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Role Reversal

Old 08-01-07, 07:19 AM
  #1  
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Role Reversal

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed
home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely
stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to
school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners
and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove
home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1PM,
and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep
and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do
their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did
the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded
the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he
went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get
through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord,
I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being
able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned
your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-01-07, 07:33 AM
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good stuff.
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Old 08-01-07, 08:25 AM
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Women complain; men give solutions!

As a guy, most of the items in the list wouldn't need to be done every day. Some each member of the family should do themselves. I will itemize like a good guy.
Assuming the kids are going to school, each member can make their own breakfast. Kids can get on bus by themselves or ride a bicycle to school(this is a bike forum isn't it????)

Dry cleaning is a waste of money and bad for the environment. Don't buy clothes that need dry cleaned.

Online bank = No driving for deposits. I can now just fax it to them. Balancing the checkbook and paying all bill is 15 minutes max for the entire month with online bill pay.

The following are once a week items: washing clothes, cleaning floors, washing dogs. Children don't need a bath every day either, and if they are going to school they should be able to do it them self as well.

No milk and cookies. Let them get their own apple. It is better for them anyway.

This leaves cooking dinner as the only everyday task. Usually it only has a 30 minute prep time and the oven does the rest.

Now if women want to mow the lawn in the heat, fix roof tiles, cut tree limbs, change the oil, ........

dipy911
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Old 08-01-07, 08:31 AM
  #4  
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Originally Posted by dipy911 View Post
Women complain; men give solutions!

As a guy, most of the items in the list wouldn't need to be done every day. Some each member of the family should do themselves. I will itemize like a good guy.
Assuming the kids are going to school, each member can make their own breakfast. Kids can get on bus by themselves or ride a bicycle to school(this is a bike forum isn't it????)

Dry cleaning is a waste of money and bad for the environment. Don't buy clothes that need dry cleaned.

Online bank = No driving for deposits. I can now just fax it to them. Balancing the checkbook and paying all bill is 15 minutes max for the entire month with online bill pay.

The following are once a week items: washing clothes, cleaning floors, washing dogs. Children don't need a bath every day either, and if they are going to school they should be able to do it them self as well.

No milk and cookies. Let them get their own apple. It is better for them anyway.

This leaves cooking dinner as the only everyday task. Usually it only has a 30 minute prep time and the oven does the rest.

Now if women want to mow the lawn in the heat, fix roof tiles, cut tree limbs, change the oil, ........

dipy911
Yup, do that too. Also shovel snow, tend the garden and flower beds, fix the fence, paint the house, replace the clutch in the car. and whack the neighbor kid on the ass should the need arise. Wanna come play?
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Old 08-01-07, 08:39 AM
  #5  
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Originally Posted by dipy911 View Post
Women complain; men give solutions!

As a guy, most of the items in the list wouldn't need to be done every day. Some each member of the family should do themselves. I will itemize like a good guy.
Assuming the kids are going to school, each member can make their own breakfast. Kids can get on bus by themselves or ride a bicycle to school(this is a bike forum isn't it????)

Dry cleaning is a waste of money and bad for the environment. Don't buy clothes that need dry cleaned.

Online bank = No driving for deposits. I can now just fax it to them. Balancing the checkbook and paying all bill is 15 minutes max for the entire month with online bill pay.

The following are once a week items: washing clothes, cleaning floors, washing dogs. Children don't need a bath every day either, and if they are going to school they should be able to do it them self as well.

No milk and cookies. Let them get their own apple. It is better for them anyway.

This leaves cooking dinner as the only everyday task. Usually it only has a 30 minute prep time and the oven does the rest.

