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-   -   Worst brand name to put on my bike? (https://www.bikeforums.net/general-cycling-discussion/1053500-worst-brand-name-put-my-bike.html)

pataspen 03-21-16 09:36 PM

Worst brand name to put on my bike?
 
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Hi all,

A few years ago I did a fun little project; I learned what I could about frame geometries and then designed my own bike frame. I had a Chinese framebuilder make it, which worked out very well. I think it turned out rather nice. Plus, it was cheaper than I would have expected.

http://bikeforums.net/attachment.php...hmentid=510829

I purposefully chose the unfinished titanium. I thought polished titanium finish would shout out to thieves "Expensive bike! Please STEAL ME!!!" Even though the frame didn't cost much, I don't want it to look expensive.

Next month I'm going to hop on the bike and pedal to Argentina (barring castastrophe). I want it to look even cheaper. But I don't want to spray paint it or paste ugly stickers, as that would just be mean to my beloved bike.

But I had what I think is a genius idea... stick a brand name on the bike that will make it look like junk. I want it to shout out to the thieves "I'm a piece of junk! Don't waste your time!!!"

I have a graphic design buddy who can make any logo into a sticker. So the question is... which brand name shall I post on the frame?

I have an idea of which brand, but I want to see if there are any other great suggestions out there. Thanks!

ThermionicScott 03-21-16 09:40 PM

There's a guy or two on the C&V forum with a titanium "Huffy". ;)

Korina 03-21-16 09:49 PM

I second Huffy. Genius idea, BTW.

DrIsotope 03-21-16 10:14 PM

I think the new benchmark for "cheap BSO" has to be Roadmaster. You can't go wrong (right?) with any of the nameplates carried at the big-box stores-- Roadmaster, Mongoose, Huffy, Kent, NEXT, etc.

spdracr39 03-21-16 10:15 PM

Printing stickers with a copyrighted brand name is illegal just FYI.

DorkDisk 03-21-16 10:38 PM

Huffy is so bad they don't even export to other countries. Having travelled extensively in Latin America, I can say that people don't know that brand and might think it is worthy of stealing. You may have to switch decals around several times. I'd start with Vivanco or Magistroni in Mexico and once you hit Guatemala even that might be stolen

Decals don't fool knowledgable thieves though. Ti is distinctive. Get good locks instead. I know I'm not fooled by the Huffy decaled Litespeeds I see in NYC

I spent some of my youth in the middle of S. America due to my dad's job. My brother and I had Huffy BMXs. When we were leaving, we had several offers to buy them. We sold them fot more than we paid.

tyrion 03-21-16 10:40 PM

Well then if you want to avoid copyright issues how about "Hufy", a Huffy knockoff. (But let's be real, no bogus branding is going to hide the value of that bike.)

OnyxTiger 03-21-16 10:53 PM

So don't name it Huffy. Make it sound like a cheap knock off of a cheap name. Name it Huppy or Huggy.

canklecat 03-21-16 11:09 PM

I'm still trying to decide what to name my bike, which has no obvious brand name anywhere on the frame (it's a Globe). And there's a nice chromed blank spot for a badge on the head tube. Sometimes there's a bumper sticker for The Doors in there. Sometimes a pirate radio station bumper sticker.

But for the down tube I'm thinking:
Crashmobile (for you 1960s kids)
Rat Fink (ditto)
Pinto
Little Buddy (since I'm good for only a three hour tour before I get hopelessly lost)
Fleet (for the glycerin suppositories, not the speed)
Air Biscuit

Deal4Fuji 03-21-16 11:21 PM

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped.../EscudoPFA.png

Kedosto 03-21-16 11:28 PM

How about naming it something awful, like the local term for a venereal disease. Or maybe an offensive term insulting a mans masculinity. Machismo is big in Latin cultures so it may be just the right disincentive. What self respecting tough guy is going to want to be seen on something that suggests he's less than a bad ass?


-Kedosto

rex615 03-22-16 04:22 AM

Caloi (made in Brazil) might be a good choice for Argentina. At least people would recognize that brand name.

02Giant 03-22-16 05:00 AM

I think you are wasting your time.

indyfabz 03-22-16 05:25 AM


Originally Posted by 02Giant (Post 18627055)
I think you are wasting your time.

+1.

Garfield Cat 03-22-16 05:48 AM

Pick a Chinese brand name.

DorkDisk 03-22-16 05:58 AM


Originally Posted by Kedosto (Post 18626888)
How about naming it something awful, like the local term for a venereal disease. Or maybe an offensive term insulting a mans masculinity. Machismo is big in Latin cultures so it may be just the right disincentive. What self respecting tough guy is going to want to be seen on something that suggests he's less than a bad ass?


-Kedosto

The "local" term varies tremendously with each country. Did you ever try talking slang to a Brit? An Aussie? Had an Aussi GF once, it was almost a different language

Thieves are opportunists, deny them the easy steal.

Having offensive words on your gear will alienate you from people and some "machos" might take it out on you.

garyus 03-22-16 06:36 AM

"All Pro" an old Kmart brand.

Tim_Iowa 03-22-16 07:53 AM


Originally Posted by Deal4Fuji (Post 18626885)

I like it. Or, just put "POLICIA" on the down tube!

sheltonlp 03-22-16 07:57 AM

How about put a skin on it that makes it look all rusted and/or cracked?

dr_lha 03-22-16 07:57 AM

You could brand it "HMS Conqueror", that probably wouldn't be a popular brand in Argentina.

fietsbob 03-22-16 09:12 AM

Your Name.

garyus 03-22-16 09:58 AM

Fred

AlexCyclistRoch 03-22-16 10:11 AM


Originally Posted by Kedosto (Post 18626888)
How about naming it something awful, like the local term for a venereal disease. Or maybe an offensive term insulting a mans masculinity. Machismo is big in Latin cultures so it may be just the right disincentive. What self respecting tough guy is going to want to be seen on something that suggests he's less than a bad ass?


-Kedosto

Either "pajero" or "maricon" should suffice.

ramzilla 03-22-16 10:57 AM

"Cockroach" "Rat Puke" "Big Turd" "Putrid Fish" "Maggot" .................. I could go on and on..............

Hyperventilate 03-22-16 11:07 AM

A small statue of The Mother Maria and two dried chicken legs tied to the handlebar will do wonders to keep the troublemakers away


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