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Anyone ever wish they never got married?

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Anyone ever wish they never got married?

Old 12-27-12, 10:11 AM
  #51  
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Let's see...

Wife #1: Physically abusive... BUT... I have a wonderful son from that marriage. Soooo: yes and no.
Wife #2: I was tricked into a financial scam. She wiped out my life savings. Yes, I regret getting married.
Wife #3: She was a serial cheater. We married, she cheated, we renewed our vows, she cheated 3 days later. Yes, I regret getting married, TWICE.

Wife #4: She is perfect. She's like most men's "fantasy girl". No regrets, EVER. Even in the difficult times, I'm glad to have her as my partner.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:26 AM
  #52  
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Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
35 years so far, and yeah, sometimes I wish we hadn't, but that's always a transitory thing, because in general, I am pretty happy with her. It's a normal human thing to consider, "What if I hadn't", though.
That is always a normal question that pops into most people's heads. No harm there. That goes with most any decision that one makes. But there is a difference between wondering the "what ifs" vs regret and thinking about murder of your spouse. That's just nuts.

Originally Posted by eja_ bottecchia View Post
It all depends. In my situation yes, it was a mistake getting married to my soon to be ex.

You know the old adage, "never marry anyone who has more problems that you do?". Well, it is true.

The sad thing is that a few years into the marriage I "knew" that it was not going to work out. Inertia and the mistaken belief that it "could" get better, however, kept me at it. A typical case of good money chasing after bad money.

I am not against marriage in general...just down on my extremely poor choice of marriage partner.
A mistake is a mistake. You gave it your all. You found out this wasn't for you. Not everyone is for everyone. Now you are heading toward your happiness!
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Old 12-27-12, 10:30 AM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by windhchaser View Post
i am so glad im single i can keep my bike in my liveing room keep my kayak there to i can also have a pet monkey
My wife is remarkably tolerant of bike disassembly in the kitchen.

That said it's her bike I'm fixing/cleaning/tuning often enough that she can't really complain. All she asks is that I put the bike back together again and don't leave chain oil over the surfaces she wants to use to prepare food.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:44 AM
  #54  
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Reminds me of an email I got a while back...


When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now 40 and am looking for a girl with big tits.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:47 AM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by rumrunn6 View Post
every other day

then every other day, I realize it was the best thing I ever did

so take your pick with your life ...
I was on the fence a long time ago, and a few good friends here on the FOO helped me out, they didn't help me make a decision, they just helped me out. Ive never doubted my/our relationship since then. Its good to have friends you can count on. (you know who you are! ) Anyways I made my decision a long time ago, and I'm sticking with it! Through thick and thin, for better or worse. Just that every once in a while I have the need to scream out loud, thats all.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:48 AM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by contango View Post
Reminds me of an email I got a while back...


When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now 40 and am looking for a girl with big tits.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Old 12-27-12, 11:33 AM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
Not that you don't love your SO, just wondering if anyone else, for what ever reason, has ever actually rode out to the middle of no where, stopped, and yelled."I wish I never ever got ****ing married! What was I thinking!? I must have been out of my ****ing mind!"
I'm sure my wife does that on a regular basis.
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Old 12-27-12, 11:35 AM
  #58  
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Originally Posted by ilikebikes View Post
Not that you don't love your SO, just wondering if anyone else, for what ever reason, has ever actually rode out to the middle of no where, stopped, and yelled."I wish I never ever got ****ing married! What was I thinking!? I must have been out of my ****ing mind!"
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Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 12-27-12 at 11:58 AM.
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Old 12-27-12, 06:28 PM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by eofelis View Post
Years and years ago I got married, got divorced, then got on with my life.

Now I've been with my bf for over 10 years. Living together, not planning on getting married. No real need to actually be married.
That's about where I am, except we're not living together.
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Old 12-27-12, 06:45 PM
  #60  
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I regret my marriage, we got divorced so it obviously wasn't meant to be. At the time I was big into climbing and had a good paying job that kept me on the road for months at a time. In the three years of our marriage I was either on the road working or on a mountain all but 3 or 4 months of that time. She wanted the stay at home life which I wasn't ready for. We fought a lot over the phone and when I was climbing in remote areas we sometimes went 4 months without speaking. I can't really say I blame her for leaving. She gave me an ultimatum, I could either cancel my Denali trip and find a normal job or she'd leave me. I went climbing. Her stuff was gone when I got back. Signed the papers she left me and that was that.

