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Chuck Norris vs Jack Bauer

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Chuck Norris vs Jack Bauer

Old 09-25-07, 07:53 AM
  #1  
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Chuck Norris vs Jack Bauer

Chuck does not drive drunk.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/0....ap/index.html

You could replace Chuck's blood with rubbing alcohol and he could still make the breatholyzer read 0.0 just by rubbing it with his beard.
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-25-07, 07:58 AM
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Old 09-25-07, 07:58 AM
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Seriously, my political and religious views are nothing like Chuck's, but he's an amazing guy who I've been told is really down-to-earth, and he's always done a great job of respectfully publicizing the martial arts to the general public. He's a guy I have a great deal of admiration for, and the guy really does know a lot of different forms of martial arts, from Tae Kwon Do to Brazillian Jiu Jitsu-He would whip your ass with his mullet tied behind his back.

Kiefer-He's a good actor. Meh.
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Old 09-25-07, 08:02 AM
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I have a friend who worked as a personal assistant to Chuck Norris and the Norris family. Helped scout sites, ran errands, worked with Chucks son on his race car team. She said the whole family was awesome.
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-25-07, 08:13 AM
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Who would win between Chuck Norris and God?

Trick question, Chuck Norris IS God!
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Old 09-25-07, 08:19 AM
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Jack had to drive drunk because he needed to get The Terrorists liquored up so they'd tell him who had the nuclear suitcase bomb's detonator. Why do you people hate freedom?

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Old 09-25-07, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by vtjim View Post
Jack had to drive drunk because he needed to get The Terrorists liquored up so they'd tell him who had the nuclear suitcase bomb's detonator. Why do you people hate freedom?


If freedom = bad jokes then yes, hate.
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Old 09-25-07, 07:24 PM
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if chuck norris = god, then what does bruce lee = ?

bruce pwned chuckiepoo!
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Old 09-26-07, 09:32 AM
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Bruce Lee has been taking a dirt nap for the last 34 years, no doubt as a result of Chuck Norris trauma.
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Old 09-26-07, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
Chuck does not drive drunk.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/0....ap/index.html

You could replace Chuck's blood with rubbing alcohol and he could still make the breatholyzer read 0.0 just by rubbing it with his beard.
I find even a remote comparison of Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer......disturbing.
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Old 09-26-07, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by On Rails View Post
Bruce Lee has been taking a dirt nap for the last 34 years, no doubt as a result of Chuck Norris trauma.
Realistically it will never be known why he died, but Bruce Lee will remain THE man for a long time to come. His talent was and in a way still is untouchable. He was like the Lance Armstrong of martial arts. A genetic anomaly almost purpose built for fighting. Chuck Norris is a muscular guy with some skill. Kiefer Sutherland is a moron.
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Old 09-26-07, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Michigander View Post
Realistically it will never be known why he died, but Bruce Lee will remain THE man for a long time to come. His talent was and in a way still is untouchable. He was like the Lance Armstrong of martial arts. A genetic anomaly almost purpose built for fighting. Chuck Norris is a muscular guy with some skill. Kiefer Sutherland is a moron.
I agree with this assessment 100%. Never thought I'd be agreeing with Mich on anything. It's about time he said something that was correct.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 09-26-07, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
I agree with this assessment 100%. Never thought I'd be agreeing with Mich on anything. It's about time he said something that was correct.
Well, see, Bruce Lee is soooo far off the chart that it's a given that he's the man. No need to even bother with comparisons or mentioning since it's already known he's at the top.
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Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.
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Old 09-26-07, 11:18 AM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
I agree with this assessment 100%. Never thought I'd be agreeing with Mich on anything. It's about time he said something that was correct.
It's not that I'm ever incorrect, it's just that you never understand.
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Old 09-26-07, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Michigander View Post
It's not that I'm ever incorrect, it's just that you never understand.
Ha! That's a good one, kiddo.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 09-26-07, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by On Rails View Post
Bruce Lee has been taking a dirt nap for the last 34 years, no doubt as a result of Chuck Norris trauma.
LOL
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Old 09-26-07, 11:58 AM
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Chuck Norris is a wuss.

I saw Clay Aiken beat him up.

It's true.
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Old 09-26-07, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by CyLowe97 View Post
Chuck Norris is a wuss.

I saw Clay Aiken beat him up.

It's true.
That was actually a Clay Aiken dream sequence...and it wasn't the "fighting" kind of beat up.
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 09-26-07, 01:25 PM
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I enjoy watching 24, so I think Jack Bauer rocks!
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Old 09-26-07, 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Jamie View Post
I enjoy watching 24, so I think Jack Bauer drinks scotch on the rocks!
fixed
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-26-07, 02:18 PM
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I thought this had already been discussed before.

We all know that CN of JB only exist because Stewie lets them. One of these days he's gonna get tired of them, and well...it wont be pretty for either Chuckie boy or Jack "Daniels" Bauer.
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Old 09-26-07, 04:00 PM
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This should be Cordell "Texas Ranger" Walker vs. Jack Bauer.

In that case, I'd go with Jack Bauer. But if this Chuck Norris vs. Kiefer Sutherland, then by all means, Chuck wins, no question.
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