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Raced a random middle aged dude on a LSD ride this week

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Raced a random middle aged dude on a LSD ride this week

Old 05-18-17, 03:24 PM
  #1  
theHomelessJedi
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Raced a random middle aged dude on a LSD ride this week

So, I just thought this was kind of funny and wanted to share.
Monday I was out on a ride. Trying to build my base miles so I was going to ride around 20 miles and a slow(ish) pace. About HR zone 2. Actually had to restrain the little Ricky Bobby inside me screaming "I Wanna Go Fast!!" About two miles left in the ride I come down off of a large Dam Bridge on the Arkansas River Trail, BDB - Big Dam Bridge is what we call it, and I'm coasting as I start to pass another rider.
Politely, I say, "on your left".
As I draw even with the guy, I hear him shift two gears and just start hammering on the pedals and takes off past me.
I'm just kind of amused when get my first look at the guy. He was riding what looked like an aero TT bike, all carbon wheels, blacked out. Couldn't tell the brand. But he was wearing a super tight race fit jersey with a local brewery label on it, beer gut bulging out, black camo cargo shorts and running shoes. Not judging, I couldn't afford lycra gear at first, just kind of funny looking. His bike also suggested that he has more money than I do.
He keeps this ridiculous pace for about a mile.
I wasn't even really going to respond until he started zipping through and past groups of people walking or running along the trail without saying a word of warning to them. Being so close, I started yelling ahead of him to warn others we were coming (he's about five bike lengths ahead of me at this point). So finally I decide, screw it, if he is going to be total jerk to other people like this, I owe it to him to at least draft off of him the rest of the ride.
I get within a bike length and just hunker down. He notices me in his glasses mirror and decides its Hammer Time again so stands out of the saddle and takes off. I'm already getting momentum going so I up the effort as well and just stay in his blind spot (I guess, if glasses mirrors have blind spots). He eventually starts losing steam and dropping back, about the time we are even with each other again, I shift gears and leave him huffing and puffing behind me.
I was proud even though I completely negated what I had set out to do.
Then went home for a celebratory hoppy post ride carb drink.
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Old 05-18-17, 03:31 PM
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PepeM
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Ah, good old MUP racing. BF at its best.
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Old 05-18-17, 03:33 PM
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Cool story bro.

Good job encouraging dangerous behavior and actively participating.

Why were you riding on a trail with walkers/joggers/dogs when you're "building a base" instead of just riding on the road like a responsible cyclist?
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Old 05-18-17, 03:38 PM
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I love LSD rides
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Old 05-18-17, 03:38 PM
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5/5 - would read again. Hits all the notes.
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Old 05-18-17, 03:39 PM
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Why is it irresponsible if he wants to ride on the trail?
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Old 05-18-17, 03:41 PM
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Truly inspirational and uplifting.
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Old 05-18-17, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by corrado33 View Post
Cool story bro.

Good job encouraging dangerous behavior and actively participating.

Why were you riding on a trail with walkers/joggers/dogs when you're "building a base" instead of just riding on the road like a responsible cyclist?
Stayed safely back until we were past the groups of people. Should've mentioned that when I chased him down the road ahead was clear. My bad.

The Arkansas River trail is a combination of closed, paved roads, and actual public roads with cars on them. It was made for multi-use. The section he was on just so happened to be closed section. Everyone just calls it a trail

Also, I might mention, the section he was passing super close to people on, was as wide as a two lane highway. He had plenty of room, but still chose to pass within a couple of feet of others.

Last edited by theHomelessJedi; 05-18-17 at 03:48 PM. Reason: Extra clarification
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Old 05-18-17, 03:43 PM
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I keep waiting for the part when the ride was tripping on LSD...colour me disappointed.
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Old 05-18-17, 03:48 PM
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Old 05-18-17, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Dirt Farmer View Post
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Old 05-18-17, 05:06 PM
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Sometimes LSD affects my balance. And it always dehydrates me.
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Old 05-18-17, 05:41 PM
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Hoo boy.
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Old 05-18-17, 06:10 PM
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A riveting drama of Pathletic imaginary racing among the baby strollers, dog walkers and joggers on the MUP.

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Old 05-18-17, 06:16 PM
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Threads like this remind me why I come here.

Though "Hammer Time" somehow lacks the delightful mental imagery brought about by "slamdancing on the pedals." That's pure poetry, man.
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Old 05-18-17, 06:41 PM
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He was on LSD and you were on PCP?
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Old 05-18-17, 06:43 PM
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Excellent! I'm glad you droped the hamer on the old cuss.
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Old 05-18-17, 06:45 PM
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MUPpet racing at its finest. I wonder if there are future adventures of Super Beergut Man.
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Old 05-18-17, 06:49 PM
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Did you dial it up to 400 watts.

Any thread with "hammer time" in it is always full of win. I especially liked it was capitalized.

Last edited by brianmcg123; 05-18-17 at 06:52 PM.
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Old 05-18-17, 06:50 PM
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Cat 7 racing?
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Old 05-18-17, 07:01 PM
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I wonder what the other rider's story sounds like.
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Old 05-18-17, 07:07 PM
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In all my brodom I have met many a bro telling many a cool story but this tale is the coolest of them all.

Also, can't say I wouldn't be tempted to do the same. In fact, I had an almost identical experience.

One day I was passed by a little girl on a Hello Kitty bike who flew by me on the MUP, her little bitty legs churning some serious butter. She was doing at least 15 mph. I couldn't bring myself to pass her. Of course it had nothing to do with my asthmatic huffing and puffing and being topped out on my He Man bicycle. It was a humiliation so transcendent that it cured me of all -- okay, most -- pretensions.

See, exactly the same.
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Old 05-18-17, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Paul Barnard View Post
I wonder what the other rider's story sounds like.
I was out on the local MUP testing riding a new build, a blacked out TT frame with unbranded carbon wheels, when some creep yelled something at me from behind. I couldn't make out what he said but from mirror I could tell he was some poseur wannabe racerboy kitted out in some pro team kit. Anyhoo, I ignore him and then he gets on my wheel, and I'm like, WTF? And then he starts yelling at the pedestrians on the trail, telling them to get out of the way. I thought this guy was totally insane, maybe on drugs or something.

What an ass!
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Old 05-18-17, 07:14 PM
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There's a road I'd like to tell you about,
it's in my home town,
it's the one where I drope the watts,
and let them feel my pain
I gotta ride fast,
dontchaknow
'cause if I don't
they'll gun me down for sure!
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Old 05-18-17, 07:14 PM
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I once caught a guy on the river trail, who was visibly and frantically trying to stay ahead of me... on his pedal-assist fatbike. He would shoot a glance over his shoulder every 30 seconds or so, but he was unfortunately (for him) restricted to whatever speed his motor would move him, while his feet whizzed in circles on an awfully tiny chainring. He managed to hold me off for perhaps a mile.

And no pretensions-- I had no desire to catch him, until I saw him look over his shoulder. Then it was, to use the parlance of this thread, Hammer Time.
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