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Backseat drivers

Old 06-21-09, 02:35 PM
  #1  
crackerjab
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Backseat drivers

So my mom and dad picked me up from the airport yesterday evening and we went out to eat. We had an hour drive after that to get home (it was the closest I could get to home and my company still pay for it). So we're driving along and I'm catching up with them when we get pulled over by a local cop for going 52 in q 35. The cop gives my dad a warning and we're off again. My mom, who was in the backseat, went on about how he shouldn't be driving so fast, etc... We're all shooting the breeze again when my dad takes a curve at what I considered to be a reasonable rate. My mom, however, did not. She informed my dad that him taking the curve fast scared and for him to slow down. His response was "Don't you tell me how to drive from the backseat woman!" I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at my dad. I kept my comments to myself but what I wanted to say was "You tell 'er Dad!" Man I hate backseat drivers. But I love my mom so I was torn.


Discuss.
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Old 06-21-09, 02:45 PM
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My daughter has her learner's permit now...and wants me to be her instructor specifically due to her Mom's tendency to flip out over anything and everything.

I'm not just talking about unwanted comments, I mean the woman would actually try to grab the steering wheel from the passenger seat. One late night we were coming back from a trip to the emergency room due to the kids getting into some vitamins and her freaking out. Long story short, the trip was worthless and costly and the kids were fine, but on the way home we encountered deer on the road. I took evasive action and probably would've missed it entirely...except that she emitted an extended soul-peircing shriek, tried to grab the wheel and in a split second I seriously considered knocking her unconscious to save all our lives. I tensed up, and due to the undeniable distraction wasn't able to maneuver properly and clipped the deer.
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Old 06-21-09, 02:54 PM
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My opinion?
If you speed in your own car, then you're stupid.
If you're speeding with your child and your wife in the car as well you're even more stupid.
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Old 06-22-09, 09:20 AM
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Sounds like your mom had a good reason to be a backseat driver that time...
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Old 06-22-09, 09:25 AM
  #5  
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Your dad really needs a two seat car.
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Old 06-22-09, 09:30 AM
  #6  
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Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
My daughter has her learner's permit now...and wants me to be her instructor specifically due to her Mom's tendency to flip out over anything and everything.

I'm not just talking about unwanted comments, I mean the woman would actually try to grab the steering wheel from the passenger seat. One late night we were coming back from a trip to the emergency room due to the kids getting into some vitamins and her freaking out. Long story short, the trip was worthless and costly and the kids were fine, but on the way home we encountered deer on the road. I took evasive action and probably would've missed it entirely...except that she emitted an extended soul-peircing shriek, tried to grab the wheel and in a split second I seriously considered knocking her unconscious to save all our lives. I tensed up, and due to the undeniable distraction wasn't able to maneuver properly and clipped the deer.
ooooh, haven't met someone who wanted to grab the steering wheel yet. but it's illegal to do that anyways.
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Old 06-22-09, 09:32 AM
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my driving is pretty good so I almost never get anyone who complains about my driving from any of the passengers.

on the other hand, I get pretty nervous when either of my parents are driving. how they haven't managed to end up in a crash is beyond me. pfft, asian drivers
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Old 06-22-09, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by crackerjab View Post
His response was "Don't you tell me how to drive from the backseat woman!"
Sorry, but that made me laugh.
How is your dad?
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Old 06-22-09, 10:38 AM
  #9  
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Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
My daughter has her learner's permit now...and wants me to be her instructor specifically due to her Mom's tendency to flip out over anything and everything.

I'm not just talking about unwanted comments, I mean the woman would actually try to grab the steering wheel from the passenger seat. One late night we were coming back from a trip to the emergency room due to the kids getting into some vitamins and her freaking out. Long story short, the trip was worthless and costly and the kids were fine, but on the way home we encountered deer on the road. I took evasive action and probably would've missed it entirely...except that she emitted an extended soul-peircing shriek, tried to grab the wheel and in a split second I seriously considered knocking her unconscious to save all our lives. I tensed up, and due to the undeniable distraction wasn't able to maneuver properly and clipped the deer.

Sorry to get so serious here, but you have to tell her that if she can't control herself in the passenger seat, then she needs to sit in back when you or anyone else is driving. The manner in which you diplomatically handle this is up to you, but what you're describing doesn't sound much different than being attacked by your passenger. She needs to hear and believe the message that she is eventually going to kill somebody if she can't control this.

