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Tired parent :-(

Old 08-22-14, 08:59 AM
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Tired parent :-(

I know this isn't a parenting forum, but I need some advice! My son is almost 15 months old (end of this month). For the past two weeks he's been waking up around 3ish, cries but thankfully goes back to sleep. But two hours later, 5:30 on the dot, wakes up and cries, doesn't go back to sleep till I bring him something to fill his tummy. He's still bf'ing, my wife has milk in the fridge, so that's what I feed him. Wife is taking care of our 3 week old now, so I'm giving her a break and taking care of the 15 month old. It's definitely taking its toll - having to do this - and go to work for a full day. Yesterday I took a day off of work, and it was nice being able to 'sleep in' because the 15 month old slept after I fed him. And being able to nap when he napped around noon. Can't do that at work. Not saying being a stay at home mom/dad is easy, but you definitely have more opportunity for rest & some shut-eye. Love my little ones to death though, not complaining. Just asking for those that have the experience, when does it get any better/easier? We've trucked on for over a year, and he's had better sleeping habits when he was 8 months old!! His sleeping pattern just seems to be reversing back to when he was younger! :-( Anyways, back to work.
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Old 08-22-14, 09:22 AM
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As a parent I've decided it never gets easier. It just keeps getting different.
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Old 08-22-14, 09:37 AM
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Maybe try to go to bed earlier?
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Old 08-22-14, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Tundra_Man View Post
As a parent I've decided it never gets easier. It just keeps getting different.
I really value sleep though. I feel like if I'm well rested, I can deal with just about anything a kid can conjure up at a later age. :-( A good night of sleep gets me through my job. Ok... when does sleepless nights get better? I think I'm going to go cold turkey on the 5:30 feedings. I think he's turning it into a habit.
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Old 08-22-14, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted by C Law View Post
Maybe try to go to bed earlier?
I sort of do. He goes to bed around 8ish. I go to bed around 10ish. I just don't have enough time to get things done between getting home from work and putting him to bed to do anything else! Thank god for bike commuting, at least I can sneak in some exercise! So my 8pm to 10pm is full of gettin' things done time. Sometimes I just say 'forget it' and go to bed at 9:30ish.

Side note - I'm a LIGHT sleeper. It SUCKS. I'll wake up to a pin drop.
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Old 08-22-14, 09:42 AM
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<----- "waaaah, waaaaah" :-/ I sound like a basket case.
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Old 08-22-14, 10:11 AM
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Hey all parents have been there and it is okay to vent and complain to the appropriate forum, not to your wife.

As @Tundra_Man says it keeps getting different, never really easy.

It is great you are being such a great father and husband. Just do the best, it is likely a growth spurt and will tucker out.

Heck my son usually gets up at night and he is almost 4! My wife and I tend to sleep in different rooms since I toss and turn and get too hot and she is a light sleeper. So my son ends up with me many nights. He is exactly the same type of sleeper as me and my wife appreciates she can get her rest and allow me to get up since I would be up anyway.

But, he slept through the night last night (I didn't) and it was amazing.

It is hard, it gets better, it gets worse, it is ultimately amazing.
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Old 08-22-14, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by joeyduck View Post
Hey all parents have been there and it is okay to vent and complain to the appropriate forum, not to your wife.

As @Tundra_Man says it keeps getting different, never really easy.

It is great you are being such a great father and husband. Just do the best, it is likely a growth spurt and will tucker out.

Heck my son usually gets up at night and he is almost 4! My wife and I tend to sleep in different rooms since I toss and turn and get too hot and she is a light sleeper. So my son ends up with me many nights. He is exactly the same type of sleeper as me and my wife appreciates she can get her rest and allow me to get up since I would be up anyway.

But, he slept through the night last night (I didn't) and it was amazing.

It is hard, it gets better, it gets worse, it is ultimately amazing.
It *has* been an amazing experience. I wouldn't trade them for an 'easier' life... that's for sure. They are both good kids - even though I don't know much about our littlest one by this point - I can tell she'll be a good kid :-)
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Old 08-22-14, 11:43 AM
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"When does it get easier?"