Even today I don't think I'm ready for marriage. I'm far too independent and too much of a free spirit. Having somebody ask me where I'm going all the time would drive me nuts.
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Old 12-27-12, 08:27 PM
  #61  
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It's really a self learning issue when someone you love knows so well how to manipulate you to get things they need. I can see screaming, but I bet they do the same.
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Old 12-27-12, 08:33 PM
  #62  
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Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
A mistake is a mistake. You gave it your all. You found out this wasn't for you. Not everyone is for everyone. Now you are heading toward your happiness!
Siu, thank you for your words.

Even now I still have moments of tender feelings for her. Then I remember the wringer she has put me through throughout the years and those tender feelings recede deep into the back of my head.
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Old 12-27-12, 09:51 PM
  #63  
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I guess you have to take the bad with the good. In my case there is more good than bad. But, given she is Koren and I'm not there is always a cultural barrier - even after 10 years. Some days its like living with a changling. Good mood, bad mood, kids do something and its my fault (not sure on the logic of that one!) Overall though, I made a vow and I intend to keep it. Besides the kids need two parents and their welfare comes before anything else in my mind.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:12 PM
  #64  
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About a year into my marriage, I was working where a lot of the other guys were single. They would typically go out after work every Friday night. As a courtesy, they usually invited me but I always turned them down because at that point we had no money and my wife didn't really have any friends in the area (we'd moved to Los Angeles and only had one car).

So one Friday, Dennis dropped by and asked whether I wanted to join the guys for a few drinks after work.

I replied, "Naw, I gotta go home to the wife "

He countered, "You know, we'd love to have a wife to go home to, but we don't, so we go out to meet girls and just go home drunk instead. You already have what we're looking for."



Boy, did that change my perspective.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:21 PM
  #65  
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We have been married for a year and a half and have been a couple for five and a half years, my wife is my best friend and someone I can trust with anything and everything.

There has never been anything but this trust and respect between us, we have never shared a harsh word or had a reason to fight about anything even though we might disagree on some minor things.

She is the love of my life and I know that I could not have dreamed her... I only wish we had found each other sooner.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:40 PM
  #66  
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Some things work out, and some don't. The thing that always surprises me is the 25 and 30 year marriages that hit the skids. Did it take that long to figure out you didn't like somebody? Or, maybe they stayed together 'till the kids were gone.
I got married 36 years ago to somebody with career plans, which kept her active and independent, and we chose not to have kids.
No regrets at all.
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Old 12-27-12, 10:46 PM
  #67  
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"Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is" That being said, personally I have found that when I have found myself unhappy, it is easy to focus on my mate, and want to blame her, of course that is a signal to look at myself, because it is not her job to make me happy. 32 years of marriage and better than ever!
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Old 12-27-12, 11:55 PM
  #68  
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My wife was 4 months pregnant when she left me. I have a daughter somewhere, I never met her or have even seen a picture. My ex moved back to the Oregon coast to be with family and I was not welcome. Had a bit of a off and on drug habit. My ex never asked for child support with the understanding that I never ask to visit. When she's old enough to understand she'll be told I died before she was born. My daughter is around 5 or 6 years old. That's the one aspect of my marriage that makes me wish for a do over somedays. Then I remember what a self centered jerk I was and I realize I don't deserve a second chance.
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Old 12-28-12, 12:03 AM
  #69  
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Originally Posted by iheartbacon View Post
/snip Then I remember what a self centered jerk I was and I realize I don't deserve a second chance.
I think everyone deserves a second chance. More importantly, however, I think that at some point your daughter deserves to meet her daddy. It will be good for her and for you.
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Old 12-28-12, 12:14 AM
  #70  
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I have a lot of chronic health problems now, mainly with my heart. It's doubtful I'll make it much more than 10 or 15 years. It's be a longshot for me to hit 50. That'd just be heartbreak for her in the end. Things are better the way they are now. It doesn't mean I don't care. I still wonder what she looks like and how she's doing, but I understand it's for the best. Trust me, I was a real *******.
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Old 12-28-12, 12:15 AM
  #71  
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Originally Posted by iheartbacon View Post
My wife was 4 months pregnant when she left me. I have a daughter somewhere, I never met her or have even seen a picture. My ex moved back to the Oregon coast to be with family and I was not welcome. Had a bit of a off and on drug habit. My ex never asked for child support with the understanding that I never ask to visit. When she's old enough to understand she'll be told I died before she was born. My daughter is around 5 or 6 years old. That's the one aspect of my marriage that makes me wish for a do over somedays. Then I remember what a self centered jerk I was and I realize I don't deserve a second chance.
People change. Your health issues have intervened. Health issues can have a very sobering effect on anyone.

