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what's up with all this one upmanship?

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what's up with all this one upmanship?

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Old 07-23-16, 11:20 AM
  #1  
roval
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what's up with all this one upmanship?

went riding with my son on our tandem yesterday, when i parked next to a guy about to start his ride.

he asks how fast our tandem goes. I said slowest of the slow going up but fast on the downhills due to our weight. he says i used to race them for a few years. so i say thats cool. he asks how fast on the flats. i say probably fast if it's not me and my son riding it. ( It's not a racing tandem just a comotion periscope scout with road bars).

How long you've had it, he asks. Since 2008 but moved to this state in 2009, i answer and still only has less than 2000 miles. (its like pulling teeth to get my wife or son to ride with me and i ride my mtb or roadbike more). he says, i ride everyday here and I've never seen you guys before(as if doubting the length of time I've owned it). he says, you know how much miles i got on my bike. i guess 10,000. he says 120to 130,000.

while I'm happy he rides regularly, i don't really care. in fact, i always tell my wife when i retire, i want to be like the older guys that ride everyday and drop me all the time.

iwished him a good ride and went about unloading our bike.
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Old 07-23-16, 11:39 AM
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It is almost human nature, at least for some. It doesn't matter what the activity in a group of people there will be the one up mentally.

There is a saying when I was into sailboats, "how do you tell if two sailboats are racing? Just see if they are headed in the same direction."

But I have been in car forums and even telescope and binocular forums and the same thing happens.

The old saying about fisherman telling stories should just leave off the fisher part.
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Old 07-23-16, 11:42 AM
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Seems like toppers are everywhere these days.
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Old 07-23-16, 11:55 AM
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Some people just need (perceived) validation from others to feel good about themselves. Whatever.

More importantly, I hope you had a blast taking your son out on the tandem!
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Old 07-23-16, 11:57 AM
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There's a great Monty Python skit about this

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Old 07-23-16, 12:07 PM
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You know, maybe he's lonely and socially awkward. Maybe he thought you'd like him. Maybe he had a wife that died 5 years ago and he hasn't talked to anyone since and just doesn't know how to act around people anymore. Maybe his story is even worse than that.

Who knows. I try to listen to people that are willing to talk.
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Old 07-23-16, 12:21 PM
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Meh, every hobby I'm into has those people. It is quite humorous when I go to a big brew day, and I've got my turkey burner and a stock pot, setting up next to guys with a couple tents and $5000 worth of equipment.

Even more so, when my beer beats theirs in the taste testing competition
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Old 07-23-16, 12:52 PM
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Those guys are everywhere and know everything, it's all about them and has nothing to do with you. So if your interested in them listen, if not don't, you already know about you.
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Old 07-23-16, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by jefnvk View Post
Meh, every hobby I'm into has those people. It is quite humorous when I go to a big brew day, and I've got my turkey burner and a stock pot, setting up next to guys with a couple tents and $5000 worth of equipment.

Even more so, when my beer beats theirs in the taste testing competition
Well, what kind of yeast do you use ? I culture my own of course !
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Old 07-23-16, 01:32 PM
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Like mentioned it could be a multitude of reasons. Everybody is different. Some more so than others. But define normal and define different. I've learned that just listening, smiling and letting them say what they want to say is easier than being rude. Chances are you won't see him again and if you do then just smile and wave. No harm. No foul.
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Old 07-23-16, 03:36 PM
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One upmanship only works with people who care.
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Old 07-23-16, 04:04 PM
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I was at a Japanese restaurant with a guy that was always one up on everyone. He started telling us how great the apps were and said that you had to use the dip though as he put a generous amount of it in his mouth. It was immediately obvious that he had never had wasabi before. Priceless!
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Old 07-23-16, 05:13 PM
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Yep, this is a world centred entirely on the individual who isn't the least interested in others around them. UNLESS it's posted on social media to tell the world... but it still has to be about themselves.

Shame. The conversation with the other guy could have led to why, where, when... it might have inspired the son to get on the tandem more often.
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Old 07-23-16, 05:20 PM
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Whether bicycling or otherwise, when I run into people who seem compelled to tell me how good they are (or were) I usually assume that's all they have in their lives, and it's not in me to take that one thing away from them.
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Old 07-23-16, 05:58 PM
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Gee, and what if you had no clue as to bicycling and some guy comes up to you and does the same thing, except this guy mentions something about this tour dee france race and he did pretty good with a number of firsts. Then upon leaving he mentions his name is Chris and it was nice talking to you.
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Old 07-23-16, 07:15 PM
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roval
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most of the chit chat ive had in parking lots while biking is more along the lines of what a great day for biking, man it's hot or cool bike how do you like it or me asking them how they got their trike, how it got outfitted or somebody giving me some info on a group ride etc....

it felt more weird than me being irritated at it.
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Old 07-23-16, 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Homebrew01 View Post
Well, what kind of yeast do you use ? I culture my own of course !
You're gonna laugh, but almost exclusively S04 with a bit of Nottingham and Belle Saison on occasion! I like malty, fruity, estery beers.
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Old 07-24-16, 02:29 PM
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I wasn't there so of course I don't know the guy's tone, but.... it sounds like a simple conversation to me, not one-upsmanship or bragging. But you were there so I defer to your interpretation.
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Old 07-24-16, 04:01 PM
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saw him again today when i went for a mtb ride. he was parked in his spot. i asked him where he raced tandems as he now has my interest piqued. he didnt race tandems, he raced against them when he encounters them. the guy is always just competitive i guess.

