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The incongruent thread

Old 10-11-17, 02:24 PM
  #2201  
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You cant just RTFM with coffee. It's like sex; you need experience, or instructional vids, or something.
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Old 10-15-17, 07:25 PM
  #2202  
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What I don't know I'll never realize hurt me.
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Old 10-16-17, 12:26 PM
  #2203  
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There goes half of my temporary crown. I hope I don't swallow the other half in my sleep.
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Old 10-16-17, 12:36 PM
  #2204  
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I do OK working with PVC, but when it comes to dealing with copper lines, I am definitely not a plumber.
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Old 10-16-17, 04:21 PM
  #2205  
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Took a first cut at my income taxes for 2017 - looks like I'll be getting a $50 refund from Feds. Probably have to increase my with-holding for next year. State refund is usually a lot bigger.
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Old 10-22-17, 06:59 PM
  #2206  
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What DID you step in?
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Old 10-23-17, 10:01 PM
  #2207  
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Dammit, I read the frickin' manual!
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Old 10-29-17, 09:32 PM
  #2208  
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Don't worry, the GPS says you're still far from the...oops.
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Old 10-30-17, 10:02 PM
  #2209  
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I want a popsicle.
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Old 10-30-17, 10:23 PM
  #2210  
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The definition of irony: Sugar-Free Sugar Cookies. . . .
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Old 10-30-17, 10:35 PM
  #2211  
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I just put the lotion in the bucket. Non-ironically. The bucket was just handy.
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Old 11-03-17, 09:55 AM
  #2212  
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Someone come down to Bullhead and solder up my Ibanez correctly. There's a contest on YouTube and I just don't feel like soldering. . .
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Old 11-03-17, 10:05 AM
  #2213  
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whatever happened to ...
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Old 11-05-17, 07:37 PM
  #2214  
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This is my invisible tattoo.
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Old 11-10-17, 03:58 PM
  #2215  
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KANSAS CITY, MO.
A police interrogation of a Kansas City man charged with drug and gun offenses ended prematurely when an investigator was driven from the room by the suspect's excessive flatulence.

A detective reported that when asked for his address, 24-year-old Sean Sykes Jr. "leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering."

The Kansas City Star reports that Sykes "continued to be flatulent" and the detective was forced to quickly end the interview.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Old 11-12-17, 09:08 PM
  #2216  
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Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!
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Old 11-16-17, 06:16 PM
  #2217  
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Someone teach me how to drive an automatic again. . . .
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Old 11-17-17, 10:23 PM
  #2218  
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Darn it, I forgot what I was looking for.
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Old 11-18-17, 01:42 AM
  #2219  
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It's not that I quit, I just haven't begun to begin.
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Old 01-09-18, 12:27 PM
  #2220  
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My belt got smaller.
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Old 01-10-18, 05:20 AM
  #2221  
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Coffee is ready.
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Good Night Chesty, Wherever You Are
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Old 01-10-18, 09:23 AM
  #2222  
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My shoelaces are too long.
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Old 01-10-18, 09:31 AM
  #2223  
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Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was pulled under by a strong currant!

Talk about incongruity-resolution.
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Old 01-10-18, 11:27 AM
  #2224  
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I cried because my shoelaces were too long, until I met a man who had no feet.
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Old 01-10-18, 10:51 PM
  #2225  
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Why am I always thinking about food?
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