I had to have "a talk" with my wife a few years ago. She doesn't try to grab the wheel, but what she does isn't very conducive to me driving safely. When we visit her folks two or three times a year (8 hour drive each way), and when she and the kids are all asleep while I'm driving the minivan, she'll wake up, look at the road ahead, think we're about to crash (for no good reason), and emit a loud, piercing, terrified gasping noise. This has happened while driving in bumper-to-bumper interstate construction zone traffic where everybody is following somewhat closely at 45 mph. It's also happened right out in the middle of open highway as I am overtaking and passing a vehicle in the traveling lane. In any case, that reaction in her causes me to freak out and slam on the brakes. There's just nothing I can do to not let it happen; it's just instinct for me. In that moment, I think we're about to crash (and that I just haven't managed to see it coming), and it's an automatic panic reflex.

The last time it happened, as soon as I regained control I screamed, "G*dd*mmit, you can't DO THAT!!!" before I even realized what was coming out of my mouth. Married men, you know how well this must have gone over. So after we'd both collected ourselves a bit, I told her, "When we're traveling, you may 1) drive, 2) sit in front and remain awake the entire time, or 3) get in back and fall asleep." It hurt (and yes, I was in the doghouse for a few hours), but the next time she fell asleep in the front passenger seat, I pulled over, woke her up, and asked her if she'd like to drive, stay awake, or get in back. She was awake and maintained a steely silence for the rest of the drive, but it hasn't been a problem since (3-4 years?). She will now actually ask me to pull over and let her get in back. She's not a cyclist, but I'm sure she has great stories about me that she could publish on some other forums.
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Old 06-22-09, 11:06 AM
  #10  
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That's funny! The other day I got my dad to refer to my mom's boobs as cans. Gotta love it.

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Old 06-22-09, 11:11 AM
  #11  
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My dad's complained about my "backseat driving" twice (I'm actually in the back seat):

1. A car going the other direction is waiting to turn left. My dad put on his left turn signal and stopped, and the other car began turning. My dad then drove straight, into the path of the car (which stopped and honked).

2. My dad put on his left turn signal and stopped (wadduknow?). Some cars behind him were passing in the parking lane, cutting in about 10 feet in front due to parked cars. My dad then drove straight (go figure), cutting off someone trying to pass.
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Old 06-22-09, 11:11 AM
  #12  
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Originally Posted by bikinggrrrl View Post
Sorry, but that made me laugh.
How is your dad?
The whole story is based around that comment and I still chuckle about it. My dad is pushing 70 and seeing an old man talk like that is hilarious. My dad is good btw. Thank you for asking. It was good to be able to get in for Father's Day.
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Old 06-22-09, 11:46 AM
  #13  
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If either my husband or I had been a bad driver, I don't think we would have gotten together...either of us can sleep while the other flogs it through twisty mountain roads.
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Old 06-22-09, 11:54 AM
  #14  
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Yeah, there's a difference between backseat drivers and your passenger's being uncomfortable by your driving. The fact that they are putting their lives into your hands should give you reason to take their concerns seriously.

I'm never afraid to say something. I hate how people take driving criticism like their mother's just been defiled. It's not a big deal, but realize that you can get seriously injured in a car.

I hate to say it, but sometimes it takes a scary as hell accident to make people realize what exactly driving is. It only took one logging truck in WV to do it to me.
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Old 06-22-09, 12:01 PM
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my passengers are usually trying to keep from slipping into unconsciousness as we careen around corners at usually double the speed limit, sideways, or both. they don't have time/ energy to grab the wheel, scream, or do anything stupid. i suggest you adopt this policy.
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Old 06-22-09, 02:00 PM
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Problem solved.
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Old 06-22-09, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by shelato12771 View Post
Sorry to get so serious here, but you have to tell her that if she can't control herself in the passenger seat, then she needs to sit in back when you or anyone else is driving.<snip>
Yeah, it's a real problem, and one that the kids are well aware of...as are my folks.