Now if women want to mow the lawn in the heat, fix roof tiles, cut tree limbs, change the oil, ........

dipy911
Wow...you spent all that time just to counter items in a JOKE? You really need some of these chores, I think because you have WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-01-07, 08:48 AM
  #6  
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+eleventy billien!
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Old 08-01-07, 09:13 AM
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Thing is, with most jokes, they still convey an opinion, albeit in a relatively humorous way. Most people who tell blonde jokes, or ***** jokes, or jew jokes, or gay jokes, or any other type of joke that singles out a group of people are, in essence, expressing an opinion. Maybe this was your intent, maybe not. I don't know. But I think your response to the contrary opinion expressed by dipy911 was unnecessary. This is a discussion board, afterall.
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Old 08-01-07, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by veganaise View Post
Thing is, with most jokes, they still convey an opinion, albeit in a relatively humorous way. Most people who tell blonde jokes, or ***** jokes, or jew jokes, or gay jokes, or any other type of joke that singles out a group of people are, in essence, expressing an opinion. Maybe this was your intent, maybe not. I don't know. But I think your response to the contrary opinion expressed by dipy911 was unnecessary.
I think dipy911's response was unnecessary. It was a JOKE. He was trying to take it seriously and break it down as if it were a true statement I made about my life or something.


Originally Posted by veganaise View Post
This is a discussion board, afterall.
Which is why you are entitled to your opinion too.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-01-07, 09:20 AM
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You mean you have a life KT? How did you manage that?!
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Old 08-01-07, 09:26 AM
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This was a joke? Oh...I thought it was KT's autobiography.
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Old 08-01-07, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by crtreedude View Post
You mean you have a life KT? How did you manage that?!
Shhhh....not so loud. I don't want it to get out.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-01-07, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by veganaise View Post
Thing is, with most jokes, they still convey an opinion, albeit in a relatively humorous way. Most people who tell blonde jokes, or ***** jokes, or jew jokes, or gay jokes, or any other type of joke that singles out a group of people are, in essence, expressing an opinion. Maybe this was your intent, maybe not. I don't know. But I think your response to the contrary opinion expressed by dipy911 was unnecessary. This is a discussion board, afterall.
Dood, quit over analyzing things. People tell jukes because they're funny. Is my Jewish boss an anti-semite because he tells me a jew joke? Do I have a secret agenda against gay people because I tell queer, lesbo or trannie jokes?

I don't think so. In the words of a very wise person....




















LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS!!!
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Old 08-01-07, 10:00 AM
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WTF? This is Foo...its supposed to be a place for lighthearted banter, not in depth analysis of a joke and its social consequences on western civilization as expressed through a feminist point of view!


As stacey so elequently stated.....Lighten up Francise
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Old 08-01-07, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS!!!
Can't. My levity fuse blew a long time ago.
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Old 08-01-07, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by veganaise View Post
Can't. My levity fuse blew a long time ago.
So sorry. You really should look into getting that replaced. It's difficult to operate normally without one.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-01-07, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
So sorry. You really should look into getting that replaced. It's difficult to operate normally without one.
But it's fun being the wet blanket.
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Old 08-01-07, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by veganaise View Post
But it's fun being the wet blanket.
Not for those of us you are trying to cover.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-01-07, 10:50 AM
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Ew! Cold wet blankets. Yicks!
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"Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both to you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace. " ~ Dalai Lama

Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 08-01-07, 10:56 AM
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ah yes, this thread reminds me of what they say is one of the best jokes of all times (you be the judge)

It seems Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping. About midnight, Sherlock wakes up Watson and says, Watson, what do you see? Watson looks up and sees the star filled night and says, "I see the wonder of the universe displayed in all its majesty, with more stars than a man can count." Sherlock replies, "Watson you fool, someone has stolen our tent!"
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Old 08-01-07, 11:08 AM
  #20  
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Originally Posted by crtreedude View Post
ah yes, this thread reminds me of what they say is one of the best jokes of all times (you be the judge)

It seems Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping. About midnight, Sherlock wakes up Watson and says, Watson, what do you see? Watson looks up and sees the star filled night and says, "I see the wonder of the universe displayed in all its majesty, with more stars than a man can count." Sherlock replies, "Watson you fool, someone has stolen our tent!"
Yeah, there was some sort of "Society of Really Bright People" in the UK that decided that was the funniest joke in the history of the world. Good joke, but it's tough to live up to the billing.

This, on the other hand:

Two peanuts were walking down the street. And one was assaulted. Peanut.
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Old 08-01-07, 11:26 AM
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A baby seal walks in to a club.
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Old 08-01-07, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by veganaise View Post
Can't. My levity fuse blew a long time ago.
Here's a replacement.

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