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Why can't I accept a friggin gift?

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Why can't I accept a friggin gift?

Old 07-24-11, 12:38 AM
  #1  
banerjek
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Why can't I accept a friggin gift?

Although my wife is not a cyclist, she has always been tolerant of my habit. Until 3 years ago, any of my bikes was worth more than both of our vehicles put together and she was cool with that. It was actually her idea to move a vehicle out of the garage so half of it could be fully dedicated to bikes.

She's driven support before and is willing to do 24 hr TT as well as Race Across Oregon, and has offered to drive for some pretty mind numbing rides. Yet she's genuinely unhappy with my idea of getting a motorcycle -- she's made it clear that while she trusts me on a bike anytime anywhere, a motorbike is a totally different game.

I see that objectively I have it made, but how do I get my head on my shoulders? The only way the motorbike is acceptable to her is if I ride it at a track. I've taken courses and will take more, but I still want to get a bike and get on the road.
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Old 07-24-11, 12:45 AM
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Please tell us how to find and keep a woman like that. You must have a gift.
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Old 07-24-11, 01:08 AM
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Originally Posted by hooligancyclist View Post
Please tell us how to find and keep a woman like that. You must have a gift.
I know my post makes me look like a totally selfish bastаrd, but it's all about give and take. We both make some significant sacrifices and that is not a bad thing.
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Old 07-24-11, 04:21 AM
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Marital compromise goes both ways. She puts up with your cycling (even supports it!), you can put up with her fear of motorcycles. Not trying to be condescending here, that's just how I see it.
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Old 07-24-11, 04:39 AM
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Banerjek, in your wife's defense, I've seen way too many people die or be seriously injured while on motorcycles. Not usually by their own driving, but mostly by other drivers, intoxicated or not. Bicycling is riding in a jungle. Motorcycling is riding in a warzone.
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Old 07-24-11, 04:51 AM
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Ride it at a track? So you're wanting a 600cc-1000cc sport bike?
Will this be your 1st motorcycle? If so, I'm not surprised she's worried.

Maybe she'd feel more at ease if you bought an old CB160-200-350 for street use.
They are fun as hell & there's quite a lot of people racing them too.
http://www.motorcycleclassics.com/To...60-racing.aspx
or start out with a couple of "His & Hers" scooters to break the ice.
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Old 07-24-11, 05:40 AM
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Go with a moped, then upgrade the engine.
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Old 07-24-11, 05:46 AM
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Originally Posted by banerjek View Post
I know my post makes me look like a totally selfish bastаrd, but it's all about give and take. We both make some significant sacrifices and that is not a bad thing.
Looks like she's given a lot, and there's no need for you to take anymore. I completely understand where your wife is coming from. Mine would do the same thing for me. I think right now you're not wanting to give and take, a little more push and shove. If she's letting you get a motorcycle, but only for the track, then I think you should take it. She's willing to give you a lot and you should be happy with at least that. Don't push the issue to the point that eventually you'll regret something. I think she's trying to give you what you want and wanting you to be safe at the same time. She just cares, that's all.

Now tell her to take it easy today, you got lunch and dinner taken care of.
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Old 07-24-11, 05:51 AM
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For a second there I thought I was on motorcycleforums.net
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Old 07-24-11, 05:51 AM
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Originally Posted by eddiepliers View Post
Bicycling is riding in a jungle. Motorcycling is riding in a warzone.
Nicely put.
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Old 07-24-11, 06:20 AM
  #11  
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There's a reason I don't own a motorcycle; I'm way too comfortable on two wheels. I'd become a statistic.

Perhaps she has similar concerns?

It sounds like she's pretty awesome. You're already way ahead on the game here. If she has such strong feelings about it I'd say let it go.
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Old 07-24-11, 06:27 AM
  #12  
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Old 07-24-11, 06:37 AM
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if you think you're invisible on a bicycle, for some reason, it seems that you're even more invisible on a motorcycle. You have no more protection than on a bike really, you can go much faster, accelerate quicker, and, still without much more protection what you are riding now weighs much more.

I love cycling. I bought a Ninja 600R back in the day and it was a crotch rocket! Man that thing would fly.... Almost killed myself......... seriously. Had at least three wrecks on it, repaired it, sold it and never looked back.

if you really want one, and have never ridden one, get one and start out on the track. That is fun too, and maybe after awhile you'll be satisfied, or your wife will agree to some road riding.