My folks and my ex wife were caravanning across the CA desert on a long, straight two-lane highway with intermittent passing areas, my kids and ex in one car, my folks in the other. My folks passed a slow-moving truck with no worries. In the rearview mirror they watched my ex try the same pass, panic over an oncoming car, and instead of braking and pulling back into the lane...she swings the car onto the oncoming shoulder, exactly where the car would've pulled over!

My folks were horrified and stopped up ahead. They confronted her and my ex claimed that she had no other choice. At that point they seriously considered having the kids ride with them instead.
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Old 06-22-09, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
Yeah, it's a real problem, and one that the kids are well aware of...as are my folks.

My folks and my ex wife were caravanning across the CA desert on a long, straight two-lane highway with intermittent passing areas, my kids and ex in one car, my folks in the other. My folks passed a slow-moving truck with no worries. In the rearview mirror they watched my ex try the same pass, panic over an oncoming car, and instead of braking and pulling back into the lane...she swings the car onto the oncoming shoulder, exactly where the car would've pulled over!

My folks were horrified and stopped up ahead. They confronted her and my ex claimed that she had no other choice. At that point they seriously considered having the kids ride with them instead.
send her @$$ to drivers education.
seriously.
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Old 06-22-09, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by hedaboy2008 View Post
My opinion?
The 25 mile per hour speed limit on the feeder road leading to our development is stupid and should really be 35...
Put things into a more sane perspective for you.
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Old 06-22-09, 08:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
Yeah, it's a real problem, and one that the kids are well aware of...as are my folks.

My folks and my ex wife were caravanning across the CA desert on a long, straight two-lane highway with intermittent passing areas, my kids and ex in one car, my folks in the other. My folks passed a slow-moving truck with no worries. In the rearview mirror they watched my ex try the same pass, panic over an oncoming car, and instead of braking and pulling back into the lane...she swings the car onto the oncoming shoulder, exactly where the car would've pulled over!

My folks were horrified and stopped up ahead. They confronted her and my ex claimed that she had no other choice. At that point they seriously considered having the kids ride with them instead.
Originally Posted by Darth_Firebolt View Post
send her @$$ to drivers education.
seriously.
naw, get her on America's worst driver
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Old 06-22-09, 08:27 PM
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I tell my mom to #$%#$% get off her cellphone when she's driving. I don't even know how to drive...hah!
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Old 06-22-09, 11:15 PM
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No back seat = no back seat drivers = success.

Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
My folks and my ex wife were caravanning across the CA desert on a long, straight two-lane highway with intermittent passing areas, my kids and ex in one car, my folks in the other. My folks passed a slow-moving truck with no worries. In the rearview mirror they watched my ex try the same pass, panic over an oncoming car, and instead of braking and pulling back into the lane...she swings the car onto the oncoming shoulder, exactly where the car would've pulled over!
Jesus ****.
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Old 06-22-09, 11:33 PM
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I've been in three, count them three car crashes while women were driving and they totaled the car. Twice with my wife and once with my mom. Twice I was sleeping and my wife lost control of the car and woke me up with a scream. What a wake up call.

Now, I DRIVE! If I get sleepy while on a trip we pull over and I take a nap, period, end of story. She never asks to drive if I am going with her and we have a lesson learned.

I still have a thing about women drivers but I try not to let it drive my life.

OH. A few years back this van was going on down the road doing fine when it suddenly turned sideways on the freeway and flipped over a few times. When the cops asked the driver what happened he said that he and his wife were having an argument and she got so mad she reached over and grabbed the wheel and gave it a yank, thereby almost killing both of them.

Crazy people out there.

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Old 06-23-09, 10:07 AM
  #24  
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prejudice, a while ago people considered women to be bad at electronics and stuff. Now they're way better at using cell phones than most men are.
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Old 06-23-09, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted by AEO View Post
prejudice, a while ago people considered women to be bad at electronics and stuff. Now they're way better at using cell phones than most men are.
Agreed.

I wasn't classifying all woman drivers along with my ex. Heck, I have no doubt that Siu is a much better driver than I am with her training and competition experience. My ex's tendency to panic and flip out was the real issue, and as you can tell from the stories...she was exceptionally good at it.

I told my kids, "Imagine you're in a restaurant with her and you suddenly start choking. She notices, flips out, and everyone in the restaurant goes to her aid since she's lost all control...meanwhile, you're still choking. Panicking never helps."

Even scarier: She's a nurse now.
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