I have an (almost) 3 year old. I'll let you know. My son was a bad sleeper - like up every 45min bad sleeper. Luckily he started sleeping better (up once or twice a night) when he started daycare at 14 months. I do not function well when I'm tired, but I've gotten better at it. I'm so used to being exhausted now that it's just normal. I'm also a bad/light sleeper in general, so grabbing a nap doesn't happen for me.

No advice - it is what it is.
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Old 08-22-14, 11:53 AM
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15-month-old? 3-week-old?

Enjoy the peace and quiet. It's all downhill for the next 20 years.
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Old 08-22-14, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by achoo View Post
15-month-old? 3-week-old?
What can I say, we're eager beavers. lol

ETA on the above - getting fixed might be soon for me!

About two months away from official Irish twins.

ETA #2 - I'm the poster child of bicycling not making males sterile
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Old 08-22-14, 12:08 PM
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Tired Parent is a redundant phrase I believe.

I have been there as well. We have 4. #1 &2 are 15 months apart, #2 &3 are 18 months, and #3 &4 are once again 15 months apart. We got very spoiled with our first. He was a great sleeper, none of the usual issues at all. Then #2 came along and had all of the usual symptoms that you describe.

My oldest is now 7 and we are about to finally be out of diapers for all. The only advice I can give would be get sleep when you can, be patient with the little one, and be there for your wife. I know it has already been said, but it's worth repeating. You will likely feel like crap some days at work, but unless you are working with heavy machinery or are a surgeon, you are unlikely to cause any bodily damage to anyone.

It gets easier in the sense that they will sleep through the night eventually. My youngest (3yr) still gets up regularly at about 12:20am and gets in our bed. But 1 our of 4 that doesn't sleep through the night in their own bed isn't bad. And finally, as cliche as it might seem be sure to appreciate those late night/early morning times that you spend with the little ones.

Good luck!
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Old 08-22-14, 12:17 PM
  #13  
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Robot Check

This was the answer back when my kids were young, there may be other today, but this is the kind of tough love approach.
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Old 08-22-14, 12:21 PM
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It might be something to discuss with the 15 mos old's doctor, however, at that age, he is beginning to understand "control" - in others words, there is a reaction to his actions... if you are willing to feed him when he cries (and there is no reason) and allow him to remain awake (when reasonably he should go back to sleep) then you have been trained well... I think Dr. Ferber's book will be helpful...

But you have two young ones at home - I assume you knew it would be tough... just get through it; situations change quickly. Learn to nap during the day (like at lunch time) to get your sleep. Just remember, when you and your wife are old and gray, the pleasure your children and their children will bring you...

BTW I'm old... I barely sleep 5 hours a night if that... trust me you can function on minimal sleep....
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Old 08-22-14, 12:32 PM
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Sounds similar to my sleep pattern and I don't have any kids living in the house.
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Old 08-22-14, 12:36 PM
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Is he getting any other food besides milk? Maybe give him something more substantial for the last meal of the day.
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Old 08-22-14, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Tundra_Man View Post
As a parent I've decided it never gets easier. It just keeps getting different.
+1

however - some milestones to look forward to

when you don't have to "put them to bed"
when they can get their own stuff from the fridge
when they start paying for stuff with their own money from their own job

hang in there, you'll get there, & you're not alone!
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Old 08-22-14, 12:52 PM
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Waking up at 5am is "sleeping through the night".

