Go Back  Bike Forums > The Lounge > Foo
Reload this Page >

Humorous encounters with the cops.

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

Humorous encounters with the cops.

Old 01-18-06, 11:36 AM
  #26  
Karldar
SNIKT!
 
Karldar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Home for wayward mutants
Posts: 1,560

Bikes: '06 Kona Dawg Deluxe/'06 Cannondale F400(frame)/'98 Cannondale SuperV1000

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Here's one:

Heading back to Ft. Hood, TX from TN on New Year's Eve/Day 1993(I think). I'm on the interstate(don't remember which one) and it's a section that yo-yo's between 55 and 65 MPH. Open road, it's 65, hit city limits(on the damn interstate, fer cryin' out loud), it's 55. I get pulled over by DPS between Bruce and Eddie, TX for, yep, 65 in a 55. I was probably actually going faster, but I'm sure I missed the sign at the Bruce city limits or didn't slow down fast enough. I mention, casually, that I'm in the Army and heading back to Ft. Hood, as we speak, to begin a new year of service to my country. I might've mentioned that I was in an MP unit, too. He seemed thrilled to be writing his first ticket of the year.
__________________
I like pie!
"The bright flicker of our television screens is the stolen incandescence of a thousand young minds." - Theodore W. Gray
"you taught us to fish while so many others were handing out tuna sandwiches" - Ziggurat
Karldar is offline  
Old 01-18-06, 01:47 PM
  #27  
eubi
No Rocket Surgeon
 
eubi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Corona and S. El Monte, CA
Posts: 1,648

Bikes: Cannondale D600, Dahon Speed T7

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
"I'm not drunk, occifer, I only had tee martoonies."

"I wasn't speeding, but I passed a couple of guys that were."
eubi is offline  
Old 01-18-06, 03:34 PM
  #28  
catatonic
Chairman of the Bored
 
catatonic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Posts: 5,825

Bikes: 2004 Raleigh Talus, 2001 Motobecane Vent Noir (Custom build for heavy riders)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
This one's a little racy, but I think I've done a good job with the re-wording to make it a bit safe:

I was in my sophomore year of high school, and in a little lakeside rendevous with my current girlfriend....and well...things were going on in the backseat so to say.

...all of a sudden I notice a light coming forth from between us....I was thinking "Damn Steve...I know I'm good, but what the heck...?"....

....then I heard a knock at the window....awkwardness ensued.

...Even worse....it was our next door neighbor (he was a county sheriff), who was also friends with her mom's boyfriend...so word got around.

....the funny part was his question about the flashlight "Son, didn't you know something was up during the flashlight bit?"

---Well, at first I was thinking I was so good that I glowed...but then realized that was just me being full of it as usual...so I was catching up to speed right when you were knocking on the window...let's jsut say the lesser brain was doing the thinking.

"Heh, well you two take care, no ticket, but your folks will know."

--Sir...

"Yeah"

--can you not tell your friend...her brother wants an excuse to whoop my butt

"Too late, you did know he has a police scanner right"

--oh heck....then can you shoot me?

"no"

--please, I'll give you a cookie.

"no!"

--two coo...

"no, no, NO! I am not shooting you, even if her psycho of a brother is going to be pissed...just go deal with it.

--alright then....will you at least be at the funeral?

"heh, just get out of here..."

catatonic is offline  
Old 01-18-06, 04:07 PM
  #29  
cycleprincess
NEVER WALK A HILL
 
cycleprincess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,184

Bikes: Bianchi Volpe Specialized Dolce Vita Multi Sport

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Oh man my girlfriend just got out of a ticket a week ago she told me all about it. Cop stopped her for going 55 in a 35. She breaks down in tears and then her two kids start crying because mommy is crying. Cop comes up to the window and the three of them are balling. She then gives an award winning performance about how if she comes home with a ticket her husband will beat her. Says he's been beating her for months and she's been trying to get up the nerve to leave him. Cop falls for it and refers her to the women's shelter (gives her a pamphlet even) and tells her he won't have that on his conscience. Totally lets her go! I couldn't believe it.