he says when he sees a couple of cyclists biking he sizes them up and based on his or her equipment, clothes, shoes, how the bike is set up he could tell right away which rider is the slower one. he then rides with them and starts racing them. now i don't know if the other cyclists know that they've just been tagged to participate in a race but he says he beats them alll the time. he then said i used to do it all the time to some people I've ridden with for years and now they don't talk to me. he thinks it's because he keeps beating them i think i would have a different interpretation as to why that may be..
I
so i don't think i misjudged his tone the first time .
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Old 07-24-16, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by roval View Post
saw him again today when i went for a mtb ride. he was parked in his spot. i asked him where he raced tandems as he now has my interest piqued. he didnt race tandems, he raced against them when he encounters them. the guy is always just competitive i guess.

he says when he sees a couple of cyclists biking he sizes them up and based on his or her equipment, clothes, shoes, how the bike is set up he could tell right away which rider is the slower one. he then rides with them and starts racing them. now i don't know if the other cyclists know that they've just been tagged to participate in a race but he says he beats them alll the time. he then said i used to do it all the time to some people I've ridden with for years and now they don't talk to me. he thinks it's because he keeps beating them i think i would have a different interpretation as to why that may be..
I
so i don't think i misjudged his tone the first time .
Think about this:

Hardly anybody buys a tandem in order to go faster. The huge majority of tandems (like you for example) are bought because two riders with different physical abilities want to ride together. In other words, there is always one weaker rider being pulled along by the stronger. Racing against such a team is meaningless.
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Old 07-24-16, 07:17 PM
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i agree especially since on that bike path, the tandems ive seen have been with couples. as i mentioned they were probalbly unaware somebody was in a contest with them.
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Old 07-24-16, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by roval View Post
saw him again today when i went for a mtb ride. he was parked in his spot. i asked him where he raced tandems as he now has my interest piqued. he didnt race tandems, he raced against them when he encounters them. the guy is always just competitive i guess.

he says when he sees a couple of cyclists biking he sizes them up and based on his or her equipment, clothes, shoes, how the bike is set up he could tell right away which rider is the slower one. he then rides with them and starts racing them. now i don't know if the other cyclists know that they've just been tagged to participate in a race but he says he beats them alll the time. he then said i used to do it all the time to some people I've ridden with for years and now they don't talk to me. he thinks it's because he keeps beating them i think i would have a different interpretation as to why that may be..
I
so i don't think i misjudged his tone the first time .
Take it with a grain of salt. Some people are just like that. I interact with cyclists pretty much every time I commute and the vast majority are just super nice, regardless of whether they're doing intensive training on a TT bike or just out for a ride or commuting like me. There's one guy that I run into occasionally that seems to have that competitive streak, though. I call him "Mr. Bianchi Guy" because he has a bunch of (you guessed it) Bianchi bikes that he commutes on. I see him on the train occasionally, and have overheard some of the other cyclists who take the train talking about him. "He does centuries for breakfast," that sort of thing. Anyway, one day I left work, early on in my commuting days, riding my Bianchi Bergamo city bike. I caught him going by and he was just loping along. I wanted to go a bit faster, so I went by him. Next thing I know he's blowing by me in full sprint and giving me the stink eye as he goes by. Only thing I can assume is that he was somehow offended at being overtaken by a newb riding a BSO (Bicycle Shaped Object) that happened to bear the same brand name that he apparently holds dear, and, god forbid, isn't in the proper Celeste color.

So yeah, they're out there. But I find them the exception rather than the norm, thankfully.
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Old 07-25-16, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Homebrew01 View Post
Well, what kind of yeast do you use ? I culture my own of course !
I grow my own barley and hops indoors using hydroponics.
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Old 07-25-16, 10:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Camilo(me) View Post
I wasn't there so of course I don't know the guy's tone, but.... it sounds like a simple conversation to me, not one-upsmanship or bragging. But you were there so I defer to your interpretation.
Originally Posted by roval View Post
saw him again today when i went for a mtb ride. he was parked in his spot. i asked him where he raced tandems as he now has my interest piqued. he didnt race tandems, he raced against them when he encounters them. the guy is always just competitive i guess.

he says when he sees a couple of cyclists biking he sizes them up and based on his or her equipment, clothes, shoes, how the bike is set up he could tell right away which rider is the slower one. he then rides with them and starts racing them. now i don't know if the other cyclists know that they've just been tagged to participate in a race but he says he beats them alll the time. he then said i used to do it all the time to some people I've ridden with for years and now they don't talk to me. he thinks it's because he keeps beating them i think i would have a different interpretation as to why that may be..
I
so i don't think i misjudged his tone the first time .
Yea, no kidding sounds like a real clueless piece of work.
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Old 07-26-16, 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted by D1andonlyDman View Post
There's a great Monty Python skit about this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
Ha, thanks for that! I haven't heard that since way back when I lived in a shoebox in the middle of the road...
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