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Wedding presents/how much to spend?

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View Poll Results: Wedding gifts/how much to spend?
30-49
3
18.75%
50-75
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50.00%
76-100
3
18.75%
101-150
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12.50%
Voters: 16. You may not vote on this poll

Wedding presents/how much to spend?

Old 07-19-09, 09:21 PM
  #1  
artifice
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Wedding presents/how much to spend?

It's that year: 4 of my friends are getting married from August thru October. Now, its not their fault they are all getting married at the same time, but in the interest of balancing my budget AND not being a cheapskate, what is an appropriate wedding gift amount (considering all are good friends)?

Should it also depend on whether or not I also attended the shower/bachelorette party and dropped dough on that?

The US National average (source - and likely "researched" by people in the wedding industry, $150, seriously?):
U.S. National Average

In the U.S., the national averages spent on wedding gifts fall into 3 categories. Each category is determined by the relationship of the guests to the bridal couple.

1. If buying for a co-worker or a distant family member, guests tend to spend $50-$75 each on a wedding gift.

2. Those attending the wedding of a relative or friend are likely to spend $75-$100 each on a wedding gift.

3. When a close relative or close friend gets married, the wedding gift will probably cost $100-$150 or more per each guest.

This may not be appropriate in your town or city. It is good to check with peers and learn what wedding gifts customarily cost where you live.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:27 PM
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Give them something they will need for sure. Too bad nobody has come up with a Divorce Lawyer Prepaid Gift Card... that would be golden
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Old 07-19-09, 09:29 PM
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I'd say you get what you can afford. Average for me is 50. I can find something personal and special for that. I try to avoid the registries for close friends and relatives. For example, my family is Jewish and my cousin is getting married so I bought them a Mezuzah (blessing) for their doorway. It's more personal, meaningful, and was just 40 bucks. I could have got one for even less.

Another thing, if you're traveling far, I don't think a gift and certainly not a pricey one, is needed. I'm flying 2500 miles with my husband for the wedding. That is far more money than I'd ever spend on a gift
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Old 07-19-09, 09:29 PM
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Spend what you can afford, no more.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:30 PM
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It depends on what you can afford and how close you are to those getting married. Although, when my wife and I were married, practical gifts of stuff that we needed were the best, regardless of cost (or lack thereof).
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Old 07-19-09, 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted by luddite View Post
spend what you can afford, no more.
+1
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Old 07-19-09, 09:37 PM
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Also, avoid wasting money on stupid crap they will never use, like a gravy boat. I got a waffle iron for my wedding which I have never used, I chucked my ex husband to the curb last year, to boot.

Cash is great. We got cash and bought a new futon mattress and some cheap furniture with it, stuff we needed.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:38 PM
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Yeah, to what Luddite said. If you ARE going to buy household items, DO use their registry.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:39 PM
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$0. I hate weddings. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship?
Seriously, what luddite said is perfect. What you can afford.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:40 PM
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I concur. Marriage is a pretty stupid idea unless you are DEAD sure about each other, how often does that happen?
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Old 07-19-09, 09:45 PM
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What you can afford. When one couple of our friends got married we gave them $100. When another couple got married and we were in a better financial position they got $500 (hey, they're good friends). We also always give cash and a handwritten card.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by TamaraEden View Post
I'd say you get what you can afford. Average for me is 50. I can find something personal and special for that. I try to avoid the registries for close friends and relatives. For example, my family is Jewish and my cousin is getting married so I bought them a Mezuzah (blessing) for their doorway. It's more personal, meaningful, and was just 40 bucks. I could have got one for even less.

Another thing, if you're traveling far, I don't think a gift and certainly not a pricey one, is needed. I'm flying 2500 miles with my husband for the wedding. That is far more money than I'd ever spend on a gift
Fortunately all of them are local, and I'm only getting a hotel for one (which is about an hour from home) because I'd like to have one- or a few- too many

Originally Posted by Luddite View Post
Spend what you can afford, no more.
thats relative to the fact that I'm cheap, though. Ha.

