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Old 02-06-14, 04:08 PM   #326
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Is dressed up like a deuce.
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Old 02-06-14, 04:35 PM   #327
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not a ******...
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Old 02-06-14, 04:39 PM   #328
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Thinks asterisks are a part of speech, like uh and duh and whatever.
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Old 02-06-14, 05:50 PM   #329
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Is proficient in Valley Girl speak, like, whatever.
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Old 02-06-14, 05:52 PM   #330
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like
totally gagged himself with a spoon
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Old 02-06-14, 05:58 PM   #331
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Will use his Shift Key for work.
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Old 02-06-14, 06:15 PM   #332
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Shifts his keys in his pockets, at least that's what the second grade school girls think while he's subbing...
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Old 02-07-14, 12:26 AM   #333
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...would love to have a few keys, but the locked facility where he resides does not permit them to the residents. Still lotsa pocket action going on, 'though.
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Old 02-07-14, 06:41 AM   #334
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Eight ball in the corner pocket is what he had on him at the time of his arrest...
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Old 02-07-14, 07:08 AM   #335
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Gets high on Jesus, not drugs.
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Old 02-07-14, 09:45 AM   #336
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Refers to a session with a mental health professional as 'getting shrink-wrapped'.
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Old 02-07-14, 01:22 PM   #337
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His preferred 'shrink-wrap' is something in a festive color, ribbed if available, and from Trojan.
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Old 02-07-14, 05:10 PM   #338
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...his ceremonial Snohomish tribal name, loosely translated, reads "French tickler".
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Old 02-07-14, 05:22 PM   #339
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His spirit name, given to him after a quest in the desert, translates to 'Drunken recipient of bodily fluids'.
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Old 02-07-14, 05:49 PM   #340
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We learned in an earlier post that his wife is called Three Horses because she nag, nag, nag. His teenage daughter is called Merry Christmas cause she ho, ho, ho!
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Old 02-07-14, 07:47 PM   #341
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..............wore a condom hat to work on Monday and Tuesday. Nobody said anything about it at all.
He's considering showing up next Monday without any pants, but wants to wait and see what the weather is doing.

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Old 02-07-14, 08:18 PM   #342
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His large and turgid brain necessitates a condom hat with the reservoir tip, lest it start to ejaculate spurts of brilliance.
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Old 02-07-14, 08:37 PM   #343
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Has a select group of young Snohomish braves he's teaching to sing in perfect harmony and they'd like to sell the world some coke.
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Old 02-07-14, 08:41 PM   #344
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His large and turgid brain necessitates a condom hat with the reservoir tip, lest it start to ejaculate spurts of brilliance.

...a master of the ancient, Native American, spiritual practice of flaccid ejaculation, he nonetheless insists on parading naked with a full erection in the tribal fertility ritual.
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Old 02-07-14, 08:43 PM   #345
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Picky.

Or is it sniped?

I get so confused...
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Old 02-07-14, 08:44 PM   #346
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Has a select group of young Snohomish braves he's teaching to sing in perfect harmony and they'd like to sell the world some coke.
....is very fond of his dental hygienist. He's particularly effusive in his praise of her anatomical charms when given the proper anesthetic.
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Old 02-07-14, 08:45 PM   #347
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Picky.

Or is it sniped?

I get so confused...
....it's probably not the drugs.
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Old 02-07-14, 08:48 PM   #348
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....is very fond of his dental hygienist. He's particularly effusive in his praise of her anatomical charms when given the proper anesthetic.
Oooh aa oogiville ies nysk s goovavall
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Old 02-08-14, 11:16 AM   #349
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Oooh aa oogiville ies nysk s goovavall

Begs the dentist to administer Versed for the procedures, since it is the closest thing he gets to sex.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/1...03.03147.x/pdf
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Old 02-08-14, 06:18 PM   #350
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...as a hospital risk manager, a large part of his job is convincing the staff not to Bogart the hallucinogens.
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