OR, buy a cruiser cycle and take her with you!! get the bluetooth sterio helmets with microphones, etc., and take a vacation to one of the national parks on it. That is, and would be fun!! Nevertheless, sounds like you have a great wife and partner in life. what she is asking is a small enough sacrifice. Like someone above said, its give and take. this is the give part.
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Old 07-24-11, 07:53 AM
  #14  
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Originally Posted by rollin View Post
For a second there I thought I was on motorcycleforums.net
I think it is
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Old 07-24-11, 07:53 AM
  #15  
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She's trying to keep you alive to enjoy your company. If you think cycling in FL is dangerous, try motorcycling. It is truly a warzone.
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Old 07-24-11, 08:21 AM
  #16  
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Originally Posted by FLvector View Post
She's trying to keep you alive to enjoy your company. If you think cycling in FL is dangerous, try motorcycling. It is truly a warzone.
I can attest to this all too well. I loved riding motorcycles but one error in judgement that would have been inconvenient in a car and impossible on a bike (running out of gas) changed me forever. I'd love to ride again but I understand your spouse's reservations.
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Old 07-24-11, 08:33 AM
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WTF does this have to do with road cycling?

The mods moved a discussion on TdF to another forum and it's at least about cycling.
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Old 07-24-11, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by FLvector View Post
She's trying to keep you alive to enjoy your company. If you think cycling in FL is dangerous, try motorcycling. It is truly a warzone.
Yup. Riding a motorcycle is basically like riding a bicycle on a highway. One small slip up by you or any idiot around you and it's lights out forever.
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Old 07-24-11, 09:49 AM
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She supports your cycling because she can reason that it helps to keep you healthy. Riding a motorcycle doesn't, at least not in the same way.

I rode motorcycles all my life until just before I got married, then not again until after I was divorced.
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Old 07-24-11, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by banerjek View Post
Although my wife is not a cyclist, she has always been tolerant of my habit. Until 3 years ago, any of my bikes was worth more than both of our vehicles put together and she was cool with that. It was actually her idea to move a vehicle out of the garage so half of it could be fully dedicated to bikes.

She's driven support before and is willing to do 24 hr TT as well as Race Across Oregon, and has offered to drive for some pretty mind numbing rides. Yet she's genuinely unhappy with my idea of getting a motorcycle -- she's made it clear that while she trusts me on a bike anytime anywhere, a motorbike is a totally different game.

I see that objectively I have it made, but how do I get my head on my shoulders? The only way the motorbike is acceptable to her is if I ride it at a track. I've taken courses and will take more, but I still want to get a bike and get on the road.
She sounds like my mom! In any case, I know many people who ride motorcycles and pretty much all of them have crashed at one point. I also know people who have ended up in a hospital for a long time or are dead now. I can't say that it's going to keep me from riding a bike in the future, but I really understand that the risks are not insignificant and anyone riding a bike owes it to his/her family to at least get a sizeable life insurance and an excellent medical coverage. If you can't afford that, then...
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Old 07-24-11, 09:55 AM
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I've ridden motorcycles for over 25 years. I will not ride on the street, track riding and racing only for me.

I have over 20 crashes on the track.
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Old 07-24-11, 10:57 AM
  #22  
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I won't get a motorcycle because I know I'll cycle less. The day I get too injured to pedal, I might consider it.
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Old 07-24-11, 11:25 AM
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I rode motorcycles from age 15 for about 20 years, most of that time exclusively, so I understand the urge. It can be fun - a lot of fun. I'd get one now, and get rid of the car completely but concerns for the family hold me back.

I don't see getting one and not eventually riding it on the road no matter what the original intentions are, so I'd keep that in mind during negotiations. Reading between the lines your wife is right that it's far more dangerous, and there's not a darned thing the same between riding a street bike and road cycling. From a perspective of only 3 years on a bicycle at age 50+. Maybe high-speed cornering, a bit, but honestly you don't even do that maneuver much either way unless you're racing. To top it off in her favor, most of the guys I see on the road have no business being there in my opinion, given their skills and judgment. No doubt every single one of them would disagree with me.

On the other hand you've been taking courses and probably have an innate aptitude. It won't be as dangerous for you as for the average guy buying a hog and jumping into traffic. Maybe the track-only agreement can work if you really mean it, or you and she can establish some boundaries on street riding from the outset. Your best bet though in my opinion is if you can get your wife into it, on some low-stress street rides. Fun is fun after all. She might see the light.
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Old 07-24-11, 11:32 AM
  #24  
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In most situations the bicycle is self limiting your speed. Yet the motorcycle will go as fast as anyone decides to go just by turning the throttle
The bicycle has lots of health benefits along with the risk of injury. The motorcycle has more risk of injury with almost no health benefits. If you spend a lot of time on a road motorcycle it could take fitness away as it reduces pedaling time. Motocross and fast dirt riding can be exhausting and really make you stronger.
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Old 07-24-11, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by rollin View Post
For a second there I thought I was on motorcycleforums.net
We don't have a motorcycle forum, but we do have Foo.
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