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Old 06-15-17, 07:59 PM   #9076
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When he read the headline today "Blimp goes down at US Open" he thought "That @dynodonn is a wild and crazy guy."
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Old 06-16-17, 07:36 AM   #9077
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Was severely reprimanded by numerous law enforcement, city, and air force officials, in his causing considerable public panic, and several military aircraft to scramble, after his attempts at the Guinness record of the longest running helium voice got out of hand.
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Old 06-16-17, 09:41 AM   #9078
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The vice squad hs an APB out on him because he's on the lamb.
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Old 06-16-17, 10:21 AM   #9079
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Clears all lies with the missus before posting.
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Old 06-17-17, 07:01 AM   #9080
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Is wearing a cape and tights spouting off about "Truth, Justice and The Armenian Way!"
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Old 06-17-17, 08:34 AM   #9081
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With his super walker powers,he is faster than a week long bowel movement, more powerful than a cup of Geritol, and is able to leap door thresholds after several bounds.
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Old 06-17-17, 09:26 AM   #9082
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Has an endless supply of colonoscopy videos.
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Old 06-17-17, 09:54 AM   #9083
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They chucked him out of school
cuz the teacher knew he had the funk
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Old 06-17-17, 09:56 AM   #9084
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Always plays Bee Gee's disco songs on loop.
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Old 06-17-17, 02:01 PM   #9085
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Says he's not disease-ridden; claims to be "highly probiotic".
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Old 06-17-17, 05:35 PM   #9086
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Is the CDC's pubic enemy number one.
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Old 06-17-17, 05:39 PM   #9087
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While he was avoiding public enemy number one, he inadvertently stepped in number two.
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Old 06-18-17, 05:04 AM   #9088
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Is scheduled to have his tapeworms digitized this week.
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Old 06-18-17, 08:12 AM   #9089
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Made his armpits into "sanctuary cities" for the fleas from a a thousand Middle Eastern camels.
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Old 06-18-17, 08:26 AM   #9090
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Likes his wimenz like he likes his camels - with no filter.
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Old 06-18-17, 10:20 AM   #9091
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Put the "dad" in skedaddle.

Happy Father's Day you liars.
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Old 06-18-17, 01:29 PM   #9092
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For Father's Day, his children bought him a lifetime membership at the local liars club.
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Old 06-18-17, 03:04 PM   #9093
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Lies to himself about being his kids' daddy.
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Old 06-18-17, 10:26 PM   #9094
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Regularly blurts out to his kids with "Who's your daddy!"
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Old 06-18-17, 10:48 PM   #9095
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He's a cat daddy and Maury Povich has proof.
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Old 06-19-17, 04:52 AM   #9096
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Is the secret Love Child of Jerry Springer and Roseanne Barr.
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Old 06-19-17, 07:20 AM   #9097
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Roseanne Barr was his singing coach.
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Old 06-19-17, 11:41 AM   #9098
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His kids all bought the Jerry Springer strength paternity test kits for Father's Day and took odds on who was the adopted one.
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Old 06-19-17, 11:57 AM   #9099
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His family is so inbred he is his own father.
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Old 06-20-17, 07:15 AM   #9100
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All of his family members are expert banjo players.
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