Go Back  Bike Forums > The Lounge > Foo
Reload this Page >

Things that Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

Things that Hallmark Cards Don't Say

Old 02-28-07, 10:44 AM
  #1  
Ritehsedad
Tail End Charlie
Thread Starter
 
Ritehsedad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maine, The Way Life Should Be
Posts: 545

Bikes: Fuji Nevada MTB, Giant OCR1

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Things that Hallmark Cards Don't Say

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
----------------------
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.
---------------------
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"
---------------------
Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.
---------------------
How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?
---------------------
I've ! always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.
---------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.
---------------------
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.
---------------------
Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.
---------------------
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
---------------------
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!
---------------------
When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.
---------------------
We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?
---------------------
I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.
---------------------
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
---------------------
Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.
---------------------
So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

__________________
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
Ritehsedad is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 11:20 AM
  #2  
chipcom 
Infamous Member
 
chipcom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 24,365

Bikes: Surly Big Dummy, Fuji World, 80ish Bianchi

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
chipcom is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 06:23 PM
  #3  
bikingshearer 
Crawlin' up, flyin' down
 
bikingshearer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Democratic Peoples' Republic of Berkeley
Posts: 3,775

Bikes: 1967 Paramount, 1982-ish Ron Cooper,1978 Eisentraut "A," mid-1960s Cinelli Speciale Corsa, 1961 Bianchi Competizione (an Eroica bike), 1994 Trek 520, 199? Burley Bossa Nova, early-1970s Cinelli Speciale Corsa (also an Eroica bike)

Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 170 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts
I can think of people to whom I could send most of these.
__________________
"I'm in shape -- round is a shape." Andy Rooney
bikingshearer is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 08:41 PM
  #4  
FlyingAnchor
Senior Member
 
FlyingAnchor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Humboldt County Ca
Posts: 301

Bikes: All Recumbent, Strada and TT Tour

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
What do you do when one of them is true?
Steven
FlyingAnchor is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 09:58 PM
  #5  
BroMax
The Other White Meat
 
BroMax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Reno
Posts: 605

Bikes: Raleigh Sports 3 speed, Torker T-530

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm glad your parole
Has finally come through
BroMax is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 10:04 PM
  #6  
Siu Blue Wind
BACK2ME
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12,817
Mentioned: 38 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1555 Post(s)
Liked 44 Times in 32 Posts
Missing you
so far away
saw your body
float by today
__________________
"Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both to you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace. " ~ Dalai Lama

Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 10:47 PM
  #7  
RedHairedScot
So say we all.
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 728

Bikes: Gary Fischer Wahoo, upgraded Specialized Allez

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
Missing you
so far away
saw your body
float by today
Ooooh....very nice.
*beat poet snaps*
RedHairedScot is offline  
Old 02-28-07, 11:11 PM
  #8  
Dannihilator
Still kicking.
 
Dannihilator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Annandale, New Jersey
Posts: 19,605

Bikes: 2008 Trek Portland, 1989 Nishiki Altron

Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 121 Post(s)
Liked 10 Times in 10 Posts
This is my Rifle, This is my Gun. This is for Fighting, This is for fun.

Thought it was suitable for this thread as well.
__________________
Appreciate the old bikes more than the new.
Dannihilator is offline  
Old 03-01-07, 07:45 PM
  #9  
Mr. Gear Jammer
Senior Member
 
Mr. Gear Jammer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 250
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Ritehsedad
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
----------------------
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.
---------------------
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"
---------------------
Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.
---------------------
How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?
---------------------
I've ! always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.
---------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.
---------------------
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.
---------------------
Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.
---------------------
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
---------------------
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!
---------------------
When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.
---------------------
We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?
---------------------
I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.
---------------------
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
---------------------
Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.
---------------------
So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

Good stuff, +1 on that.
Mr. Gear Jammer is offline  
Old 03-02-07, 08:00 AM
  #10  
wabbit
Sprockette
 
wabbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 5,503
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
congratulations! For not marrying that jerk!
__________________
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.
wabbit is offline  
Old 03-02-07, 11:07 AM
  #11  
scottogo
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,398

Bikes: Electra Townie 7D

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thinking of you...







Wish you would change.
scottogo is offline  
Old 03-02-07, 11:44 AM
  #12  
SoonerBent
<><
 
SoonerBent's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 768

Bikes: RANS Tailwind

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Since you left I miss you all the time.
I guess I need to have my sights aligned.
SoonerBent is offline  
Old 03-02-07, 11:57 AM
  #13  
junkyard
Fourth Degree Legend
 
junkyard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: American Gardens Building
Posts: 3,826

Bikes: 2005 Kona Cinder Cone & 2010 Cannondale SuperSix

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
When you got in that fight,
what could I do?
I reached in my wallet,
and put my money on you.

You beat that chick good,
you put her in line.
You're the girl for me,
please be my Valentine
junkyard is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.