Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

Reaching out.

Old 09-09-09, 07:53 PM
  #1  
C-Note
Member
Thread Starter
 
C-Note's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 29

Bikes: 87' Falcon Harrier 12spd Road, 88' Panasonic Hardtail MTB SS

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Reaching out.

I'm not sure how many of you have had any encounter with my postings on this board but regardless i've read a lot and learned a lot here since i've taken up cycling, It seems to me to be a place where many different people from all walks come together for their love of bikes. There are many here with great wisdom and way with words whose wisdom and experience I seek right now.

On Monday evening my younger brother while on his way home from his girlfriend's house lost control of his motorcycle and later that evening after being flown to the hospital died from his injuries.

I'm coping fairly well but know that the worst is yet to come, I guess I'm just posting this in hopes that others who have dealt with similar things in their life may share with me their strength and experience. I know I have to deal with this in my own way but somehow I feel comfort in posting here as it has become a place that I trust for its knowledge and experience.

Thank you
C-Note is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 07:57 PM
  #2  
UnsafeAlpine
Domestic Domestique
 
UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,742

Bikes: Brand New Old Catamount! Schwinn Homegrown, Specialized FSR, Salsa Vaya, Salsa Chile Con Crosso

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I have not experienced the tragedy of losing a sibling but you are in my thoughts.
UnsafeAlpine is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 07:58 PM
  #3  
pgoat
Batw Griekgriek
 
pgoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NYC - for the moment...
Posts: 2,908

Bikes: 1985 Trek 500, 1986 Trek 500 Tri Series, 2005 Cannondale R1000

Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I don't have much wisdom to share but you have my sincerest condolences, and for your family also. I hope you find the strength to deal with this so that it need not get worse for you.
__________________
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.
pgoat is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 08:24 PM
  #4  
thebarerider
Senior Member
 
thebarerider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Norman, OK
Posts: 471

Bikes: Trek520

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
You can find the strength to make it through this tragedy. You and your family will come together and become stronger over time. Just keep your head up, and the darkest time will pass.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
thebarerider is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 08:28 PM
  #5  
DX-MAN
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,788
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Your brother was full of good spirits, having just spent quality time with his lady; he was also doing something he obviously loved -- motorcycling.

Filled with good spirit, pursuing and experiencing a passion...if you can't go in your sleep at an extreme old age, this would be a close second.

Celebrate his life, as he was doing to the end. Know that he is at rest, and can hurt no more. Yes, you hurt, and will for a while, nothing can help that; but remember him with a smile -- you owe him that, his life deserves that much.
DX-MAN is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 08:34 PM
  #6  
Allen
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts
I'm near Athens, just outside of Monroe.

My father was in a god awful accident last March when it snowed. He survived but was injured quite badly.

It's tough, but you live on and learn to endure.
I'm sorry for your loss. The pain will slowly lessen over time.
Allen is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 09:24 PM
  #7  
CbadRider
Senior Member
 
CbadRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the bridge with Picard
Posts: 5,935

Bikes: Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus

Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I'm sorry for your loss. I know there really is nothing I can say that will make the pain ease any faster. I will say a prayer for your family.
__________________
Originally Posted by Xerum 525 View Post
Now get on your cheap bike and give me a double century. You walking can of Crisco!!

Forum Guidelines *click here*
CbadRider is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 11:11 PM
  #8  
Randochap
Recovering mentalist
 
Randochap's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: On the Edge
Posts: 2,810

Bikes: Too many

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Very sorry to hear of your loss. You do right to reach out. make sure to do so within your family and help community. There is no shame in getting support during this difficult time.

All the best.
Randochap is offline  
Old 09-09-09, 11:20 PM
  #9  
USAZorro
Seor Member
 
USAZorro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florence, KY
Posts: 16,213

Bikes: Mostly English - predominantly Raleighs

Mentioned: 48 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 695 Post(s)
Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts
I'll keep you in my prayers. I haven't lost someone really close in such a rapid and untimely fashion, but I know the hole that losing a loved one can leave. If you have faith, that can serve to provide a different and comforting perspective. If not, DX-MAN has provided a healthy philosophical perspective for you. No matter, it won't be an easy thing, but time truly does have a way of healing this sort of pain.
__________________
In search of what to search for.
USAZorro is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 12:07 AM
  #10  
Big_e
Strong with the Fred
 
Big_e's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Nothing I can say will lessen the pain you feel over the loss of your brother. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
The pain you feel will never really lessen and go away. You will get used to it and it will become a part of you and in that way you will begin to deal with and live with it.
It is important that you share your thoughts with family and friends. As stated above, celebrate his life. Talk of him and to him.
When my dad passed away I was oh-so afraid of the great pain I knew was welling up inside me that I boxed up and shunned all his personal possessions. I didn't want to think or think of him 'cause I was afraid of the pain. Upon the advice of my priest and others, I went through his things a year later and felt like he was there with me again. Now my brother, sister and I talk of him often and it is like a soothing balm. We laugh at things he did and cry sometimes too but he will always be apart of us. It's been 20 years now and he will always be a part of us.
Ernest
Big_e is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 12:23 AM
  #11  
crackerjab
WTF is that smell?
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I lost a sister about 2 years ago to an untimely death. My dealing with it has been a roller coaster of emotions. What I have found to be most beneficial is the fond memories that I have of her. The celebration of her life, as it were.

