, i think. might have gone in the trash, unused.
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Old 12-24-20, 05:07 PM
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This wasn't a Christmas gift, but I entered a drawing at the jewellers when I bought my ex wife some ear rings as a wedding present (as if I needed to ad anything to the pleasure of being married to me). They called me and said I'd won a ladies diamond ring the afternoon of our first day back at work after our honeymoon. We both hurried over to the jewellers after work to pick up the prize and while she ended up being somewhat underwhelmed by it she was still pretty excited about winning it. She ended up taking it back and exchanging it for a nice Seiko watch I wore for years as well as something for her, we both ended up pretty happy in the end.
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Old 12-24-20, 07:45 PM
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I got a surround sound system for the TV so it would be more like being in a movie theatre.

I havent watched TV since 2003.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 12-24-20, 08:42 PM
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I got a box of rocks like Charlie Brown.
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Old 12-24-20, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by 3alarmer View Post
.
...like Ralphie and every other male kid I knew at the time, I wanted the Daisy BB gun. I wanted it for several years, but I was never "old enough".

The Christmas morning I finally got one, I was elated when I unwrapped it. There it was...MINE A LAST!!!

It took me about five minutes to figure out that my mother had, once again, outsmarted me. She bought me a Daisy air rifle. You pumped it up with a lever, and when you pulled the trigger, it made a loud "Pop!". No BB's, no pellets, not even any explosive rolls of caps, that you could pound with a rock,or set on fire , and hope for some excitement. Five minutes of elation, followed by six years of resentment.

There was some minor joy when I figured out you could jam the muzzle in dirt, and shoot a wad of clay ten or twelve feet. But that was about it. I never managed to shoot anyone's eye out.
Yule put yer eye out.


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Old 12-24-20, 08:52 PM
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I put coal in the kids' stockings one year. (Actually, it was BBQ briquettes, and I put them in zip-lock baggies so as not to dirty the interior of the stockings hung by the chimney with care.)
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Old 12-24-20, 09:03 PM
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Originally Posted by wgscott View Post
Yule put yer eye out.

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Old 12-24-20, 09:07 PM
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I got Bear catnip. He thought it was yummy. Now he looks really confused.
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Old 12-24-20, 09:14 PM
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Our last walk before my wife and I head to CDG airport and the long flight home is the best gift (and ritual) we share with each other when we spend the holidays with my family. I’ll miss it this year…..

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Old 12-24-20, 10:10 PM
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I just wrapped up a very small case of very very small rolls of toilet paper we were conned into purchasing on Amazon during the first panic, and labeled it as a present to my daughter from one of the dogs.
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Old 12-24-20, 10:18 PM
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my grand daughter with her first present and its a gag gift for daddy. daddy also got a new gate latch because their gate latch broke (G)


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