I could never pull that off.
cycleprincess is offline  
Old 01-18-06, 08:02 PM
  #30  
catatonic
Chairman of the Bored
 
catatonic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Posts: 5,825

Bikes: 2004 Raleigh Talus, 2001 Motobecane Vent Noir (Custom build for heavy riders)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Oh my god....that's oscar-worthy right there.

I've never been able to pull stunts like that off....

Oh, antoher story...aka how Catatonic nearly got arrested in Indiana's "Operation pullover" for being a jacktard.

Operation pullover was a program where they randomly roadblocked areas and done license/registration checks, and sometimes vehicle searches....it was later found illegal and the program was halted.

"License and registration please"
--here you go officer
"whats in that cigar you are smoking?"
--tobacco sir
"mind if I check it?"
--uhh...what for, i just spent good money on this.
"just give it to me"
(he tears it apart to prove there's no weed...power-tripping a-hole...that was a $25 Cohiba...this means war)
"OK it's clean, so do you have anything else of note?"
--not really, and if by of note, you mean premium cocaine, well i don't have any of that either.
"OK get the hell out of the car....GET THE DOG!"
(about 2 hours later, and a really pissed off cop)
"I should have you arrested"
--for what?
"For lying to an officer"
--how so?
"you tricked us into searching your car"
--no, you alreaddy judged me based on my dress, choice of vehicle, and my age...I told you the truth, that I had no cocaine....yet you still searched me....I see no problem here.
"We'll see about that."
(starts looking for code violations on the car....car's immaculate, so no chance of that)
"Hmm, car's clean"
--Yeah. I gotta admit something though...I also do not posess LSD.
(another search later)
"Do you want obstruction of justice?"
--No thanks officer, it screws with my high spirits.
(a urine test later)
--officer, that was fun, can i have another
"Ok that does it..."
(a few minutes later)
"OK, we have to let you go.....since we don't have anything on you....please stop wasting our time from now on...we are trying to stop dangerous motorists"
--OK, but next time, can you guys please use a tactic that is not considered an unreasonable search? that's why i was being a prick...I find this entire thing to be a violation of my rights, and if I'm going to be violated, I might as well make sure both parties are equally annoyed. Take it easy officer, don't let the next smartaleck get to you as bad.

....I'm amazed I got off easily for that....found out since I kept saying that I did not have any, i just barely got out of any charges....If I said I had a drug, and did not have it, I could have been brought in.
catatonic is offline  
Old 01-18-06, 09:53 PM
  #31  
cuda2k
Unique Vintage Steel
 
cuda2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Allen, TX
Posts: 11,522

Bikes: Kirk Frameworks JKS-C, Serotta Nova, Gazelle AB-Frame, Fuji Team Issue, Surly Straggler

Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 25 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
True story - 65mph in a 35 zone... in a beautiful bronze colored 1967 Camaro SS (black racing stripes, cowl hood and hood pins, shorty mufflers, huge tach attached to the dash, the works. Behind the wheel is a friend of mine at the time, in high school, but she is the smallest most harmless looking person you've probably ever met. She was trying to make it to band inspection on time before the friday night game - gets pulled over. Apparently she was bawling too hard for the police officer to get any information out of her and eventually let her go with a verbal warning. Have you ever seen an entire marching band's jaw drop in unison? it's a sight to behold!
cuda2k is offline  
Old 01-19-06, 12:20 AM
  #32  
Pink_Ninja
Mullet Boy!
 
Pink_Ninja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 690

Bikes: a giant upland 03, old europia road bike or something and soon to be getting a Norco Bigfoot or something of the sort

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by DannoXYZ

Check out this cop gag.


