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Fear of Life

Old 02-07-05, 11:18 AM
  #1  
Mayonnaise
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Fear of Life

When I was in college I had a roommate that become one of my dearest friends; I love him like a brother. When we met he had so many answers to many of the questions that troubled me. He brought me out of my shell and taught me to take a bite out of the world before you die. He convinced me that it didnt matter what other people thought of me, just do what you think is right. I was absolutely convinced he was going places, that he would be somebody.
He called yesterday saying the same things hes been saying for the past 20 years: next week something big is going to break and his whole life is about to change. Hes going to finally start acting. Hes going to finally get his standup routine down. His uncle is going to get him cast in a new movie (his uncle is very famous, a name you all know). Hes trying to convince me but hes really trying to convince himself. For 10 years hes told me next week hes finally going to take the jump, buy a computer and write a screenplay. Hes never bought a computer. Cant even get a credit card.
I used to be amazed at how he could keep renewing this fantasy of his, how it perpetuates itself year after year, but Im not thinking about that too much anymore. Today his life is pathetic and sad, very sad. My friend, who I love, is a loser.
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Old 02-07-05, 11:57 AM
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that does it...I'm taking the brake OFF.








seriously though, don't we all experience that on some level?
also: maybe this time it's your turn to help him out...
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Old 02-07-05, 11:58 AM
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Are you talking about me? Itsure as hell sounds like it.
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Old 02-07-05, 12:24 PM
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No, I'm sure they're talking about me, but I don't think I have a famous uncle. I'll check google to make sure...
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Old 02-07-05, 12:25 PM
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You never can tell when someone will get the self motivated jumpstart they need. I had a friend who did little beyond smoke dope and work crappy jobs into his thirties convinced that it was always right around the corner, that break that would let him smoke dope and do little else without constantly struggling for rent and food. I haven't kept in touch, maybe it happened but peobably not. I partied away my 20's too but I never really believed I'd have a big break, just figured when I was ready I'd take more responsibilty on and do something for myself. Another friend of mine decided to do the same partly because his dad did it, being a slacker til about 31-32 and then up and back to school and law school and was a partner by 37.

Some people get stuck though.
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Old 02-07-05, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Mayonnaise
Today his life is pathetic and sad, very sad. My friend, who I love, is a loser.

By whose yardstick, yours? It may be so. Perhaps by his or even my yardstick he's rich beyond belief.
IMHO ~ It sounds like he shared a lot of his 'wealth' with you in college.

You should be ashamed.
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Old 02-07-05, 12:48 PM
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I'm glad I'm not thinking there's something big in my future anymore. I might get my head together and do something with my life, but at least I'm not expecting anything to just fall out of the sky or anything. Hell, I'm only 29, there should be more time for me to get it together, right?

Yeah, keep telling myself that. Somehow it will turn into truth.
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Old 02-07-05, 12:52 PM
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I wonder if your beloved friend is posting his story on "New Actor's Forum". Maybe he even uses the very same last line that you use. Do ya think?
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Old 02-07-05, 01:03 PM
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sounds to me that the guy can use some professional help. He could be delusional, manic-depressive, whatever it might be, you should convince him to talk to someone.
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Old 02-07-05, 01:23 PM
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a whole lifetime if it takes that long. I know it just might with me...and that is good.

Originally Posted by HereNT
Hell, I'm only 29, there should be more time for me to get it together, right?
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Old 02-08-05, 12:32 AM
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Mayonnaise--

From your posts I think you understand what most people don't. From your posts I think you are what most people are not. I live through the freedom in your words and your convictions move me.
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Old 02-08-05, 01:21 AM
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If I never live up to the expectations of others, but I live up to my own, then I am happy. In living my life, nearly all other people can take their expectations of me and blow them out their collective ass.
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Old 02-08-05, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by SamHouston
You never can tell when someone will get the self motivated jumpstart they need. I had a friend who did little beyond smoke dope and work crappy jobs into his thirties convinced that it was always right around the corner, that break that would let him smoke dope and do little else without constantly struggling for rent and food. I haven't kept in touch, maybe it happened but peobably not. I partied away my 20's too but I never really believed I'd have a big break, just figured when I was ready I'd take more responsibilty on and do something for myself. Another friend of mine decided to do the same partly because his dad did it, being a slacker til about 31-32 and then up and back to school and law school and was a partner by 37.

Some people get stuck though.
So there's hope for me?
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Old 02-08-05, 09:16 AM
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So I had one to many lonestars last night..So much for my first post! Ha.well guess I am not a lurker anymore.


Note to Self...

Do not use computer after night at the bar.
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Old 02-08-05, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by flamingo
So I had one to many lonestars last night..So much for my first post! Ha.well guess I am not a lurker anymore.


Note to Self...

Do not use computer after night at the bar.


It's alright, flamingo. I'll bet you're a fun drunk anyway.
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Old 02-08-05, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by ch0mb0
that does it...I'm taking the brake OFF.
Unfortunately for you, it'll be off the 9-speed and you'll realize much too late.
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Old 02-08-05, 12:33 PM
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yes...especially when i almost crash from drunken stupidity

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Old 02-08-05, 04:01 PM
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almost?
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