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Old 09-15-07, 08:47 AM   #1
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Sturgis of the South

We've all heard of Sturgis right? Well it is up in the Dakota's and I am down here in Kansas but yesterday I saw something of our own little Sturgis at the Kansas State Fair. I'll have to admit that I haven't been to the state fair in probably 15 years but I was shocked. When did everyone quit walking and start riding those damned Little Scooters?

Holy Crap! It was amazing. It was almost like being on another planet as the little scooters struggled around the fair grounds hauling there human drones with fat dripping from every part and threatening to fall under the tires.
Some people were so fat that even though you couldn't see a scooter underneath them, you had to assume one was under there because based on their condition, it seems unlikely they could hover over the earth for that long.

If people think there isn't an obesity crisis in this country they need only visit the Kansas State Fair. Everyone was on a scooter, young and old, and yes...mostly fat. To capitalize on this fact it seems that there are a lot of scooter vendors at the fair. Whoda' thunk it? Maybe the ultimate goal is for everyone to end up on a Little Rascal so we can play bumper cars as we dart from stand to stand eating coney dogs, nachos and every other damned thing we can cram in our mouth.

Maybe they can redesign the scooters and the bathrooms. Make the scooters with a seat that will have a groove like a Terry Fly saddle and they can put ramps entering the bathrooms and troughs down the center of the room. THen you can just zoom in and empty your bladder as you straddle the trough with your Model 1800 Little Fat Ass. YOu wouldn't even have to put down your turkey leg, you could just keep one hand on the throttle, and whiz right on through the restroom, so to speak.

Anyway, in conclusion I have to admit that I don't attend large gatherings on a regular basis. So maybe I am a bit naive. But I never had any idea that things were this bad. I have always told myself that we are making progress on this obesity, but I now believe the opposite to be true. Holy christ, we've eaten ourselves into immobility. I hope we don't have a draft and have to figure out how to get these Little Rascals to work on water. I think the outcome at Normandy would have been a lot different, if they were all riding Hoverrounds.

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Old 09-15-07, 10:39 AM   #2
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