NSFW warning: may have adult-content ads...
damn... I didnt read the NSFW warning...
Pink_Ninja is offline  
Old 01-19-06, 08:47 AM
  #33  
Karldar
SNIKT!
 
Karldar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Home for wayward mutants
Posts: 1,560

Bikes: '06 Kona Dawg Deluxe/'06 Cannondale F400(frame)/'98 Cannondale SuperV1000

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Another one, still in Texas:

One night, Iím over at a buddyís apartment drinking, um, well, alcoholic beverages...in large quantities. Iím pretty sure Purple Passion was involved, among other things. Itís just me, another guy(an MP) from my unit, and the lease holder. Weíre well into our cups waiting on my buddyís wife(a waitress at a bar) to get off work when he gets a phone call. Well, their phone had been disconnected so the neighbor actually got the call. Anyway, his wifeís in the Bell County Jail for serving someone who was already drunk.

We leap/stumble into action to go get her out. Iím done, toasted, no driving for me. My buddy pretty much paced me that night, so heís pretty far gone, tooÖnot to mention emotionally charged. We decide amongst ourselves, with only the foresight that drunks have, to let our MP friend drive. Heís less drunk, plus, heís a freakiní MP! Weíll be fine, of course! To make things even safer, letís take my car(a totally flat black í83 Monte Carlo-only things not painted black are the Z28 rims and the glass on it). Hell, why not, right? We speed off to the jail, hopefully not exceeding the speed limit. I canít remember much of the ride other than taking half the trip to light my cigarette and it was the filter, at that!

We get there and go to the desk/check-in thing. Her hubby and our MP talk to the deputy there. I hang back, probably Ďcause I was useless by this point, if not before. I soon get sent outside for growling at the deputy(unbeknownst to me ).

While Iím sitting on the stoop of the jail, Iím approached by a car. The deputy driving asks to see some ID. Iím having trouble seeing at this point and canít find my license. I finally pull out my military driverís license, which is little more than a list of military vehicles youíre qualified to drive signed by your commander/motor officer. No picture on it or anything. Iím surprised he didnít take my wallet and get my ID himself.

He asks me some more questions, but all I remember is the part about knowing he could arrest me for PI. Oh, and I was underage, too. Nice, huh? I agree with him and for some odd reason he lets me go. My friends come out with the bad news that my buddyís wife has to spend the night. Maybe we didnít have bail. I dunno. I relate the conversation I had with the passing deputy and realize that Iím so drunk I couldnít tell if he was black or white or some other color maybe...

The MP found my glasses on the sidewalkÖI'm extremely near-sighted
__________________
I like pie!
"The bright flicker of our television screens is the stolen incandescence of a thousand young minds." - Theodore W. Gray
"you taught us to fish while so many others were handing out tuna sandwiches" - Ziggurat
Karldar is offline  
Old 01-19-06, 11:47 AM
  #34  
baiskeli
unaangalia nini?
 
baiskeli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Arlington MA
Posts: 1,136

Bikes: Jamis Quest (Ultegra components,Mavic Ksyrium Elite wheels and Reynods Ouzo Pro Fork), Gary Fisher Tassajara

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by catatonic
Oh my god....that's oscar-worthy right there.

I've never been able to pull stunts like that off....

Oh, antoher story...aka how Catatonic nearly got arrested in Indiana's "Operation pullover" for being a jacktard.

Operation pullover was a program where they randomly roadblocked areas and done license/registration checks, and sometimes vehicle searches....it was later found illegal and the program was halted.

