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Old 08-05-08, 01:09 PM   #1
Tom Stormcrowe
Out fishing with Annie on his lap, a cigar in one hand and a ginger ale in the other, watching the sunset.
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Placebo Antivirus

Yes, new from DOXdesk, PlaceboAV is just as effective as leading anti-virus software—that is, completely ineffective—whilst having no negative impact on system performance, and never bugging you with extraneous errors.
Get the full performance out of your computer, in total peace of mind because there's a little icon in your system tray so you must be safe. And if you're worried that your protection isn't up to date, open the program window, and simply click the Update button for all the latest definitions!

(NB. Since there are no definitions, the Update function does not actually bother to contact the definitions server, and just pretends to load updates. This is more efficient on network bandwidth. And also there is no definitions server.)
An unbelievable feature-set packed into just 56KB of executable*! Lordy, it's a miracle! And it's free!
And! As Well! Purchase PlaceboAV Plus Pro now! It's got all the great features of PlaceboAV Free edition, plus you can pay $30 a year for it! Awesome!
DOXdesk is not responsible for any viruses you get whilst using PlaceboAV under the impression it is actually doing something. Well, we probably are responsible, but we're not going to do anything about it and you'll not get a penny out of us. Go away now.
Great gag, huh? I stripped the links because I don't know about their security.

Here's the link to the original page. I assume no responsibility if you do click any of the links there, though.
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

Last edited by Tom Stormcrowe; 08-05-08 at 01:14 PM.
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Old 08-05-08, 01:11 PM   #2
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Old 08-05-08, 01:17 PM   #3
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I actually have installed a similar thing onto AIX and Solaris machines, where contracts stated that antivirus software had to be installed on everything... so I installed a major brand of antivirus, and just had it fire off a cronjob every so often to scan the filesystems for the usual snipe hunt.

Software like that would be perfect for high end UNIX systems, where there is no need for AV software, other than just to tick off a checkbox saying that the machines have antivirus junk installed on them.
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Old 08-05-08, 01:38 PM   #4
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reminds me of how I had to fix a computer because their internet didn't work, turns out that...
trend micro internet security expired
trojan was detected on system
trend micro IS couldn't clean up the trojan with expired definitions
trend micro IS locked internet down because it detected a trojan

So I ended up running spybot S&D which cleaned the system up, after which I uninstalled expired AV and installed free AVG. It works fine now, but I think AVs with 1yr expirations are no good since basic users never renew them.

That article is so true though, it's all about not going to sites like those and not opening emails with attachments unless you are expecting one from the sender.
Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
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Old 08-05-08, 11:04 PM   #5
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I spit on the silly AV. Any file and download that I don't trust, I upload to Yahoo mail as an attachment and they'll scan it for me.
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