My sincerest condolences and sympathies as I can relate to your pain of losing a sibling. Nothing about this is going to be easy, but in time your methods of coping with it will solidify.
crackerjab is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 12:37 AM
  #12  
Wordbiker
Pwnerer
 
Wordbiker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,909
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I thank you for your transparency and offer my condolences for your loss.
__________________
Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
Wordbiker is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 04:28 AM
  #13  
Siu Blue Wind
BACK2ME
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 12,922
Mentioned: 40 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1586 Post(s)
Liked 53 Times in 38 Posts
I've lost many people that were close to me and what kept me going is them. Knowing that they spent time with me reminded me of how special I was to them and that they chose ME to spend it with. Remembering the fun things that we went through, the growth and learning, how we were there for each other, how we actually were a part of each other's life. How fortunate I was to be able to give to them my self, my time, and to be the recipient of theirs as well. Things that we shared, just me and them and nobody else. To know that no matter what, death will never take all of that away, especially my love for them.

Hang tight. Don't be afraid to cry. Express your love for him. But please remember that each day makes you grow a tad stronger. And his memory will be there to reinforce that.
__________________
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 04:36 AM
  #14  
ehidle
T-Shirt Guy
 
ehidle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lansdale, PA
Posts: 464

Bikes: 2005 Fuji Team Issue, 2007 Fuji SL-1

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
I've lost many people that were close to me and what kept me going is them. Knowing that they spent time with me reminded me of how special I was to them and that they chose ME to spend it with. Remembering the fun things that we went through, the growth and learning, how we were there for each other, how we actually were a part of each other's life. How fortunate I was to be able to give to them my self, my time, and to be the recipient of theirs as well. Things that we shared, just me and them and nobody else. To know that no matter what, death will never take all of that away, especially my love for them.

Hang tight. Don't be afraid to cry. Express your love for him. But please remember that each day makes you grow a tad stronger. And his memory will be there to reinforce that.
THIS....

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't say it any better than Siu...
__________________
Yellow + Blue Jerseys!

Get your Cranky T-Shirt!
Men's
and Women's designs available
ehidle is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 08:03 AM
  #15  
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Posts: 6,163

Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa

Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 27 Post(s)
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Take the time now, to think of all the really special times you and your brother shared. Write those stories down in a journal. As you think of new ones, add them. Write about how you feel, etc.

If journaling is not something you do well, find another outlet for your feelings. Do not hold them in. Look into grief counseling.

Keep a heart of flesh, not a heart of stone and be strong knowing that all things in this life happen for a reason, though many times that reason is hard to comprehend and may not fit well into our view of how this world should be.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 08:05 AM
  #16  
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 1,182

Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Very very sorry for your loss.
__________________
Tude is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 08:09 AM
  #17  
Timber_8
Senior Member
 
Timber_8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: South East Massachusetts
Posts: 1,090
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I wish there was something I cold say to heal the pain. I am so very sorry
Timber_8 is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 08:26 AM
  #18  
KingTermite 
On my TARDIScycle!
 
KingTermite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
Posts: 3,925

Bikes: Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
You can never hear words that "make it better"....not much you can do but hold on tight and wait for the ride to end. Sometimes you aren't sure when it ends (at least it was that way when my mom died).

Good luck in the healing process. My deepest condolences for you and your family.



P.S. I hope you brother kicked death in the balls before being taken.
__________________
Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
KingTermite is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 10:12 AM
  #19  
C-Note
Member
Thread Starter
 
C-Note's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 29

Bikes: 87' Falcon Harrier 12spd Road, 88' Panasonic Hardtail MTB SS

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
thanks to everyone who posted so far.. I'm still dealing pretty well and am moved by the kind words and stories of others losses, it helps me to know that i'm not alone in the pain i'm experiencing,.

I have a great network of friends old and new, mine, his, ours, and they are all propping myself and my family up right now. We are strong and our friends are even stronger. I'll get through this.

Now i'm gonna go ride my bike.
C-Note is offline  
Old 09-10-09, 12:36 PM
  #20  
msincredible
crazy bike girl
 
msincredible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Central Coast
Posts: 3,325

Bikes: '07 Orbea Onix, '07 Birdy Yellow, '06 Cannondale Bad Boy (stolen)

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
So sorry to hear of your loss. ((hugs))
__________________
Countries I've ridden in: US, Canada, Ireland, UK, Germany, Netherlands, France, China, Singapore, Malaysia
States I've ridden in: Illinois, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, California, Nevada, Missouri, Colorado
msincredible is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
AHT2
General Cycling Discussion
5
08-25-18 09:51 PM
blawson71
Classic and Vintage Bicycles: Whats it Worth? Appraisals.
2
08-27-14 11:57 AM
jmagruder10
Classic and Vintage Bicycles: Whats it Worth? Appraisals.
11
07-07-12 06:55 AM
commuternate
Recreational & Family
6
08-03-09 08:32 AM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.