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Finally feeling good about life. (long, positive)

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Finally feeling good about life. (long, positive)

Old 07-28-08, 09:21 PM
  #1  
Corcis
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Finally feeling good about life. (long, positive)

I don't know when it finally happened, but something finally clicked. It happened in the past few months. Some confluence of events, circumstances, desires and value-changes brought happiness to me. Perhaps a more healthy balance of living for now and living for the future; maybe the realization that a relationship needed scaled back to a workable level; partially the bikes and the riding; definitely beer. Throughout the last few months, I've felt genuine happiness. Prior to then/now, it was fleeting. Beer was delicious, scenery beautiful, but nothing was lasting. Quite probably just typical teen angst that carried on a little longer than it should have.

Now, though, it all keeps up with me. A balance of happiness keeps me from falling near depression. Maybe it's new friends and acquaintances. My new friends are warm and smiling people, both beautiful women whose absence in my life right now is sad. They will be back in late September, though, to which I shall drink. When I started work again (temporary summer job), I noticed a woman whose smile light my days brilliantly. I have yet to say more than a few stunned words to her - I'm always too busy feeling great when she's around. My two best friends, both in closer contact than ever, keep me up and pay attention to me when I need it but won't say it.

I might have even figured out what I'm going to do with my life. I've been in college for three years and change (took minimum classes for a year), but now I feel like I might have the perfect major lined up. Through three, four, five ideas of what to major in, I haven't felt at home in any of them. Should this pan out like I think it will - I have none of the hesitations I had with other majors - I'm going to burn through coursework and hopefully be out in less than two more years.

My passion for being on a bike, any bike, has skyrocketed. I ride twice a day, ten miles to and from work. Sometimes my Instigator+Xtracycle, sometimes my road bike. Either way, I feel better, more energetic and more ready to go in the mornings. I'm doing cyclocross racing this fall in a local series. I rode one race last fall (on a rigid mtb, platform pedals), DNF'ed at 3.5 laps of 5 laps, and thought my face might freeze into a grin permanently. My car might get sold to pay both a new cyclocross bike and a new road bike. It has sat unused for the better part of a year now.

Incredibly, I have shed ten pounds since the start of summer. If I keep up the current rate, I'll be at ~195 for school, ~185 if I cut all the crap out. I have to keep the riding up - who cares about being lighter if I'm not feeling more capable. I'm really happy about being lighter, but I'm excited about pushing the middle ring on hills that would have required the granny gears last year. The big ring is useful now, too. I can carry a passenger on the Xtracycle while pushing the middle ring on all the hills I would bother going up with a passenger.

So...long, probably boring, but the short and sweet is that I'm finally happy. I can smile without forcing it. I can feel good without disregarding my worries. I can feel stress without feeling impending doom. I can face life and stand up to the forces that would've knocked me straight down before. And I can do it all knowing there're amazing people around, great bikes yet to be ridden and delicious beers to be drank at the end of the day.
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Old 07-28-08, 09:25 PM
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mkoj
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healthy body, healthy mind. riding was a great thing for me to pick up, got into it in my depressed parts of life and i started eating vegetarian not too long ago and i feel great. great to hear someone else on this planet wakes up smiling.
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Old 07-28-08, 09:25 PM
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Nicely done.

I suggest a five-year plan. Always.
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Old 07-28-08, 10:04 PM
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Corcis
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Originally Posted by mkoj View Post
healthy body, healthy mind. riding was a great thing for me to pick up, got into it in my depressed parts of life and i started eating vegetarian not too long ago and i feel great. great to hear someone else on this planet wakes up smiling.
I can't bring myself to go vegetarian, but my compliments to you for having done it. Waking up happy is amazing. I don't drag myself out of bed. I enjoy the warmth, the feel of the comforter, til I decide the cold and wind are more suiting and the ride to work commences.

Originally Posted by StupidlyBrave View Post
Nicely done.

I suggest a five-year plan. Always.
Smile enough to make up for the past five years.
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Old 07-28-08, 10:08 PM
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I am happy for you. Life is too fun to go through it sad or bitter. Congrats.
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Old 07-28-08, 10:17 PM
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maybe you should quit drinking.
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Old 07-28-08, 10:52 PM
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Don't worry, the feeling will shortly pass.
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Old 07-29-08, 01:19 AM
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Originally Posted by sirpoopalot View Post
maybe you should quit drinking.
Maybe you should drink more.
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