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Jokes, practical (wind ups, piss takes, etc.)

Old 01-25-09, 07:41 AM
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Jokes, practical (wind ups, piss takes, etc.)

Describe, in detail, any that were inflicted by either you, friends or colleagues on someone else. For example, go and find me, glass hammers, sparks for the grinder, left handed spanners, spare bubble for the level, etc.

Here's one I found earlier:

https://www.cyclechat.co.uk/forums/sh...3&postcount=15

Originally Posted by Maggot
However, on the flip side...........we had a new recruit sent to us when we were based in Osnabruck, he was about 25, and had worked in factories for a number of years so was quite switched on to these scams. One day we were doing some maintainence on the FH 70s, and the Gun Troop Sgt Major told him to and get a glass hammer for the gun sight. He obviously knew of these tricks and sort of stared at the Sgt Major in a 'I'm not f'ing stupid' kind of way. With one last throw of the dice the order was re-given, along with the words 'don't come back till you've got one!'

So off he went, and he did come back with a glass hammer, just over three weeks later He had taken himself home for a week, picked up a hammer made of glass in a shop somewhere, went skiing for a couple of weeks, then brazenly re-appeared with the hammer made of glass which he presented to our Sgt Major in a nice box Nobody gave him any silly orders after that, he was on guard duty quite regularly though
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Old 01-25-09, 02:04 PM
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There are plenty of these in the carpentry trade.

Go get me a:

Board stretcher...the yellow-handled one.
A skyhook.
A box of toenails.

Sadly in retail there is very little of that educational monkey business. I have to be PC with graded-on-a-curve everyone-gets-a-medal co-workers that might get upset by the mental challenge.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
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Old 01-25-09, 02:08 PM
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I do not like jokes. Humor is overrated.
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-25-09, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
I do not like jokes. Humor is overrated.
You've come to the right place.
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Old 01-25-09, 02:35 PM
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Back about 10 years ago when the Internet was still young and burgeoning, I played a senseless practical joke on a friend of mine. To this day I regret doing it cause he's a really nice guy, but the idea was so damn funny at the time and he was just the first person that came to mine to try it on.

Anyway, it went like this -- I created a fake classified ad online, "Baby Monkey needs Happy Home." I actually got the idea from a physical bulletin-board ad i had seen at the library in college a few years before that (which I figured was a joke). So, I described in detail how great this baby monkey was -- cute, completely house-trained (yeah, right), and simply needed a home because my landlord wouldn't take it. I posted my poor friend's e-mail and work phone...

By Monday morning he was inundated with voicemails and e-mails from people offering to pay him for the baby monkey. He had no clue...heheheh.

Again, though -- I feel terrible. Wish I had done it instead to one of the Aggies who used to put the Aggie fight song virus on my x486 work computer
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Old 01-25-09, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
I do not like jokes. Humor is overrated.
Originally Posted by x136 View Post
You've come to the right place.
Oi, curmudgeons. This is the "jokes, practical" thread and not the "Person, grumpy, old" thread.






....except I fit squarely in the latter category now
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Old 01-25-09, 03:21 PM
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That's funny.

That reminds me of the "Message for Diego" phone calls. That is, multiple "May I leave a message for Diego?" calls followed after hours/days/weeks by the final "Hi, this is Diego. Any messages for me?" call.
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Old 01-25-09, 03:37 PM
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Golden rivits, 1/2" plug shrinkers, buckets of steam and trips to the vacuum locker - all part of Navy snipe life.
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Old 01-25-09, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by redirekib View Post
Golden rivits, 1/2" plug shrinkers, buckets of steam and trips to the vacuum locker - all part of Navy snipe life.
Can you get me a gallon of prop wash?
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-25-09, 03:50 PM
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One night, on April first, we went to the city jail and called a friend to say that we had been arrested, get $100, come bail us out. After a bit the friend arrives and we let them in on the joke. Each person thought it was hilarious, and wanted to pull it on someone else. Pretty soon, about half a dozen of us were sitting in the jail parking lot. May be our best prank ever.
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Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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