"License and registration please"
--here you go officer
"whats in that cigar you are smoking?"
--tobacco sir
"mind if I check it?"
--uhh...what for, i just spent good money on this.
"just give it to me"
(he tears it apart to prove there's no weed...power-tripping a-hole...that was a $25 Cohiba...this means war)
"OK it's clean, so do you have anything else of note?"
--not really, and if by of note, you mean premium cocaine, well i don't have any of that either.
"OK get the hell out of the car....GET THE DOG!"
(about 2 hours later, and a really pissed off cop)
"I should have you arrested"
--for what?
"For lying to an officer"
--how so?
"you tricked us into searching your car"
--no, you alreaddy judged me based on my dress, choice of vehicle, and my age...I told you the truth, that I had no cocaine....yet you still searched me....I see no problem here.
"We'll see about that."
(starts looking for code violations on the car....car's immaculate, so no chance of that)
"Hmm, car's clean"
--Yeah. I gotta admit something though...I also do not posess LSD.
(another search later)
"Do you want obstruction of justice?"
--No thanks officer, it screws with my high spirits.
(a urine test later)
--officer, that was fun, can i have another
"Ok that does it..."
(a few minutes later)
"OK, we have to let you go.....since we don't have anything on you....please stop wasting our time from now on...we are trying to stop dangerous motorists"
--OK, but next time, can you guys please use a tactic that is not considered an unreasonable search? that's why i was being a prick...I find this entire thing to be a violation of my rights, and if I'm going to be violated, I might as well make sure both parties are equally annoyed. Take it easy officer, don't let the next smartaleck get to you as bad.

....I'm amazed I got off easily for that....found out since I kept saying that I did not have any, i just barely got out of any charges....If I said I had a drug, and did not have it, I could have been brought in.
Now, that was good!

__________________
baiskeli is offline  
Old 01-19-06, 12:18 PM
  #35  
bbattle
.
 
bbattle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rocket City, No'ala
Posts: 12,733

Bikes: 2014 Trek Domane 5.2, 1985 Pinarello Trevisio, 1991 Colnago Master, '06 Bianchi San Jose, 1987 Moulton Fuso, 1990 Gardin Shred, '82 John Howard(Dave Tesch)

Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 47 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I set my burglar alarm off once when I lived out in the country. I called the local police to tell them it was a false alarm but 30 minutes later, they showed up anyways. We chatted a bit and they said around here we don't get much crime, mostly domestic stuff and burglaries. And by the neighborhood that it happens in, we can pretty much tell who did it. He also said 90% of the crime was between relatives. I said that was good for me since I wasn't related to anyone in the area.
__________________
Bicycle Pictures
bbattle is offline  
Old 01-19-06, 01:07 PM
  #36  
squeegy200
Senior Member
 
squeegy200's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,377

Bikes: Colnago Altain, Klein Pulse II, Stumpjumper FSR, GT Zaskar LE, Pedalforce RS2

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Growing up and living in the Central Valley of California, I used to put my pellet gun in the drops of my handlebars and ride my bike out to the river on weekends. We would shoot soda cans off fences, fruit off trees, or float objects in the river for more difficult moving targets.

I always carried a permit whenever I carried the rifle. One day I was stopped by a Highway patrolman. After examining my permit, he asked if I would allow him to shoot my gun. He showed me how to refine my own technique. But what was impressive was how well he could hit distant targets with my little pump-action .177 cal pellet rifle!
__________________
98 Colnago Altain
08 Pedalforce RS2
00 Specialized Stumpjumper FSR
06 NYCbikes Single Speed (John Deere Special)
squeegy200 is offline  
Old 01-19-06, 04:09 PM
  #37  
neaolin
Senior Member
 
neaolin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 44
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I've never had a humorous run-in with the cops.

I had a pothead buddy that had a humorous run-in though. He and my other friend were arrested for public intoxication. They never frisked my PH buddy. I should mention that he only has a thumb and one finger on his left hand. Anyways, when he was in the back of the squad car, he easily slipped out of the cuffs, reached in his sock pulled out his smoking paraphanelia, and put it beneath the seat of the cop car. He was only charged with public intox and the cops never found the bowl while they had him in custody.
neaolin is offline  
Old 03-29-08, 06:56 PM
  #38  
Michigander
Banned.
Thread Starter
 
Michigander's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,726

Bikes: Giant ATX 1200, Schwinn Peleton

Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 437 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Time for a bump!