Originally Posted by TamaraEden View Post
Yeah, to what Luddite said. If you ARE going to buy household items, DO use their registry.
Yes, so far I have gotten 1 gift off the registry for each (+/- $30) and thought I'd pair it up with something personal when I found the right thing - or cash.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:55 PM
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Naw, fulfilling a registry item is plenty. You have to attend four weddings, that is at least gas money and a nice outfit you have to fork out for. Give 'em a card and be done with it.

I'm cheap, too.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:57 PM
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When I was younger and broke as a joke, I made my gifts. I've done nice mushy graphics, personalized with date of wedding in an inexpensive frame.

If you're really close friends and have enough pics to make a little collage of the co uple, VOILA. Ten dollar gift worth more than words
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Old 07-19-09, 09:59 PM
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+1 on buying from the registry.

When we got married we *really* appreciated it when people bought things on our registry, no matter what the price. The stuff on our registry was really stuff we wanted/needed....some was really very inexpensive, some was more expensive. But the "awkward" gifts were ones where folks "got creative," including some stuff that was kinda pricey. Stick w/the registry.
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Old 07-19-09, 09:59 PM
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You know, the fact I took some reasonably good candid shots at my boyfriend's friend's wedding seemed to mean more to them than the registry item we bought, their professional photographer didn't really do detail shots or candids.
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Old 07-19-09, 10:51 PM
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Depending on how close I am to them, $20-50. My family's never been big gift spenders. And I suspect those figures of "averages" are skewed away from our demographic of recent graduates who are typically paying for student loans and/or first mortgages.

If there's something fairly expensive a couple wants and it's genuinely a good wedding gift (can you say Kitchen Aid?), a lot of times 2-3 people in my family will go together on it.

And of course, I always hope the fact that they bothered to invite me means that my presence at the event has value to them.


The online gift registries these days are extremely handy for shopping, but some couples go a little overboard in filling out the list. I hope I'm not derailing the thread too badly, but check out some excerpts from this friend I'm shopping for right now:

5 piece place setting x 12: $120 each
13" Platter: $165
5 Piece Flatware set x 12: $45 each
Salt Shaker: $41
Pepper Shaker: $41

I know, I know. You don't have to tell me that fine dining stuff is one of the traditional gifts, but dang! Just that section of the registry adds up to (whips out calculator)...over $5000. And while the stuff looks very nice it's not even China and silver...it's ceramic and stainless steel.
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Old 07-19-09, 10:56 PM
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Give them a kick in the junk and ask them what the hell they're thinking...
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Old 07-19-09, 11:10 PM
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For me the answer is: Whatever the appropriate gift costs.

Giving a gift that your friends will cherish and remember for the rest of their lives together isn't the time to be cheap, neither is it the time to try and impress them with how much money you have. Make the gift personal, sentimental and as cool and unique as I know you are capable of Arti. I have a feeling that you give good gift.
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Old 07-19-09, 11:25 PM
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You could always give them Facebook (or MySpace) page make-overs.
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Old 07-19-09, 11:49 PM
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The quoted article indicates that I tend to overspend on wedding gifts.

Originally Posted by UnsafeAlpine View Post
Give them a kick in the junk and ask them what the hell they're thinking...
KHITBASH: The gift that keeps on giving.
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Old 07-20-09, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
For me the answer is: Whatever the appropriate gift costs.

Giving a gift that your friends will cherish and remember for the rest of their lives together isn't the time to be cheap, neither is it the time to try and impress them with how much money you have. Make the gift personal, sentimental and as cool and unique as I know you are capable of Arti. I have a feeling that you give good gift.
Usually, I come up with some pretty rad personal gifts. I think with the number of weddings, showers, and bach parties I'm having a creative mindblock, though- and might just cop out and be lame.
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Old 07-20-09, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by UnsafeAlpine View Post
Give them a kick in the junk and ask them what the hell they're thinking...



+1 on giving what you can afford - and if they know each other (maybe even going to each other's weddings?) they'll totally understand.
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Old 07-20-09, 08:55 AM
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I just spend about $20 on something from the registry. Easy.
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