But total and utter shut-out by the mother is not a solution to anything. I know intimately about this. In your case, you are carrying around a guilt that satisfies the mother and her family. But at some stage, everyone has to get over it.

Your daughter is going to be a very confused and angry person when she finds out the lie that her mother and her family have instigated. Trust me on that one, too. You just hope that she doesn't have a hereditary medical issue arise that could really upset their scheme.
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Old 12-28-12, 12:42 AM
  #72  
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Originally Posted by iheartbacon View Post
My wife was 4 months pregnant when she left me. I have a daughter somewhere, I never met her or have even seen a picture. My ex moved back to the Oregon coast to be with family and I was not welcome. Had a bit of a off and on drug habit. My ex never asked for child support with the understanding that I never ask to visit. When she's old enough to understand she'll be told I died before she was born. My daughter is around 5 or 6 years old. That's the one aspect of my marriage that makes me wish for a do over somedays. Then I remember what a self centered jerk I was and I realize I don't deserve a second chance.
I never met my father until I was 28, he died from a heart attack as he was preparing to celebrate our first Father's day together.

You are not the self centred jerk you were and your ex has no right to deceive your daughter with lies, these will hurt her more than anything.
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Old 12-28-12, 01:04 AM
  #73  
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Guys, you are not in possession of the full facts. I put my marriage completely on the back burner. I put my work, climbing, getting high, my cars, ahead of her. God gave me a beautiful Christian woman to love, He gave me a child to love, and I blew it. When she was learning to walk I was doing blow and building a Charger from the ground up. I wasn't there for anything. Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to burst back on the scene and disrupt their lives? That would just be a continuation of my selfish behavior. It's not change, it's me doing what I've always done. Whatever suits me best at that particular time. I know my daughter is being raised in a loving Christian home. I'm sure by now my wife has been blessed with a husband that treats her the way she deserves to be treated. Why would I want to disrupt all of that? It's not like we're going to get back together and be a family. No, the fairest and kindest thing I can do is keep my distance. With my income I'd be able to travel to see her once, maybe twice, a year. That would be very confusing for a child. It's time for me to be an adult and accept things the way they are.
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Old 12-28-12, 02:15 AM
  #74  
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I can see your point of view. My Father was a fisherman who got my Mother pregnant when she 16 and I was consequently adopted out. For the first 23 years of my life I wondered why I was taller and genrally different. It all became apparent when I met my natural Mother. It also filled a gap that I didn't even know existed. My second daughter has the most beautiful blond hair that can't come from her Korean side and my Mother is most certainly not blond either. I often wonder just who the man who the man who Fathered me was. I don't presume to judge, but I think you are doing your daughter a disservice by disappearing. Perhaps when she is older (21) you might seek permission to at least meet her. It will certainly make things clearer for her.
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Old 12-28-12, 05:40 PM
  #75  
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Originally Posted by eja_ bottecchia View Post
Siu, thank you for your words.

Even now I still have moments of tender feelings for her. Then I remember the wringer she has put me through throughout the years and those tender feelings recede deep into the back of my head.
That is because there was something about her that you fell in love with. But you have to remember, people change. And somewhere along the line change happened where it wasn't a fit for the both of you. It's absolutely normal to still feel a love for her, because back in the day, she was someone that you felt AT THE TIME was very special and worth every bit of your heart. Don't feel bad for that. Just because you still have some love for her, doesn't mean that you are IN love with her.

Love yourself first. That's most important. Because from loving yourself, you can share that love with others when you are ready to.
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