In late January I was being extremely badly tail gated while I drove around in a borrowed compact car. I decided to swerve from one side of the lane to the other, over and over to get the jerk to back off. It worked, but a cop pulled me over, and gave me a ticket. The ticket was for "improper lane use", which I later found out meant he was saying I swerved outside of the lane, which I knew I didn't do.

Being the obnoxious little **** that I am, I FOIA'd his notes, which actually documented the fact I never left the lane, which proved I didn't actually violate a law. So I set up a hearing in front of the magistrate.

I spent probably 15 hours doing research and talking to people about the best way to handle it. I came into the hearing with notes I'd taken right after it happened, measurements of the road, and some other things. I planned out everything I was going to say, and even had my psychology major friend help me figure out some good words to use. My case was almost flawless.

The cop came in not having any idea what I had been up to. I don't think he read his notes until after the hearing started, and despite the fact he had done so, after he read them, he actually said that I swerved out side of the lane. it was just nonsense that he made up on the spot, because the magistrate asked him how I was guilty of the charge. When the Magistrate asked me for my side, I picked my own copy of his notes out of my folder, and basically pointed out that the officer was telling 2 different stories. The magistrate said I was not responsible, then I left the court, went outside, and laughed my ass off.

A few days later, I had a formal complaint memo typed out, detailing significant proof of how the officer feloniously lied under oath, and I sent it to the chief. A couple days later I got a call from a detective who seemed very concerned with the matter, and said they would be investigating it. I never heard back from them, and I suppose I don't care what they do. But It sure was funny.

If it hadn't been for that son of a *****, I would have been in Arizona already. But because he stopped me, I'm still here doing demolition. If nothing else, I settled the score pretty well.
Michigander is offline  
Old 03-29-08, 07:25 PM
  #39  
crtreedude 
Third World Layabout
 
crtreedude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 3,109

Bikes: Cannondale F900 and Tandem

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 341 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Back in the good ole USA I lived across the street from the police barracks - it was tucked out back. Well, we had a dog that was a red-tick coon dog. When she would put her nose down, she would wake up in the next country. Pretty dog and pretty good natured. One day, she was missing and I got a phone call from the police - she was over there.

When I arrived, they were feeding her dog biscuits and petting her - and then gave me a fine for 15 dollars. I paid it cheerfully (glad that she was okay) and then commented - you guys haven't done me any favors feeding her dog biscuits you know - will I get a quantity discount on tickets when she comes looking for a treat?

The appreciated the point and the joke.
crtreedude is offline  
Old 03-29-08, 07:45 PM
  #40  
EthanYQX
Why not?
 
EthanYQX's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 846

Bikes: Giant STP 2

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Not a cop, per se-a wildlife officer.

I'm out with a friend of mine on snowmobiles, we're traveling a bit fast. We pass a wildlife guy on the side of the trail, and he waves us over to stop. He really just wants to see whether we've been drinking, it's about ten o clock at night and freezing. He says "You guys better slow down, the next guy might not be so forgiving". There's about ten of these guys total, and none of them are real bright. I ask him "What would you have done if we didn't stop?" He gives me a weird look and says "Well, I would have chased you and made you stop." By this point I'm trying not to laugh. The 600cc sled I was on makes about 130hp and runs to 60mph faster than most racecars, and he's on this twenty-year-old 250cc thing that can't get out of its own way. I have to say something, so I try and sound respectful and say "You realize that there's no way you'd catch us, right?"

He just gives me a dirty look and walks away.

Last edited by EthanYQX; 03-29-08 at 07:52 PM.
EthanYQX is offline  
Old 03-29-08, 08:52 PM
  #41  
FlyingAnchor
Senior Member
 
FlyingAnchor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Humboldt County Ca
Posts: 301

Bikes: All Recumbent, Strada and TT Tour

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Some years back here in Humboldt County Ca. when the Earth Firsters were protesting the logging of redwood trees I was a weighmaster for PALCO. One evening the local sheriff dept was planning for the next days protest.