Some things that helped when we had 2 young ones:
1) One of you should go to bed early, wake up, and take the morning shift (e.g. sleep 9pm-5am). The other stays up late and sleeps in (say 12-7am).
2) We had a lot of success using the 90min sleep cycle with our kids (various books exist on the subject). YMMV but it's worth a shot.
3) I would sleep feed the kids right before going to bed (11:30ish) and that kept them full through the night.
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Old 08-22-14, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by JerrySTL View Post
Is he getting any other food besides milk? Maybe give him something more substantial for the last meal of the day.
I think this might be part of the problem. Since our new little one was born not too long ago, mommy's milk supply has shot through the roof. She really wants to bf him, so he's getting plenty of it (either from the source or from a bottle). So lately, he's been more and more uninterested in food. :-( I do keep trying though. Made him a hamburger and twice baked potato last night. He liked the potato but not the hamburger. Eh. I tried. lol
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Old 08-22-14, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Greg_R View Post
Waking up at 5am is "sleeping through the night".
I agree. Last night was 3:30ish though. I didn't go in there though, I just let him cry it out. Which lead to the 5:30 wakeup call and made it a little more difficult. If he wouldn't have woken up and started crying at 3:30 I would have been just peachy at 5:30. :-/
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Old 08-22-14, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by kevmk81 View Post
I know this isn't a parenting forum, but I need some advice! My son is almost 15 months old (end of this month). For the past two weeks he's been waking up around 3ish, cries but thankfully goes back to sleep. But two hours later, 5:30 on the dot, wakes up and cries, doesn't go back to sleep till I bring him something to fill his tummy. He's still bf'ing, my wife has milk in the fridge, so that's what I feed him. Wife is taking care of our 3 week old now, so I'm giving her a break and taking care of the 15 month old. It's definitely taking its toll - having to do this - and go to work for a full day. Yesterday I took a day off of work, and it was nice being able to 'sleep in' because the 15 month old slept after I fed him. And being able to nap when he napped around noon. Can't do that at work. Not saying being a stay at home mom/dad is easy, but you definitely have more opportunity for rest & some shut-eye. Love my little ones to death though, not complaining. Just asking for those that have the experience, when does it get any better/easier? We've trucked on for over a year, and he's had better sleeping habits when he was 8 months old!! His sleeping pattern just seems to be reversing back to when he was younger! :-( Anyways, back to work.
The thing is every kid has different habits, so one person's experience may or may not be an indicator of what you'll see. Our first was a breeze in terms of sleeping and our second didn't sleep through the night for more than a year. The folks who are advising get sleep are spot on. I hate going to sleep early because generally I would rather be doing something I like when I'm not working. But, especially with our second, I've had to adopt that approach because 7 years makes a big difference in terms of your ability to function on low sleep. Quite simply, I can't pull off what I could with our first and be productive.

One suggestion: try not doing anything at 5:30 and just letting him cry it out. At his age, that's OK and it might work. Often, they get conditioned to a certain response and if you go in, they'll keep doing it. Sounds funny, I know, but they know how to "game" us earlier than we think. Of course, part of it is also that they get conditioned to the habit of eating more as well. Try letting him cry it out for a week or two and see where it gets you. To me, 5:30 is the point at which -- if worse comes to worse -- I can get up shortly after that and be functional if that's what it comes to. So really, you don't have much to lose and you might gain something over the long term.

Our son, who's almost 2, was definitely more work than our daughter, but that's probably just the breaks and not specific to boys.
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Old 08-22-14, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by kevmk81 View Post
He liked the potato but not the hamburger.
Are you trying different textures for the same food?
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Old 08-22-14, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Greg_R View Post
Are you trying different textures for the same food?
Yeah, we are. He's just not big on meaty foods. He's stubborn on his veggies too. Everything else is fair game though. Fruit, crackers, dairy products, etc... but that's another topic. :-(
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Old 08-22-14, 04:01 PM
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With our daughter we had a tough time with solids due to her allergies, but eventually found stuff she could have. The only protein she could get basically came from meat. I found that she liked hamburger much better if we made meatloaf or meatballs. Mixing it with breadcrumb makes the meat less tough.

As for the sleeping, see if you can get your son to eat some solid food a little before bed (scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, rice, meatballs, small pasta like orzo, etc.). Top it off with a bottle mixed with some rice cereal right at bedtime. Hopefully that'll tide him over. Good luck and hang in there.
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Old 08-22-14, 07:26 PM
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Been there, done that. I don't have any advice. Not only do I think it would be great to sleep in til 5:30 but I have the opposite problem. I get up at 4:50 and upon leaving my bedroom, I see the light on in my 10 year old's room. I scare the daylights out of her opening the door and she exclaims, "whoah, is it really 5?" Ah yeah, get to freakin bed NOW!
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