All the cops in the world were just inside the PALCO property fence, there must have been 25 cars at least. All the cops were in a giant huddle planning, drawing and playing with guns, as they so often do.

Anyway I was sitting in the weighmasters office a truck came through to get weighed and as he ran up on the scale all the cops took a look at the lighted scale numbers and the truck came in just under 80,000 lbs. They (the cops) get this idea in their head that if they jump on the truck they can make the truck read as overweight.

So here we are, a truck sitting on a scale with about 30-40 cops hanging off the truck and the truck now reading over-weight.

I was sitting in my scale office and laughing so hard seeing the cops "playing" that I called over the loud speaker for all the "overweight, donut eating oinkers" to get off the truck so someone with a real job could get some work done.

Well it didn't take long for them to get off the truck and some of them started coming my way and the young lady in training with me was scared to death, thought we were going to jail or something.

Well the cops never did anything about it and they were now officially done and started to leave the compound, but, the only way out was past me and MY electrically controlled bar. I had the cops lined up waiting for me to raise the bar and I kept smiling at them and everytime they got out of the car to come in and talk to me I would raise the bar and as they got back into the car I would lower it again. This went on for a couple of minutes and the girl with me was having a cow, horse, pig, owl all at the same time.

When I thought they had had enough, I finally raised the bar and let them out. I got waves and smiles as they went except for the local head sheriff. I got a call the next day from my bosses wanting to know what the story was.

I didn't serve 20 years in the Navy to be scared of people overstepping their authority. But I did have fun.

Steven

Last edited by FlyingAnchor; 03-29-08 at 09:08 PM.
FlyingAnchor is offline  
Old 03-30-08, 08:58 AM
  #42  
Hickeydog
Crushing souls
 
Hickeydog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sagamore Hills, Ohio.
Posts: 1,591

Bikes: Trek 1500

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by catatonic View Post
Oh my god....that's oscar-worthy right there.

I've never been able to pull stunts like that off....

Oh, antoher story...aka how Catatonic nearly got arrested in Indiana's "Operation pullover" for being a jacktard.

Operation pullover was a program where they randomly roadblocked areas and done license/registration checks, and sometimes vehicle searches....it was later found illegal and the program was halted.

"License and registration please"
--here you go officer
"whats in that cigar you are smoking?"
--tobacco sir
"mind if I check it?"
--uhh...what for, i just spent good money on this.
"just give it to me"
(he tears it apart to prove there's no weed...power-tripping a-hole...that was a $25 Cohiba...this means war)
"OK it's clean, so do you have anything else of note?"
--not really, and if by of note, you mean premium cocaine, well i don't have any of that either.
"OK get the hell out of the car....GET THE DOG!"
(about 2 hours later, and a really pissed off cop)
"I should have you arrested"
--for what?
"For lying to an officer"
--how so?
"you tricked us into searching your car"
--no, you alreaddy judged me based on my dress, choice of vehicle, and my age...I told you the truth, that I had no cocaine....yet you still searched me....I see no problem here.
"We'll see about that."
(starts looking for code violations on the car....car's immaculate, so no chance of that)
"Hmm, car's clean"
--Yeah. I gotta admit something though...I also do not posess LSD.
(another search later)
"Do you want obstruction of justice?"
--No thanks officer, it screws with my high spirits.
(a urine test later)
--officer, that was fun, can i have another
"Ok that does it..."
(a few minutes later)
"OK, we have to let you go.....since we don't have anything on you....please stop wasting our time from now on...we are trying to stop dangerous motorists"
--OK, but next time, can you guys please use a tactic that is not considered an unreasonable search? that's why i was being a prick...I find this entire thing to be a violation of my rights, and if I'm going to be violated, I might as well make sure both parties are equally annoyed. Take it easy officer, don't let the next smartaleck get to you as bad.

....I'm amazed I got off easily for that....found out since I kept saying that I did not have any, i just barely got out of any charges....If I said I had a drug, and did not have it, I could have been brought in.
Awsome. Completely awsome. Although I would question the spending of 25 bux on a cigar. But that's just me.

But even so, awsome story.
__________________
Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.
Hickeydog is offline  
Old 03-30-08, 10:20 AM
  #43  
Will G
Senior Member
 
Will G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Granbury, Texas
Posts: 710
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 51 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Dang, I've had a few encounters with law enforcement or had friends involved. Most of them fairly funny.

My latest... a couple years back I was on my way to Louisianna from Texas for my AF Reserve gig. There I am, pushing along at 90+ on Interstate 20 going eastbound. Somewhere around Longview, I crest a ridge and pick up a late visual on a trooper. I see the nose of the patrol car drop as he starts to decelerate so I figure I'm toast and just pull over and hit the hazards. He hasn't even crossed the median yet. Finally, he catches up and pulls in behind me, lights flashing.

He asks for license and registration, I hand them over. He looks at me and the uniform (flight suit) and asks "Where you goin' son?" I reply that I am headed over to Barksdale AFB to my AF Reserve unit. He then asks what I do. As I tell him about being an instructor pilot, I rip a velcroed A-10 patch off and hand it to him. He looks at it, takes it, says, "I was a tanker in the Army", I tell him I was also an armor ALO (Air Force guy that lives with the Army and controls airstrikes from the ground) and he walks back to his car. He returns with a warning and lets me go. I didn't ask for the patch back.

In a much earlier tour, after several hours of heavy drinking, we crashed the base theater for a Conan the Barbarian triple feature. The loud, drunken, obnoxious behavior did not go un-noticed by the manager who called the security police. House lights come on and we scatter like roaches. Standing on a toilet inside a stall was effective enough to keep me from being found but my cohorts were hauled to jail and our commander was called.

Now, the funny part was he had been drinking with us. The next day, he calls and asks why he has receipts in his pocket for bailing four people out of jail for being drunk and disorderly. He was so hammered he didn't remember DRIVING over there and getting them out of jail.
Will G is offline  
Old 03-30-08, 12:20 PM
  #44  
wfin2004
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Riverview, Florida
Posts: 1,137

Bikes: Trek 4900

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I was all of maybe 17 years old and a smart *****. I got caught speeding in Indian Rocks Beach where it goes from 4 lanes to two. A cop proceeded to write me up and since I was going X over the speed limit, (I forgot the actual speed) I would need to be in appearance in the City Court House. Me being the smart ***** I was, replied with, "So, where in Hell is the God damn Court House?" I actually thought his baton was going to be used to rearrange my face, but fortunately for my benefit it wasn't.

Last edited by wfin2004; 03-30-08 at 01:15 PM. Reason: edit
wfin2004 is offline  
Old 03-30-08, 12:22 PM
  #45  
wfin2004
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Riverview, Florida
Posts: 1,137

Bikes: Trek 4900

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
"God damn" isn't deleted with astericks and smart..a...s...s is? WTF?

Last edited by wfin2004; 03-30-08 at 12:22 PM. Reason: edit
wfin2004 is offline  
Old 03-31-08, 11:25 AM
  #46  
banerjek
Portland Fred
 
banerjek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 11,465

Bikes: Custom Winter, Challenge Seiran SL, Fuji Team Pro, Cattrike Road/Velokit, РOS hybrid

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 186 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts
My most humorous encounter wasn't even with US cops. While I was in the Soviet Union in 1991, it ceased to exist. On this particular trip, I needed a visa extension, but was told that I didn't need an exit visa anymore. Unfortunately, no one told border security that.

When I attempted to leave, I was stopped for lack of an exit visa. I explained what happened at the visa office, but no dice. Since the papers that allowed me to stay in the country had also expired, emigration had to detain me for attempting to leave without a visa or attempting to stay without permission. I soon found myself being questioned in a holding area.

Chances of making my plane were looking bleak, but it just so happens that I had a bottle of vodka in my coat pocket. I opened the bottle and started drinking. When the people who detained me asked me what the hell I thought I was doing, I explained that a friend had given me that bottle to be opened in case of emergency and that if this wasn't one, I wasn't sure what was.

The mood immediately lightened and they started laughing. I did have to pay a bribe to get released, but I got off much easier than I thought I would.
banerjek is offline  
Old 03-31-08, 01:40 PM
  #47  
cnickgo
Argyle Army Foot Soldier
 
cnickgo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Cary/Boone, NC
Posts: 180

Bikes: Fort Gestus, 79 Raleigh Super Grand Prix, 81 Raleigh Supercourse, Mosh Lux 2* Gold, IRO Rob Roy on order

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
A buddy's father is a retired officer. He bought himself a new truck when he retired. A couple months later, we were headed home from the movies and passed 3 city cops sitting illegally in an open lane.

As we drove by, my buddy's father yelled "Get out of the road *obscenity* pigs!" That cracks us up, and we continue on down the road. A minute later blue lights come flying up behind us. My buddy says "Dad I think they are pulling us over", but he just thought they were headed off somewhere else. Sure enough, they pull us over. The cops sit in their cars longer than normal, while we question why we have been pulled over (no speeding/breaking traffic laws).

Finally, three young cops walk up to the window completely humiliated. One mutters up an apology "Sorry Mr. *Doe*, we didn't realize it was you". The youngsters received a harsh lecture on taking up the lane illegally and giving chase for no proper reason. He threatened to call up the shift coordinator right there on the spot.

A year later the PD received a disturbance call for "gunshots" in our neighborhood. One of these young cops showed up to my buddies house (prepared this time) and stepped out to start a friendly conversation. When he found out we were shooting through a course set up in the fenced in backyard with paintball guns, he called in a break, took a couple turns and a glass of tea, and continued on with patrol.
cnickgo is offline  
Old 03-31-08, 02:15 PM
  #48  
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Posts: 2,680

Bikes: Not enough

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by catatonic View Post
"no, no, NO! I am not shooting you, even if her psycho of a brother is going to be pissed...just go deal with it.

So what exactly did the brother do eventually?
skinnyone is offline  
Old 03-31-08, 03:39 PM
  #49  
GypsyAngel
Circling
 
GypsyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Lancaster County, PA
Posts: 166

Bikes: 2005 Cannondale R700...... 1998 Raleigh M50

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I was 22 year old nurse taking care of a 30ish year old guy who had just had back surgery, a lumbar laminectomy. He couldn't urinate after surgery due to the anesthesia so eventually I had to put a catheter in him. Not real pleasant of course but takes care of the problem. Fast forward 6 months and it's midnight, I'm driving home after a 3-11 shift. I am speeding and pull over. Former patient walks up to my driver's side window and looks in the car...

Cop : "Ohhhh it's yoooou..."
Me : "Oh hi! How's the back?"
Cop : "Much better. But you need to slow down..."

I guess catheterizing a cop makes you memorable. We ended up as friends and still keep in touch. It took him a while to stop cringing each time he saw me.

__________________
GypsyAngel is offline  
Old 10-18-08, 08:38 PM
  #50  
FoxieRoxieRider
Waiting to POP!
 
FoxieRoxieRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 10

Bikes: Roxie Schwin

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by jyossarian View Post
Later when the cops were arresting the thief, one of the cops ask my buddy what the 2x4 was for. My friend said, "I was beatin' him widdit!" The cop stared at him for a second, then said, "Would you like to rephrase that?". Without skipping a beat, my friend says, "We wrestled it from him when he attacked us officer."
oh that is PRICELESS!
FoxieRoxieRider is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.